Stupid dialog, free to a good home

[classicdrogn]

"Good afternoon, class. You will note that I did not take attendance; as there is currently a surfeit of Dark Arts to Defend against in Britain, if you are not present I will simply assume you are engaged in some practical study -- but be aware that I will expect a verbal report and demonstration in front of the class on at least three spells and any tactics involved when you return, and will grade your performance accordingly. Such expeditions as well as in-class work are to be performed in pairs, and will also be graded accordingly. As your partner will be assigned completely at random and only involves this single subject, you should expect that they will become a defining character in your personal story, whether lifelong friends or rivals, lovers, perhaps even a spouse. Should you fail to form such a connection, there is the danger of them - or you - instead becoming the driving subject of a defining regret or quest for revenge, so everyone do your best to get along! Tragic backstories are overdone and cliche!"