RE: [IC][WIP][Arc 1] How I Managed to Quit Worrying and Love The Grief Seed
08-11-2021, 06:20 AM (This post was last modified: 08-11-2021, 03:14 PM by Black Aeronaut. Edit Reason: Got someone's name wrong. Fixed now. )
08-11-2021, 06:20 AM (This post was last modified: 08-11-2021, 03:14 PM by Black Aeronaut. Edit Reason: Got someone's name wrong. Fixed now. )
Alright. Take Two.
Less focus on Benjamin. More on the other characters. Lots of material trimmed. Lots of material added.
Chapter 4
When Ben woke up again, Washu was there waiting for him.
“Washu-chan?” he asked groggily.
“No sudden movements,” said the super-genius. “You’re recovering well, but your new physiology is still settling in.”
Ben sighed and laid there, almost in-state. “Washu-chan, I think I have some idea of what happened, but can you tell me anyhow?”
Washu nodded. “One of the things I like about you, Benjamin, is that while you can be very astute sometimes, you’ve learned to verify before jumping to conclusions. Your situation is not unprecedented, but it is unusual. The Masers are very empathetic creatures, and once one or a group of them has accepted someone as their leader, their guiding intelligence, they’ll do whatever they can to help that person.
“Very few people have ever managed to form the sort of partnership you and Squishy had. And even fewer still... Let’s just say that this is very rare.”
Benjamin nodded. “Squishy assimilated itself into me.”
“Yes. It did so because you lost a great deal of bio-mass, your right arm in this case, and Massers are given to fusing and fissioning as needed. More importantly, though, this means that your physiology has been radically altered in order to accommodate your new organ.”
“New organ?”
Washu nodded. “You are now the proud owner of a biological matter-antimatter reactor and fermion inverter.”
“A reactor? So what does this mean for me?”
“Well, short version is that you don’t have to worry much about excess calories. In fact, you’re going to want to up your caloric intake to at least four-thousand k-cals a day. Preferably five-thousand if you can manage it. Reason being is that these calories are going to be fed into the fermion inverter.”
“Hang on... You mean to say I have an antimatter generator?”
“Converter. Your fermion inverter inverts the the characteristics of the subatomic particles in existing matter.”
“Right. So how much are we talking here?”
“Not much. About one milligram per day.”
Ben’s eyebrows went up at that. “Isn’t that actually a helluva lot?”
“By your standards? Yes. But for the Massers it’s business as usual. In fact, it was because of them that antimatter became such a viable source of energy. Working out their process was one of my first papers.”
“Hence why you got an aquarium full of the little guys.”
“Exactly. Now, since I know you’re curious, I’ll go ahead and give you the reader’s digest version.
“The system operates at two levels of output: restocking and maintenance. I don’t think I have to explain what that means to you. Your organ will keep up to one microgram of antiwater in stock. This is for the purposes of providing your means of self-defense as well as a fuel bunker. What you did earlier today is that you expended ten micrograms of heavy-antiwater arranged in a packet of neutral matter with ten micrograms of heavy-water.”
“Question?”
“Yes?”
“Isn’t just two or three thousand extra calories kinda lowballing it? I mean, there’s no way that equates to that kind of energy output.”
“You’d be right if you were looking at it from the perspective generating antimatter. Now, flipping around the characteristics of existing matter, that’s a whole different ballgame. It’s still an energy intensive process, but the Masu have evolved to make it efficient enough that you can keep up with only moderate changes to your diet. And don’t pretend that I haven’t seen you eat. You sure you don’t have a black hole hiding in that stomach of yours?”
“Har-dee-har. Can’t help it if I have a fast metabolism. Even now that I’m coming up on forty years it hasn’t let up a whole lot.”
“Yes, well, lucky draw from the genetic deck and all. Any other questions?”
“Yes. What do my guts look like now?”
“I’ll show you.” With that, a hologram depicting Ben in the nude resolved. Suddenly, the skin faded out, and then the musculature, and finally the ribs.
Everything seemed relatively normal, except that there was a roundish mass over his right lung, just opposite of his heart. There was a small, dull red glow from inside it, and it looked like it was fed directly by the pulmonary veins. There was also some other vessel that went up to his right arm and ran all the way down to his hand.
“This is your new M/A Reactor Organ. It has four quadrants, much like your heart does. The lower left quadrant has your fermion inverter, while the upper left is the reactor itself. Your lower-right quadrant is your fuel storage and the upper right is a sort of preprocessing system that arranges the antiwater and water in neutral matter packets in such a way that you get the most efficient particle annihilation possible.”
“Question?”
“Yes?”
“How will my physiology be making use of an M/A reactor anyhow?”
Washu gestured to the hologram and everything faded out expect for the brain and nervous system.
“Notice anything different?”
“No I... wait.” Ben looked more carefully at where the M/A organ would be and there was a thick tendril feeding into a knot of nerves there, nearly half the thickness of the spinal nerve. This nerve, as it reached towards the spinal nerve, branched out into seven nerves, each one feeding into the spine. “That... is an awfully big nerve to be feeding into just that one organ.”
“Exactly. It’s not really obvious from this picture, but your entire nervous system has been altered by Squishy to rely entirely on electrical synapses instead of biochemical synapses. And on top of that, they’re further modified to handle heavy loads. Your M/A organ is basically acting as a gain amplifier to give your muscles little extra kick. Though I wouldn’t go grabbing any powerlines - that will still send your heart into fibrillation.”
“Okay, got it. But even with that boost, can my muscles actually handle it?”
Washu nodded. “They can, now. Squishy has increased your muscle density by five times. This is also part of why you need to up your calorie intake as your metabolism will have been adjusted to fit. You won’t notice it right away, but in a few days you should feel very light on your feet. But in order to gain access to all of it, you still need a training regimen. That won’t be an issue for you, though, because you’ve also gained a certain degree of regenerative healing. It’s not anything really special, but you can recover from the worst injuries in a few days as long as you’re resting. With that, you’ll be able to recover from a high-intensity workout by the time you get through the cooldown. It’s also why you’re awake this soon.
“Thus, you seem to be doing just fine, now. Your injuries are healing at a pace that isn’t overtaxing your body. But even so, I’ll need to begin your treatments right away. While Squishy has fused itself into you, that doesn’t mean it has altered your genetic make up. Your condition is very unstable right now.”
“So I guess this is where you knock me out, huh?”
“Pretty much,” said Washu-chan.
“Alright, hit me and let’s get it over with.”
“Will do, but just so you know, this will take several treatments. But don’t worry, I’ll give you some time between each one to get things done. Goodnight, Benjamin.”
A holoscreen appeared before Washu and she pushed a single button. And just like that, Ben was out like a light.
Minutes later, Washu walked out of her ICU and into the waiting area. There, everyone was, of course, waiting.
She smiled at the sight.
She hadn’t been stretching the truth at all: Benjamin was someone she had come to like. He was a good person and had done whatever he could to see to other people’s needs. Granted, a lot of that meant that he had to rely on Washu and her facilities, but she didn’t mind. Even if Ben couldn’t repay her directly, she could sense his appreciation.
He deserved better than what he got in his life.
But now?
Things had changed. All of these people - all of them having incredible power or remarkable skills and talents - were here waiting to learn about his well being.
And not just the Residents of the Westwoods Apartments, but also the people from the Blossom Apartments - Rob Donaldson, the Sailor Senshi, and the Academy City students. Even Accelerator was there, though only because Last Order had dragged him in. He would only grudgingly admit to having misjudged Ben’s character for having the balls to do something like going up against a superior foe like Vita. They had all shown up soon after the dimensional barrier tripped the Good Neighbor System, and then stayed once they’d heard Benjamin had been hurt.
All because he was Brother Ben.
Not “Onii-san” or “Otouto”.
He would accept it, for certain, and even with a smile.
But at the end of the day? He was simply everyone’s brother. Always there to help, to guide, to support in whatever way he could.
He was family.
And because of that, everyone had now taken him in as family in return, and it made Washu smile to see that.
“He’s going to be just fine,” she announced proudly, and everyone sighed in relief as the tension bled from the room like a relief valve had finally been opened, giving everyone present the chance to breathe easy at last. “Really, there was no question about it. He was just a bit banged up. The real issue was that his pet Masser assimilated itself into him.”
That brought sobriety crashing back into the group.
“Wait, that’s what happened!?” said Rob in surprise.
Washu nodded. “That explosion was a very small uncontrolled matter-antimatter annihilation. After the assimilation took place, Benjamin’s emotional state was elevated to the point where his new physiology took over. Rather, you could say that Squishy was still there in a ways and did the hard part for him. By now though? It’s mind, such as it was, has been completely subsumed by Benjamin’s. As a result, Ben will have some intuitive control over his new abilities, but he’ll still need time to practice them.”
“Christ,” said Kurtz. “I almost feel bad for whoever was on the receiving end of THAT!”
“Don’t be,” said a strong voice. All eyes turned to the elderly-but-hale man, a woman in a uniform with green hair and eyes, two felinoid familiars, a boy wearing black hobnailed armor, a girl in a uniform with an absolutely unruly cowlick, and a younger girl in a wheelchair. They all stood together at the opposite end of the room. Gil Graham continued, “If that was Vita he took out, then she only got what was coming to her for picking on someone like Benjamin.”
“Mr. Graham!” said Hayate in shock and dismay.
“Hayate,” said Lindsey, placing a comforting hand on Hayate’s shoulder. “It’s true. While you may be used to the concept of mass-based weaponry here on Unad- …here on Earth, they are quite rare among magic-using societies like ours and the Belkans. The moment Vita noticed that he was using mass weapons should have been the moment where she started using far more caution.”
“But I don’t understand,” said Hayate. “What is the difference?”
“Mass-based weapons do only one thing, Hayate,” said Aria quietly. “They kill people. Nothing more. Nothing less.”
Liese nodded in agreement. “Magic, on the other hand, can easily be made to be non-lethal. It is very rare to hear that someone has been killed with magic, and when it does happen, it can be taken that someone did it intentionally.”
“Indeed,” said Gil heavily. “If he was using a mass weapon against Vita… I do wonder what would push him so far so quickly.”
“Alicia,” said Sasami, stepping forward. “They said they were after Fate and Alicia.”
“Alright,” said Lindsey, “I could understand that he’d want to protect Fate, but who is Alicia?” Lindsey suddenly blinked as the name finally connected. “Wait, isn’t that the name of the girl that Fate was cloned from?”
Sasami nodded. “When Precia came back, we managed to save Alicia’s capsule. Washu-chan couldn’t revive her… So Benjamin made a deal with The Daimakaichou.”
“Good Lord!” said Gil with an almost strangled sounding voice. “He really made a deal with the Devil!? And just for that little girl!?”
“It was more than that,” said Usagi. “He did it because he couldn’t stand it. He didn’t want to see Fate cry again for her sister. His heart couldn’t bear to see her hurt anymore after what she has been through.”
