WARNING -- WARNING -- WARNING -- WARNING
This text file is incomplete, and needs a significant rewrite. Edited to remove most spoilers, but some may still remain. Typos abound. Plot holes exist. Exceedingly short in length. Details have _changed_ since the last edit. The Moon's in the Seventh House, and Jupiter's aligned with Mars. It's raining frogs and blood. Bob Schroeck is actually a Vorlon secret agent. I work for UNIT. Beware dragons.
Read at your own risk.
(EXCERPT BEGINS)
Industrial Might and Logic
in association with
Loon 'n' Toon Productions
proudly present
Legion's Quest: Girls, Girls, Girls
(A Drunkard's Walk Side Story)
by
Whichever of us is foolish enough to claim credit
I. Dinner For How Many?!
George: You know the kind of girls I like. They've got to be
lovers... laughers... dancers...
Edmund: And bonkers.
-- "Blackadder the Third"
"That's not a little girl! That's Godzilla with bangs!"
-- Montana Max
"You're certain?" Ed Becerra stared in baffled fascination at
the mottled brown-and-yellow planet on the view screen.
Minerva suppressed the desire to roll her eyes. "Absolutely,
b'wana. I've run the scans a dozen times from a dozen different
orbits. It *could* have been Earth, but never made it. Stellar
positions say it's the late 20th Century, but the planet is all
bare rock and reducing atmosphere, with a surface temperature to
rival Venus'. And no evidence of even the building blocks of
life." She glanced at the view screen, and the image shimmered
through several successive magnifications until they were staring
at a weathered mountain chain that bore a faint resemblance to
the islands of Japan. "It's dead, Jim."
"*Very* funny, Min. Besides, you're a lot easier on the eyes
than DeForest Kelly ever was." He frowned and stood up. Turning
around, he walked over to an incongruous pole of wood and crystal
that seemed to grow organically from the metal floor of the room.
Merged with the very structure of the Calypso by the near-
immortal elf-mage Valanna Ellantora (formerly the dimensional
traveler known as Twister), it controlled the starship's semi-
random transfers from universe to universe. "Now, why did you
bring us *here*?" he mused out loud. "What the hell is there for
me to do or learn on a sterile and poisonous alternate Earth?"
He shook his head. "It's got to be a mistake. Min, prepare for
rotation, random setting."
She clasped her palms together, closed her eyes and bowed at the
waist. "Inshallah, it shall be as you ask, o mighty Sultan."
"Min..." Ed mock-growled, and Minerva unbent, a playful grin on
her face.
"Destination set, boss. Ready to rotate on your mark," she said.
He gave one last, long glance at the screen. "Rotate, girl."
Nothing happened.
"Um, boss?" Minerva began tentatively.
Ed didn't turn away from the screen. "That damned staff isn't
letting us move, is it?"
"In a word, no."
He swore softly while rubbing the scar on his forehead.
"You could kick it, if it'd make you feel better," Min offered.
"And pull back a smoking stub where my foot used to be," Ed
chuckled, then sighed. "I don't think that'd do us much good,
pretty lady. And I'm half afraid it'd piss the thing off." He
shook his head with a wry smile. "So I think I'll go catch some
much-needed shut-eye."
"Good," Minerva muttered, sotto voce, and Ed attempted to ignore
her with dignity.
"Wake me if anything develops," he added as he headed for his
stateroom.
* * *
*Boss! BOSS! WAKE UP!*
Minerva's panicked cry cut right through the leaden haze of his
sleep, jolting him awake and to his feet almost before he was
aware of it. "Min! What's wrong, girl?" he called to the empty
air as he unthinkingly flung himself out the stateroom door and
into the passageway that lead to the Calypso's bridge.
*Energy surge, b'wana, a *big* one! The signature looks a little
like one of Twister's dimension-hopping spells.*
"Seems like we have visitors, then," Ed replied as he ran down
the hallway. "How far away, Min? Same orbit? Higher?"
*No, Boss!* the panic in her mental voice escalated. *The surge
is coming from Cargo 7!*
Ed skidded to a halt. "*What?*"
*Energy scan spiking right now, Boss! There's a gate opening up
in the middle of the floor!*
Ed took off again. "I'm there, baby."
The cargo bays were farther away than the bridge, but one of the
benefits of a dimensionally transcendent craft is that nothing is
ever *too* far away. Ed arrived at the control booth for Cargo
Bay 7 in less than a minute. The door was dogged open, and
Minerva stood just inside. "They're still coming through," she
whispered as he slid into the darkened room.
There was a control booth for each cargo bay and hold in the
ship, a large room with transparent walls set high above the
floor. A foreman and his assistant could operate all the hold's
automated cargo-handling equipment from its control panels. A
ladder and a small elevator connected the booth with the broad
floor it overlooked.
Carefully, Ed stepped up to the angled sheet of transparent
aluminum that formed the booth's main window. He studied the
whirling hole in space-time below and the small, diverse group
that stood in front and to the sides of it. "Min, check me. Am
I seeing what I think I'm seeing?"
