[OOC][PLOT][ARC 1] Planning for Season 1 - The Retcon

[Labster]

I still don't get what this fight is about.  Black Aeronaut is the one who told us that we would all be better off if Benjamin never existed, and Rob wrote a story along those lines to help process his feelings.

The problem is the way Rob has it set up.  Look carefully at this part from Belldandy's letter.

...but there are a few people who we approached in this version of reality that we did not approach in the reality of your birth, and vice versa.

This does not remove Benjamin from the setting.  It only removes him from any active story telling.  He is still there, technically speaking.  And I don't want any sort of wiggle room on this.  I do not want anyone to think that maybe I can and should come back.

Oh don't worry, I don't think there's any chance of that happening after this thread.

 ... I do not want any seeds of doubt and/or hope for that left behind.  And not just because someone says so, but also because its there in the writing.  There will be no way to bring him back because he was never, in any incarnation of TNB, there in the first place.

If you think no one is gonna think that, then recall what Dartz said earlier - that it leaves a way for me back into the setting.  And he's part of the project, even if not all that active.  (EDIT: Dartz explicitly says, "All the data is still there."  And if the data is still there?  Then so is Benjamin.)

This is actually a good argument, in the parentheses.

There is also the hidden message in the context of what Rob has set up.  Why would Rob Donaldson remake the universe so Benjamin wasn't an apartment manager?  In a deconstructionist setting, that cannot have been accidental on his character's part.  The only possible explanation is that Rob Donaldson did that on purpose.

wait let me pull from later down...

And as far as many people are concerned, myself included, Death of the Author does not apply to Self Insert characters.

So there's a hidden message different from what the author is saying, but death of the author can't apply.  Right. 

Also those "many people" are flat out wrong, and this is basic fucking common sense.  When ancient Egyptians died, they didn't get to tell their own story and Osiris was like "okay you sound good", no, Ma'at put your heart on the scales with her feather and tested it out.  Even when you're the author of your own story, you don't tell the truth.  You don't fully understand your own societal context. 

There are so many negative implications for that.  And these are the sort of implications that are utterly toxic to projects like TNB.  Even if it's not Rob's intent, it implies a willingness to hurt another Author by fucking over their SI.  And besides, only the Author of a said SI has the right to do that to their character.

And while arguing against death of the author, you've assumed a whole lot about the intent of the SI and the author that I simply do not see.  If continuity is rewritten, how can he possibly hurt?  He never existed, so how can he feel harm?

And there is also what I said earlier - if you're just rewriting everything else so Benjamin was never there, then why bother with this?  It's superfluous and unneeded.  The ONLY reason you would have something like this is if you are trying to send some sort of message.  The connotations of this particular message are not good at all.

To me what the message expresses is pure grief.  Sadness over what was lost, and what could never be spoken.  How it puts a metaphysical weight on the Belldandy in the same way it does on the author.  And it doesn't matter if Rob leaves this story in, or not.  Belldandy will still know.  She will know if Ben still exists happily in some quiet corner of the setting but only in my mind, or if Ben never existed, she will know what could have been.

And as far as many people are concerned, myself included, Death of the Author does not apply to Self Insert characters.

The only possible way to make this so that there are no negative implications or connotations is to fully acknowledge that my character exists in the setting.  Even if you don't drop his name, you have to say that this person existed, and that Rob Donaldson explicitly meant him no harm.

That is why I do not want this to be in Rob's story.  And they have little to do with what I actually want, save for my wanting my character out, and without harming the project any more than my departure has to.

The amount of times that we have all accepted stories in which you're dealing with your emotions, it's really amazing how much you can attack someone else for doing the same thing.  It's incredibly selfish.  You're making a point of assuming the worst about people.  You're telling people that you're completely out of the project, and also have been telling us what we can and cannot write nonstop.  A lot of this you have the right to do, but it's the lack of empathy for what it's like to be on the other side of this breakup that really gets to me.

We're doing all of this work because you got upset at us, for basically no reason.  Well, not quite no reason, just a really dumb one.  It's because Rob wrote a character that, God forbid, did not like your SI.  A character with lots of issues who didn't like you too even though you also have issues.  I mean, characters not liking other characters is called drama.