“I wasn’t there for it when Ben got started,” said Rob soberly. “But to hear the others… He was like a man possessed. And I believe that, too, because he got Hild herself to make a contract that was as straight-forward as possible, given what was on the line. You should have seen it - the legalese itself was almost like a work of art.” He then scoffed in dry amusement. “It probably is, too, now that I think of it. That damned contract — that literally damned contract — belongs in a museum.”
“What he did today,” said Rei quietly. “He put his life on the line. Even though he had no idea what was going on for certain.” Rei sighed before she went on. “I have these memories now because this Maleable Causality System has changed things. He was another person. My younger brother. And even though he was younger than me, he was always there for me, no matter what. Whether it was bullies or even my own father, he always stood up for me. He always had my back. I never even needed to question it. Whatever happened, he was there. And that is exactly the kind of person he is now.”
Lindy and Gill looked to each other, and they knew right away that they were dealing with a person to be reckoned with.
“So, he’s that sort of person then,” said Gil thoughtfully. “I think I’m rather looking forward to meeting this chap.”
“Washu-chan,” said Tenchi. “What about… the Masser? Is Benjamin going to be okay?”
“He will be. He just needs time to adjust and fully assimilate his new physiology. He’ll need a bit of help, though.”
“What do you mean, Washu-chan?” asked Aeka. “When Ryo-Ohki assimilated all those massers, all we had to do was make new clothes for her.”
Washu nodded. “And that’s true. Ryo-Ohki needed no further help because her physical make-up is actually based on the massers. But Benjamin is a human. As he is right now, he’s more of a chimera.”
“Chimera?” said Kaname. “You mean… he’s like some weird mash up now?”
Washu nodded. “Exactly. Right now, he has all of his original cells… but he now has cells from Squishy scattered throughout his body. It’s only because of the masser’s ability to adapt that his body isn’t rejecting them. But leaving him in that state could prove harmful in the long run. He is going to require a full course of treatments in order to blend his genetic structure with that of the masser’s. This will effectively make him more like Ryouko, though far less powerful.”
Mihoshi giggled. “Ryouko has a new brother!”
Ryouko grumbled at that. “Not like I mind the idea, but please don’t.”
There strained faces at that as people only managed to succeed in not laughing. Aeka, though, placed a comforting hand on Ryouko’s shoulder, and Ryouko responded with a wan smile.
After all, they’ve had time now to get used to the idea that they were going to be sisters in all but blood.
“Everybody needs a sibling, Niiko Misaka opines.”
Ryouko gave her a sharp look. “That's easy to say when you've always had one. And from what Ben told me, his siblings weren't the best in the bunch — I don't want him thinking of me that way.”
“He will not, Niiko Misaka asserts. Niiko continues, If it is someone he chooses to be his family, then it is because he loves and cares for them. Niiko Misaka knows this… because even though Niiko Misaka is a clone, Mikoto Misaka has accepted us as sisters.”
Ryouko nearly blanched at that because in a certain sense, she herself was a clone of Washu. And Niiko had clearly made that distinction just then: If I — who is a clone — can be adopted into a family, then you — who is also a clone — can be, too.
Washu smiled warmly at the gesture, but then sobered as her focus shifted to Alyssa.
“As for you, young miss.”
Alyssa gulped. “But… I didn’t do anything wrong!”
Washu sighed. “No, you didn’t. And really, that’s our fault. Jeeze, Ben is gonna practically kill himself when he hears about this.”
That got everyone’s undivided attention.
“Washu-chan?” said Teletha in a deeply worried tone. “What happened?”
Sasami answered before Washu could gather the druthers for it.
“A Kyubey - an Incubator - found Alyssa and she made a contract with it. She’s a Puella Magi now.”
With that pronouncement, there was a collective outpouring of horrified gasps and despaired exclamations.
“What’s all this then?” said Gil Graham in mild confusion. “Are you saying that someone made this little girl into a mage?”
“Were it so simple,” said Rob in a tone of voice that sounded like it could crush diamonds. “These… THINGS go around masquerading as cute animals. They get girls like Alyssa here to make a wish. In return for that wish, they become magical girls, contracted to fight witches.”
Lindy blinked as she digested that. “That… does sound bad, but a lot of our own mages start at the academy at Alyssa’s age.”
“Oh, that is literally not even the half of it, though,” said Rob. “Alyssa, show them your soul gem.”
Alyssa began to quail, though. “Am… am I in trouble?”
Usagi, though, loving spirit that she was, knelt down in front of Alyssa.
“Alyssa, I won’t lie. You are in terrible danger now. But we’re not angry at you. We’re more angry at ourselves for forgetting to warn you about Kyubey. Do you understand, sweetheart?”
Alyssa nodded, then reached into her pocket and pulled out the beautiful green gemstone that held her very soul within it.
Immediately, Lindy Harlaown’s device made an urgent sounding two-note squawk.
“WARNING! UNREGISTERED PHYLACTERY DETECTED!”
The eyes in the faces of everyone in the TSAB contingent all widened in horror. Except for Hayate - she was simply confused, but she held her peace for the moment knowing that an explanation would be forthcoming.
“Sweet merciful God in Heaven,” breathed Gil.
“It gets worse,” said Rob. “That phylactery is also, as Ben once said, a mana reactor without a tailpipe. Any time she uses magic, she’s slowly poisoning her soul. Even just living right now is slowly building up corruption because it’s her magic that’s maintaining the link between the soul gem and her body.”
“Why in hell would someone do something like that!?” cried out Lindy in horror.
“These Incubators,” said Washu, “are obviously not what they appear. In fact, they are mere constructs built to deceive by omitting as much truth as they can get away with. Their masters, through the Incubators, harvest the negative energy in order to power their society.”
“But why would they do that?” cried out Aria.
“They say that they’re doing it to stave off the heat death of the universe,” said Rob. “It’s a bunch of bullshit if you ask me. To make anything even remotely resembling a dent in that kind of entropy, you’d have to have every intelligent species in the universe hooked into that system. Whoever these people are, they’re an entire civilization of sociopaths.”
“But… What happens to these girls?” asked Liesse.
Rob sighed. “Some of them manage to survive by farming witches for their grief seeds. Puella Magi can use these to siphon corruption out of their soul gems and then give them to their Kyubey to dispose of. But most others… they fall into despair… and then become witches themselves.”
Everyone was silent for a moment, processing that information and steadily feeling as though the horror was something tangible, sucking them deeper and deeper into it like quick sand.
Gil Graham broke the spell.
“My God in Heaven. They’re right proper monsters, the lot of them!”
“But what can we do about Alyssa?” wondered Liesse aloud.
Aria nodded her head thoughtfully. “Phylacteries are not well understood. The ones we do tend to find… they’re empty shells by the time we find them, so we have no idea how they work. Thus, they’re considered Lost Logia by the TSAB.”
“Well then, we’re in luck,” chirped Washu brightly, catching people by surprise with her sudden shift in mood. “Not only do we have Alyssa’s Soul Gem, but we also have another, properly engineered, functioning phylactery to study, as well as the people that designed and created them!”
Gil blanched at that. “I hope that this doesn’t become common knowledge, otherwise there’s no end to the trouble that might cause when people start trying to live forever!”
“Pffft,” said Washu derisively. “Buddy, if they need a phylactery to be immortal, then they’re doing it wrong. I should know - I’ve been around for thousands of years and I haven’t had to replace this body even once.” She then looked elsewhere nervously as she more quietly added, “Not that there hasn’t been a close call or two… or maybe even three.”
There were a few sputtering giggles at that from people that understood all too well the sorts of reasons why Washu would wind in that sort of situation.
“Anyhow!” chirped the tiny mad genius. “Ben has already made it so that if he’s ever out of commission that I can act in his stead. That said, everyone relax. New guys, I’ll get you some apartments in a few minutes, but first I need to make some phone calls.”
Fretfully, Nanoha watched as Benjamin floated in the medical-nanite bath. She felt nervous and alone, seeing him like that.
Nanoha Takamachi is a strong girl. While she didn’t make much of a big deal out of it, it was something that she privately prided herself on.
In that way, she is very much Japanese. She thought a great many things, but she kept these things mostly to herself. The only person she ever talked to about her inner-most demons was Fate, and even with her Nanoha was slow in coming out of her own shell.
It had only been recently when she met Benjamin when that really began to change. While Fate and Nanoha were already close indeed, Benjamin gave her a sense of acceptance and trust. He knew her deepest fears, and he accepted that. Not as something to be ashamed of, but something that was a part of her.
At first, it had confounded her. How could someone accept the negative aspects of someone’s personality? But Benjamin had helped her there as well — had explained that true acceptance meant that you accept a person as a whole, even the bad parts, because it is also those bad parts that make a person who they are. Not just the good, but the bad as well.
Once Nanoha understood this, it resonated sharply because she had the sudden epiphany that this was exactly how she felt about Fate. Fate had some bad parts… but despite that, Nanoha had not only accepted her, but even gone out of her way to save her.
And this had only served to draw her even closer to Benjamin. Because, like her with Fate, Benjamin had accepted her completely. And the feeling that gave her was something she wanted to wrap herself up in.
In fact, having them both hold her at the same time was a sensation that was almost intoxicating — the sheer amount of calm, blissful contentment it gave her made her feel like everything else ceased to matter. So long as she could have this feeling, then all was well.
Right then, though, she was as far from that feeling as she could possibly be. Benjamin had been hurt. Mortally wounded and placed in grave peril. Only the quick action of his pet Masser had saved his life.
Anxiety is not a rational thing. No matter the outcome, it will seize on the most negative aspects of a situation and not let go. The simple fact that Benjamin had been in that kind of danger had ratcheted Nanoha’s anxieties to a level she had only felt at one other time in her life.
There was a touch at her shoulder. Nanoha barely registered it at first until she heard a voice that brought the rest of the world back into focus.
“Nanoha?”
“Feito-chan!” she said in surprise — not at her friend’s sudden presence, but at the shock of being caught in such a state. It was absolutely embarrassing to her Japanese sensibility of maintaining her facade.
“You don’t need to hide it,” said Fate. “I know. I’m worried about him, too.”
That was the last straw. With that, the despair, worry, and sadness finally overwhelmed the levies she had worked so hard to build in her psyche.
Externally, it was a slow build-up as the tears began to well up in her eyes, her lips trembled, and her voice began to leak out despite her best effort to keep it contained. But it was all for naught.
Fate received Nanoha with open arms as the girl began bawling. She knew all too painfully well how much it hurt to keep that kind of sadness bottled up inside. As she gently stroked the back of Nanoha’s head, she thought about how broken-up her most treasured friend must be feeling — that Benjamin had such a close brush with death, and all while Nanoha had been nowhere near enough to help him.
Failure.
That was something she could relate to. The illusion that you had somehow failed in some terrible way. That you weren’t good enough.
That was their common denominator. Each of them, Nanoha, Benjamin, and Fate, had felt like they would never be good enough. And while Nanoha was the least damaged of the three of them, she still felt it. She still let it drive her actions. Granted, part of that had resulted in Fate being rescued from Precia’s insanity, but it still meant that Nanoha had her own demons to conquer, just as Fate and Benjamin did.
