[Infinities: Candle in the Dark] Thread for CitD (Needs Name)

[Bob Schroeck]

Heh, I like it. But it's not quite ready for primetime yet. You have some verb tense inconsistency -- flipping back and forth between past and present in the narration, for instance -- a lot of tiny punctuation errors ("Let's" always has an apostrophe unless it's a synonym for "allows or permits"), "millennia" is plural and should be "millennium" here, a couple other things. Have a good beta go over it and fix these.
-- Bob
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Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.