Oh right, and I said that one paragraph seemed too Mary Sue, and the character should be focused on herself more than on SI!Benjamin.  Isn't the point of team writing to have criticism?  I mean, gosh, critiques means someone actually read the story.  Warms the cockles of my heart, it does.  But time after time I've offered constructive criticism, and you've taken it as a personal attack.  I had to learn to never say anything bad about your SI because you would project everything as an attack on yourself.  That's what you're doing right now -- projecting.  You're seeing a sad mystery as an attack on your person, just like everything else.

At first I was sad to see you go, because you've done some of the best writing in this project, particularly in the action scenes.  But you've also done some of the very worst writing, so on second thought, maybe I'm glad.  I had to avoid writing any kind of close collaboration with you or your SI, because I would never be able to speak my mind.

For example, all of the stuff sexualizing children.  That is totally fine as a writing topic, really.  It's definitely part of the human condition.  But not one I ever wanted to participate in.  I mean, okay, Nanoha and Fate are functionally adults in children's bodies.  But then there's the stuff with Homura.  And giving a five-year old character orgasms.  And, like, fuck, that is not what I signed up for.  You have a right to write these kinds of stories.  But I could never criticize.  I had to keep Yomi and Tomo away from Ben, because if they thought Kimura-sensei was a huge pervert for liking high school girls, what on earth would they think of Ben?  And Skuld, oh man, what would Skuld think?  Of course I could never write those characters' natural reactions because you would take it as a deep personal insult.  And God, the recent stuff where you essentially came up with a compulsion spell so your SI could rape Hagall, that's not cool.  Again, fair game for writing, but not in a place where other characters could never criticize.

I mean, seriously, I was telling my parents about us and the phone calls, and when I explained you, my mother asked, "Why have a writing circle if you can't take criticism?"  I honestly can't answer that.  Maybe it's just your need for praise, I guess?  Was that what it was about?

I guess that's what the giant Marty Stu was about.  Last week you were talking about how your SI's ability would just casually make Ranma really weak.  Or all of the girls that would fall for Ben, because he's so cool, but also has all of this emotional baggage that he likes to talk about in excruciating detail.  It may shock you to learn this but this is not how reality works.  Females do not choose mates based on whether or not they deserved to suffer, but on fitness, and all of that stuff would chase nearly all women away.  Most human relationship behavior is about hiding flaws until the other side is willing to tolerate them.  You put that all out in the open, which is kinda typically autistic.  But damn, does it lack verisimilitude.  It comes across as pure wish fulfillment.  Again, it's fine to write this, but it's not what I signed up for, and not what I ever wanted to participate in -- and especially so if I cannot offer criticism.

What I did sign up for was the writing prompt, most obviously.  You're a very good /r/writingprompts, Black Aeronaut.  But working with you hindered my integration into the setting, and I could never truly collaborate with you.  Even writing at the margins of the world meant I had to deal with a setting of straight up goofy stuff like a mad scientist levitating random buildings because ???, alternate universe Benjamins, and OOC Sailor Uranus in tears for daring to make one mistake for what she thought was justice because it hurt poor little Benjamin.  And we could never get you to kill your darlings, not even once, not even the ones not about your SI.

And this whole thing about you leaving got started because you couldn't tolerate a fucked-up fictional character dissing your SI, who is not even you.  An imaginary mental case saying they don't like an imaginary version of you caused you to freak the fuck out, and abandon a project you worked on for years.  You interpreted this as Rob giving you a big fuck you.  No, that's not how most people work.  For example, this post is me telling you off.  There's none of that subtle bullshit that you interpret as imaginary slings and arrows.  No, it's me just calling you a total nutcase, because you can't distinguish between yourself and a fictional version of yourself that impresses underage girls by firing antimatter out his ass.

I'm tired of dealing with calming you down over imagined slights and I'm tired of staying quiet about things that could really improve the story.  I'm tired of listening to you read stories about how your family sucked, but you're this strong kind man everyone immediately respects and now it's time to have transform into a girl and have sex with my underage-looking robot friend Taiga.  Ugh, it's so cringe.  And most of all, I'm tired of you telling other people what things they can and cannot write, while you yourself would erupt in anger or depression if anyone suggested change your writing a little bit.

Seriously, go away.  We don't want you to rejoin the group.  There's no chance of it.  There, now Rob doesn't have to change his story, because there is no chance that Ben can ever be part of the story again.  Everyone gets what they want.