A song that Benjamin had shared with her earlier in the week came to mind, and almost without thinking, Fate began to softly sing the words in Nanoha’s ear.
Well it's good to know that you'll be okay
I've been waiting for this
And I'll be there to sit while you pray
And no one's blaming me
I'm not supposed to waaaaaaiiiiiit
When they open up your heaaaaarrrt
I'll wait
I have been good
I understood
Like a machine they'll fix you from the start
I'm in repair
The life that we share
I know that I'll be lost in
But we're always in repair
And it's good to know that you'll drive away
From this car crash nightmare
And I'll be there to help you again
And there's no danger
We're just killing time agaaaaiiiin
While they order up new paaaaaarrrts
I'll wait!
I have been good!
I understood!
Like a machine they'll fix you from the start
I'm in repair
The life that we share
I know that I'll be lost in
But we're always in repair
Nanoha’s sobs quickly ceased once Fate began to sing the song, oh so gently into her ear. She was utterly transfixed because she had never heard Fate sing before. But now that she had…
Nanoha had never realized that she had such a sweet and beautiful sounding voice. Just hearing it was enough to still her rampaging emotions. But the words themselves struck a chord as well. The message in there was clear. That no matter what may happen, Fate will always be at her side.
Fate didn’t bother finishing the song. The important parts had been said already. She simply held Nanoha with the thought in mind: We’re all broken some way or another. We’re always in repair. But that was alright, because no one is perfect. It was simply enough to be there for one another and love each other.
From Ben’s perspective, it had all been so very sudden. One moment Washu had been saying goodnight to him, the next he found himself in another hospital bed… and that Fate and Nanoha had climbed into the bed with him — one to either side, sleeping on top of the bed covers and curled up at his sides. Apparently, this wasn’t some off-the-cuff thing because the bed had been made wide enough to accommodate them all in comfort.
“Oh good, you’re awake,” came Washu’s voice. Ben looked up and saw that she was poking her head in through the door. She continued as she entered the room, “Well, that little fireworks show from earlier caught someone’s attention and they came a-knocking. I was going to ignore them up until they said they were from the TSAB.”
Ben straightened up at that.
“They want to talk? Now?”
“If you don’t mind.”
Ben shrugged. “I guess it can’t hurt.”
Washu nodded and then waved someone in. That someone was a woman somewhat unruly mint-green hair in a ponytail, mint-green eyes, and markings in the same color on her forehead - four bisected triangles in a diamond pattern with their apexes pointing toward the center.
Admiral Lindy Harlaown.
She stopped nearly in mid-stride, eying the tableau before her with some confusion. Right away, Ben knew he was in trouble and vitriolically cursed himself for not asking exactly who it was before Washu let them in.
Lindy’s face hardened as she said, “Well, you look comfortable.”
Ben almost snorted despite himself. “I was lucky. It’s not every day you can tank a shot from Graf Eisen and still walk away intact.”
That stalled whatever tirade Lindy was about to go on as her expression suddenly shifted from ire to shock.
“You took a straight-on blow from Vita?”
“Not like I intended it,” said Ben with a shrug. “I was on my way out when she tagged me.”
Lindy blinked. “That’s not like her. What did you do to deserve that?”
“I nailed her in the face with a 12.7 millimeter round from an anti-material cartridge.”
Lindy now goggled at Ben. She had heard that Ben was using a mass weapon, but no one said anything about anti-material weapons. The very idea - even if it was one of the Wolkenritter - was pure overkill by Lindy’s reckoning.
“What were you thinking!?”
“He was thinking of me,” said Fate softly as she began to stir, then gave Lindy a gentle smile. “Hello Admiral Harlaown.”
“Fate! What are you doing with this man?”
Her smile faded and Fate regarded the Admiral placidly.
“Benjamin is very important to me. He’s a lot like me because of what he’s experienced.”
“What he’s experienced?” asked Lindsy.
“Yes. He knows what it’s like. To struggle in vain to try to please someone who won’t ever be pleased. To always be afraid. To be hurt by family. It was so bad for him that it still haunts him even now. For that, he understands me.
“But more than that… He made the impossible happen. He brought Alicia back.”
“Yes, I heard about that, but-”
“LEAVE BIG BROTHER ALONE!”
Lindy could only look on in shock as a miniature version of Fate suddenly dashed in from behind her and interposed herself between Lindy and Ben, hands on her hips, chest thrust outward, and a solid hundred-watt glare on her little face.
“How did you make this happen?” asked the Admiral. “I know that you made some kind of deal with Hild-sama, but no one told me the details.”
Ben tilted his head slightly and said, “What would you give to see Fate happy?”
“I… I have no idea. Not something like this. I never thought it was even possible.”
“That’s the difference between you and me, Admiral. I ascribe to James T. Kirk’s maxim: I don’t believe in no-win scenarios.”
“Who?”
“Quite possibly one of the greatest starship captains there ever was.”
“Right… But this.... I...” Lindy stopped, took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. “I understand that you would want to help them,” she said. “I really do. But what in the world would make you go that far?”
Benjamin sighed and leaned back into his bed, as though recalling past events in order to tell a story.
This wasn’t far off from the truth.
“There is so much that has been denied me, Admiral, and so much that has been taken away. To give Fate and Alicia something so dear and so precious, I would set myself on fire and give everything that I am and ever would be.
“The girls tell me otherwise, but life has taught me how little I matter to the world at large. It cares not for the likes of me and will gladly grind me to pieces within its gears with nary a sign of effort.”
Benjamin then looked the woman in the eyes. It was not a scowl, but the look in his eyes was so intense that it might as well have been one.
“How do I make a difference in such a world, Admiral?”
Lindy knew very well what he meant. This world that she had found herself in was utterly antithetical to idealists.
“You set yourself on fire,” she said with a resigned regretfulness in her voice, “to light the way for others.”
“Don’t say such things,” said Nanoha as she stirred and wrapped her arms around his neck. “You’re worth so much more than that! Alicia is proof of that.”
“You too, Nanoha!?” said Lindy in shock.
“Unh,” replied the Takamachi girl with a nod of her head. “I know it’s strange, but the very first moment I saw him… I knew that Benjamin was special. Just like Fate is. He is very strong, but he’s been hurt so much — it makes me sad to even think about it. But he is such a kind person, even though he would be justified in being angry and bitter at the entire world. I don’t know of anyone that is that strong. Not even my father or my brother could be what Benjamin is, and they are some of the kindest men I know.”
Lindy looked between all four of them and was confronted by resolute stares.
“I can’t do this right now,” she said with a sigh. “But rest assured, we will have words about this matter later.”
With that, Lindy left. Ben looked to Nanoha and Fate, who both only shrugged helplessly as Alicia joined them at their bedside.
Ben sighed. “First Kaname, now Admiral Harlaown.”
“We already said that we’re going to wait,” said Fate.
“I know, Fate,” said Ben heavily. “But for a lot of people, that won’t matter at all. They’ll simply label me as a pervert and a monster.”
“That’s a lie!” said Alicia suddenly. “Big brother is a good person. I know he’d never do anything to hurt any of us.”
“But that’s the thing, Alicia,” said Ben gently. “They don’t want to see the truth. They only see what they want to see.”
“But the Admiral,” said Fate with worry, “why would she be like that?”
“Because she cares about you,” said Benjamin. “She knows you’ve been through a lot, so she feels like she has to protect you. It’s not really her fault. She’s just in Mother Bear mode. And with good reason, too. Admiral Harlaown… she was supposed to adopt you. Your name is supposed to be Fate T. Harlaown by now.”
Fate made a pensive expression at that. “I… I know about that. We had talked about it before all… of this happened.” She then looked Ben in the eyes with a sad smile. “But as thankful as I am to the Admiral, I think Fate Testarossa-Rhodes sounds better.”
Ben scoffed, both amused and bemused. “Damn, girl. You don’t pull your punches much, do you?”
“I never have. Not when I have had to fight so hard. My life… it may have been short so far, but it has been a constant battle. But if this is what it takes for me to be happy, then I am prepared to keep on fighting.”
“That’s enough serious talk for you three,” came Washu’s voice from the door, drawing everyone’s attention. “The other girls are putting together a sleep-over with Alyssa. You should go and join them now. Besides, there’s things Benjamin needs to take care of.”
“Alright then,” said Fate with an air of diplomacy. “We’ll go.”
Nanoha and Fate then slid off the sides of the bed and turned to go, but Fate turned back one last time, pulling the others up short with her.
“We love you very much, Benjamin. And we know what it means to you. We’re willing to be patient. We’re willing to fight. We’re willing to be your family.”
With that, the three left the room, leaving only Ben and Washu together.
Once Ben was sure they were out of earshot, though, he finally let the burning tears come.
“God dammit all,” he cursed softly. “Why the hell does it have to be this way? They’re only children! And I’ve done everything I can without saying ‘No’ outright!”
“It’s alright, Benjamin,” said Washu as she placed a comforting hand on his arm. “I understand. Believe it or not, I myself find it a bit strange. Granted, having a crush at their age is perfectly normal. But after everything that’s happened so far… normally a girl would have reevaluated her feelings long ago. But those two continue to double-down each and every time. Not that I can’t see why. Nothing they’ve said so far is a lie. But you would think that they would be at least a little bit frightened. And yet, the only thing that frightens them is losing you.”
“It’s frightening me!” said Ben. “I mean… I do want what they want. For us to be a family. And I just… I just can’t say no to that! So either way I would be out of my goddamned mind. I can’t say no because I want it so much, but saying yes makes me out to be a child predator!”
Washu sighed at that because it was the truth. There was only one thing she could say.
“Then maybe you should consider Princess Aeka’s offer instead.”
Ben closed his eyes and sighed, saying only one name. “Vivio Takamachi.”
“I’m not sure who that is,” said Washu.
“She is the girl that Nanoha rescues and adopts as her own child later on when she’s an adult. A very special girl. And if Nanoha isn’t there? Then that poor girl will have a very miserable life, spent as a living command and control unit of an interdimensional starship under the whims of a mad man.”
“… Oh.” That was all Washu had to say on the matter, for it truly was a conundrum. Messing with space and time was one thing. Washu could do it so easily that she had been barred from doing so by the Galaxy Alliance. But breaching the boundaries between universes… that had supposedly been what started this whole mess in the first place.
And yet, she had her doubts about that. Something about it wasn’t lining up quite right, but for the life of her, Washu couldn’t quite put her finger on it, whatever it was.
Ben, for his part sighed and contemplated a terrible idea.
“Maybe we should erase their memories.”
“WHAT!?” cried out Washu, because for her this came so far out of left field that it defied all logic.
“Just… so they don’t remember me. So I don’t have to break their hearts. So they can go on and live…” Benjamin scoffed. “Well, whatever the hell counts as a normal life for those two.”
“Benjamin Michael Rhodes, that is horrible and you know it!”
“Well of course I know it!” he growled back. “Since when has my life been anything but horrible!?”
Washu looked somewhat hurt by that. “…I would have hoped that would be when we came into your life.”
