Quote:Shinji sat down and listened as his options were explained to him, trying desperately not to be distracted by the assortment of guns, including what looked like a glass bazooka. The fact that it was the full-armour Jet just made it worse. A warrior, in a room full of exotic firearms and weaponry.
He tried not to get distracted. He tried to pay attention. She sat opposite him, framed by a pair of exotic looking rifles, trying her best to first calmly explain to him just how big the 'Evangelion' fandom was.
The idea that all of Japan, along with parts of the rest of the world, and plenty of those who lived off it knew exactly who he was and what he had done was terrifying.
It was like being naked before the universe with little Shinji swinging in the cold breeze.
There was a sub-forum on a fan-forum already dedicated solely to him, posters searching for any possible scrap of information on him and where he lived. There were fora for Gina, and for Rei too. There was a search for other Evangelion characters.
His jaw hung wide open....
"I'm more famous than Caimoa Nan."
Jet blinked. "Who?"
"The man who ..... did something that never happened."
How would anyone know the name of the man who discovered the object that became the Second Impact?
Shinji was deep into wishing he could find a deep, dark place hidden in some corner of the asteroid. Sure, all that popularity would be great for someone like Gina who adored attention, but for someone like him..
Something inside him retreated away out of the room a she started to explain what he'd been offered. They'd all gathered up and planned out his futures for him, and all that was left was for him to choose which.
A little angry demon demanded that he scream it back in her face.
"But.... I've only been here three days, and now I'm expected to decide what I'm supposed to do for the rest of my life?"
It didn't sound as petulant as he wanted it to.... it almost sounded pathetic.
"Not the rest of your life..... " she assured him. "These're just ideas anyway, an idea of what's possible, to give you something to stand on so you don't feel overwhelmed."
Shinji sat there with his hands clasped together on the table, feeling completely overwhelmed at it all. Jet was huge in the armour, while he shrank down into his chair. He tried to remind himself that she was really just trying to be 'responsible' for him and do the right thing.... he felt a small pang of guilt bite as he thought about that bike-ride when he'd gone off on her.
Shinji looked up at her, waiting for him to says something. He could feel it in the back of his throat rising up, but the horrifying spectre of ruining his entire future quelled the fire.
She was patiently waiting for him to make his decision, there and now.... and he barely even knew what he was deciding.
"Well," she decided to fill the silence. " I started as one of those petty villains who're more nuisance than threat from a filler-episode of a Saturday morning superhero cartoon." There was a light of mischief on behind her eyes. "Then I became a maintenance engineer for a major space station. After that, two weeks as a research subject. Then I started training as a martial artist. For a few months, I was a secure courier, doing Yankee Doodle Pigeon stuff dodging Boskone hunter-killer squadrons. I flew all the way out to Nemesis, over a light-year out. I set a land-speed record for motorcycles in 2015. I worked as a space combat instructor for the Roughriders for three years and qualified as a combat pilot, and spacecraft." A pause. "Now, I'm a martial arts instructor.... we run a combat training centre out here to teach people how to defend their homes, or just shoot at each other for fun with marker rounds. Oh, and sell a few mechanical toys to gearheads who like to deliberately avoid the mainstream."
And all without breathing. And with a self-satisfied smile on her face.
"You've done a lot."
She nodded. "I've had that privilege. And in the future, I might try my hand at being a popular singer, or a lingerie designer, writing a book, or even building a Gundam..... or whatever comes up." Her shoulders shrugged. "My point is, whatever you choose to do, there's no reason you have to do it for the next hundred years. Especially if you don't like it."
Shinji
"But.... I can't decide this now. I mean... not now when three days ago I...." Watched the world end. "Didn't even exist, and I still don't know who any of these people really are or what they work for."
Jet actually seemed surprised. She blinked at him, taking a double-take as her mental train visibly derailed.
"Nobody's expecting you to decide right away, on the spot. That'd be bleeding stupid. You've got as much time as you need, really. And if you want to know more about what to do, you can just talk to them and ask. They'll be here for a few more days."
Shinji exhaled an obviously relieved sigh. The hotseat cooled down. His leg stopped shaking under the table. He was no-longer the one in the spotlight.
"Ben also offered me a position as a pilot in the Roughriders."
"You want to do that?"
Shinji swallowed the real answer.
"I don't even know what it involves. But Asuka's there and I do like going fast."
Jet just shrugged her shoulders. "If that's what you want to do, I'm not going to stop you."
Shinji grimaced.
"But.... maybe you could tell me what it means, since you worked there."
"It means you take a tour of duty for three years, answering distress calls from any settlement or ship that gets attacked by pirates, and fight them off. Or take on drug-runners and the last remaining Boskone still clinging on in the dark part of the solar system. And in between that, have a hell of a lot of fun training, or joining the race team, or just hanging out with the squadron. And when it's done, you have three years on your C.V. that almost any faction will look at favourably, if you don't want to go career."
"But. being a pilot means I might have to go into combat then. I don't want to fight."
No. Way. In. Hell.
"Fair enough. You can tell Ben your don't want to do it so."
She seemed almost unconcerned, as if the answer should be obvious. It was, wasn't it? You don't want to do that Shinji, do you? You're just looking for an excuse to say no.
"I..... He was being generous, it's not right."
He looked down at his own reflection on the table surface, which seemed to stare right back at him. He thought, for a moment, that he almost looked frightened like a puppy expecting to have his nose rubbed in it.
He knew he was looking for an excuse not to say it to Benjamin's face, but didn't care.
"I doubt he wants to force you to do something you don't want to do eithe. He'll understand an accept that it's your decision Shinji, trust me..... he'll respect you far more for that than if he finds you just went along to be polite."
Shinji nodded, still feeling sick at the thought that he might come across as rude.
"And if he doesn't," Jet continued "I'll kick his arse. And I can kick fucking hard."
For a moment, Shinji thought she was about to show him for good measure, but she clearly thought better of it. Instead, she gave him an almost cocky grin, with a sparking gleam in her eyes that told him she meant every word of it.
"No. I'll tell him later," Shinji answered, in a small voice.
He found himself giving her a faint smile, despite his best intentions.
Writing Shinji's profile.... hmmm. I know what makes him unique.
And something from the cutting room floor I found, as Anika explains to Shinji what the darkside of Mads is:
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Flint was a mad....
Mads are people who get lost in their mind. They get so deep into their projects that they forget everything, except for the goal at the end of the tunnel. They go right to the madness place where nothing matters but the result. It's like a laser of the mind.
Flint never saw me as a living person. He never understood that I was anything more than a sapiency driver for his battroid. He couldn't... all he saw was what the machine was going to be.
And when I tried to break out, he treated me like a malfunctioning part. I know he reset my mind, because I left a recording for myself in case he ever did it. He practically destroyed another person, all for the sake of making progress on the project.
And when I escaped, he treated me as little more than a malfunctioning machine.... a rogue drone. He sent a group of mercenaries to recover me.
They rescued me instead.
Nobody here is Mad. Well...Mackie might be close. They can be obsessive at times, or reckless, but I've never seen them go to the madness place like where Flint did.
I can never trust a Mad.... especially the male ones. I can tolerate some I know better... but I need someone near me and I'm never comfortable. They might be a good person normally, and you can tell me that and I'd believe you rationally and I'd never say any of this to their faces, but I can't shake the feeling that they're all just one obsession away from an atrocity.
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--m(^0^)m-- Wot, no sig?