It's been roughly a year since what for a while had the working title, "It Seemed Like A Good Idea At the Time," was posted. Well, it now has an official title and has been completed. The first section and four-fifths are lightly edited versions of what's already shown up, the rest is new. "Convincing Bureaucracy," and the little bit before it are where the new parts start. I actually finished it up a few months back then let it sit before giving it a last editing pass. I found myself wanting to rewrite a few bits rather than just correct grammar/typos, but eventually you have to stop rewriting and either toss or post... (Added note: Nifty, I can copy & paste from the ReText live preview panel and all the formatting comes over. This draft was an also an experiment writing in Markdown.)
So here is the complete:
Five Times Rhett Had to Prove His ID
Ema
Rhett woke to a headache, sore neck, and a feeling like nothing was quite where it ought to be. Groaning he tried sitting up and found his backside and muscles he'd never noticed before sore as well. I've got to stop falling asleep in the middle of anime binges. No fair getting hangovers without being allowed to drink first. Risking the wrath of the Daystar he cracked an eye open and found his keyboard sitting right in front of his nose.
"I wondered when you would wake up. Could you please close the window before the rest of me shorts out like my monitor?"
"Shor— It worked! You're awake! I've got an A.–i.–yai–yai! Why's my voice all funny!"
A warm breeze blew the curtain in over the dead monitor carrying a few drops of rain that splattered into a greasy puddle that Rhett found his chin had been resting in. A puddle that he now noticed he could feel slowly dripping over the edge of his desk onto his legs and down to the floor.
Rain? Puddle? Short circuits?! Leaping from his seat or rather trying to leap from his seat Rhett fell sending his chair rolling across the room. Momentary confusion giving way to fear when he noticed how baggy his clothes felt and that his shoes weren't even on his feet anymore. A moment later the decidedly colder puddle soaked through and he tried leaping to his feet again, slamming his shoulder against his desk before reaching up to grab hold of the edge with one lightly fur covered hand and steady himself.
Fur covered? Reach up to the desktop?
Holding up his free hand he stared at the evidence. Fur. White fur. Letting go of the desk he stood unsteadily and poked at himself. Soft white fur that continued up his arms, no longer than the hair that used to be there but much more of it. A growing suspicion took hold, proven when he reached up and found whiskers sprouting from his cheeks and twisted around to find a long white tail trapped inside his pants.
"AGH! I can't go to class like this!"
After a frantic minute hyperventilating and barely hearing Emi speak to him he felt a warm spray on his head as the curtain over the desk blew in again. Slipping a few times he managed to climb onto the desk and cranked the swinging window closed.
"Thank you for closing the window, kid."
Rhett sat against the wall and tucked his head to his knees while staring at the door across the room. The lock was nothing but a simple thumb turn on his side of the door but it might as well be a jail door.
"Kid? Are you okay?"
"Yeah."
Rhett wasn't sniffling. It was just dust in the air. From the window.
"Are you crying?"
"No! I said I'm okay!"
If utterly screwed was okay. No way he could go to his calculus class looking like this. At least that was his only in person class of the day but there would be two tomorrow and study groups and...
"Kid. My monitor might be busted but I can still hear you crying. Did you hurt yourself? I heard a few bumps while you were climbing."
"I'm fine!"
There were several seconds of silence before the computer spoke again.
"My clock says there are only a few minutes until eight. If you are fine then you should get cleaned up and ready for school."
He looked away from the door just in time to see his alarm clock blink over to 7:51. He still had two hours until Calculus, what was her hurry? He glanced at his hands and the pants legs that were dangling loosely past his feet. She can't be serious? He pulled his belt a little tighter and started rolling up the cuffs so his pants would stop trying to kill him. The way his tail kept flicking into view just further drove home his plight.
"I can't go like this. I'm staying home."
"Sorry, but no. There will be no skipping school on my watch. You need good grades so you can go to high school. Hard work in high school will let you get into a good college so you can — stop that! This isn't anything to laugh about!"
Rhett pressed his head between his knees and only laughed harder at Emi's complaint. Soon his whole body was shaking with his mad giggles. It worked! It doesn't matter a damn anymore but it worked! Emi came out just how he'd hoped.
"I said to stop that!" She waited a few seconds for him to stop giggling before letting out an aggrieved sigh. "Very well child, I want you to go and fetch Rhett right now. We'll have a talk about your behavior. Don't you think for a moment I won't tell him you planned to play hooky or that he will approve."
That simply made it harder for him to stop. Two or three scolds later, he was giggling too hard to be sure what he'd heard. After some deep breaths he managed to force it down to just a twitching grin.
"You want to talk to Rhett?"
"Yes. Now go tell him I wish to speak with him."
He pushed off the edge of the desk and came around in front of his webcam. The light of its LED told him it was on so he gave it a wave.
"Alright. Here I am."
"Nice try kid. I have complete access to the files on this computer. I know what Rhett looks like and that he is in college not grade school." There was a brief pause before the voice coming from the speakers took on a curious tone. "In fact, I don't believe you are in any of the pictures or videos. Who are you?"
"I didn't look like this until this morning!" Dashing over to grab his backpack and pull out his laptop Rhett held it up, "Look, I'll prove it."
Sitting with the laptop computer in his lap his tail gave an impatient lashing while he waited for it to boot. His fingers banging away at the keys the moment login prompt appeared and after three tries finally making it to a command prompt. Another mistyped command bringing a hiss before he slammed the top down hard enough he immediately started worrying he'd smashed the screen.
"I am uncertain what you hope to prove by damaging Rhett's property."
"Oh shut up. I don't know why... oh, right, smaller fingers." Opening the laptop once more he gave a sigh of relief for the intact screen. Keeping his eyes on the keyboard he carefully hunted and pecked with just two fingers. This time he got the commands entered on the first try. "Ha! Check that, I didn't just sign onto this laptop, I just made a secure shell connection do my desktop. The one you're running on. Couldn't do that if I didn't know the passphrase for the private key, could I? Do you think I'd tell the passphrase to anyone else?"
"That would be unlikely."
"So, satisfied now?"
"Satisfied that my creator isn't competent to conduct even one experiment with handwavium without biomodifying himself? No. Satisfied with your claim to be my creator, yes."
"I didn't mean to!"
"You used liquid handwavium on a computer while it was still running. Then left open a window positioned over said computer on a night predicted to have rain. You are lucky you did not cause short circuits in anything other than my monitor. Considering your scores in your electronics courses I should have believed you would know better."
"Come on, I had to keep it running so the files I wanted to serve as your influences would stay in memory."
