(05-21-2019, 06:02 AM)classicdrogn Wrote: Hm... Well, for one thing, I'd suggest switching the narration to past tense, both as a matter of convention and to set it apart a little more from the dialogue. You could also stand to add a little more narration overall, even if it's mostly just one dude giving a speech he could stand up, walk around, or look at various people in the room, or gesture for emphasis or at a visual aid. It's not bad as is and present tense narration is hardly wrong in and of itself, but those are what spring to mind.
Thanks.
