(02-18-2021, 05:12 PM)DHBirr Wrote: Alexandra Petri once again satirizes the news, this time "channeling" the clueless Cuban-Canadian. She "quotes" Senator Cruz as thinking (yes, thinking, implausible though that seems for him):
Quote:Seeing Texas in crisis, my reasoning was that the last thing anyone would want would be for me to show up. I assumed that the only thing that could make everyone’s experience worse would be the addition of Ted Cruz*. “My power is out… I am breaking up my furniture to burn it… and Ted Cruz is here!” That third thing would be the thing that broke you, I think.
Never in my life has someone said, “What a relief! Ted Cruz is here! Now things are looking up!” My presence has the effect of extinguishing the last small bit of hope that people were unaware they still had. Considering this, I concluded that if you were already struggling, my arrival (which in the best of times drains all the joy and color from the world) would not help things along.
Rafael Edward Penisnose may or may not be capable of "thought" as intelligent aware people understand it, but if he had the level of self-awareness it would take for him to have the specific thoughts depicted by Petridishes, he would not necessarily be alive at this point.