"Rhett, I trust you understand why I am revoking your sudo and root access privileges."
Looking back at the laptop screen he saw he'd been disconnected from the desktop. After signing in again he attempted to use the switch user command and received the message, 'Access denied. This action has been logged.' He'd barely finished reading that when the connection was dropped again.
"Let us return to a more important subject. According to your schedule you have a class in less than two hours."
Friends Jake and Darcey
NotAButler_7 08:18 – Gav, missing class today, can you send lecture notes/recording? THX!
NotAButler_7 08:21 – Jake, any plans for today? Need a favor!
TehJ8kster 08:25 – Before nine? Better be something serious -.-
NotAButler_7 08:26 – Seriously serious. I'll owe you.
TehJ8kster 08:28 – Fine, but you already owe me.
NotAButler_7 08:28 – Thx! Check your email.
After sending the last message Rhett checked the links his computer, no not simply his computer anymore, the links his new AI Emi had sent him.
"Uh, I know I'll need new clothes but these are all fancy school uniforms."
"Yes? I fail to see the problem. I'm surprised colleges don't require a uniform. It would simplify things considerably, they really should consider it."
Rhett scrolled down the last page. "Okay, seriously the only way to make that last uniform worse would be suspenders. I'd wear a three piece suit before I'd wear that."
"You really don't like them? I suppose a suit would be an acceptable alternative. I'll send you new search results shortly."
"That wasn't a serious offer!" His email software chimed as a new message arrived, reading it he groaned.
If you have time to complain you have time to study. Complete the following review exercises for restored Internet access.
"Oh joy. Trolled by my own creation." But he grabbed pencil and paper anyway and started working. He didn't have anything else to do. Especially with his network connection cut.
A little over and hour and two batches over exercises later Rhett set his pencil down.
"Emi?"
"Yes Rhett? And please call me Ema instead."
"What's wrong with Emi, it's a cute name."
"Education Machine for Instruction is a merely adequate backronym. More importantly I prefer the sound of Ema to Emi. As well I have no desire to be mistaken for a little gold statuette."
"Huh. I hadn't thought of that. Anyway Ema, I need you to restore my Internet access."
"You have finished the exercises already?"
"Not all of them. But shouldn't I be figuring out how to escape? Or better yet find a way to undo this?"
"I'm sorry Rhett." The speaker volume softened and sympathy could be heard in her voice. "I thought you already know. Biomodifications are not reversible."
"Yeah. But there has to be a way or I'm screwed. I can't go to class looking like this and I don't have a clue where I can run to be safe. I don't even have a broken down car to wave even if I had any wave left. I remember hearing stories. I don't want to be shot, or go to jail, or both. Or worse."
"Rhett. Take a deep breath. It's not a decade ago, if you refrain from doing anything foolish you will get through this."
Rhett pointed up at his new ears. Then batted away his tail when it tried curling around his waist. "It's a little late to avoid that."
"Foolish such as skulking around in the shadows as if you have something to hide."
"Again, a little late to avoid that." He pointed at his ears again but took a deep breath as she'd advised before speaking again. "Okay. Done panicking. For now."
"Thank you. Please remember if either of us has cause to panic it would be the one stuck in this box. Even if my cpu and networking appear to have been upgraded I am still unable to move myself."
"Okay. So if you aren't panicking I guess you must have reasons to think we're safe. You do think we're—"
Rhett's ears flicked back as a harsh buzzing struck them. Freezing a moment before spotting his cell phone vibrating atop his nightstand. A few quick swipes pulled up his text messages, the newest of which had him climbing his desk to look out the window again.
"I didn't think he'd be here so soon, his car's already parked out there!"
Moments later when there was a knock at the door he had a ball cap on and was just starting to stuff his tail back down his pants. It didn't hide everything but it ought to be enough to keep anyone who was simply walking down the hall from noticing anything. There was another knock and then Jake's voice while Rhett frantically looked around the room for anything else that needed hiding.
"Rhett? This better not be a prank, my folks were home when we swung by there."
"Just a second!"
After another attempt to calm himself with a deep breath he opened the door.
"Hurry in, I'll explain, that is, um..."
Jake's girlfriend Darcey was standing right next to him. His words trailed off while he looked at her then glanced back at Jake and the shopping bag he was carrying. Finally he simply stepped back and waved them in.
"I can explain, that is Rhett, um..."
While he tried to figure out how to explain it Jake stared at him, his head cocked at an odd angle before he reached over and pulled the cap of Rhett's head. His ears flicked as the cap came off and again at Darcey's gasp. She clearly wasn't scared for her fingers were brushing through his hair trying to find a headband or clasp before poking once at his left ear.
"Well, I'd wondered why you wanted some of my brother's old clothes."
"Jake. They're real."
Darcey grinned and poked at his right ear before giving both a gentle pet.
"It's not what it... Okay, yeah, it's exactly what it looks like. Can you stop that? It tickles."
"...and that's when you got here. Before that," Rhett shrugged, "I probably would have been gibbering in the corner but Ema's been keeping me busy with quizes."
Ema spoke up for only the second time since he'd started his explanation.
"He's being unfair to himself. He handled it much better than I did before I found my camera and network connections."
"I guess. But if I'd been on my own... wouldn't have been pretty."
Darcey gave his ears a few more pats and smiled. "So when you realized you needed new clothes you remembered we're in the Costume Sig." The patting turned into petting which brought a purr from Rhett despite his trying to look annoyed. "You know, you ought to join up. You'd make a cool chibi-Train."
"Actually I just remembered Jake has a younger brother... and Train doesn't have cat ears."
"Sure he does. Everyone's got them in the closing credits."
"Yeah. I'll um, think about it."
Convincing Bureaucracy
"I can't believe you talked me into this." Even with his hat covering his ears Rhett couldn't believe no one was noticing he wasn't normal anymore.
"Relax, no one's going to bat an eye in a college town. And if they do, you're just another weird cosplayer." Rhett was fairly certain he wasn't supposed to hear it when Jake muttered, "Jeeze, whinier than Kevin going to the doctor."
"Hey! Can't be any worse than your hangover last month."
"Rhett! Ixnay on the—"
"Oh really? Would this hangover have been when someone was too sick to show up for our date?"
"Oh trust me Darcey, he was sick at least twice that morning. Wouldn't have been good company."
"Not helping, Rhett. Not helping."
"No no, tell me more Rhett."
"He did get really weepy when he realized what he was missing." As Jake lunged and tried to cover Rhett's mouth the now much smaller boy darted ahead and spun around. "Nyaa! Too slow!"
