A note before we begin, to clear up some Confusion that I missed 'cause I'm something of a dumbass: The subpoena is strictly for the person named, nobody else has been called to testify or is in immediate danger thereof.
Now, on with the program. Strategy meeting!
Conference Room 1
Korolev Air Force Base
13 March 2014 15:00 GMT
"Allright, kids," Mal said. "GLaDOS filled you in on what happened this afternoon. Here's some more details. I just got off the phone with Noah, he's offered to lend us a frat buddy as legal counsel. Philosopher Bob from the Institute has *also* offered us assistance. I told them we'd take it under advisement."
"How'd he take the news?" Sora asked.
Mal shrugged. "About the way he takes any bad news."
"Panic?" KJ said, not *quite* making it a statement of fact.
"In that understated way of his, yeah. I'm sure he's running through doomsday scenarios as we speak instead of trying to remember his vows." Mal rolled his eyes. "He'll come out of it soon enough, but keep it in mind.
"Now. You lot are my trusted advisors, so advise me. What's our standing on this subpoena?"
"Diplomatically it's a tight spot," Kat noted gloomily. "If we blow this off, that's an international incident. If we show up and tell the truth, that's an international incident. And if we show up and *lie*, it's an international incident once they figure out they've been had.
Mal nodded thoughtfully. "So we're screwed in all directions. How are we standing legally?"
"As a faction leader with no other citizenship ties," Calc said, "you're technically granted immunity ratione materiae under the terms of the Kandor treaty as an incumbent Head of State. In fact, that goes for everybody in the room right now except Sora."
"Are there any loopholes?"
"A few, but nothing Kellerman can exploit from where he's standing. In theory he could request the World Court to intervene - and we might end up there before this thing is through - but Kellerman's got enough Bircher in him that *that's* not on the table. He could try and withdraw from Kandor, but he doesn't have enough pull to make that happen."
"That could change depending on what happens Monday," Zib noted. "If we ruffle the wrong feathers Kellerman's support could go up."
"Right, but even *if* that happens it won't happen fast," said Kat. "That might mean our best option is just to tell the truth and roll with the punches."
Sora raised her hand. "Question."
"Yes, Lieutenant?"
"What's all this about?"
The Central Committee looked at each other. "Well," said Zib, "it's old business coming home to roost."
"Do you remember how NASA unveiled their refit shuttle fleet over the winter?" Kat asked.
Sora nodded. "I remember reading about it at Delta Pavonis. It was a little odd, since I thought only TSAB was allowed access to handwavium in the US."
"Oh, they are," Zib assured her. "It's just that we helped NASA get their hands on a supply."
"Oh."
KJ shrugged. "It was the right thing to do."
"Speaking of the right thing to do," said Mal, "has this hit the public yet?"
Calc shook his head. "Not as far as I know."
"Hm." Mal leaned back in his chair. "How about we make it public? Do a press release in the next hour or so, just in time for the evening news. Something like, ah, 'Soviet Air Force-In-Exile Meets With Congress: Today General Malaclypse Fnord, leader of the Soviet Air Force, agreed to meet with the United States Congress Joint Committee on Extraterrestrial Security in the interest of international cooperation-' he said with just a bit of a chortle '-to discuss the future of America's civil space program and its role in Fenspace.' And on and on, you know what I mean."
The central committee members all snickered. Sora looked a little confused. "I don't get it," she said. "Why put out a press release like that, isn't that drawing attention to the fact that Mal's been subpoenaed?"
"It does," Zib replied, "but that's our opening move. Kellerman's trying to open from a position of strength, so our job is to *undermine* it."
Calc nodded. "If we start making noise about how we're graciously deigning to let Kellerman waste our head of state's time in an inquiry and that we expect nothing but good things from these 'discussions,' it changes the dynamic."
"Now instead of looking like a naughty schoolboy facing the principal," Zib added, "it's a meeting of equals."
"It's kind of a nasty trick to force a fight in the arena of public opinion," Mal noted, "but I'm not feeling charitable."
Next episode: Mal catches a plane and meets some ninjas.
