Well, let's take it from the top:
You're trying to sell me on the idea that this dude is the slickest thing since the Old Spice Guy, and I'm not buying it. All I'm seeing is a Mary Sue writ large: he's a lover, he's a fighter, a supergenius, generous to his friends and ruthless to his enemies, knows all sorts of KICKASS martial arts and pilots giant robots for a living, his moral compass is always pointed towards Good and he's kind to children and old ladies.
BA I am dissappoint. I expected more from you, no, I expected better from you than this mish-mash of cliches and stock fandom stereotypes. If you must - absolutely must! - detail out the lives of the next-generation Roughriders out way past the line where we'll ever get in terms of story, then for Xenu's sake make them into real people. Don't throw me this "well, Mikhail is the awesomest awesome who ever awesomed" folderol and expect me to smile and nod my head. I may be distracted, but I'm not bloody stupid.
(As an aside, the constant capitalization of 'Mother' and 'Father' adds a really weird subtext to the biography, as if Mikhail is some sort of cultist who wandered in off the street.)
That's a start. Where you want to take this is up to you, but if I were you I'd go and take a long, hard look at what you want this character to be, and how you want to get there.
--Gordon Ramsay
Mr. Fnord interdimensional man of mystery
FenWiki - Your One-Stop Shop for Fenspace Information
"I. Drink. Your. NERDRAGE!"
Quote:|known_for = Balls-out Awesome Sucessor to his Old Man.
Quote:Like his Mother, Mikhail is actually an infomorph born as an infant bio-android. As such, he doesn't have anything so much as quirks, but abilities instead.
Quote:In a nutshell, Mikhail is a fighter and a showboat. If Domon Kashu were to be born amongst the Fen, it would be as this person.
Quote:As a leader, he is is Father, two-fold. He is loud, but not Haruhi-loud. He is charisma incarnate. His voice is known for cutting through noise like a tangible thing and forcing itself to be heard.
You're trying to sell me on the idea that this dude is the slickest thing since the Old Spice Guy, and I'm not buying it. All I'm seeing is a Mary Sue writ large: he's a lover, he's a fighter, a supergenius, generous to his friends and ruthless to his enemies, knows all sorts of KICKASS martial arts and pilots giant robots for a living, his moral compass is always pointed towards Good and he's kind to children and old ladies.
BA I am dissappoint. I expected more from you, no, I expected better from you than this mish-mash of cliches and stock fandom stereotypes. If you must - absolutely must! - detail out the lives of the next-generation Roughriders out way past the line where we'll ever get in terms of story, then for Xenu's sake make them into real people. Don't throw me this "well, Mikhail is the awesomest awesome who ever awesomed" folderol and expect me to smile and nod my head. I may be distracted, but I'm not bloody stupid.
(As an aside, the constant capitalization of 'Mother' and 'Father' adds a really weird subtext to the biography, as if Mikhail is some sort of cultist who wandered in off the street.)
That's a start. Where you want to take this is up to you, but if I were you I'd go and take a long, hard look at what you want this character to be, and how you want to get there.
--Gordon Ramsay
Mr. Fnord interdimensional man of mystery
FenWiki - Your One-Stop Shop for Fenspace Information
"I. Drink. Your. NERDRAGE!"