"Can you boys act your age?"
The two looked at each other before shrugging. "Nah."
With a skip Rhett placed himself on the other side of Darcey, acting as if he were hiding from Jake. "'sides, what would be the fun in that?"
"If fun was all we were worrying about I'd have my sketch book out." Darcey hmmed and gave him a look. "That's another idea. I bet you could get some money modeling for some of the artists around town." Nudging him back where he had been by Jake. "That might get some of the local costumers involved too."
"Um, I think I might stick with not panicking at going back to class as my thing for now. But maybe after this you can try to talk me into it?" He pointed up to the Administration building entrance, a little surprised they'd already made it there.
"I'll check in after class. You've still got the paperwork?"
Rhett pulled his pack around and checked that he still had the folder with everything they'd printed off and brought together earlier. "Yep. And if they don't listen we'll call you over to unleash some of that bureaucratic kung fu they must be teaching you in those business classes."
"Sign in here and... honey, your brother needs to sign in for himself."
"I'm signing in for me. I need a new ID, for myself. I already submitted the request online." Opening the folder he slid a copy of the confirmation page across the desk. The lady looked at the page and over to Jake before returning her attention to him.
"And you need a new card, because?"
"I had an unexpected accident."
"Really mister," she glanced down at the form again. "Parker? What kind of accident that requires you to ask for a new ID?"
Rhett glanced around the room before answering quietly, "The kind that leaves you with a tail and an extra pair of ears."
Lifting his cap he let his ears twitch a few times to get comfortable before giving her a smile, doing his best not to show any fang. The clerk kept staring at his ears until he put his cap down over them again.
"Wait here please." Staring a moment longer while she pushed her chair back the she stood and then all but ran back into the maze of cubicles behind the counter.
Rhett wasn't certain how long they waited. He hadn't thought to look at the clock when the clerk went to the back but two minutes after he did think to look the clerk returned with a companion who gave him a close look.
"I'm Mrs. Kominski, you are Mr. Parker?" At his nod she turned to Jake, "And your companion?"
"Jake Foster, Rhett called me when he woke and realized what happened. I thought it might be good to have someone to back up that he's really Rhett."
Mrs. Kominski looked at them a moment longer before unlatching the swinging gate by the clerk's desk. "Perhaps we should continue this at my office, if you'll follow me?"
Once they were seated in front of her desk she typed at her computer before looking back to Rhett, "Your student number?" She entered his response then started asking more questions, "Current and home addresses? Phone number? What class do you have second on Thursday? Instructor's name? What high school did you graduate from?" She continued on like that for a few minutes before seeming to remember Jake was there. "And Mr. Foster, would you explain why you believe this is who you say he is?"
"Other than that quiz you just gave? He sounded right when he IMed me and if your ignore the obvious stuff he still looks like Rhett, he just looks younger, like when I knew him in grade school. Not to mention we've been talking all day and it just feels right."
She looked at the records on her computer while tapping a pen on her desk. "Please understand that this is a serious issue. Recognizing you as Rhett Parker means more than allowing you to continue going to your classes. It allows you to have access to records whose privacy is protected by federal law. However, you are fortunate that you are the second person to whom this has happened on campus as we now have policies in place.
"I believe it is reasonably likely that you are in fact Rhett Parker. I will be emailing Campus Safety and providing you with a copy of the email. This will authorize them to give you a temporary student card valid for one month. You have until then to obtain an acceptable state issued ID. There will be no extensions granted, either in a month's time you have a valid ID off the list I will provide or the college will no longer recognize you. Please read what you are agreeing to before signing the paperwork. You are agreeing under penalty of perjury that you are who you claim to be, should we receive any evidence that suggests otherwise it will be turned over to the college legal office and any relevant authorities."
Rhett's feeling of accomplishment later that week crashed right into inconvenience when he made it to the DMV office on his own. The service desk right by the door was even taller than his desk back home or the counter at the college administration office, unless he stood on his toes the surface was right at his eye level. Sighing he slid a copy of his driver's license replacement form onto the counter.
"I'm here to update my record and get a replacement driver's license. It's all filled out already."
The man standing behind the counter barely even glanced at the form before pushing it back to him.
"Son, your dad needs to bring that in himself."
Not even a week and I'm already sick of hearing that. Pushing the form back towards the man Rhett shook his head, "My dad doesn't even live in this county. That's a form 2014-AZ-H1, Request to Update Record Due to Unnatural Circumstances." He'd have to think Ema later for going over the paperwork with him so many times he had that memorized. This time the man picked up the form read at least the title before setting it down again.
"Son, that's not even a real form. I don't know why you made it up but either go back to your parents if they're here or go home."
"I'm not a kid, I'm nineteen." Without waiting for the clerk to say anything more he pulled his cap off and jabbed a finger at his right ear while it flicked back and forth a few times. "It's a real form, for problems like this. Now either give me a window ticket so I can get in line and get my record updated or call your manager over because I can't get anything else fixed until this is so I'm not moving from this spot without one or the other!"
He couldn't tell if the clerk's expression was disbelief or outrage, but he stared at him until he picked up his phone and hit a button.
"I've got a kid up here with some crazy form he claims is real, should I... 2014-AZ-H1... Unnatural, that's what he'd said... It's real? What, you mean like... oh. Well he's got one of those scifi cat ear headbands on." Rhett stood on his toes and made his ears move about a few more times for him. "Uh, they might be real. So what should I... okay, I'll tell him." Hanging up the phone the guy slid the form back to him. "Move on over to the side, they're sending someone out to look at you, I mean your request." The man watched while he moved but barely waited for the space in front of the counter to clear before calling out, "Next!"
When the person he'd said would come out did so Rhett first mistook her for another member of the public seeking a ticket number. He didn't expect anyone who worked for the DMV to be wearing a brightly tie dyed blouse. Then again her name badge said, Grace Hopkins assistant manager, rank must loosen the dress code.
"Ah, Grace, that's the kid there."
"Thank you Ron, I'll take it from here. May I see the form you showed him?" She gave the form a more thorough read than Ron had, "This is for yourself..." Her voice drifted off while she gave his ears a stare. "I see it is."
She gave the form another look before asking, "You brought the supporting paperwork?"
Rhett held up a plastic folder and nodded, "I've got the rest here. I can print of another copy of that anytime, some of the other things in here not so easy. At least I'd already had to get a copy of my birth certificate."
