Why do I have to fly
Over every town, up and down the line?
And I'll die in the clouds above
And you that I defend, I do not love
I wake up, it's a bad dream
No one on my side, I was fighting
But I just feel too tired to be fighting
Guess I'm not the fighting kind
Where will I meet my fate?
Baby, I'm a man and I was born to hate
And when will I meet my end?
In a better time you could be my friend
I wake up, it's a bad dream
No one on my side, I was fighting
But I just feel too tired to be fighting
Guess I'm not the fighting kind
Wouldn't mind it if you were by my side
But you're long gone, yeah, you're long gone now
Yeeeeeaaaaaaa~aaaah
Where do we go?
I don't even know
My strange old face
And I'm thinking about those days
And I'm thinking about those days
I wake up, it's a bad dream
No one on my side, I was fighting
But I just feel too tired to be fighting
Guess I'm not the fighting kind
Wouldn't mind it if you were by my side
But you're long gone, yeah, you're long gone now
Yeeeeeaaaaaaa~aaaah
Over every town, up and down the line?
And I'll die in the clouds above
And you that I defend, I do not love
I wake up, it's a bad dream
No one on my side, I was fighting
But I just feel too tired to be fighting
Guess I'm not the fighting kind
Where will I meet my fate?
Baby, I'm a man and I was born to hate
And when will I meet my end?
In a better time you could be my friend
I wake up, it's a bad dream
No one on my side, I was fighting
But I just feel too tired to be fighting
Guess I'm not the fighting kind
Wouldn't mind it if you were by my side
But you're long gone, yeah, you're long gone now
Yeeeeeaaaaaaa~aaaah
Where do we go?
I don't even know
My strange old face
And I'm thinking about those days
And I'm thinking about those days
I wake up, it's a bad dream
No one on my side, I was fighting
But I just feel too tired to be fighting
Guess I'm not the fighting kind
Wouldn't mind it if you were by my side
But you're long gone, yeah, you're long gone now
Yeeeeeaaaaaaa~aaaah
Quote:"Fitting, isn’t it?" said Ben with quiet resentment, nodding with his head to the freeze-frame. "That you can’t see them."
"See what?" asked Teletha, honestly confused.
"The tears," said Ben, matter of factly.
Teletha blinked in confusion. Yes, the expression on his face was troubled, but tears?
"What tears?" she asked.
"Exactly," hissed Benjamin angrily as he whirled on the smaller girl. "What tears? They don’t matter because you can’t see them. And you never will. You’re too far away. Too far for me to really matter. Sure, you know I exist. But I’m just one among billions. I don’t matter, and I never will. There is nothing special or exceptional about me. Anyone can do what I do. I’m replaceable. Cheap. Easily broken. Easily discarded."
Teletha looked back at the frozen image on the screen. It was slightly grainy as the resolution wasn't the best. But once she honestly looked, she saw a faint, tell-tale glimmer of light reflecting off of something wet on Ben's face.
He actually had been crying.
"But… What!? You…" stammered Teletha, barely able to even form interjections as the thoughts began to swirl in her normally orderly mind. How could she have not noticed? She had been sitting right next to him. She had been saying those things - things that mus have been ripping his heart into pieces. Saying such things so thoughtlessly and without regard to a man that had honestly confessed his own feelings towards her... and then settled for a professional relationship.
One that she had been utterly failing to keep "professional" by using him as a sounding board for her feelings. Just using him. Because she knew he understood her - knew her heart and her feelings and why she felt what she felt. It had been too good for her to pass up. But now, she was beginning to realize that there was a terrible price to pay for such things. Nothing should ever be that easy, after all. Least of all, loving another human being.
"Don’t try to convince me otherwise," snapped Ben. "That will be nothing more than a lie. How about you tell them, Belldandy. It’s true, isn’t it? There’s at least a thousand other guys out there that can do what I’ve been doing here."
"You are unique-" started the Goddess, but Benjamin was not about to let her finish that line. While it was technically true, it was actually only a half-truth that carried a caveat that he was all too terribly aware of.
If Belldandy made but one mistake here, it was underestimating just how sharp Benjamin is. He had seen it coming before the words even began to leave her mouth.
The terrible irony about Benjamin was that even though he was broken on the inside, those shattered pieces all possess edges as keen as an obsidian knife. So finely sharp that you could perform surgery on a blood platelet. So fragile that it was prone to breaking with just the lightest bit of stress.
He was broken, yes. But if you mistreated him, he would cut you so horribly.
"CAN. SOMEONE. ELSE. DO. IT."
"…Yes," said the Megami in a defeated tone. "It is true. There are others who can."
"And there it is," said Ben quietly. "Yes. I am unique. But only as one grain of sand is unique from all the others. Unique, yes. But nothing special." He then sighed and said, "I am broken. But more than that? I am tired. I am so very emotionally exhausted. I want to be able to stop living. But that would be selfish of me, wouldn’t it? I would make so many people feel bad if I did that. So I need to keep on hurting and suffering for their sake. Because that’s what I’m meant for. Not to be happy. But to always be heartbroken and sad."
He looked around the room and found everyone gaping at him in surprise. Even Kaname hadn't been immune - she being Benjmain's biggest critic thus far.
"I can't do this anymore," said Ben at last. "You all deserve better than this. You deserve better than me. I'll be in my office. Please don't bother me unless it's an actual emergency."