RE: [IC][WIP][Arc 1] How I Managed to Quit Worrying and Love The Grief Seed
04-22-2019, 04:13 AM
04-22-2019, 04:13 AM
Too damn quiet in here.
Have a snippet for the upcoming Volume II
I had to DIG in order to find the original version of this - it was all the way back in the first Planning for Arc 1 thread! My how the time flies.
Later that night as Ben worked on the enrollment forms for all the girls, he couldn’t help but be reminded of his own past - how he had once had a course catalog for high school thrust in front of him, and no idea what to do because he had no frame of reference, and worse of all, not enough confidence in himself to make the choice.
He sighed as that brought back memories. Not the good ones. The ones where he’d cower in front of a man that was supposed to be his father. How that father would demand that he not cower before him despite doing everything possible to make him cower.
He spent several minutes like that, lost in a sort of memetic loop of bad memories.
There was a knock on the door and Ben looked up from his laptop, his thoughts immediately dispelled as he wondered who on earth it could be. To his surprise, Alicia was waiting for him as he opened the front door.
"Alicia!” said Ben in shock. “What are you doing here so late, sweetie? Come on inside before before someone sees you and wakes up your sister."
Quietly, she came inside, her slippers padding on the ground as she hugged her teddy bear close to her chest. As she worked at getting herself settled, Benjamin went and put a glass of milk in the microwave.
"Alright,” said Ben as he sat down next to the girl, “it's only you and me here now. You can tell me what's bothering you."
Alicia was silent for a moment before the microwave beeped. As Ben went to get her milk, she suddenly said, "You were thinking about stuff again, weren't you?"
Benjamin paused in mid motion, then sighed and brought Alicia the warm milk.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart," said Ben as he sat down next to her, leaving the glass of milk on the coffee table in front of her. Rather than say anything, though, she latched onto him, sniffling softly. Ben put my arms around her and said, "Oh Alicia. I'm so sorry."
"Don't be," she whispered through her gentle sobs. "You brought me back. You made it so I can live with my sister. You made her happy. You made me happy. But as much as I feel what hurts you, big brother, I also feel what makes you happy. And I know that seeing big sister and I together... it makes you so happy that it blots out the pain."
Ben knew it may seem strange for such a little girl to be so articulate, but Alicia had always been ahead of the curve for her age - every bit the budding intellectual that her mother had been in her own youth. And she only grew more sharp and intelligent once she was resurrected. Washu-chan was absolutely certain that Benjamin’s intellect was passively bleeding through like an osmotic process. Which probably meant that very soon she would be able to start learning the basic calculations she needed to know in order to become a mage like her sister.
Benjamin reached to his computer and brought up some music - a selection of soothing and uplifting tracks by James Horner. Not only to ease Alicia's reciprocal hurt, but to help soothe him as well so the feedback effect would be cut off. He then got her to drink her glass of milk, and then showed her what he was up to (their enrollment paperwork - boring adult stuff, but she found it mildly interesting anyhow to see how things behind the scenes worked). Ben then picked her up and went to Fate and Nanoha's apartment.
Fate opened the door before Ben could even knock. "Just bring her inside, Benjamin," she said kindly. Alicia was already dozing on his shoulder. As Ben laid her down in her bed, Alicia sighed and snuggled her teddy bear closer. A quick little kiss on her forehead left a content smile on her lips as she drifted off completely.
Suddenly, Ben felt Fate's arms around him.
"Fate?"
"It's alright," she said quietly. "I just want to stay like this for a moment. I am so grateful for you and everything you've done, and everything you keep on doing. You know that you're the closest thing she has to a father?"
It made Ben’s heart twinge in a bittersweet way and he put his arms around Fate's petite form and hugged her back.
"Yeah... it's hard not for me to treat her like as if she was my own. Every day she seems to become just a bit more like me - she might as well be my daughter anyhow."
"That's fine by me," whispered Fate. "Her becoming more like you... I can't think of anyone better. I love you so much after all - just as much as I love Nanoha."
Benjamin couldn't even sigh at that. A love that true he could never berate. Not in a million years.
But more importantly, Benjamin knew that Fate would soon start growing like a weed once her adolescence hits - he was sure it would do so hard and fast - and she would start turning into a woman before his eyes. While he knew that the building hormones were a factor, he also knew that there was nothing false about what she felt.
Benjamin kissed the top of Fate's head. There was simply no way for him to lie about it - he loved Fate dearly. And Nanoha, too, for that matter.
Fate looked up at Benjamin with those beautiful ruby eyes of hers. They normally seem more like a brilliant hue of brown, especially when half-shaded by her low-hanging bangs, but once the light caught them, they glittered like the finest cut corundum. She was already so gorgeous, even as a child. She would be breathtaking once she was an adult.
"I need to get some sleep,” she said. “You do, too. Go on, Benjamin. We still have a lot to do tomorrow."