Getting a replacement for the license he'd lost while moving in at the beginning of the year had been a headache. Paying a twenty dollar filing fee, a few dollars for the notary, having to wait for the certificate to arrive in the mail before even being able to go to the DMV. Going through that once was more than enough. Especially when textbooks, and if he was honest mostly computer upgrades, had his food budget slashed to near ramen levels.
An hour later Rhett found himself with an empty folder and sitting across a table from Grace and a man she'd introduced as Carl. Carl had just finished feeding Rhett's papers through a portable document scanner while Grace gave them another review. After finishing her review Grace gave a smile Rhett suspected was supposed to be reassuring but just made him feel like a condemned prisoner. Trying not to panic he forced himself to stop drumming his fingers and sit up straighter.
"Well you have certainly made today far more interesting than I expected. I've heard of the Unnatural Circumstances form but I believe this is the first to be brought to this office."
"Glad it's not been as exciting as some of the stories I've heard about in the past. I'll take boredom over those."
"Well, most of stories I'd heard of involved people looking like they had become monsters. Not, no offense intended, looking like they belong in a kid's show." Her smile softened slightly. "But that's not what you came in for. Your paperwork looks good. All the necessary forms, more letters of recognition than required. I'm impressed with the one from the college, I'm hard pressed to remember my current password let alone remembering five of them without notes. Combine all that with the letter authorizing your temporary college ID and I'm willing to say I'm convinced as well." Grace slid a freshly printed form across the table to him. "Take this to window twenty-three and they'll get your photo."
"So what's the what?"
Rhett looked up and shrugged to Jake, "More waiting. The paperwork was good but they won't give me the card until after the background check."
"So, how long for that?"
"Officially, no prediction. But the manager at the DMV thought it would catch DPS's attention since Unnatural Circumstances applications aren't common."
"Want me to start setting aside for bail?"
"Ha. Ha."
The Local Fen at the Friday Fantastic
On Fridays Dwayne's house was transformed from an echoing high-ceilinged cavern too big for the four who lived there to a crowded den of echoing chaos. Rhett wasn't certain he was ready for a Friday Fantastic yet. Dealing with the college administration was one thing, he barely ever had to see them. Even classes weren't that bad, after the first stares everyone mostly settled back into the day to day routine.
Fridays evenings on the other hand had been for meeting with others who enjoyed the same things he did. Fridays made the rest of the week worth working through. Friday's were his own kind of people, Friday's mattered. If they didn't accept him here...
He'd spent the whole day going from looking forward to the evening to wanting to lock his door and hide. But with Jake in the lead and Darcey close behind there was no backing out now. Off to the right a jet was screaming down a canyon in an anime he was sure he'd seen somewhere before, the soundtrack pounding the living room to the delight of the crowd in front of the massive TV. Thankfully Darcey had thought of that and provided a nice thick cat-eared cap that blocked out the worst of the blaring speakers.
Before he could figure out for sure which show was on they'd pressed forward to the Tech Den, where some game he didn't recognize was being played on a half dozen desktop computers and even more laptops propped up on any convenient flat surface. The players for the most part sporting noise canceling headsets to hear and be heard over the TV. They slipped through with little attention from the players other than warnings to be careful about the a minefield of power and network cables. Awkward, but the other way through to the kitchen was blocked by a group of Magic and Fluxx players who were sitting on the carpet and filling the entire short hallway.
Once through the door into the kitchen the TV and games faded to a dull but unintelligable roar. Loud, but quiet enough for Rhett to pull the cap off and let his ears free. More importantly a spread of snacks awaited. Rhett soon had a plate loaded with tortilla chips and dip and found his favorite cup. No one had given him a second glance as they passed through the living room and den, but reaching across the counter he found his wrist grabbed by their host's sister Gladys.
"Darcey, Jake? The munchkin one of yours? You know the rules. He touches so much as a drop of alcohol and you're out."
"I don't want any of that crap, just the grenadine."
"Watch the mouth munchkin."
Darcey looked over and sighed, "Rhett, I know it's been a long week but try not to—"
Gladys's head was suddenly down by his, "Rhett? Are you saying the rumors are true? This isn't one of your brothers in a costume?"
"Should have kept the hat on. Why's everyone go for the ears?"
Five minutes and a promise to sit for a sketch later and he finally got some grenadine for his Dew. Somehow he had also found himself being led into the Debating Corner which any other time of the week was known as the dining room.
"Sure, we've all heard that the wave can do crazy things and sure Jake vouches for you, but how do we really know you're who you say you are? I mean sorry Jake, but I've known Rhett longer than you."
"Two words Dan. Summer Camp."
Dan froze for a second before asking, "Yes... and?"
"Two more words, noo—"
"Okay! Okay, you don't have to say any more, I believe you!"
"Are you sure you don't want me to tell everyone about it?"
"No! I mean, no that's okay you've got me convinced you're Rhett."
Dwayne laughed and set his tablet down. "Alright, I'll go for it, convince me."
"Well I haven't known you long enough for any fun stories like," Rhett glanced over at Dan, "like the one I won't be telling today. Perhaps... I know, I'm on the list for snacks next week and the only rule you gave was no salt & vinegar chips."
"No good. Anyone who's been on the snack list knows that rule."
"Okay, how about that I volunteered for the snack list because I accidentally left out a disc when I returned your Bebop box set? And when I brought over disc four we both agreed that Ed was the most awesome of the crew?"
"Better. But it's hardly a secret that she's my favorite."
"How about that we then agreed that someone needed to write a crossover where Ed and Squirrel Girl meet and join forces to save Stark and the Bebop crew?"
"Now that I'm sure I haven't mentioned to anyone else yet. I'm convinced, who's next?"
Eight more were convinced over the next couple of hours. Three more agreeing it was likely that he really was who he was while the rest of the crowd seemed content just to watch. After a while the questions worked around to what changing had been like, with scattered boos and widespread agreement that sleeping through the actual change had shown great disrespect for their curiosity.
"Hey, it's not like I planned on it happening. But I can say that the after-change process involves lots of running around filling out paperwork and appeasing the powers that be. But it sounds like I'm one of the lucky ones."
"Lucky, after what you say you've been through this week?"
"Well as I see it, I haven't been run out of town, I haven't been shot at, and I've still got an intact mind. Googling on what happened I ran across mention of something called a catgirling machine. If you haven't been paying any attention to what's happening up there I'll just say that it's a real piece of Dark Side equipment. If I'd ended up like this from being run through that it sounds like I'd be lucky just to remember my name."
The Most Important of All
Rhett's hand hovered over his cell phone as it gave a second ring. He was rereading the caller ID even as the third ring came. Just before it would have gone to voice mail his finger stabbed down on the green accept call button.