His tears came once again, burning at his eyes as they welled over.
“No. I am your caretaker. Your custodian. And I have no business being part of your lives. And that should go especially so for Nanoha and Fate.”
“Even after what you did for Alicia?”
A beat. “Yes. Because after that I should have washed my hands of them and let them go live their lives.”
“But you can’t do that,” said Washu. “Alicia is depending on you now.”
“And that’s why I should have had Nanoha or Fate — maybe even both — take on the role that I’m filling now. I’m such a huge fucking moron for making that mistake.”
“DON’T SAY THAT!” yelled Washu suddenly. “NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN! THOSE THINGS HE TOLD YOU WERE LIES! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! YOU’RE INTELLIGENT! YOU’RE INSIGHTFUL! YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL! EVEN IF YOU CAN’T WRITE POETRY, YOU STILL HAVE A POET’S SOUL!”
“…what use is any of that when all life does is invalidate my efforts?”
“Your efforts do matter!” cried out Washu. She then said and said, “You keep working so hard for our sakes, Benjamin. You have the right to be happy. And even though this thing with Nanoha and Fate is strange, if it makes you happy, then I want to help you three out any way I can.”
His tears kept flowing because it hurt. It hurt so much to know that someone cared for him that much. That they wanted him to be happy. So much that they would scream and rant and rave at him about it.
It wasn’t the idea that someone cared about him that hurt, though. It was more the idea of why they couldn’t have come for him when he still could have been saved. When he had first began to desire escape.
But that wasn’t her fault. It was just life being unfair, as usual. And so, it hurt.
“You need to get up,” said Washu at last. “The others are waiting for you up in your apartment. They want to talk about what happens next.”
Ben nodded his head sullenly. No time for regrets. No time for his feelings. No time for him.
It was time to go to work.
In Ben’s living room, what he had taken to calling the Senior Council was sitting around his coffee table as a pot of tea and a carafe of coffee slowly cooled. Washu, Noike, Teletha, Peorth, and Marlr. This time they were joined by Gil Graham and Admiral Harlaown.
Ben had been assured by Washu and Noike that the Midchildan would be keeping things professional. Any talk about his relationship with Fate and Nanoha was strictly forbidden.
“Sunuva fucking bitch, I really fucked up,” said Ben morosely as he palmed his face with both hands.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Benjamin,” said Marlr. “God knows we all make mistakes. Even the Megami mess up sometimes.”
“This isn’t a mistake I should have made. I mean, how the hell do I make up for this? Her parents could ask for my head and as far as I’m concerned, they’d be within their rights!”
“They won’t,” said Peorth, gently but firmly. “They’re not the type of people that do that sort of thing. They’re very well aware of the fact that as of late, danger has been lurking in the shadows. They will know that it was not your fault that the Incubators had targeted little Alyssa.”
Ben grumbled impotently as he felt himself deflate with resignation.
“Alright. Fine. Whatever. I’ll burn that bridge when I get to it. What are we doing for Alyssa right now?”
Peorth wanted to say something about his passive-aggressive attitude, but Marlr put a hand to her shoulder. Looking to the Demoness, Peorth saw her shaking her head in the negative with a deeply concerned look in her eyes. Any other day, Peorth might have shrugged that off…
…But these days as of late have been far from ordinary.
Peorth nodded her head, signaling that she understood. Better to let it go for now - confronting him right away would only rile Benjamin even more.
“We have her in my Lab,” said Washu. “Of course she’s not alone there. All the girls have put together a sleep-over to cheer her up. They didn’t want her to feel alone.”
Ben sighed. “Good. That’s… I really mean it, that’s great. Keeping her spirits up will help slow the corruption process. So, making her a phylactery to take the place of her Soul Gem. Can it be done?”
“It can,” said Washu with a nod of her head. “But the tricky part will actually be moving her soul. We’ll need Usagi’s help for that, but…” Washu then looked to Peorth and Marlr.
“As the girl is still alive,” said Marlr with a mildly aloof tone, “it’s out of our hands. The Megami may lend a hand with they wish to.”
Peorth shook her head. “It’s as Marlr said. Besides, with us needing to devote so much resources to restoring the Yggdrasil/Nidhog system, it would be best if you handle the things you can handle without our direct assistance. Marlr and I are only here right now because the Daimakaichou and The Almighty want us to report on whats going on. Keep in mind, this isn’t a negative reflection on your performance here. It’s more that the situation has become elevated to such a degree that it warrants attention.
“Make no mistake about it, Benjamin: The Incubators and their masters are of grave concern to both the Heavenly and Infernal sides. Even in an ideal situation, we would not be taking them any less seriously.”
Ben started to draw himself together. There were things that needed to be done, and they had to be done, like yesterday even.
“Alright then,” he said. “We’ll table Alyssa’s issue for later, as that can keep for a bit. We need to do something about the Wolkenritter.”
“Normally that would be where I would supply some useful information,” said the Admiral from her side of the room. “However, with such a radical alteration of their behavior, I cannot even begin to suss out their motives.”
Noike nodded her head. “You mean how they were targeting Fate and Alicia.”
“Exactly. Really, unless we find out who is pulling their strings, then even if we eliminate them, they can be respawned again and again.”
“This is part of what made the Book of Darkness such a terrible thing,” said Gil. “Those poor people… Despite being magical constructs, they’re sophonts in every sense of the word. And yet they’re forced to live out this brutal existence, serving one master after another. The only blessing is that they have no real recall of their experiences with previous masters.”
Teletha chimed in a thoughtful look on her face.
“So, the question is: who would want them killed?” Suddenly her expression shifted to one of realization. “A FAMILIAR!”
Everyone else blinked in confusion, but Washu caught on right away.
“Are you sure of that?” asked Washu.
“I’m positive. You saw it yourself, Benjamin - that the Fate clones all started to turn into familiars once Precia became a witch.”
“Yeah, that’s right,” said Ben, his expression still puzzled. “You think one or two got out? But if that’s the case, then why this?”
“The one thing Fate wanted the most in the entire universe,” said Teletha, “was to be acknowledge and loved by her mother. If one of those familiars matured into a witch, a being which is comprised of nothing but negative emotions, then that longing becomes something evil. Such as seeing Fate and Alicia as competition for her mother’s affections.”
Everyone was stunned into silence as it all rung true.
“Hooohhh-leeee-shit,” said Ben. “That’s… That makes sense. A horrible, fucked-up sense, but yeah.” He then shook his head in wonder. “Now I’d just like to know how the hell it got ahold of the Book of Darkness, but I guess that doesn’t really matter now.”
“Indeed,” said Noike. “For now, let’s focus on how we’re going to defuse this ticking time bomb. Mr. Graham? Admiral Harlaown? You’re the ones with the most familiarity with the Wolkenritter and the Book. We’ll gladly defer to your expertise in this matter.”
“Thank you, Noike,” said Admiral Harlaown. “We’ve actually been thinking about that, and Hayate has informed us that she left a back door that will grant her and her alone access into the Book, just in case anything went wrong. She’s absolutely certain that the Ultimate Defense Program doesn’t know about it since it has only recently reconstituted itself.”
“That’s remarkable!” said Washu in surprise. “She managed to do that without upsetting the checksums? She must be one hell of a natural at coding to pull that off.”
“But wasn’t that just because she named it,” asked Ben. “As I recall, when it comes to magic, naming a thing gives a person incredible power over it.”
“The same applies to computers,” said Teletha sagely. “If you’re able to gain enough access to start renaming everything, then you pretty much have full administrative access. And supposedly, this so-called Book of Darkness is really just a strange operating system that manipulates and is powered by magic. If that’s the case, then Washu-chan is absolutely right.”
Ben nodded at that. Midchildan and Belkan magic systems were interesting in that way. They were highly agnostic systems of magic where there was very little bullshit going on. Everything was quantified and understood through the scientific process, and their version of modern spell making had much more in common with programming languages. Ben wouldn’t be surprised if most applications of magic on Midchilda actually were considered to be engineering disciplines.
Lindy nodded sagely. “It’s part of why I was sponsoring her afterward. Her mage potential is phenomenal - even more so than Nanoha’s. Her only problem is that her power looks like it will outstrip even her mathematical capability. However, even though highly powerful spells require the ability to work with some incredibly large numbers, it doesn’t really matter when it’s in the league that Hayate is in. That much sheer power has its uses, even if she never develops the sort of fine control that Nanoha has.”
Teletha spoke as she mulled that over. “So, if Hayate has a back door, then we not only need to find the Book… but also occupy the Wolkenritter long enough for her to regain control. And that’s to say nothing of dealing with the witch in its labyrinth. But one thing at a time. If the Wolkenritter have Fate and Alicia as their designated targets, then we can use the two to draw the Wolkenritter out.”
“Not Alicia,” said Benjamin with a note of finality that made it clear the matter was not up for discussion. But he wasn’t about to leave it at that with nothing to support it. “Fate, yes. She can take care of herself. But Alicia doesn’t even have a device, nor the knowledge to cast even a basic shield spell. She is what she is now: a helpless child. We do not endanger her life.”
“Agreed,” said Gil, his eyes downcast. “I’ve already committed that sin myself. I do not want to see anyone else make the same mistake.”
“That is acceptable,” said Noike. “I wasn’t about to suggest it myself - it’s a horrible idea.”
Teletha nodded as well. “I apologize if I upset anyone with that. I was simply voicing my train of thought. At any rate… We need to be cagey about this, because the Wolkenritter has already seen some of what we’re capable of. They’ll be far more cautious this time around, especially if there is the slightest sign that Benjamin is on the field.”
Ben nodded his head. “It’s like hunting wolves. If they ever get even the slightest hint of a trap, they’ll turn tail and run for the hills. Literally.”
“Very apt,” said Noike with an approving smile. “You sure we can’t tempt you our way? I would love to sponsor you at the GXP Academy.”
“I’d love to, Noike,” said Benjamin a sad smile on his face, “you know I do. But with Nanoha and Fate… I’m not about to force that choice on them.” Noike nodded in acceptance - she knew what the answer was going to be. Ben wasn’t about to break the hearts of two little girls that he knew deserved better.
“At any rate,” said Washu, “I can create an advanced storming field to keep you under cover until the right moment. Even if they hit it with active detection measures, it will keep you from being seen.”
Ben nodded. “Sounds like we’ve got the general outline then. Let’s put that on hold for now and hash out the finer details once all of our star players are up and about. I’d like to get back to talking about what we’re going to do for Alyssa.”
“Not now you do,” said Washu suddenly. “I need you back down in the lab, buster. Your current physical condition is still incredibly precarious. I only let you out of bed because we would be doing nothing more strenuous than talking. And I fully intend on making sure that you properly recover.”
Lindy actually chuckled at that. “Well then! Who am I, an Admiral, to go against a medical directive from such a distinguished doctor? We’ve done enough planning for now. We can finish the rest tomorrow. Washu-chan, Benjamin is all yours.”
Ben rolled his eyes and then spoke in a dull monotone. “Oh no. Someone save me from the legal loli mad scientist.”
