Mind you, that would be one *seriously* handwaved cat. Also, feeding the cat is relatively trivial. It's feeding the *toast* that gives people nightmares.
{The man was shuddering, on his knees, sobbing in desperation. "I have to feed the toast. No. You don't understand. I *have* to *feed* the *toast*. Why won't anybody *listen* to me?"}
No one really understands how the drive works. They don't understand how the cat and toast keep spinning in midair, they don't understand why the cat is so relaxed about the whole experience. They *really* don't understand how this has *anything* to do with moving a ship from point A to point B. It sure does go fast, though.
also...
Wireless mice.
Yet another one from the "Anything you can do, i can do better!" files. They're a bunch of mice that he's hooked up to wi-fi. They're small, furry, cute, and have been teaching themselves Perl. No one's *entirely* sure how smart they are, but those in the know have a pool on how long it'll be before they make their first significant contribution to the Linux kernel. When not online, they can generally be found breaking into food storage, nibbling on the furniture, and leaving little mouse pellets in the silverware drawer.
and...
Genetic extractor. The ultimate in reproductive technology. Given two living beings, it will extract a bit of material from the one, extract a bit of material from the other, and do its damndest to mix the two together and make a baby. Well, realistically, to mix the two together *with a lot of handwavium* and make a baby. It does require the traditional nine months to gestate. The professor guarantees that the result will be sentient if both parents were sentient, will be based on whatever scraps of genetic code they may have left, and will be capable of functioning more or less independantly once it reaches maturity. No other guarantees made. Obviously, the baby is coming out with a biomod - probably a fairly extreme one. Likewise, if either of the parents aren't modded when they start, they will be when they finish. Also, in exchange for the favor, the good professor is likely to ask you to help him out on a few projects, and he's likely to take an interest in the kid as it grows up. On the other hand, well, it's a way to have a kid. For some folks, who've taken a bit too much of the wrong guacamole, it's the *only* way to have a kid, and really, from the Professor's perspective, that's the point. Anyone who has such a biomod is *obviously* pro-handwavium. He *likes* it when people like that breed.
and to borrow one from Narbonic... The gerbil inseminator. It looks like a ray-gun of some sort. This is useful from an intimidation standpoint. If the truth ever comes out, though...
"That's not a laser pistol! That's a just a gerbil inseminator!"
"I admit it. You're right. Still, it's probably worth considering... Do *you* want to be pregnant with gerbils?"
{The man was shuddering, on his knees, sobbing in desperation. "I have to feed the toast. No. You don't understand. I *have* to *feed* the *toast*. Why won't anybody *listen* to me?"}
No one really understands how the drive works. They don't understand how the cat and toast keep spinning in midair, they don't understand why the cat is so relaxed about the whole experience. They *really* don't understand how this has *anything* to do with moving a ship from point A to point B. It sure does go fast, though.
also...
Wireless mice.
Yet another one from the "Anything you can do, i can do better!" files. They're a bunch of mice that he's hooked up to wi-fi. They're small, furry, cute, and have been teaching themselves Perl. No one's *entirely* sure how smart they are, but those in the know have a pool on how long it'll be before they make their first significant contribution to the Linux kernel. When not online, they can generally be found breaking into food storage, nibbling on the furniture, and leaving little mouse pellets in the silverware drawer.
and...
Genetic extractor. The ultimate in reproductive technology. Given two living beings, it will extract a bit of material from the one, extract a bit of material from the other, and do its damndest to mix the two together and make a baby. Well, realistically, to mix the two together *with a lot of handwavium* and make a baby. It does require the traditional nine months to gestate. The professor guarantees that the result will be sentient if both parents were sentient, will be based on whatever scraps of genetic code they may have left, and will be capable of functioning more or less independantly once it reaches maturity. No other guarantees made. Obviously, the baby is coming out with a biomod - probably a fairly extreme one. Likewise, if either of the parents aren't modded when they start, they will be when they finish. Also, in exchange for the favor, the good professor is likely to ask you to help him out on a few projects, and he's likely to take an interest in the kid as it grows up. On the other hand, well, it's a way to have a kid. For some folks, who've taken a bit too much of the wrong guacamole, it's the *only* way to have a kid, and really, from the Professor's perspective, that's the point. Anyone who has such a biomod is *obviously* pro-handwavium. He *likes* it when people like that breed.
and to borrow one from Narbonic... The gerbil inseminator. It looks like a ray-gun of some sort. This is useful from an intimidation standpoint. If the truth ever comes out, though...
"That's not a laser pistol! That's a just a gerbil inseminator!"
"I admit it. You're right. Still, it's probably worth considering... Do *you* want to be pregnant with gerbils?"