Just had an idea...

[Bob Schroeck]

Okay, so the original CTMNB thread seems to have vanished long ago -- as in circa 2006 -- I started with the second thread. Here are my choices for its "Best of". As always, this is colored by my own biases and preferences, so if anyone wants to add other items, I will have no problems with that.

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Best of "Crossovers That Should Not Be, Take 2"

Invader Lum
(Evil Midnight Lurker)

Tuxedo Koumori: I don't think those jewels belong to you, Sailor Mooncat.
Selena (in a purple leather seifuku, running a finger around the rose in his lapel): I do have to check if they're the Ginzouishou after all, detective.
(classicdrogn)

The story of a psychotic, demonic blooded, berserker that is forced to bend to the will of a ghost and learn its craft... or it will become too sick to move if it tries to kill anyone...
Orochi No Go
(Necratoid)

Kimagure Orange Road Warrior.
Psychic teens battle for control of the post-apocalyptic wastelands while trying to resolve romantic entanglements! Move over, Kenshiro...
(Evil Midnight Lurker)

Touched By An Anvil
(me)

Casper, the Friendly Ghost in the Shell
(Herr Bad Moon)

Battlestar Galactus
"... leads a rag-tag fugitive fleet in a lonely quest, for a shining planet - known as lunch."
(Rob Kelk)

The Government in Britain has gone horribly, horribly wrong. The core of moralizing self-abnegation and restrictions had always been there, ever since the Wars, but it was the Disease, and the terrorist attacks that released it on an unsuspecting populace that really rocketed the Norselight party into power. Elected on a semifascist platform, they moved quickly to true fascism. They consolidated power, first in the organs of government, then in the media, then in eliminating their rivals, then in dismantling the organs of democracy. They instituted a curfew, and the police forces ran rampant after hours. News was replaced by propaganda, and everyone was left under watchful eyes. They seem near-unstoppable, save for one man. One man is brave enough to oppose them - one man, donning the facemask and dramatic black cloak that stand as stark symbols of an earlier rebellion against the government and the status quo - that remind us all that revolt is not only possible, but necessary. One man who still dares to wield the Powers of the Dark, oppose the might of the Aurors, and defy the corruption that has seized the soul of Wizarding Britain.
V for Voldemort.
Remember remember the fifth of November,
Unspeakables, treason and plot?
Well, theres one more reason Unspeakable treason
Should never be forgot.
(Sirrocco)

Classic Saturday Night Live and Zero Wing:
All your baseball are been berry, berry good to us. -- Cats Esquela
(me)

"I'm Rei. This is my sister Rei, and this is my other sister Rei."
(Evangelion/Newhart)
(Morganite)

a Sailor Moon/Harry Potter crossover...
(with appropriate "a wizard did it" handwaving)
done at least partially on the basis of what *role* each character fills.
Harry, of course, with the Great Destiny, the Tremendous Power, and the great capacity for friendship, would be Sailor Moon.
"Why am I in a skirt?"
Ron, who does let his emotions get the better of him from time to time, would be Sailor Mars.
"Mate? Why are we in skirts?"
Hermoine's a shoo-in for Mercury
*immediately starts trying to figure out, out loud, why they are in skirts, each possibility presented causing them more and more dismay*.
But that's not all. There are *supporting* characters to consider as well.
McGonagall, the teacher, adviser, and house-mother, fits in neatly as Luna.
"Oh, thank goodness."
Tuxedo Mask - the dashing figure who sets the hearts of the *cough* heroines *cough* aflutter, who stands back that they might fight their own battles, stepping in only when absolutely necessary to deliver a well-aimed blow and a few well-chosen words of encouragement to spur them on to victory? Albus Dumbledore.
"Well, of course."
*Dumbledore shows off his tight-fitting tuxedo*
"Mate...?"
"No, Ron. Don't say it. This isn't real. That's all. It just isn't real."
And, finally, Sailor Pluto - distant, dark, broadly supportive of the protagonist's major goals, but at times brought into oposition. Truly, there could be only one choice.
"Potter, what are you doing in a skirt?"
*Harry lifts his head blearily, and speaks in a voice nearly deadened by successive horrors.*
"Sir? But you're in a skirt, too."
*there is a pause*
"Your powers of perception astound me, Potter - and *that* was my *next* question."
(Sirrocco)

The most loyal minions of the Dark Lord...
The Black Riders that patrol his Kingdom of England...
Chosen by thestrals, granted unique powers by their bond,
They enforce their master's will on muggle and wizard both...
They are...
The Heralds of Voldemort!
(nemonowan)

Heimdall, White-god, of nine mothers, stood watch at the gates of Asgard. Ever-wakeful, ever-watchful, patient as the Yggdrasil.
In the distance came a blurring, came a people to the Bifrost, Still so distant none could see them, marching 'cross the Bifrost bridge.
None could see them, save for Heimdall, he who saw to the worlds-ending. raised to his lips Gjallerhorn. Took a mighty breath to blow.
Still he paused a moment longer, 'fore he summoned forth the war-gods, 'fore he called the slain Einherjar from their revel-slumbers deep.
Eyelids narrowed, vision seeking. Something strange about those coming. Ears could hear no weapons clanking, ears that heard the growing grass.
These were not the host of Giants, Sons of Muspell, gone a-raving. This was not the final battle, marching 'cross the bridge
This indeed was something stranger, men and women, peaceful walking. Holding hands and thoughtful watching, warriors not a one.
At their vanguard, frog and pig strode, seemed the leaders by their actions. Plucked from lips then was Gjallerhorn. Heimdall let them come.
Pig had look of the Valkyrur, Frog had look of manner mild. Frog did quiver 'neath the god-gaze, still drew breath to speak.
"Hi there, I'm Kermit D. Frog, and we're here to make a petition. We want you to change the rules about who gets in heaven."
"Who are you? then thundered Heimdall, "that you would seek change in heaven? Who this host to tell the Aesir we must change our ways."
Shrank then back the little frog, and bristled then with rage his pig-friend. Shrank he back until the sight of allies once more steeled his nerve.
"The lovers, the dreamers and me, but that's not the point." said Kermit. "Making heaven just for warriors is wrong and doesn't work."
"The world's moved on, and warriors aren't as important as they once were. no one tells the Aesir stories, and the dead mostly go to Hel.
"It isn't fair to everyone who's worked hard to make the world better. Gods should be fair and just and true, and right now you're not."
Bristled Heimdall at the statement, but he saw its honest giving. Raised to his brow mighty fingers. Of *those* headaches would this be.
(Sirrocco)

It is a dark and blasphemous tome... Well, all right, it isn't that dark. In fact, it's a pleasant shade of pink (inasmuch as any shade of pink can be described as "pleasant"). But it is blasphemous. Filled with descriptions of Things Man Was Not Meant To Know, But Are Too Damned Cute To Avoid, this text warps its readers in strange and unnatural ways that always involve soft fur, pointed ears, long tails, and a knowledge of Japanese.
It is... the Nekomimicon.
Never open it if you value your sanity, or if you're allergic to cats.
(Rob Kelk)