Mr. Fnord interdimensional man of mystery
FenWiki - Your One-Stop Shop for Fenspace Information
"I. Drink. Your. NERDRAGE!"
Now, on with the program. Strategy meeting!
Conference Room 1
Korolev Air Force Base
13 March 2014 15:00 GMT
"Allright, kids," Mal said. "GLaDOS filled you in on what happened this afternoon. Here's some more details. I just got off the phone with Noah, he's offered to lend us a frat buddy as legal counsel. Philosopher Bob from the Institute has *also* offered us assistance. I told them we'd take it under advisement."
"How'd he take the news?" Sora asked.
Mal shrugged. "About the way he takes any bad news."
"Panic?" KJ said, not *quite* making it a statement of fact.
"In that understated way of his, yeah. I'm sure he's running through doomsday scenarios as we speak instead of trying to remember his vows." Mal rolled his eyes. "He'll come out of it soon enough, but keep it in mind.
"Now. You lot are my trusted advisors, so advise me. What's our standing on this subpoena?"
"Diplomatically it's a tight spot," Kat noted gloomily. "If we blow this off, that's an international incident. If we show up and tell the truth, that's an international incident. And if we show up and *lie*, it's an international incident once they figure out they've been had.
Mal nodded thoughtfully. "So we're screwed in all directions. How are we standing legally?"
"As a faction leader with no other citizenship ties," Calc said, "you're technically granted immunity ratione materiae under the terms of the Kandor treaty as an incumbent Head of State. In fact, that goes for everybody in the room right now except Sora."
"Are there any loopholes?"
"A few, but nothing Kellerman can exploit from where he's standing. In theory he could request the World Court to intervene - and we might end up there before this thing is through - but Kellerman's got enough Bircher in him that *that's* not on the table. He could try and withdraw from Kandor, but he doesn't have enough pull to make that happen."
"That could change depending on what happens Monday," Zib noted. "If we ruffle the wrong feathers Kellerman's support could go up."
"Right, but even *if* that happens it won't happen fast," said Kat. "That might mean our best option is just to tell the truth and roll with the punches."
Sora raised her hand. "Question."
"Yes, Lieutenant?"
"What's all this about?"
The Central Committee looked at each other. "Well," said Zib, "it's old business coming home to roost."
"Do you remember how NASA unveiled their refit shuttle fleet over the winter?" Kat asked.
Sora nodded. "I remember reading about it at Delta Pavonis. It was a little odd, since I thought only TSAB was allowed access to handwavium in the US."
"Oh, they are," Zib assured her. "It's just that we helped NASA get their hands on a supply."
"Oh."
KJ shrugged. "It was the right thing to do."
"Speaking of the right thing to do," said Mal, "has this hit the public yet?"
Calc shook his head. "Not as far as I know."
"Hm." Mal leaned back in his chair. "How about we make it public? Do a press release in the next hour or so, just in time for the evening news. Something like, ah, 'Soviet Air Force-In-Exile Meets With Congress: Today General Malaclypse Fnord, leader of the Soviet Air Force, agreed to meet with the United States Congress Joint Committee on Extraterrestrial Security in the interest of international cooperation-' he said with just a bit of a chortle '-to discuss the future of America's civil space program and its role in Fenspace.' And on and on, you know what I mean."
The central committee members all snickered. Sora looked a little confused. "I don't get it," she said. "Why put out a press release like that, isn't that drawing attention to the fact that Mal's been subpoenaed?"
"It does," Zib replied, "but that's our opening move. Kellerman's trying to open from a position of strength, so our job is to *undermine* it."
Calc nodded. "If we start making noise about how we're graciously deigning to let Kellerman waste our head of state's time in an inquiry and that we expect nothing but good things from these 'discussions,' it changes the dynamic."
"Now instead of looking like a naughty schoolboy facing the principal," Zib added, "it's a meeting of equals."
"It's kind of a nasty trick to force a fight in the arena of public opinion," Mal noted, "but I'm not feeling charitable."
Next episode: Mal catches a plane and meets some ninjas.
Mr. Fnord interdimensional man of mystery
FenWiki - Your One-Stop Shop for Fenspace Information
"I. Drink. Your. NERDRAGE!"