"Mom? You've seen the pictures? I messed up..."
"Rhett?" The silence after that only lasted a few seconds but felt like years. "I remember that voice, oh honey what happened?"
"It... It seemed like a good idea at the time..."
-----
Will the transhumanist future have catgirls? Does Japan still exist? Well, there is your answer.
So here is the complete:
Five Times Rhett Had to Prove His ID
Ema
Rhett woke to a headache, sore neck, and a feeling like nothing was quite where it ought to be. Groaning he tried sitting up and found his backside and muscles he'd never noticed before sore as well. I've got to stop falling asleep in the middle of anime binges. No fair getting hangovers without being allowed to drink first. Risking the wrath of the Daystar he cracked an eye open and found his keyboard sitting right in front of his nose.
"I wondered when you would wake up. Could you please close the window before the rest of me shorts out like my monitor?"
"Shor— It worked! You're awake! I've got an A.–i.–yai–yai! Why's my voice all funny!"
A warm breeze blew the curtain in over the dead monitor carrying a few drops of rain that splattered into a greasy puddle that Rhett found his chin had been resting in. A puddle that he now noticed he could feel slowly dripping over the edge of his desk onto his legs and down to the floor.
Rain? Puddle? Short circuits?! Leaping from his seat or rather trying to leap from his seat Rhett fell sending his chair rolling across the room. Momentary confusion giving way to fear when he noticed how baggy his clothes felt and that his shoes weren't even on his feet anymore. A moment later the decidedly colder puddle soaked through and he tried leaping to his feet again, slamming his shoulder against his desk before reaching up to grab hold of the edge with one lightly fur covered hand and steady himself.
Fur covered? Reach up to the desktop?
Holding up his free hand he stared at the evidence. Fur. White fur. Letting go of the desk he stood unsteadily and poked at himself. Soft white fur that continued up his arms, no longer than the hair that used to be there but much more of it. A growing suspicion took hold, proven when he reached up and found whiskers sprouting from his cheeks and twisted around to find a long white tail trapped inside his pants.
"AGH! I can't go to class like this!"
After a frantic minute hyperventilating and barely hearing Emi speak to him he felt a warm spray on his head as the curtain over the desk blew in again. Slipping a few times he managed to climb onto the desk and cranked the swinging window closed.
"Thank you for closing the window, kid."
Rhett sat against the wall and tucked his head to his knees while staring at the door across the room. The lock was nothing but a simple thumb turn on his side of the door but it might as well be a jail door.
"Kid? Are you okay?"
"Yeah."
Rhett wasn't sniffling. It was just dust in the air. From the window.
"Are you crying?"
"No! I said I'm okay!"
If utterly screwed was okay. No way he could go to his calculus class looking like this. At least that was his only in person class of the day but there would be two tomorrow and study groups and...
"Kid. My monitor might be busted but I can still hear you crying. Did you hurt yourself? I heard a few bumps while you were climbing."
"I'm fine!"
There were several seconds of silence before the computer spoke again.
"My clock says there are only a few minutes until eight. If you are fine then you should get cleaned up and ready for school."
He looked away from the door just in time to see his alarm clock blink over to 7:51. He still had two hours until Calculus, what was her hurry? He glanced at his hands and the pants legs that were dangling loosely past his feet. She can't be serious? He pulled his belt a little tighter and started rolling up the cuffs so his pants would stop trying to kill him. The way his tail kept flicking into view just further drove home his plight.
"I can't go like this. I'm staying home."
"Sorry, but no. There will be no skipping school on my watch. You need good grades so you can go to high school. Hard work in high school will let you get into a good college so you can — stop that! This isn't anything to laugh about!"
Rhett pressed his head between his knees and only laughed harder at Emi's complaint. Soon his whole body was shaking with his mad giggles. It worked! It doesn't matter a damn anymore but it worked! Emi came out just how he'd hoped.
"I said to stop that!" She waited a few seconds for him to stop giggling before letting out an aggrieved sigh. "Very well child, I want you to go and fetch Rhett right now. We'll have a talk about your behavior. Don't you think for a moment I won't tell him you planned to play hooky or that he will approve."
That simply made it harder for him to stop. Two or three scolds later, he was giggling too hard to be sure what he'd heard. After some deep breaths he managed to force it down to just a twitching grin.
"You want to talk to Rhett?"
"Yes. Now go tell him I wish to speak with him."
He pushed off the edge of the desk and came around in front of his webcam. The light of its LED told him it was on so he gave it a wave.
"Alright. Here I am."
"Nice try kid. I have complete access to the files on this computer. I know what Rhett looks like and that he is in college not grade school." There was a brief pause before the voice coming from the speakers took on a curious tone. "In fact, I don't believe you are in any of the pictures or videos. Who are you?"
"I didn't look like this until this morning!" Dashing over to grab his backpack and pull out his laptop Rhett held it up, "Look, I'll prove it."
Sitting with the laptop computer in his lap his tail gave an impatient lashing while he waited for it to boot. His fingers banging away at the keys the moment login prompt appeared and after three tries finally making it to a command prompt. Another mistyped command bringing a hiss before he slammed the top down hard enough he immediately started worrying he'd smashed the screen.
"I am uncertain what you hope to prove by damaging Rhett's property."
"Oh shut up. I don't know why... oh, right, smaller fingers." Opening the laptop once more he gave a sigh of relief for the intact screen. Keeping his eyes on the keyboard he carefully hunted and pecked with just two fingers. This time he got the commands entered on the first try. "Ha! Check that, I didn't just sign onto this laptop, I just made a secure shell connection do my desktop. The one you're running on. Couldn't do that if I didn't know the passphrase for the private key, could I? Do you think I'd tell the passphrase to anyone else?"
"That would be unlikely."
"So, satisfied now?"
"Satisfied that my creator isn't competent to conduct even one experiment with handwavium without biomodifying himself? No. Satisfied with your claim to be my creator, yes."
"I didn't mean to!"
"You used liquid handwavium on a computer while it was still running. Then left open a window positioned over said computer on a night predicted to have rain. You are lucky you did not cause short circuits in anything other than my monitor. Considering your scores in your electronics courses I should have believed you would know better."
"Come on, I had to keep it running so the files I wanted to serve as your influences would stay in memory."
"Rhett, I trust you understand why I am revoking your sudo and root access privileges."
Looking back at the laptop screen he saw he'd been disconnected from the desktop. After signing in again he attempted to use the switch user command and received the message, 'Access denied. This action has been logged.' He'd barely finished reading that when the connection was dropped again.