He didn’t complain when Washu smacked him upside the head with a paper fan, but everyone else laughed at the sight.
Of course, that’s what Ben had intended. If baiting the Rule of Funny lightened things even a little bit during these trying times, then he’ll gladly fall on that particular sword, again and again.
Less focus on Benjamin. More on the other characters. Lots of material trimmed. Lots of material added.
Chapter 4
When Ben woke up again, Washu was there waiting for him.
“Washu-chan?” he asked groggily.
“No sudden movements,” said the super-genius. “You’re recovering well, but your new physiology is still settling in.”
Ben sighed and laid there, almost in-state. “Washu-chan, I think I have some idea of what happened, but can you tell me anyhow?”
Washu nodded. “One of the things I like about you, Benjamin, is that while you can be very astute sometimes, you’ve learned to verify before jumping to conclusions. Your situation is not unprecedented, but it is unusual. The Masers are very empathetic creatures, and once one or a group of them has accepted someone as their leader, their guiding intelligence, they’ll do whatever they can to help that person.
“Very few people have ever managed to form the sort of partnership you and Squishy had. And even fewer still... Let’s just say that this is very rare.”
Benjamin nodded. “Squishy assimilated itself into me.”
“Yes. It did so because you lost a great deal of bio-mass, your right arm in this case, and Massers are given to fusing and fissioning as needed. More importantly, though, this means that your physiology has been radically altered in order to accommodate your new organ.”
“New organ?”
Washu nodded. “You are now the proud owner of a biological matter-antimatter reactor and fermion inverter.”
“A reactor? So what does this mean for me?”
“Well, short version is that you don’t have to worry much about excess calories. In fact, you’re going to want to up your caloric intake to at least four-thousand k-cals a day. Preferably five-thousand if you can manage it. Reason being is that these calories are going to be fed into the fermion inverter.”
“Hang on... You mean to say I have an antimatter generator?”
“Converter. Your fermion inverter inverts the the characteristics of the subatomic particles in existing matter.”
“Right. So how much are we talking here?”
“Not much. About one milligram per day.”
Ben’s eyebrows went up at that. “Isn’t that actually a helluva lot?”
“By your standards? Yes. But for the Massers it’s business as usual. In fact, it was because of them that antimatter became such a viable source of energy. Working out their process was one of my first papers.”
“Hence why you got an aquarium full of the little guys.”
“Exactly. Now, since I know you’re curious, I’ll go ahead and give you the reader’s digest version.
“The system operates at two levels of output: restocking and maintenance. I don’t think I have to explain what that means to you. Your organ will keep up to one microgram of antiwater in stock. This is for the purposes of providing your means of self-defense as well as a fuel bunker. What you did earlier today is that you expended ten micrograms of heavy-antiwater arranged in a packet of neutral matter with ten micrograms of heavy-water.”
“Question?”
“Yes?”
“Isn’t just two or three thousand extra calories kinda lowballing it? I mean, there’s no way that equates to that kind of energy output.”
“You’d be right if you were looking at it from the perspective generating antimatter. Now, flipping around the characteristics of existing matter, that’s a whole different ballgame. It’s still an energy intensive process, but the Masu have evolved to make it efficient enough that you can keep up with only moderate changes to your diet. And don’t pretend that I haven’t seen you eat. You sure you don’t have a black hole hiding in that stomach of yours?”
“Har-dee-har. Can’t help it if I have a fast metabolism. Even now that I’m coming up on forty years it hasn’t let up a whole lot.”
“Yes, well, lucky draw from the genetic deck and all. Any other questions?”
“Yes. What do my guts look like now?”
“I’ll show you.” With that, a hologram depicting Ben in the nude resolved. Suddenly, the skin faded out, and then the musculature, and finally the ribs.
Everything seemed relatively normal, except that there was a roundish mass over his right lung, just opposite of his heart. There was a small, dull red glow from inside it, and it looked like it was fed directly by the pulmonary veins. There was also some other vessel that went up to his right arm and ran all the way down to his hand.
“This is your new M/A Reactor Organ. It has four quadrants, much like your heart does. The lower left quadrant has your fermion inverter, while the upper left is the reactor itself. Your lower-right quadrant is your fuel storage and the upper right is a sort of preprocessing system that arranges the antiwater and water in neutral matter packets in such a way that you get the most efficient particle annihilation possible.”
“Question?”
“Yes?”
“How will my physiology be making use of an M/A reactor anyhow?”
Washu gestured to the hologram and everything faded out expect for the brain and nervous system.
“Notice anything different?”
“No I... wait.” Ben looked more carefully at where the M/A organ would be and there was a thick tendril feeding into a knot of nerves there, nearly half the thickness of the spinal nerve. This nerve, as it reached towards the spinal nerve, branched out into seven nerves, each one feeding into the spine. “That... is an awfully big nerve to be feeding into just that one organ.”
“Exactly. It’s not really obvious from this picture, but your entire nervous system has been altered by Squishy to rely entirely on electrical synapses instead of biochemical synapses. And on top of that, they’re further modified to handle heavy loads. Your M/A organ is basically acting as a gain amplifier to give your muscles little extra kick. Though I wouldn’t go grabbing any powerlines - that will still send your heart into fibrillation.”
“Okay, got it. But even with that boost, can my muscles actually handle it?”
Washu nodded. “They can, now. Squishy has increased your muscle density by five times. This is also part of why you need to up your calorie intake as your metabolism will have been adjusted to fit. You won’t notice it right away, but in a few days you should feel very light on your feet. But in order to gain access to all of it, you still need a training regimen. That won’t be an issue for you, though, because you’ve also gained a certain degree of regenerative healing. It’s not anything really special, but you can recover from the worst injuries in a few days as long as you’re resting. With that, you’ll be able to recover from a high-intensity workout by the time you get through the cooldown. It’s also why you’re awake this soon.
“Thus, you seem to be doing just fine, now. Your injuries are healing at a pace that isn’t overtaxing your body. But even so, I’ll need to begin your treatments right away. While Squishy has fused itself into you, that doesn’t mean it has altered your genetic make up. Your condition is very unstable right now.”
“So I guess this is where you knock me out, huh?”
“Pretty much,” said Washu-chan.
“Alright, hit me and let’s get it over with.”
“Will do, but just so you know, this will take several treatments. But don’t worry, I’ll give you some time between each one to get things done. Goodnight, Benjamin.”
A holoscreen appeared before Washu and she pushed a single button. And just like that, Ben was out like a light.
Minutes later, Washu walked out of her ICU and into the waiting area. There, everyone was, of course, waiting.
She smiled at the sight.
She hadn’t been stretching the truth at all: Benjamin was someone she had come to like. He was a good person and had done whatever he could to see to other people’s needs. Granted, a lot of that meant that he had to rely on Washu and her facilities, but she didn’t mind. Even if Ben couldn’t repay her directly, she could sense his appreciation.
He deserved better than what he got in his life.
But now?
Things had changed. All of these people - all of them having incredible power or remarkable skills and talents - were here waiting to learn about his well being.
And not just the Residents of the Westwoods Apartments, but also the people from the Blossom Apartments - Rob Donaldson, the Sailor Senshi, and the Academy City students. Even Accelerator was there, though only because Last Order had dragged him in. He would only grudgingly admit to having misjudged Ben’s character for having the balls to do something like going up against a superior foe like Vita. They had all shown up soon after the dimensional barrier tripped the Good Neighbor System, and then stayed once they’d heard Benjamin had been hurt.
All because he was Brother Ben.
Not “Onii-san” or “Otouto”.
He would accept it, for certain, and even with a smile.
But at the end of the day? He was simply everyone’s brother. Always there to help, to guide, to support in whatever way he could.
He was family.
And because of that, everyone had now taken him in as family in return, and it made Washu smile to see that.
“He’s going to be just fine,” she announced proudly, and everyone sighed in relief as the tension bled from the room like a relief valve had finally been opened, giving everyone present the chance to breathe easy at last. “Really, there was no question about it. He was just a bit banged up. The real issue was that his pet Masser assimilated itself into him.”
That brought sobriety crashing back into the group.
“Wait, that’s what happened!?” said Rob in surprise.
Washu nodded. “That explosion was a very small uncontrolled matter-antimatter annihilation. After the assimilation took place, Benjamin’s emotional state was elevated to the point where his new physiology took over. Rather, you could say that Squishy was still there in a ways and did the hard part for him. By now though? It’s mind, such as it was, has been completely subsumed by Benjamin’s. As a result, Ben will have some intuitive control over his new abilities, but he’ll still need time to practice them.”
“Christ,” said Kurtz. “I almost feel bad for whoever was on the receiving end of THAT!”
“Don’t be,” said a strong voice. All eyes turned to the elderly-but-hale man, a woman in a uniform with green hair and eyes, two felinoid familiars, a boy wearing black hobnailed armor, a girl in a uniform with an absolutely unruly cowlick, and a younger girl in a wheelchair. They all stood together at the opposite end of the room. Gil Graham continued, “If that was Vita he took out, then she only got what was coming to her for picking on someone like Benjamin.”
“Mr. Graham!” said Hayate in shock and dismay.
“Hayate,” said Lindsey, placing a comforting hand on Hayate’s shoulder. “It’s true. While you may be used to the concept of mass-based weaponry here on Unad- …here on Earth, they are quite rare among magic-using societies like ours and the Belkans. The moment Vita noticed that he was using mass weapons should have been the moment where she started using far more caution.”
“But I don’t understand,” said Hayate. “What is the difference?”
“Mass-based weapons do only one thing, Hayate,” said Aria quietly. “They kill people. Nothing more. Nothing less.”
Liese nodded in agreement. “Magic, on the other hand, can easily be made to be non-lethal. It is very rare to hear that someone has been killed with magic, and when it does happen, it can be taken that someone did it intentionally.”
“Indeed,” said Gil heavily. “If he was using a mass weapon against Vita… I do wonder what would push him so far so quickly.”
“Alicia,” said Sasami, stepping forward. “They said they were after Fate and Alicia.”
“Alright,” said Lindsey, “I could understand that he’d want to protect Fate, but who is Alicia?” Lindsey suddenly blinked as the name finally connected. “Wait, isn’t that the name of the girl that Fate was cloned from?”
Sasami nodded. “When Precia came back, we managed to save Alicia’s capsule. Washu-chan couldn’t revive her… So Benjamin made a deal with The Daimakaichou.”
“Good Lord!” said Gil with an almost strangled sounding voice. “He really made a deal with the Devil!? And just for that little girl!?”
“It was more than that,” said Usagi. “He did it because he couldn’t stand it. He didn’t want to see Fate cry again for her sister. His heart couldn’t bear to see her hurt anymore after what she has been through.”
“I wasn’t there for it when Ben got started,” said Rob soberly. “But to hear the others… He was like a man possessed. And I believe that, too, because he got Hild herself to make a contract that was as straight-forward as possible, given what was on the line. You should have seen it - the legalese itself was almost like a work of art.” He then scoffed in dry amusement. “It probably is, too, now that I think of it. That damned contract — that literally damned contract — belongs in a museum.”