Ben rolled his eyes at that. "Oh lardy, do we ever."
Have a snippet for the upcoming Volume II
I had to DIG in order to find the original version of this - it was all the way back in the first Planning for Arc 1 thread! My how the time flies.
Later that night as Ben worked on the enrollment forms for all the girls, he couldn’t help but be reminded of his own past - how he had once had a course catalog for high school thrust in front of him, and no idea what to do because he had no frame of reference, and worse of all, not enough confidence in himself to make the choice.
He sighed as that brought back memories. Not the good ones. The ones where he’d cower in front of a man that was supposed to be his father. How that father would demand that he not cower before him despite doing everything possible to make him cower.
He spent several minutes like that, lost in a sort of memetic loop of bad memories.
There was a knock on the door and Ben looked up from his laptop, his thoughts immediately dispelled as he wondered who on earth it could be. To his surprise, Alicia was waiting for him as he opened the front door.
"Alicia!” said Ben in shock. “What are you doing here so late, sweetie? Come on inside before before someone sees you and wakes up your sister."
Quietly, she came inside, her slippers padding on the ground as she hugged her teddy bear close to her chest. As she worked at getting herself settled, Benjamin went and put a glass of milk in the microwave.
"Alright,” said Ben as he sat down next to the girl, “it's only you and me here now. You can tell me what's bothering you."
Alicia was silent for a moment before the microwave beeped. As Ben went to get her milk, she suddenly said, "You were thinking about stuff again, weren't you?"
Benjamin paused in mid motion, then sighed and brought Alicia the warm milk.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart," said Ben as he sat down next to her, leaving the glass of milk on the coffee table in front of her. Rather than say anything, though, she latched onto him, sniffling softly. Ben put my arms around her and said, "Oh Alicia. I'm so sorry."
"Don't be," she whispered through her gentle sobs. "You brought me back. You made it so I can live with my sister. You made her happy. You made me happy. But as much as I feel what hurts you, big brother, I also feel what makes you happy. And I know that seeing big sister and I together... it makes you so happy that it blots out the pain."
Ben knew it may seem strange for such a little girl to be so articulate, but Alicia had always been ahead of the curve for her age - every bit the budding intellectual that her mother had been in her own youth. And she only grew more sharp and intelligent once she was resurrected. Washu-chan was absolutely certain that Benjamin’s intellect was passively bleeding through like an osmotic process. Which probably meant that very soon she would be able to start learning the basic calculations she needed to know in order to become a mage like her sister.
Benjamin reached to his computer and brought up some music - a selection of soothing and uplifting tracks by James Horner. Not only to ease Alicia's reciprocal hurt, but to help soothe him as well so the feedback effect would be cut off. He then got her to drink her glass of milk, and then showed her what he was up to (their enrollment paperwork - boring adult stuff, but she found it mildly interesting anyhow to see how things behind the scenes worked). Ben then picked her up and went to Fate and Nanoha's apartment.
Fate opened the door before Ben could even knock. "Just bring her inside, Benjamin," she said kindly. Alicia was already dozing on his shoulder. As Ben laid her down in her bed, Alicia sighed and snuggled her teddy bear closer. A quick little kiss on her forehead left a content smile on her lips as she drifted off completely.
Suddenly, Ben felt Fate's arms around him.
"Fate?"
"It's alright," she said quietly. "I just want to stay like this for a moment. I am so grateful for you and everything you've done, and everything you keep on doing. You know that you're the closest thing she has to a father?"
It made Ben’s heart twinge in a bittersweet way and he put his arms around Fate's petite form and hugged her back.
"Yeah... it's hard not for me to treat her like as if she was my own. Every day she seems to become just a bit more like me - she might as well be my daughter anyhow."
"That's fine by me," whispered Fate. "Her becoming more like you... I can't think of anyone better. I love you so much after all - just as much as I love Nanoha."
Benjamin couldn't even sigh at that. A love that true he could never berate. Not in a million years.
But more importantly, Benjamin knew that Fate would soon start growing like a weed once her adolescence hits - he was sure it would do so hard and fast - and she would start turning into a woman before his eyes. While he knew that the building hormones were a factor, he also knew that there was nothing false about what she felt.
Benjamin kissed the top of Fate's head. There was simply no way for him to lie about it - he loved Fate dearly. And Nanoha, too, for that matter.
Fate looked up at Benjamin with those beautiful ruby eyes of hers. They normally seem more like a brilliant hue of brown, especially when half-shaded by her low-hanging bangs, but once the light caught them, they glittered like the finest cut corundum. She was already so gorgeous, even as a child. She would be breathtaking once she was an adult.
"I need to get some sleep,” she said. “You do, too. Go on, Benjamin. We still have a lot to do tomorrow."
Ben rolled his eyes at that. "Oh lardy, do we ever."