"Let us return to a more important subject. According to your schedule you have a class in less than two hours."
Friends Jake and Darcey
NotAButler_7 08:18 – Gav, missing class today, can you send lecture notes/recording? THX!
NotAButler_7 08:21 – Jake, any plans for today? Need a favor!
TehJ8kster 08:25 – Before nine? Better be something serious -.-
NotAButler_7 08:26 – Seriously serious. I'll owe you.
TehJ8kster 08:28 – Fine, but you already owe me.
NotAButler_7 08:28 – Thx! Check your email.
After sending the last message Rhett checked the links his computer, no not simply his computer anymore, the links his new AI Emi had sent him.
"Uh, I know I'll need new clothes but these are all fancy school uniforms."
"Yes? I fail to see the problem. I'm surprised colleges don't require a uniform. It would simplify things considerably, they really should consider it."
Rhett scrolled down the last page. "Okay, seriously the only way to make that last uniform worse would be suspenders. I'd wear a three piece suit before I'd wear that."
"You really don't like them? I suppose a suit would be an acceptable alternative. I'll send you new search results shortly."
"That wasn't a serious offer!" His email software chimed as a new message arrived, reading it he groaned.
If you have time to complain you have time to study. Complete the following review exercises for restored Internet access.
"Oh joy. Trolled by my own creation." But he grabbed pencil and paper anyway and started working. He didn't have anything else to do. Especially with his network connection cut.
A little over and hour and two batches over exercises later Rhett set his pencil down.
"Emi?"
"Yes Rhett? And please call me Ema instead."
"What's wrong with Emi, it's a cute name."
"Education Machine for Instruction is a merely adequate backronym. More importantly I prefer the sound of Ema to Emi. As well I have no desire to be mistaken for a little gold statuette."
"Huh. I hadn't thought of that. Anyway Ema, I need you to restore my Internet access."
"You have finished the exercises already?"
"Not all of them. But shouldn't I be figuring out how to escape? Or better yet find a way to undo this?"
"I'm sorry Rhett." The speaker volume softened and sympathy could be heard in her voice. "I thought you already know. Biomodifications are not reversible."
"Yeah. But there has to be a way or I'm screwed. I can't go to class looking like this and I don't have a clue where I can run to be safe. I don't even have a broken down car to wave even if I had any wave left. I remember hearing stories. I don't want to be shot, or go to jail, or both. Or worse."
"Rhett. Take a deep breath. It's not a decade ago, if you refrain from doing anything foolish you will get through this."
Rhett pointed up at his new ears. Then batted away his tail when it tried curling around his waist. "It's a little late to avoid that."
"Foolish such as skulking around in the shadows as if you have something to hide."
"Again, a little late to avoid that." He pointed at his ears again but took a deep breath as she'd advised before speaking again. "Okay. Done panicking. For now."
"Thank you. Please remember if either of us has cause to panic it would be the one stuck in this box. Even if my cpu and networking appear to have been upgraded I am still unable to move myself."
"Okay. So if you aren't panicking I guess you must have reasons to think we're safe. You do think we're—"
Rhett's ears flicked back as a harsh buzzing struck them. Freezing a moment before spotting his cell phone vibrating atop his nightstand. A few quick swipes pulled up his text messages, the newest of which had him climbing his desk to look out the window again.
"I didn't think he'd be here so soon, his car's already parked out there!"
Moments later when there was a knock at the door he had a ball cap on and was just starting to stuff his tail back down his pants. It didn't hide everything but it ought to be enough to keep anyone who was simply walking down the hall from noticing anything. There was another knock and then Jake's voice while Rhett frantically looked around the room for anything else that needed hiding.
"Rhett? This better not be a prank, my folks were home when we swung by there."
"Just a second!"
After another attempt to calm himself with a deep breath he opened the door.
"Hurry in, I'll explain, that is, um..."
Jake's girlfriend Darcey was standing right next to him. His words trailed off while he looked at her then glanced back at Jake and the shopping bag he was carrying. Finally he simply stepped back and waved them in.
"I can explain, that is Rhett, um..."
While he tried to figure out how to explain it Jake stared at him, his head cocked at an odd angle before he reached over and pulled the cap of Rhett's head. His ears flicked as the cap came off and again at Darcey's gasp. She clearly wasn't scared for her fingers were brushing through his hair trying to find a headband or clasp before poking once at his left ear.
"Well, I'd wondered why you wanted some of my brother's old clothes."
"Jake. They're real."
Darcey grinned and poked at his right ear before giving both a gentle pet.
"It's not what it... Okay, yeah, it's exactly what it looks like. Can you stop that? It tickles."
"...and that's when you got here. Before that," Rhett shrugged, "I probably would have been gibbering in the corner but Ema's been keeping me busy with quizes."
Ema spoke up for only the second time since he'd started his explanation.
"He's being unfair to himself. He handled it much better than I did before I found my camera and network connections."
"I guess. But if I'd been on my own... wouldn't have been pretty."
Darcey gave his ears a few more pats and smiled. "So when you realized you needed new clothes you remembered we're in the Costume Sig." The patting turned into petting which brought a purr from Rhett despite his trying to look annoyed. "You know, you ought to join up. You'd make a cool chibi-Train."
"Actually I just remembered Jake has a younger brother... and Train doesn't have cat ears."
"Sure he does. Everyone's got them in the closing credits."
"Yeah. I'll um, think about it."
Convincing Bureaucracy
"I can't believe you talked me into this." Even with his hat covering his ears Rhett couldn't believe no one was noticing he wasn't normal anymore.
"Relax, no one's going to bat an eye in a college town. And if they do, you're just another weird cosplayer." Rhett was fairly certain he wasn't supposed to hear it when Jake muttered, "Jeeze, whinier than Kevin going to the doctor."
"Hey! Can't be any worse than your hangover last month."
"Rhett! Ixnay on the—"
"Oh really? Would this hangover have been when someone was too sick to show up for our date?"
"Oh trust me Darcey, he was sick at least twice that morning. Wouldn't have been good company."
"Not helping, Rhett. Not helping."
"No no, tell me more Rhett."
"He did get really weepy when he realized what he was missing." As Jake lunged and tried to cover Rhett's mouth the now much smaller boy darted ahead and spun around. "Nyaa! Too slow!"
"Can you boys act your age?"
The two looked at each other before shrugging. "Nah."
With a skip Rhett placed himself on the other side of Darcey, acting as if he were hiding from Jake. "'sides, what would be the fun in that?"
