Folks, I still have a file with all the snippets up to the thread-bump sorted into a story skeleton. I'll put this together.
What we really need are some more scenes of ground action - a scene that lets the Fen know exactly what the Boskos are after (either somebody overhears the initial orders given when they breach the perimeter and relays a recording to the Con staff, or the invaders make a direct announcement of some sort), followed by many scenes of civilian-evac and "fighting in the hallways", including Kara's death scene. A few scenes of space combat wouldn't be amiss, either.
Don't worry about them fitting (or not fitting) together. This is going to be a prime example of the fog of war; some disjointedness is acceptable.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
What we really need are some more scenes of ground action - a scene that lets the Fen know exactly what the Boskos are after (either somebody overhears the initial orders given when they breach the perimeter and relays a recording to the Con staff, or the invaders make a direct announcement of some sort), followed by many scenes of civilian-evac and "fighting in the hallways", including Kara's death scene. A few scenes of space combat wouldn't be amiss, either.
Don't worry about them fitting (or not fitting) together. This is going to be a prime example of the fog of war; some disjointedness is acceptable.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012