Cobalt Greywalker Wrote:*snerk*Quote:‘Fired Death Star, got purring catgirl’
Ha! I see Jeff getting that on a t-shirt.
Some proofing for you, Rogge:
Not that Cathy would disagree, she was trying to make the catgirls take their personal security more serious too.
(I'd recommend 'seriously as well' at the end there. too to as well is optional, serious to seriously is strongly recommended)
But personal training was not that popular as building more hardware gadgets.
('Not as' works better than 'not that')
“Oh, just a few days I think” Lisa said and smiled. We already have most
(need a fresh opening quote in front of We to make it clear that its the resumption of Lisa's speech)
you already mist a few of them
(technically should be you've instead, but given its Cathy speaking it can be accepted as part of her personal speech pattern. mist, however, needs to be missed)
They didn’t hacked into enemy systems, they didn’t wrote up firewall code, hunter killer bots for active defense or brought rouge AIs to justice.
(verb tense here, your describing things they are in the process of doing, not have done. hack instead of hacked, write instead of wrote, bring instead of brought. also recommend 'create' or 'fight' in front of the H-K bots to make clear what it is they're not doing in that respect)
His boss nodded. “Exactly. That’s why I suppose to ask them instead of starting a secret investigation. I just need a volunteer to do so.”
(propose instead of suppose)
“Maybe I can borrow some Stormtroopers at home?
(from instead of at)
Jeff blinked a few times. He had expected some excuses, but a downright denial? Did they expect to hide their other heavy weapons behind.
(needs more after behind, such as 'their laser purchase')
“You need one of this spacesuits with a floating harness” Cathy told Jeff, “the next modules has sometimes hard vacuum inside, and it does not produce artificial gravity. Without the suit you cannot enter it.”
(recommend maneuvering instead of floating. given the lack of gravity, floating already is implied. Or you can decide to ignore me and we can chalk it up to fen English being Cathy's second language)
“I would never have guessed that she build this lightning tower you told me about. Much too nice for something like this.”
(built instead of build)
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children