“What he did today,” said Rei quietly. “He put his life on the line. Even though he had no idea what was going on for certain.” Rei sighed before she went on. “I have these memories now because this Maleable Causality System has changed things. He was another person. My younger brother. And even though he was younger than me, he was always there for me, no matter what. Whether it was bullies or even my own father, he always stood up for me. He always had my back. I never even needed to question it. Whatever happened, he was there. And that is exactly the kind of person he is now.”
Lindy and Gill looked to each other, and they knew right away that they were dealing with a person to be reckoned with.
“So, he’s that sort of person then,” said Gil thoughtfully. “I think I’m rather looking forward to meeting this chap.”
“Washu-chan,” said Tenchi. “What about… the Masser? Is Benjamin going to be okay?”
“He will be. He just needs time to adjust and fully assimilate his new physiology. He’ll need a bit of help, though.”
“What do you mean, Washu-chan?” asked Aeka. “When Ryo-Ohki assimilated all those massers, all we had to do was make new clothes for her.”
Washu nodded. “And that’s true. Ryo-Ohki needed no further help because her physical make-up is actually based on the massers. But Benjamin is a human. As he is right now, he’s more of a chimera.”
“Chimera?” said Kaname. “You mean… he’s like some weird mash up now?”
Washu nodded. “Exactly. Right now, he has all of his original cells… but he now has cells from Squishy scattered throughout his body. It’s only because of the masser’s ability to adapt that his body isn’t rejecting them. But leaving him in that state could prove harmful in the long run. He is going to require a full course of treatments in order to blend his genetic structure with that of the masser’s. This will effectively make him more like Ryouko, though far less powerful.”
Mihoshi giggled. “Ryouko has a new brother!”
Ryouko grumbled at that. “Not like I mind the idea, but please don’t.”
There strained faces at that as people only managed to succeed in not laughing. Aeka, though, placed a comforting hand on Ryouko’s shoulder, and Ryouko responded with a wan smile.
After all, they’ve had time now to get used to the idea that they were going to be sisters in all but blood.
“Everybody needs a sibling, Niiko Misaka opines.”
Ryouko gave her a sharp look. “That's easy to say when you've always had one. And from what Ben told me, his siblings weren't the best in the bunch — I don't want him thinking of me that way.”
“He will not, Niiko Misaka asserts. Niiko continues, If it is someone he chooses to be his family, then it is because he loves and cares for them. Niiko Misaka knows this… because even though Niiko Misaka is a clone, Mikoto Misaka has accepted us as sisters.”
Ryouko nearly blanched at that because in a certain sense, she herself was a clone of Washu. And Niiko had clearly made that distinction just then: If I — who is a clone — can be adopted into a family, then you — who is also a clone — can be, too.
Washu smiled warmly at the gesture, but then sobered as her focus shifted to Alyssa.
“As for you, young miss.”
Alyssa gulped. “But… I didn’t do anything wrong!”
Washu sighed. “No, you didn’t. And really, that’s our fault. Jeeze, Ben is gonna practically kill himself when he hears about this.”
That got everyone’s undivided attention.
“Washu-chan?” said Teletha in a deeply worried tone. “What happened?”
Sasami answered before Washu could gather the druthers for it.
“A Kyubey - an Incubator - found Alyssa and she made a contract with it. She’s a Puella Magi now.”
With that pronouncement, there was a collective outpouring of horrified gasps and despaired exclamations.
“What’s all this then?” said Gil Graham in mild confusion. “Are you saying that someone made this little girl into a mage?”
“Were it so simple,” said Rob in a tone of voice that sounded like it could crush diamonds. “These… THINGS go around masquerading as cute animals. They get girls like Alyssa here to make a wish. In return for that wish, they become magical girls, contracted to fight witches.”
Lindy blinked as she digested that. “That… does sound bad, but a lot of our own mages start at the academy at Alyssa’s age.”
“Oh, that is literally not even the half of it, though,” said Rob. “Alyssa, show them your soul gem.”
Alyssa began to quail, though. “Am… am I in trouble?”
Usagi, though, loving spirit that she was, knelt down in front of Alyssa.
“Alyssa, I won’t lie. You are in terrible danger now. But we’re not angry at you. We’re more angry at ourselves for forgetting to warn you about Kyubey. Do you understand, sweetheart?”
Alyssa nodded, then reached into her pocket and pulled out the beautiful green gemstone that held her very soul within it.
Immediately, Lindy Harlaown’s device made an urgent sounding two-note squawk.
“WARNING! UNREGISTERED PHYLACTERY DETECTED!”
The eyes in the faces of everyone in the TSAB contingent all widened in horror. Except for Hayate - she was simply confused, but she held her peace for the moment knowing that an explanation would be forthcoming.
“Sweet merciful God in Heaven,” breathed Gil.
“It gets worse,” said Rob. “That phylactery is also, as Ben once said, a mana reactor without a tailpipe. Any time she uses magic, she’s slowly poisoning her soul. Even just living right now is slowly building up corruption because it’s her magic that’s maintaining the link between the soul gem and her body.”
“Why in hell would someone do something like that!?” cried out Lindy in horror.
“These Incubators,” said Washu, “are obviously not what they appear. In fact, they are mere constructs built to deceive by omitting as much truth as they can get away with. Their masters, through the Incubators, harvest the negative energy in order to power their society.”
“But why would they do that?” cried out Aria.
“They say that they’re doing it to stave off the heat death of the universe,” said Rob. “It’s a bunch of bullshit if you ask me. To make anything even remotely resembling a dent in that kind of entropy, you’d have to have every intelligent species in the universe hooked into that system. Whoever these people are, they’re an entire civilization of sociopaths.”
“But… What happens to these girls?” asked Liesse.
Rob sighed. “Some of them manage to survive by farming witches for their grief seeds. Puella Magi can use these to siphon corruption out of their soul gems and then give them to their Kyubey to dispose of. But most others… they fall into despair… and then become witches themselves.”
Everyone was silent for a moment, processing that information and steadily feeling as though the horror was something tangible, sucking them deeper and deeper into it like quick sand.
Gil Graham broke the spell.
“My God in Heaven. They’re right proper monsters, the lot of them!”
“But what can we do about Alyssa?” wondered Liesse aloud.
Aria nodded her head thoughtfully. “Phylacteries are not well understood. The ones we do tend to find… they’re empty shells by the time we find them, so we have no idea how they work. Thus, they’re considered Lost Logia by the TSAB.”
“Well then, we’re in luck,” chirped Washu brightly, catching people by surprise with her sudden shift in mood. “Not only do we have Alyssa’s Soul Gem, but we also have another, properly engineered, functioning phylactery to study, as well as the people that designed and created them!”
Gil blanched at that. “I hope that this doesn’t become common knowledge, otherwise there’s no end to the trouble that might cause when people start trying to live forever!”
“Pffft,” said Washu derisively. “Buddy, if they need a phylactery to be immortal, then they’re doing it wrong. I should know - I’ve been around for thousands of years and I haven’t had to replace this body even once.” She then looked elsewhere nervously as she more quietly added, “Not that there hasn’t been a close call or two… or maybe even three.”
There were a few sputtering giggles at that from people that understood all too well the sorts of reasons why Washu would wind in that sort of situation.
“Anyhow!” chirped the tiny mad genius. “Ben has already made it so that if he’s ever out of commission that I can act in his stead. That said, everyone relax. New guys, I’ll get you some apartments in a few minutes, but first I need to make some phone calls.”
Fretfully, Nanoha watched as Benjamin floated in the medical-nanite bath. She felt nervous and alone, seeing him like that.
Nanoha Takamachi is a strong girl. While she didn’t make much of a big deal out of it, it was something that she privately prided herself on.
In that way, she is very much Japanese. She thought a great many things, but she kept these things mostly to herself. The only person she ever talked to about her inner-most demons was Fate, and even with her Nanoha was slow in coming out of her own shell.
It had only been recently when she met Benjamin when that really began to change. While Fate and Nanoha were already close indeed, Benjamin gave her a sense of acceptance and trust. He knew her deepest fears, and he accepted that. Not as something to be ashamed of, but something that was a part of her.
At first, it had confounded her. How could someone accept the negative aspects of someone’s personality? But Benjamin had helped her there as well — had explained that true acceptance meant that you accept a person as a whole, even the bad parts, because it is also those bad parts that make a person who they are. Not just the good, but the bad as well.
Once Nanoha understood this, it resonated sharply because she had the sudden epiphany that this was exactly how she felt about Fate. Fate had some bad parts… but despite that, Nanoha had not only accepted her, but even gone out of her way to save her.
And this had only served to draw her even closer to Benjamin. Because, like her with Fate, Benjamin had accepted her completely. And the feeling that gave her was something she wanted to wrap herself up in.
In fact, having them both hold her at the same time was a sensation that was almost intoxicating — the sheer amount of calm, blissful contentment it gave her made her feel like everything else ceased to matter. So long as she could have this feeling, then all was well.
Right then, though, she was as far from that feeling as she could possibly be. Benjamin had been hurt. Mortally wounded and placed in grave peril. Only the quick action of his pet Masser had saved his life.
Anxiety is not a rational thing. No matter the outcome, it will seize on the most negative aspects of a situation and not let go. The simple fact that Benjamin had been in that kind of danger had ratcheted Nanoha’s anxieties to a level she had only felt at one other time in her life.
There was a touch at her shoulder. Nanoha barely registered it at first until she heard a voice that brought the rest of the world back into focus.
“Nanoha?”
“Feito-chan!” she said in surprise — not at her friend’s sudden presence, but at the shock of being caught in such a state. It was absolutely embarrassing to her Japanese sensibility of maintaining her facade.
“You don’t need to hide it,” said Fate. “I know. I’m worried about him, too.”
That was the last straw. With that, the despair, worry, and sadness finally overwhelmed the levies she had worked so hard to build in her psyche.
Externally, it was a slow build-up as the tears began to well up in her eyes, her lips trembled, and her voice began to leak out despite her best effort to keep it contained. But it was all for naught.
Fate received Nanoha with open arms as the girl began bawling. She knew all too painfully well how much it hurt to keep that kind of sadness bottled up inside. As she gently stroked the back of Nanoha’s head, she thought about how broken-up her most treasured friend must be feeling — that Benjamin had such a close brush with death, and all while Nanoha had been nowhere near enough to help him.
Failure.
That was something she could relate to. The illusion that you had somehow failed in some terrible way. That you weren’t good enough.
That was their common denominator. Each of them, Nanoha, Benjamin, and Fate, had felt like they would never be good enough. And while Nanoha was the least damaged of the three of them, she still felt it. She still let it drive her actions. Granted, part of that had resulted in Fate being rescued from Precia’s insanity, but it still meant that Nanoha had her own demons to conquer, just as Fate and Benjamin did.
A song that Benjamin had shared with her earlier in the week came to mind, and almost without thinking, Fate began to softly sing the words in Nanoha’s ear.