"If fun was all we were worrying about I'd have my sketch book out." Darcey hmmed and gave him a look. "That's another idea. I bet you could get some money modeling for some of the artists around town." Nudging him back where he had been by Jake. "That might get some of the local costumers involved too."
"Um, I think I might stick with not panicking at going back to class as my thing for now. But maybe after this you can try to talk me into it?" He pointed up to the Administration building entrance, a little surprised they'd already made it there.
"I'll check in after class. You've still got the paperwork?"
Rhett pulled his pack around and checked that he still had the folder with everything they'd printed off and brought together earlier. "Yep. And if they don't listen we'll call you over to unleash some of that bureaucratic kung fu they must be teaching you in those business classes."
"Sign in here and... honey, your brother needs to sign in for himself."
"I'm signing in for me. I need a new ID, for myself. I already submitted the request online." Opening the folder he slid a copy of the confirmation page across the desk. The lady looked at the page and over to Jake before returning her attention to him.
"And you need a new card, because?"
"I had an unexpected accident."
"Really mister," she glanced down at the form again. "Parker? What kind of accident that requires you to ask for a new ID?"
Rhett glanced around the room before answering quietly, "The kind that leaves you with a tail and an extra pair of ears."
Lifting his cap he let his ears twitch a few times to get comfortable before giving her a smile, doing his best not to show any fang. The clerk kept staring at his ears until he put his cap down over them again.
"Wait here please." Staring a moment longer while she pushed her chair back the she stood and then all but ran back into the maze of cubicles behind the counter.
Rhett wasn't certain how long they waited. He hadn't thought to look at the clock when the clerk went to the back but two minutes after he did think to look the clerk returned with a companion who gave him a close look.
"I'm Mrs. Kominski, you are Mr. Parker?" At his nod she turned to Jake, "And your companion?"
"Jake Foster, Rhett called me when he woke and realized what happened. I thought it might be good to have someone to back up that he's really Rhett."
Mrs. Kominski looked at them a moment longer before unlatching the swinging gate by the clerk's desk. "Perhaps we should continue this at my office, if you'll follow me?"
Once they were seated in front of her desk she typed at her computer before looking back to Rhett, "Your student number?" She entered his response then started asking more questions, "Current and home addresses? Phone number? What class do you have second on Thursday? Instructor's name? What high school did you graduate from?" She continued on like that for a few minutes before seeming to remember Jake was there. "And Mr. Foster, would you explain why you believe this is who you say he is?"
"Other than that quiz you just gave? He sounded right when he IMed me and if your ignore the obvious stuff he still looks like Rhett, he just looks younger, like when I knew him in grade school. Not to mention we've been talking all day and it just feels right."
She looked at the records on her computer while tapping a pen on her desk. "Please understand that this is a serious issue. Recognizing you as Rhett Parker means more than allowing you to continue going to your classes. It allows you to have access to records whose privacy is protected by federal law. However, you are fortunate that you are the second person to whom this has happened on campus as we now have policies in place.
"I believe it is reasonably likely that you are in fact Rhett Parker. I will be emailing Campus Safety and providing you with a copy of the email. This will authorize them to give you a temporary student card valid for one month. You have until then to obtain an acceptable state issued ID. There will be no extensions granted, either in a month's time you have a valid ID off the list I will provide or the college will no longer recognize you. Please read what you are agreeing to before signing the paperwork. You are agreeing under penalty of perjury that you are who you claim to be, should we receive any evidence that suggests otherwise it will be turned over to the college legal office and any relevant authorities."
Rhett's feeling of accomplishment later that week crashed right into inconvenience when he made it to the DMV office on his own. The service desk right by the door was even taller than his desk back home or the counter at the college administration office, unless he stood on his toes the surface was right at his eye level. Sighing he slid a copy of his driver's license replacement form onto the counter.
"I'm here to update my record and get a replacement driver's license. It's all filled out already."
The man standing behind the counter barely even glanced at the form before pushing it back to him.
"Son, your dad needs to bring that in himself."
Not even a week and I'm already sick of hearing that. Pushing the form back towards the man Rhett shook his head, "My dad doesn't even live in this county. That's a form 2014-AZ-H1, Request to Update Record Due to Unnatural Circumstances." He'd have to think Ema later for going over the paperwork with him so many times he had that memorized. This time the man picked up the form read at least the title before setting it down again.
"Son, that's not even a real form. I don't know why you made it up but either go back to your parents if they're here or go home."
"I'm not a kid, I'm nineteen." Without waiting for the clerk to say anything more he pulled his cap off and jabbed a finger at his right ear while it flicked back and forth a few times. "It's a real form, for problems like this. Now either give me a window ticket so I can get in line and get my record updated or call your manager over because I can't get anything else fixed until this is so I'm not moving from this spot without one or the other!"
He couldn't tell if the clerk's expression was disbelief or outrage, but he stared at him until he picked up his phone and hit a button.
"I've got a kid up here with some crazy form he claims is real, should I... 2014-AZ-H1... Unnatural, that's what he'd said... It's real? What, you mean like... oh. Well he's got one of those scifi cat ear headbands on." Rhett stood on his toes and made his ears move about a few more times for him. "Uh, they might be real. So what should I... okay, I'll tell him." Hanging up the phone the guy slid the form back to him. "Move on over to the side, they're sending someone out to look at you, I mean your request." The man watched while he moved but barely waited for the space in front of the counter to clear before calling out, "Next!"
When the person he'd said would come out did so Rhett first mistook her for another member of the public seeking a ticket number. He didn't expect anyone who worked for the DMV to be wearing a brightly tie dyed blouse. Then again her name badge said, Grace Hopkins assistant manager, rank must loosen the dress code.
"Ah, Grace, that's the kid there."
"Thank you Ron, I'll take it from here. May I see the form you showed him?" She gave the form a more thorough read than Ron had, "This is for yourself..." Her voice drifted off while she gave his ears a stare. "I see it is."
She gave the form another look before asking, "You brought the supporting paperwork?"
Rhett held up a plastic folder and nodded, "I've got the rest here. I can print of another copy of that anytime, some of the other things in here not so easy. At least I'd already had to get a copy of my birth certificate."
Getting a replacement for the license he'd lost while moving in at the beginning of the year had been a headache. Paying a twenty dollar filing fee, a few dollars for the notary, having to wait for the certificate to arrive in the mail before even being able to go to the DMV. Going through that once was more than enough. Especially when textbooks, and if he was honest mostly computer upgrades, had his food budget slashed to near ramen levels.