(EXCERPT ENDS)
-- Bob
Edit: Replaced text munged during one of the changes in Yuku ownership with properly wrapped text.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
This text file is incomplete, and needs a significant rewrite. Edited to remove most spoilers, but some may still remain. Typos abound. Plot holes exist. Exceedingly short in length. Details have _changed_ since the last edit. The Moon's in the Seventh House, and Jupiter's aligned with Mars. It's raining frogs and blood. Bob Schroeck is actually a Vorlon secret agent. I work for UNIT. Beware dragons.
Read at your own risk.
(EXCERPT BEGINS)
Industrial Might and Logic
in association with
Loon 'n' Toon Productions
proudly present
Legion's Quest: Girls, Girls, Girls
(A Drunkard's Walk Side Story)
by
Whichever of us is foolish enough to claim credit
I. Dinner For How Many?!
George: You know the kind of girls I like. They've got to be
lovers... laughers... dancers...
Edmund: And bonkers.
-- "Blackadder the Third"
"That's not a little girl! That's Godzilla with bangs!"
-- Montana Max
"You're certain?" Ed Becerra stared in baffled fascination at
the mottled brown-and-yellow planet on the view screen.
Minerva suppressed the desire to roll her eyes. "Absolutely,
b'wana. I've run the scans a dozen times from a dozen different
orbits. It *could* have been Earth, but never made it. Stellar
positions say it's the late 20th Century, but the planet is all
bare rock and reducing atmosphere, with a surface temperature to
rival Venus'. And no evidence of even the building blocks of
life." She glanced at the view screen, and the image shimmered
through several successive magnifications until they were staring
at a weathered mountain chain that bore a faint resemblance to
the islands of Japan. "It's dead, Jim."
"*Very* funny, Min. Besides, you're a lot easier on the eyes
than DeForest Kelly ever was." He frowned and stood up. Turning
around, he walked over to an incongruous pole of wood and crystal
that seemed to grow organically from the metal floor of the room.
Merged with the very structure of the Calypso by the near-
immortal elf-mage Valanna Ellantora (formerly the dimensional
traveler known as Twister), it controlled the starship's semi-
random transfers from universe to universe. "Now, why did you
bring us *here*?" he mused out loud. "What the hell is there for
me to do or learn on a sterile and poisonous alternate Earth?"
He shook his head. "It's got to be a mistake. Min, prepare for
rotation, random setting."
She clasped her palms together, closed her eyes and bowed at the
waist. "Inshallah, it shall be as you ask, o mighty Sultan."
"Min..." Ed mock-growled, and Minerva unbent, a playful grin on
her face.
"Destination set, boss. Ready to rotate on your mark," she said.
He gave one last, long glance at the screen. "Rotate, girl."
Nothing happened.
"Um, boss?" Minerva began tentatively.
Ed didn't turn away from the screen. "That damned staff isn't
letting us move, is it?"
"In a word, no."
He swore softly while rubbing the scar on his forehead.
"You could kick it, if it'd make you feel better," Min offered.
"And pull back a smoking stub where my foot used to be," Ed
chuckled, then sighed. "I don't think that'd do us much good,
pretty lady. And I'm half afraid it'd piss the thing off." He
shook his head with a wry smile. "So I think I'll go catch some
much-needed shut-eye."
"Good," Minerva muttered, sotto voce, and Ed attempted to ignore
her with dignity.
"Wake me if anything develops," he added as he headed for his
stateroom.
* * *
*Boss! BOSS! WAKE UP!*
Minerva's panicked cry cut right through the leaden haze of his
sleep, jolting him awake and to his feet almost before he was
aware of it. "Min! What's wrong, girl?" he called to the empty
air as he unthinkingly flung himself out the stateroom door and
into the passageway that lead to the Calypso's bridge.
*Energy surge, b'wana, a *big* one! The signature looks a little
like one of Twister's dimension-hopping spells.*
"Seems like we have visitors, then," Ed replied as he ran down
the hallway. "How far away, Min? Same orbit? Higher?"
*No, Boss!* the panic in her mental voice escalated. *The surge
is coming from Cargo 7!*
Ed skidded to a halt. "*What?*"
*Energy scan spiking right now, Boss! There's a gate opening up
in the middle of the floor!*
Ed took off again. "I'm there, baby."
The cargo bays were farther away than the bridge, but one of the
benefits of a dimensionally transcendent craft is that nothing is
ever *too* far away. Ed arrived at the control booth for Cargo
Bay 7 in less than a minute. The door was dogged open, and
Minerva stood just inside. "They're still coming through," she
whispered as he slid into the darkened room.
There was a control booth for each cargo bay and hold in the
ship, a large room with transparent walls set high above the
floor. A foreman and his assistant could operate all the hold's
automated cargo-handling equipment from its control panels. A
ladder and a small elevator connected the booth with the broad
floor it overlooked.
Carefully, Ed stepped up to the angled sheet of transparent
aluminum that formed the booth's main window. He studied the
whirling hole in space-time below and the small, diverse group
that stood in front and to the sides of it. "Min, check me. Am
I seeing what I think I'm seeing?"
(EXCERPT ENDS)
-- Bob
Edit: Replaced text munged during one of the changes in Yuku ownership with properly wrapped text.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.