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[STORY] Minor boskonian war bit.

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[STORY] Minor boskonian war bit.
robkelk Offline
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Re: reply to story bit
#3
03-27-2007, 03:26 AM
Quote:
first of all, get rid of the last line. That's just . . . it's just so "oh, curse the heavens for the fate that we stoic warriors must endure!" mawkish.
Can't agree with you, Murmur - that last line is what makes the story work in Fenspace, IMHO.
Very nice work, KJ - I look forward to reading more of this...

-Rob Kelk
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Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
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Messages In This Thread
[STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by KJ - 03-27-2007, 01:17 AM
reply to story bit - by Murmur the Fallen - 03-27-2007, 02:10 AM
Re: reply to story bit - by robkelk - 03-27-2007, 03:26 AM
Re: reply to story bit - by KJ - 03-27-2007, 05:08 AM
Re: reply to story bit - by Kokuten - 03-27-2007, 09:53 AM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by Kokuten - 03-28-2007, 09:14 AM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by Kokuten - 04-04-2007, 05:42 AM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by robkelk - 04-21-2007, 04:16 AM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by KJ - 05-30-2007, 08:41 PM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by M Fnord - 05-30-2007, 09:02 PM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by KJ - 05-30-2007, 09:44 PM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by M Fnord - 05-30-2007, 10:15 PM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by KJ - 05-30-2007, 10:51 PM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by M Fnord - 05-30-2007, 11:05 PM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by KJ - 05-30-2007, 11:22 PM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by M Fnord - 05-30-2007, 11:32 PM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by KJ - 05-30-2007, 11:46 PM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by M Fnord - 05-30-2007, 11:58 PM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by M Fnord - 05-31-2007, 12:40 AM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by KJ - 05-31-2007, 01:09 AM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by KJ - 05-31-2007, 01:13 AM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by Vangeek - 06-01-2007, 02:29 AM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by KJ - 06-01-2007, 05:30 AM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by Vangeek - 06-01-2007, 05:08 PM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by KJ - 06-01-2007, 09:30 PM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by Kokuten - 06-02-2007, 12:00 AM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by robkelk - 06-23-2007, 12:18 AM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by KJ - 06-23-2007, 02:07 AM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by KJ - 06-24-2007, 12:15 AM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by Vangeek - 07-01-2007, 04:32 AM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by Kokuten - 07-01-2007, 04:35 AM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by KJ - 07-01-2007, 07:32 AM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by Vangeek - 07-02-2007, 03:34 AM
Re: [STORY] Minor boskonian war bit. - by KJ - 07-02-2007, 06:06 PM

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