Well it's good to know that you'll be okay
I've been waiting for this
And I'll be there to sit while you pray
And no one's blaming me
I'm not supposed to waaaaaaiiiiiit
When they open up your heaaaaarrrt
I'll wait
I have been good
I understood
Like a machine they'll fix you from the start
I'm in repair
The life that we share
I know that I'll be lost in
But we're always in repair
And it's good to know that you'll drive away
From this car crash nightmare
And I'll be there to help you again
And there's no danger
We're just killing time agaaaaiiiin
While they order up new paaaaaarrrts
I'll wait!
I have been good!
I understood!
Like a machine they'll fix you from the start
I'm in repair
The life that we share
I know that I'll be lost in
But we're always in repair
Nanoha’s sobs quickly ceased once Fate began to sing the song, oh so gently into her ear. She was utterly transfixed because she had never heard Fate sing before. But now that she had…
Nanoha had never realized that she had such a sweet and beautiful sounding voice. Just hearing it was enough to still her rampaging emotions. But the words themselves struck a chord as well. The message in there was clear. That no matter what may happen, Fate will always be at her side.
Fate didn’t bother finishing the song. The important parts had been said already. She simply held Nanoha with the thought in mind: We’re all broken some way or another. We’re always in repair. But that was alright, because no one is perfect. It was simply enough to be there for one another and love each other.
From Ben’s perspective, it had all been so very sudden. One moment Washu had been saying goodnight to him, the next he found himself in another hospital bed… and that Fate and Nanoha had climbed into the bed with him — one to either side, sleeping on top of the bed covers and curled up at his sides. Apparently, this wasn’t some off-the-cuff thing because the bed had been made wide enough to accommodate them all in comfort.
“Oh good, you’re awake,” came Washu’s voice. Ben looked up and saw that she was poking her head in through the door. She continued as she entered the room, “Well, that little fireworks show from earlier caught someone’s attention and they came a-knocking. I was going to ignore them up until they said they were from the TSAB.”
Ben straightened up at that.
“They want to talk? Now?”
“If you don’t mind.”
Ben shrugged. “I guess it can’t hurt.”
Washu nodded and then waved someone in. That someone was a woman somewhat unruly mint-green hair in a ponytail, mint-green eyes, and markings in the same color on her forehead - four bisected triangles in a diamond pattern with their apexes pointing toward the center.
Admiral Lindy Harlaown.
She stopped nearly in mid-stride, eying the tableau before her with some confusion. Right away, Ben knew he was in trouble and vitriolically cursed himself for not asking exactly who it was before Washu let them in.
Lindy’s face hardened as she said, “Well, you look comfortable.”
Ben almost snorted despite himself. “I was lucky. It’s not every day you can tank a shot from Graf Eisen and still walk away intact.”
That stalled whatever tirade Lindy was about to go on as her expression suddenly shifted from ire to shock.
“You took a straight-on blow from Vita?”
“Not like I intended it,” said Ben with a shrug. “I was on my way out when she tagged me.”
Lindy blinked. “That’s not like her. What did you do to deserve that?”
“I nailed her in the face with a 12.7 millimeter round from an anti-material cartridge.”
Lindy now goggled at Ben. She had heard that Ben was using a mass weapon, but no one said anything about anti-material weapons. The very idea - even if it was one of the Wolkenritter - was pure overkill by Lindy’s reckoning.
“What were you thinking!?”
“He was thinking of me,” said Fate softly as she began to stir, then gave Lindy a gentle smile. “Hello Admiral Harlaown.”
“Fate! What are you doing with this man?”
Her smile faded and Fate regarded the Admiral placidly.
“Benjamin is very important to me. He’s a lot like me because of what he’s experienced.”
“What he’s experienced?” asked Lindsy.
“Yes. He knows what it’s like. To struggle in vain to try to please someone who won’t ever be pleased. To always be afraid. To be hurt by family. It was so bad for him that it still haunts him even now. For that, he understands me.
“But more than that… He made the impossible happen. He brought Alicia back.”
“Yes, I heard about that, but-”
“LEAVE BIG BROTHER ALONE!”
Lindy could only look on in shock as a miniature version of Fate suddenly dashed in from behind her and interposed herself between Lindy and Ben, hands on her hips, chest thrust outward, and a solid hundred-watt glare on her little face.
“How did you make this happen?” asked the Admiral. “I know that you made some kind of deal with Hild-sama, but no one told me the details.”
Ben tilted his head slightly and said, “What would you give to see Fate happy?”
“I… I have no idea. Not something like this. I never thought it was even possible.”
“That’s the difference between you and me, Admiral. I ascribe to James T. Kirk’s maxim: I don’t believe in no-win scenarios.”
“Who?”
“Quite possibly one of the greatest starship captains there ever was.”
“Right… But this.... I...” Lindy stopped, took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. “I understand that you would want to help them,” she said. “I really do. But what in the world would make you go that far?”
Benjamin sighed and leaned back into his bed, as though recalling past events in order to tell a story.
This wasn’t far off from the truth.
“There is so much that has been denied me, Admiral, and so much that has been taken away. To give Fate and Alicia something so dear and so precious, I would set myself on fire and give everything that I am and ever would be.
“The girls tell me otherwise, but life has taught me how little I matter to the world at large. It cares not for the likes of me and will gladly grind me to pieces within its gears with nary a sign of effort.”
Benjamin then looked the woman in the eyes. It was not a scowl, but the look in his eyes was so intense that it might as well have been one.
“How do I make a difference in such a world, Admiral?”
Lindy knew very well what he meant. This world that she had found herself in was utterly antithetical to idealists.
“You set yourself on fire,” she said with a resigned regretfulness in her voice, “to light the way for others.”
“Don’t say such things,” said Nanoha as she stirred and wrapped her arms around his neck. “You’re worth so much more than that! Alicia is proof of that.”
“You too, Nanoha!?” said Lindy in shock.
“Unh,” replied the Takamachi girl with a nod of her head. “I know it’s strange, but the very first moment I saw him… I knew that Benjamin was special. Just like Fate is. He is very strong, but he’s been hurt so much — it makes me sad to even think about it. But he is such a kind person, even though he would be justified in being angry and bitter at the entire world. I don’t know of anyone that is that strong. Not even my father or my brother could be what Benjamin is, and they are some of the kindest men I know.”
Lindy looked between all four of them and was confronted by resolute stares.
“I can’t do this right now,” she said with a sigh. “But rest assured, we will have words about this matter later.”
With that, Lindy left. Ben looked to Nanoha and Fate, who both only shrugged helplessly as Alicia joined them at their bedside.
Ben sighed. “First Kaname, now Admiral Harlaown.”
“We already said that we’re going to wait,” said Fate.
“I know, Fate,” said Ben heavily. “But for a lot of people, that won’t matter at all. They’ll simply label me as a pervert and a monster.”
“That’s a lie!” said Alicia suddenly. “Big brother is a good person. I know he’d never do anything to hurt any of us.”
“But that’s the thing, Alicia,” said Ben gently. “They don’t want to see the truth. They only see what they want to see.”
“But the Admiral,” said Fate with worry, “why would she be like that?”
“Because she cares about you,” said Benjamin. “She knows you’ve been through a lot, so she feels like she has to protect you. It’s not really her fault. She’s just in Mother Bear mode. And with good reason, too. Admiral Harlaown… she was supposed to adopt you. Your name is supposed to be Fate T. Harlaown by now.”
Fate made a pensive expression at that. “I… I know about that. We had talked about it before all… of this happened.” She then looked Ben in the eyes with a sad smile. “But as thankful as I am to the Admiral, I think Fate Testarossa-Rhodes sounds better.”
Ben scoffed, both amused and bemused. “Damn, girl. You don’t pull your punches much, do you?”
“I never have. Not when I have had to fight so hard. My life… it may have been short so far, but it has been a constant battle. But if this is what it takes for me to be happy, then I am prepared to keep on fighting.”
“That’s enough serious talk for you three,” came Washu’s voice from the door, drawing everyone’s attention. “The other girls are putting together a sleep-over with Alyssa. You should go and join them now. Besides, there’s things Benjamin needs to take care of.”
“Alright then,” said Fate with an air of diplomacy. “We’ll go.”
Nanoha and Fate then slid off the sides of the bed and turned to go, but Fate turned back one last time, pulling the others up short with her.
“We love you very much, Benjamin. And we know what it means to you. We’re willing to be patient. We’re willing to fight. We’re willing to be your family.”
With that, the three left the room, leaving only Ben and Washu together.
Once Ben was sure they were out of earshot, though, he finally let the burning tears come.
“God dammit all,” he cursed softly. “Why the hell does it have to be this way? They’re only children! And I’ve done everything I can without saying ‘No’ outright!”
“It’s alright, Benjamin,” said Washu as she placed a comforting hand on his arm. “I understand. Believe it or not, I myself find it a bit strange. Granted, having a crush at their age is perfectly normal. But after everything that’s happened so far… normally a girl would have reevaluated her feelings long ago. But those two continue to double-down each and every time. Not that I can’t see why. Nothing they’ve said so far is a lie. But you would think that they would be at least a little bit frightened. And yet, the only thing that frightens them is losing you.”
“It’s frightening me!” said Ben. “I mean… I do want what they want. For us to be a family. And I just… I just can’t say no to that! So either way I would be out of my goddamned mind. I can’t say no because I want it so much, but saying yes makes me out to be a child predator!”
Washu sighed at that because it was the truth. There was only one thing she could say.
“Then maybe you should consider Princess Aeka’s offer instead.”
Ben closed his eyes and sighed, saying only one name. “Vivio Takamachi.”
“I’m not sure who that is,” said Washu.
“She is the girl that Nanoha rescues and adopts as her own child later on when she’s an adult. A very special girl. And if Nanoha isn’t there? Then that poor girl will have a very miserable life, spent as a living command and control unit of an interdimensional starship under the whims of a mad man.”
“… Oh.” That was all Washu had to say on the matter, for it truly was a conundrum. Messing with space and time was one thing. Washu could do it so easily that she had been barred from doing so by the Galaxy Alliance. But breaching the boundaries between universes… that had supposedly been what started this whole mess in the first place.
And yet, she had her doubts about that. Something about it wasn’t lining up quite right, but for the life of her, Washu couldn’t quite put her finger on it, whatever it was.
Ben, for his part sighed and contemplated a terrible idea.
“Maybe we should erase their memories.”
“WHAT!?” cried out Washu, because for her this came so far out of left field that it defied all logic.
“Just… so they don’t remember me. So I don’t have to break their hearts. So they can go on and live…” Benjamin scoffed. “Well, whatever the hell counts as a normal life for those two.”
“Benjamin Michael Rhodes, that is horrible and you know it!”
“Well of course I know it!” he growled back. “Since when has my life been anything but horrible!?”
Washu looked somewhat hurt by that. “…I would have hoped that would be when we came into your life.”
His tears came once again, burning at his eyes as they welled over.
“No. I am your caretaker. Your custodian. And I have no business being part of your lives. And that should go especially so for Nanoha and Fate.”
“Even after what you did for Alicia?”
