M Fnord Wrote:Last bit of the rewrite stuffSpeaking of rewrites, I assume you've already handled this, but... Noah wouldn't fly quite so far off the handle as he did in the first version of the story. There, he's under the impression that the entire VVS has been summoned to Washington, which means he thinks Sora's been summoned to Washington, and that sets the "overprotective father" flag. Since I'm reasonably sure that Mal will mention he's the only one that's going to D.C. when Noah talks with him, that flag doesn't get set. Yes, Noah will still offer the services of his D.C. lawyer - he's starting to actually like Mal at this point to go along with the respect he's had for a "fellow faction leader" - but he won't be as pushy about the offer.
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Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012