The plot in general seems sound. That's more than enough to start writing, I would have just started it, and had all of the rest of it as vague bullet points in my notes as they come up. I don't know who Alice Lowel-Bunnings is. Is that an original character?
I think actually a bigger challenge than the fight scene, is figuring out what a witch's lair for Alicia would look like. It's like trying to paint insanity into a visual medium. And for a character with so little screen time, what are the ephemera of her life in that fever dream? I'm probably a big enough David Lynch fan I can help. But in text, you can incorporate sensations not in the anime, like smells and touch. The wiki has Rune fonts which should definitely be used. Anyone around here speak German?
Obviously this kind of thing depends on the person, but this sort of thinking was applied to me several times, and it was terrible every single time. All of the time I wasted in school, because someone convinced my parents that I would be happier with people my own age, whole years of my life wasted in boredom. But then our whole school system is designed to silo people into the same skill level, so that when they reach a real workplace they can be totally unprepared for dealing with failure and people with different levels of skill. </rant>
But really, reconsider this, especially for Nanoha. Is she the kind of person who would be happier if she knew she had been held back? Most bullies wouldn't even be interested in her after she shows her alpha side even once. Exceptionally stupid kids may discover the family art, and she will inform them that she went easy on them, and it will be true.
I think actually a bigger challenge than the fight scene, is figuring out what a witch's lair for Alicia would look like. It's like trying to paint insanity into a visual medium. And for a character with so little screen time, what are the ephemera of her life in that fever dream? I'm probably a big enough David Lynch fan I can help. But in text, you can incorporate sensations not in the anime, like smells and touch. The wiki has Rune fonts which should definitely be used. Anyone around here speak German?
Quote:Alicia has tested well enough to place into third grade, but at Benjamin's advisement, she is placed with the 1st grade instead where it is likely that she will be much happier. Nanoha and Fate are in 3rd grade despite testing well enough for 5th - again, on Ben's recommendation. Although he does say that it's not a bad idea for the two to be in the same class together as that will greatly reduce the likelihood of bullying.
Obviously this kind of thing depends on the person, but this sort of thinking was applied to me several times, and it was terrible every single time. All of the time I wasted in school, because someone convinced my parents that I would be happier with people my own age, whole years of my life wasted in boredom. But then our whole school system is designed to silo people into the same skill level, so that when they reach a real workplace they can be totally unprepared for dealing with failure and people with different levels of skill. </rant>
But really, reconsider this, especially for Nanoha. Is she the kind of person who would be happier if she knew she had been held back? Most bullies wouldn't even be interested in her after she shows her alpha side even once. Exceptionally stupid kids may discover the family art, and she will inform them that she went easy on them, and it will be true.
"Kitto daijoubu da yo." - Sakura Kinomoto