A beat. “Yes. Because after that I should have washed my hands of them and let them go live their lives.”
“But you can’t do that,” said Washu. “Alicia is depending on you now.”
“And that’s why I should have had Nanoha or Fate — maybe even both — take on the role that I’m filling now. I’m such a huge fucking moron for making that mistake.”
“DON’T SAY THAT!” yelled Washu suddenly. “NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN! THOSE THINGS HE TOLD YOU WERE LIES! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! YOU’RE INTELLIGENT! YOU’RE INSIGHTFUL! YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL! EVEN IF YOU CAN’T WRITE POETRY, YOU STILL HAVE A POET’S SOUL!”
“…what use is any of that when all life does is invalidate my efforts?”
“Your efforts do matter!” cried out Washu. She then said and said, “You keep working so hard for our sakes, Benjamin. You have the right to be happy. And even though this thing with Nanoha and Fate is strange, if it makes you happy, then I want to help you three out any way I can.”
His tears kept flowing because it hurt. It hurt so much to know that someone cared for him that much. That they wanted him to be happy. So much that they would scream and rant and rave at him about it.
It wasn’t the idea that someone cared about him that hurt, though. It was more the idea of why they couldn’t have come for him when he still could have been saved. When he had first began to desire escape.
But that wasn’t her fault. It was just life being unfair, as usual. And so, it hurt.
“You need to get up,” said Washu at last. “The others are waiting for you up in your apartment. They want to talk about what happens next.”
Ben nodded his head sullenly. No time for regrets. No time for his feelings. No time for him.
It was time to go to work.
In Ben’s living room, what he had taken to calling the Senior Council was sitting around his coffee table as a pot of tea and a carafe of coffee slowly cooled. Washu, Noike, Teletha, Peorth, and Marlr. This time they were joined by Gil Graham and Admiral Harlaown.
Ben had been assured by Washu and Noike that the Midchildan would be keeping things professional. Any talk about his relationship with Fate and Nanoha was strictly forbidden.
“Sunuva fucking bitch, I really fucked up,” said Ben morosely as he palmed his face with both hands.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Benjamin,” said Marlr. “God knows we all make mistakes. Even the Megami mess up sometimes.”
“This isn’t a mistake I should have made. I mean, how the hell do I make up for this? Her parents could ask for my head and as far as I’m concerned, they’d be within their rights!”
“They won’t,” said Peorth, gently but firmly. “They’re not the type of people that do that sort of thing. They’re very well aware of the fact that as of late, danger has been lurking in the shadows. They will know that it was not your fault that the Incubators had targeted little Alyssa.”
Ben grumbled impotently as he felt himself deflate with resignation.
“Alright. Fine. Whatever. I’ll burn that bridge when I get to it. What are we doing for Alyssa right now?”
Peorth wanted to say something about his passive-aggressive attitude, but Marlr put a hand to her shoulder. Looking to the Demoness, Peorth saw her shaking her head in the negative with a deeply concerned look in her eyes. Any other day, Peorth might have shrugged that off…
…But these days as of late have been far from ordinary.
Peorth nodded her head, signaling that she understood. Better to let it go for now - confronting him right away would only rile Benjamin even more.
“We have her in my Lab,” said Washu. “Of course she’s not alone there. All the girls have put together a sleep-over to cheer her up. They didn’t want her to feel alone.”
Ben sighed. “Good. That’s… I really mean it, that’s great. Keeping her spirits up will help slow the corruption process. So, making her a phylactery to take the place of her Soul Gem. Can it be done?”
“It can,” said Washu with a nod of her head. “But the tricky part will actually be moving her soul. We’ll need Usagi’s help for that, but…” Washu then looked to Peorth and Marlr.
“As the girl is still alive,” said Marlr with a mildly aloof tone, “it’s out of our hands. The Megami may lend a hand with they wish to.”
Peorth shook her head. “It’s as Marlr said. Besides, with us needing to devote so much resources to restoring the Yggdrasil/Nidhog system, it would be best if you handle the things you can handle without our direct assistance. Marlr and I are only here right now because the Daimakaichou and The Almighty want us to report on whats going on. Keep in mind, this isn’t a negative reflection on your performance here. It’s more that the situation has become elevated to such a degree that it warrants attention.
“Make no mistake about it, Benjamin: The Incubators and their masters are of grave concern to both the Heavenly and Infernal sides. Even in an ideal situation, we would not be taking them any less seriously.”
Ben started to draw himself together. There were things that needed to be done, and they had to be done, like yesterday even.
“Alright then,” he said. “We’ll table Alyssa’s issue for later, as that can keep for a bit. We need to do something about the Wolkenritter.”
“Normally that would be where I would supply some useful information,” said the Admiral from her side of the room. “However, with such a radical alteration of their behavior, I cannot even begin to suss out their motives.”
Noike nodded her head. “You mean how they were targeting Fate and Alicia.”
“Exactly. Really, unless we find out who is pulling their strings, then even if we eliminate them, they can be respawned again and again.”
“This is part of what made the Book of Darkness such a terrible thing,” said Gil. “Those poor people… Despite being magical constructs, they’re sophonts in every sense of the word. And yet they’re forced to live out this brutal existence, serving one master after another. The only blessing is that they have no real recall of their experiences with previous masters.”
Teletha chimed in a thoughtful look on her face.
“So, the question is: who would want them killed?” Suddenly her expression shifted to one of realization. “A FAMILIAR!”
Everyone else blinked in confusion, but Washu caught on right away.
“Are you sure of that?” asked Washu.
“I’m positive. You saw it yourself, Benjamin - that the Fate clones all started to turn into familiars once Precia became a witch.”
“Yeah, that’s right,” said Ben, his expression still puzzled. “You think one or two got out? But if that’s the case, then why this?”
“The one thing Fate wanted the most in the entire universe,” said Teletha, “was to be acknowledge and loved by her mother. If one of those familiars matured into a witch, a being which is comprised of nothing but negative emotions, then that longing becomes something evil. Such as seeing Fate and Alicia as competition for her mother’s affections.”
Everyone was stunned into silence as it all rung true.
“Hooohhh-leeee-shit,” said Ben. “That’s… That makes sense. A horrible, fucked-up sense, but yeah.” He then shook his head in wonder. “Now I’d just like to know how the hell it got ahold of the Book of Darkness, but I guess that doesn’t really matter now.”
“Indeed,” said Noike. “For now, let’s focus on how we’re going to defuse this ticking time bomb. Mr. Graham? Admiral Harlaown? You’re the ones with the most familiarity with the Wolkenritter and the Book. We’ll gladly defer to your expertise in this matter.”
“Thank you, Noike,” said Admiral Harlaown. “We’ve actually been thinking about that, and Hayate has informed us that she left a back door that will grant her and her alone access into the Book, just in case anything went wrong. She’s absolutely certain that the Ultimate Defense Program doesn’t know about it since it has only recently reconstituted itself.”
“That’s remarkable!” said Washu in surprise. “She managed to do that without upsetting the checksums? She must be one hell of a natural at coding to pull that off.”
“But wasn’t that just because she named it,” asked Ben. “As I recall, when it comes to magic, naming a thing gives a person incredible power over it.”
“The same applies to computers,” said Teletha sagely. “If you’re able to gain enough access to start renaming everything, then you pretty much have full administrative access. And supposedly, this so-called Book of Darkness is really just a strange operating system that manipulates and is powered by magic. If that’s the case, then Washu-chan is absolutely right.”
Ben nodded at that. Midchildan and Belkan magic systems were interesting in that way. They were highly agnostic systems of magic where there was very little bullshit going on. Everything was quantified and understood through the scientific process, and their version of modern spell making had much more in common with programming languages. Ben wouldn’t be surprised if most applications of magic on Midchilda actually were considered to be engineering disciplines.
Lindy nodded sagely. “It’s part of why I was sponsoring her afterward. Her mage potential is phenomenal - even more so than Nanoha’s. Her only problem is that her power looks like it will outstrip even her mathematical capability. However, even though highly powerful spells require the ability to work with some incredibly large numbers, it doesn’t really matter when it’s in the league that Hayate is in. That much sheer power has its uses, even if she never develops the sort of fine control that Nanoha has.”
Teletha spoke as she mulled that over. “So, if Hayate has a back door, then we not only need to find the Book… but also occupy the Wolkenritter long enough for her to regain control. And that’s to say nothing of dealing with the witch in its labyrinth. But one thing at a time. If the Wolkenritter have Fate and Alicia as their designated targets, then we can use the two to draw the Wolkenritter out.”
“Not Alicia,” said Benjamin with a note of finality that made it clear the matter was not up for discussion. But he wasn’t about to leave it at that with nothing to support it. “Fate, yes. She can take care of herself. But Alicia doesn’t even have a device, nor the knowledge to cast even a basic shield spell. She is what she is now: a helpless child. We do not endanger her life.”
“Agreed,” said Gil, his eyes downcast. “I’ve already committed that sin myself. I do not want to see anyone else make the same mistake.”
“That is acceptable,” said Noike. “I wasn’t about to suggest it myself - it’s a horrible idea.”
Teletha nodded as well. “I apologize if I upset anyone with that. I was simply voicing my train of thought. At any rate… We need to be cagey about this, because the Wolkenritter has already seen some of what we’re capable of. They’ll be far more cautious this time around, especially if there is the slightest sign that Benjamin is on the field.”
Ben nodded his head. “It’s like hunting wolves. If they ever get even the slightest hint of a trap, they’ll turn tail and run for the hills. Literally.”
“Very apt,” said Noike with an approving smile. “You sure we can’t tempt you our way? I would love to sponsor you at the GXP Academy.”
“I’d love to, Noike,” said Benjamin a sad smile on his face, “you know I do. But with Nanoha and Fate… I’m not about to force that choice on them.” Noike nodded in acceptance - she knew what the answer was going to be. Ben wasn’t about to break the hearts of two little girls that he knew deserved better.
“At any rate,” said Washu, “I can create an advanced storming field to keep you under cover until the right moment. Even if they hit it with active detection measures, it will keep you from being seen.”
Ben nodded. “Sounds like we’ve got the general outline then. Let’s put that on hold for now and hash out the finer details once all of our star players are up and about. I’d like to get back to talking about what we’re going to do for Alyssa.”
“Not now you do,” said Washu suddenly. “I need you back down in the lab, buster. Your current physical condition is still incredibly precarious. I only let you out of bed because we would be doing nothing more strenuous than talking. And I fully intend on making sure that you properly recover.”
Lindy actually chuckled at that. “Well then! Who am I, an Admiral, to go against a medical directive from such a distinguished doctor? We’ve done enough planning for now. We can finish the rest tomorrow. Washu-chan, Benjamin is all yours.”
Ben rolled his eyes and then spoke in a dull monotone. “Oh no. Someone save me from the legal loli mad scientist.”
He didn’t complain when Washu smacked him upside the head with a paper fan, but everyone else laughed at the sight.
Of course, that’s what Ben had intended. If baiting the Rule of Funny lightened things even a little bit during these trying times, then he’ll gladly fall on that particular sword, again and again.