Quote:why do good women attract/accept shitheads?
OMG is that a can of worms of social psychology. Anything from laws, learned behavior, socialization, preexisting psychological issues, authority, economics, desperation... and I'm sure I'm missing a few things. But let me put it this way: As far as I can tell, the abuser constructs a narrative for the victim, and the victim gradually accepts that Personal Reality.
At least that's how Danielle explained to me, without the otaku reference. Her parents were addicts, so she lived with a somewhat abusive grandma. She met a guy who decided that she would be his. And he was really nice and sweet and rich, so she dated him a little, and eventually moved in. And then he throws away all of her "slutty" clothes but omg he's so sorry! And a couple months later, he hit her, but it's only because he was drunk and because she did something wrong, so it won't happen again. Maybe it was really her fault? And it's chipping away, step by step, at identity and self-esteem until that becomes normal life. That was the part I was missing, that living with abuse just becomes so ordinary and banal and mundane.
By the way she did get divorced, but not without her spending a few weeks in jail, getting the judge in her case censured, and losing visitation rights for her daughter forever. And that's where the next generation of potential victims comes from, like a memetic virus.
I guess if I want to bring it all back on topic, I have thought about it a little in the story, especially since Rob suggested Ai yori Aoshi. The main character, Kaoru, is a physical abuse victim from his "grandfather". And I've thought about what relationships my characters could form. I feel like these characters could end up in abusive relationships if they aren't careful: Aoi Sakuraba, Tina Foster, Kaorin Aida, Mayu Miyuki -- in that order. On the other hand, I have characters immune from it: Tomoyo Daidouji, Entchen, Tomo Takino, Yomi Mizuhara, anyone named Kinomoto, Shaoran Li, Chiyo Mihama, Osaka, Akari Mizunashi, Alicia Florence, Chika Minazuki -- also in that order.
"Kitto daijoubu da yo." - Sakura Kinomoto