Okay, I'm going to be a blunt. This didn't address most of the problems I saw in the scene. There's a lot of Ben telling Rei things she already knows, followed by a grave insult for which she somehow decides not to leave the room. Would Rei really stand for it when a man she doesn't know starts mansplaining how she should consider being a concubine? Would any woman? Possibly Ayanami, but not Hino, Princess Mars. I don't understand why you're trying to protray Rei acting like an abuse victim.
So after that point, the rest of the conversation doesn't make any sense. Even if she can feel Ben's emotions, her own anger covers it up. I know from experience with my own temper that it's very hard to feel compassion for someone who you think is a total asshole. All the words flows right through until you calm down.
The implication that all of the inner senshi want to get in Mamoru's pants also seems to be um, relatively uncanonical. Seriously, I feel like Ryo the Psychic Lad got more attention from Ami than Mamoru did.
On the second scene, taking as assumption that the first scene somehow happened: I don't understand why Rei beats herself up over this. Part of being a warrior means that one cannot fight all battles. This is a mental trap that I doubt even first season Rei would have fallen into, and certainly not after the events at the end of the first season. I don't understand why Belldandy would leave Rei in such an unsettled state, when there's nothing to be unsettled about. Nanoha will fight the battle. Rei is sworn to "love and passion", not "love and justice", so she would understand this.
So what's the purpose here? Recognizing Ben's hurt already happens with Nanoha. For Rei, this seems more like Flanderization than character development. The information shared doesn't really help; she can come to the same conclusions on her own over the next 24 hours. The tea scene is pretty nice, if a little racist -- but it's definitely in line with Japanese casual racism and Rei's "failure mode" (i.e. I could see Touga Kiyruu thinking it). But given that I wrote lots of slice of life things already, I'm at the point where I'd consider adding a modified version of the second scene only. It's better to leave it to readers to imagine the catharsis than to provide one that rings false.
So after that point, the rest of the conversation doesn't make any sense. Even if she can feel Ben's emotions, her own anger covers it up. I know from experience with my own temper that it's very hard to feel compassion for someone who you think is a total asshole. All the words flows right through until you calm down.
The implication that all of the inner senshi want to get in Mamoru's pants also seems to be um, relatively uncanonical. Seriously, I feel like Ryo the Psychic Lad got more attention from Ami than Mamoru did.
On the second scene, taking as assumption that the first scene somehow happened: I don't understand why Rei beats herself up over this. Part of being a warrior means that one cannot fight all battles. This is a mental trap that I doubt even first season Rei would have fallen into, and certainly not after the events at the end of the first season. I don't understand why Belldandy would leave Rei in such an unsettled state, when there's nothing to be unsettled about. Nanoha will fight the battle. Rei is sworn to "love and passion", not "love and justice", so she would understand this.
So what's the purpose here? Recognizing Ben's hurt already happens with Nanoha. For Rei, this seems more like Flanderization than character development. The information shared doesn't really help; she can come to the same conclusions on her own over the next 24 hours. The tea scene is pretty nice, if a little racist -- but it's definitely in line with Japanese casual racism and Rei's "failure mode" (i.e. I could see Touga Kiyruu thinking it). But given that I wrote lots of slice of life things already, I'm at the point where I'd consider adding a modified version of the second scene only. It's better to leave it to readers to imagine the catharsis than to provide one that rings false.
"Kitto daijoubu da yo." - Sakura Kinomoto