Disturbing Implications of Land Rising into the Sky

[M Fnord]

Hexagram 46 - Pushing Upwards (Ascending), Earth over Wind
Pushing Upward has supreme success.
One must see the great man.
Fear not.
Departure toward the south
Brings good fortune.
Within the earth, wood grows:
The image of Pushing Upward.
Thus the superior man of devoted character
Heaps up small things
In order to achieve something high and great.
Earth Orbit
Altitude: 250 km
Inclination: 51.5 degrees
Ground Track: Just south of Pensacola, FL
Skimming the atmosphere, the valiant research vessel USSR Ptichka drifted in a low parking orbit across the Gulf of Mexico. Having just taken on loads for a NASA contract, the crew were finishing strapping down the last of the gear, stowing the groceries and otherwise getting ready for the long haul out to Saturn. On the flight deck, the commander was engaged in Serious Business.
"Steve, listen." Mal said into the phone for what felt like the fifth time that day. "You've got to face facts: we don't have the room. Between the instrument packages for Titan, the powerpacks for Cassini, the communications relays, the launch cradles for the communications relays *and* the Imax cameras, our cargo bay is *packed.* If you want us to haul more gear out, you're going to have to pay for an external cargo pod... Double, maybe triple the current contract... Maybe it's robbery, but we've got bills to pay, too."
Alert lights flashed on the control panel. "Uh, Mal."
"Hold that thought, Steve." Mal muted the phone and looked over at Elena. "What is it?"
"We've got a launch indication coming up on our track."
Mal looked a bit puzzled. "So? Launching things into orbit is the new taste sensation sweeping the country."
Elena tapped at the laptop bolted to the center of the console and pointed at the display. "Yeah, but *that's* gorram different."
Mal looked at the display, taking a few seconds to process the numbers. Very calmly, he unmuted the phone and said, "Something just came up, Steve. I'll call you back later," and hung up without an acknowledgement. "Christ on a pogostick," he muttered. "That's insane. Where's it coming from?"
Elena looked at the ground track. "Uh. West Virginia?"
"Really? Huh. I thought Flint's crew were trying to build a time machine, not a worldship."
"Guys!" Shad called from the aft station on the flight deck. "NORAD just lit up like a Christmas tree! Air defense radars, squadrons scrambling all up and down the eastern seaboard.. and I *think* they might just have turned on the NMD battery at Andrews. What the hell's going on down there?"
"Somebody just launched something motherfucking huge," Mal replied. "What's it's altitude?"
Elena focused on radar returns. "About 5000 meters, rising steadily but not very fast."
"Collision threat?"
"Probably not." Elena ran the figures through her head. "We'll be almost directly overhead when it breaks atmo, but not for very long."
Mal looked thoughtful. "Almost directly overhead, huh? Hm..." Switched on the intercom. "Hey, Calc! Get the forward and ventral cameras set to record and aimed. Ptichka'll have the coordinates. And get the site ready for continual updates, we've got something big happening!"
"Stellvia just got the launch indication," Shad said from his station. "*And* they're yelling about it on all frequencies."
The intercom crackled. "I've got the cameras aimed," said Calc. "And... oh my, that's a big one, isn't it?"
"That is is. Keep filming! And call Kandor, get them to throw another server on the pipe, we're gonna get hits tonight!"---
Mr. Fnord
http://fnord.sandwich.net/
http://www.jihad.net/
Mr. Fnord interdimensional man of mystery

FenWiki - Your One-Stop Shop for Fenspace Information

"I. Drink. Your. NERDRAGE!"