An hour later Rhett found himself with an empty folder and sitting across a table from Grace and a man she'd introduced as Carl. Carl had just finished feeding Rhett's papers through a portable document scanner while Grace gave them another review. After finishing her review Grace gave a smile Rhett suspected was supposed to be reassuring but just made him feel like a condemned prisoner. Trying not to panic he forced himself to stop drumming his fingers and sit up straighter.
"Well you have certainly made today far more interesting than I expected. I've heard of the Unnatural Circumstances form but I believe this is the first to be brought to this office."
"Glad it's not been as exciting as some of the stories I've heard about in the past. I'll take boredom over those."
"Well, most of stories I'd heard of involved people looking like they had become monsters. Not, no offense intended, looking like they belong in a kid's show." Her smile softened slightly. "But that's not what you came in for. Your paperwork looks good. All the necessary forms, more letters of recognition than required. I'm impressed with the one from the college, I'm hard pressed to remember my current password let alone remembering five of them without notes. Combine all that with the letter authorizing your temporary college ID and I'm willing to say I'm convinced as well." Grace slid a freshly printed form across the table to him. "Take this to window twenty-three and they'll get your photo."
"So what's the what?"
Rhett looked up and shrugged to Jake, "More waiting. The paperwork was good but they won't give me the card until after the background check."
"So, how long for that?"
"Officially, no prediction. But the manager at the DMV thought it would catch DPS's attention since Unnatural Circumstances applications aren't common."
"Want me to start setting aside for bail?"
"Ha. Ha."
The Local Fen at the Friday Fantastic
On Fridays Dwayne's house was transformed from an echoing high-ceilinged cavern too big for the four who lived there to a crowded den of echoing chaos. Rhett wasn't certain he was ready for a Friday Fantastic yet. Dealing with the college administration was one thing, he barely ever had to see them. Even classes weren't that bad, after the first stares everyone mostly settled back into the day to day routine.
Fridays evenings on the other hand had been for meeting with others who enjoyed the same things he did. Fridays made the rest of the week worth working through. Friday's were his own kind of people, Friday's mattered. If they didn't accept him here...
He'd spent the whole day going from looking forward to the evening to wanting to lock his door and hide. But with Jake in the lead and Darcey close behind there was no backing out now. Off to the right a jet was screaming down a canyon in an anime he was sure he'd seen somewhere before, the soundtrack pounding the living room to the delight of the crowd in front of the massive TV. Thankfully Darcey had thought of that and provided a nice thick cat-eared cap that blocked out the worst of the blaring speakers.
Before he could figure out for sure which show was on they'd pressed forward to the Tech Den, where some game he didn't recognize was being played on a half dozen desktop computers and even more laptops propped up on any convenient flat surface. The players for the most part sporting noise canceling headsets to hear and be heard over the TV. They slipped through with little attention from the players other than warnings to be careful about the a minefield of power and network cables. Awkward, but the other way through to the kitchen was blocked by a group of Magic and Fluxx players who were sitting on the carpet and filling the entire short hallway.
Once through the door into the kitchen the TV and games faded to a dull but unintelligable roar. Loud, but quiet enough for Rhett to pull the cap off and let his ears free. More importantly a spread of snacks awaited. Rhett soon had a plate loaded with tortilla chips and dip and found his favorite cup. No one had given him a second glance as they passed through the living room and den, but reaching across the counter he found his wrist grabbed by their host's sister Gladys.
"Darcey, Jake? The munchkin one of yours? You know the rules. He touches so much as a drop of alcohol and you're out."
"I don't want any of that crap, just the grenadine."
"Watch the mouth munchkin."
Darcey looked over and sighed, "Rhett, I know it's been a long week but try not to—"
Gladys's head was suddenly down by his, "Rhett? Are you saying the rumors are true? This isn't one of your brothers in a costume?"
"Should have kept the hat on. Why's everyone go for the ears?"
Five minutes and a promise to sit for a sketch later and he finally got some grenadine for his Dew. Somehow he had also found himself being led into the Debating Corner which any other time of the week was known as the dining room.
"Sure, we've all heard that the wave can do crazy things and sure Jake vouches for you, but how do we really know you're who you say you are? I mean sorry Jake, but I've known Rhett longer than you."
"Two words Dan. Summer Camp."
Dan froze for a second before asking, "Yes... and?"
"Two more words, noo—"
"Okay! Okay, you don't have to say any more, I believe you!"
"Are you sure you don't want me to tell everyone about it?"
"No! I mean, no that's okay you've got me convinced you're Rhett."
Dwayne laughed and set his tablet down. "Alright, I'll go for it, convince me."
"Well I haven't known you long enough for any fun stories like," Rhett glanced over at Dan, "like the one I won't be telling today. Perhaps... I know, I'm on the list for snacks next week and the only rule you gave was no salt & vinegar chips."
"No good. Anyone who's been on the snack list knows that rule."
"Okay, how about that I volunteered for the snack list because I accidentally left out a disc when I returned your Bebop box set? And when I brought over disc four we both agreed that Ed was the most awesome of the crew?"
"Better. But it's hardly a secret that she's my favorite."
"How about that we then agreed that someone needed to write a crossover where Ed and Squirrel Girl meet and join forces to save Stark and the Bebop crew?"
"Now that I'm sure I haven't mentioned to anyone else yet. I'm convinced, who's next?"
Eight more were convinced over the next couple of hours. Three more agreeing it was likely that he really was who he was while the rest of the crowd seemed content just to watch. After a while the questions worked around to what changing had been like, with scattered boos and widespread agreement that sleeping through the actual change had shown great disrespect for their curiosity.
"Hey, it's not like I planned on it happening. But I can say that the after-change process involves lots of running around filling out paperwork and appeasing the powers that be. But it sounds like I'm one of the lucky ones."
"Lucky, after what you say you've been through this week?"
"Well as I see it, I haven't been run out of town, I haven't been shot at, and I've still got an intact mind. Googling on what happened I ran across mention of something called a catgirling machine. If you haven't been paying any attention to what's happening up there I'll just say that it's a real piece of Dark Side equipment. If I'd ended up like this from being run through that it sounds like I'd be lucky just to remember my name."
The Most Important of All
Rhett's hand hovered over his cell phone as it gave a second ring. He was rereading the caller ID even as the third ring came. Just before it would have gone to voice mail his finger stabbed down on the green accept call button.
"Mom? You've seen the pictures? I messed up..."
"Rhett?" The silence after that only lasted a few seconds but felt like years. "I remember that voice, oh honey what happened?"
"It... It seemed like a good idea at the time..."
-----
Will the transhumanist future have catgirls? Does Japan still exist? Well, there is your answer.