Posted by: OldManTom
In: RE: I am Boskone War Veteran, Great Justice Troubleshooter and Adoptive Dad Tom Rutley. AMA
Other than the routine rogue 'wavetech report that turned into a huge kidnapping and child exploitation manhunt, you mean? Definitely got to be the Hitler Clone Incident.
A couple of months before the Fazbear's Pizza investigation, the German federal police served a search warrant on the headquarters of a far-right organisation in response to an anonymous phone call from someone claiming to be held captive there. They turned out to be extremely well-armed, probably from Boskone sources, and eventually GSG-9 had to be called in to storm the building with a couple of armoured vehicles. That much you likely heard about in the papers, of course, but what you didn't hear about was who that anonymous captive turned out to be.
He was a bioroid clone of Adolf Hitler. And yes, he'd made the call. Apparently the last thing he remembered before going online was being in the trenches in 1918 when his sector got hit by mustard gas, and they'd given him an extremely detailed briefing on the Third Reich. These guys weren't your standard Holocaust denier school of far-right nutjob; oh, no, they thought the Holocaust was Nazi Germany's finest accomplishment! To the surprise of everyone, especially his fan club, Bioroid Hitler thought this was the biggest load of insane horseshit he'd ever heard and refused to believe he would ever sign off on it. They'd resorted to locking him in the basement while they tried to figure out what they did wrong, but he found an old phone they'd forgotten about down there and managed to get in touch with the police.
Now, so far as I'm aware this is the first time we've had a Pinocchio Syndrome case with an actual historical figure, and the Germans were still trying to work out what the hell to do with him when word got back to the local consulate. GJ's standing offer to confiscate and 'dispose of' any unlicensed 'wavetech no questions asked saved the day once again, both for the German police and for the poor sod who'd called them; I don't think anyone wanted to think to hard about the ramifications of this scenario, legal, existential or otherwise.
I picked him up from a nearby airfield and flew straight to L5 for probably the strangest emergency admission Space Patrol's witness protection team have ever had to perform. I was his primary point of contact for the first few days, and we got to know one another pretty well. We talked about a lot of things; about was fought in stupid ways for stupid reasons, about how easy it is to fall into wrongdoing when you're dealt a bad hand and looking for someone to blame, about how nobody is born evil.
He's still in Fenspace somewhere, with a new identity and much better taste in facial hair. Doing alright for himself, in fact, and we still exchange the odd email.
So, yeah. I met Hitler before he was famous, and he was an ordinary bloke.
In: RE: I am Boskone War Veteran, Great Justice Troubleshooter and Adoptive Dad Tom Rutley. AMA
Other than the routine rogue 'wavetech report that turned into a huge kidnapping and child exploitation manhunt, you mean? Definitely got to be the Hitler Clone Incident.
A couple of months before the Fazbear's Pizza investigation, the German federal police served a search warrant on the headquarters of a far-right organisation in response to an anonymous phone call from someone claiming to be held captive there. They turned out to be extremely well-armed, probably from Boskone sources, and eventually GSG-9 had to be called in to storm the building with a couple of armoured vehicles. That much you likely heard about in the papers, of course, but what you didn't hear about was who that anonymous captive turned out to be.
He was a bioroid clone of Adolf Hitler. And yes, he'd made the call. Apparently the last thing he remembered before going online was being in the trenches in 1918 when his sector got hit by mustard gas, and they'd given him an extremely detailed briefing on the Third Reich. These guys weren't your standard Holocaust denier school of far-right nutjob; oh, no, they thought the Holocaust was Nazi Germany's finest accomplishment! To the surprise of everyone, especially his fan club, Bioroid Hitler thought this was the biggest load of insane horseshit he'd ever heard and refused to believe he would ever sign off on it. They'd resorted to locking him in the basement while they tried to figure out what they did wrong, but he found an old phone they'd forgotten about down there and managed to get in touch with the police.
Now, so far as I'm aware this is the first time we've had a Pinocchio Syndrome case with an actual historical figure, and the Germans were still trying to work out what the hell to do with him when word got back to the local consulate. GJ's standing offer to confiscate and 'dispose of' any unlicensed 'wavetech no questions asked saved the day once again, both for the German police and for the poor sod who'd called them; I don't think anyone wanted to think to hard about the ramifications of this scenario, legal, existential or otherwise.
I picked him up from a nearby airfield and flew straight to L5 for probably the strangest emergency admission Space Patrol's witness protection team have ever had to perform. I was his primary point of contact for the first few days, and we got to know one another pretty well. We talked about a lot of things; about was fought in stupid ways for stupid reasons, about how easy it is to fall into wrongdoing when you're dealt a bad hand and looking for someone to blame, about how nobody is born evil.
He's still in Fenspace somewhere, with a new identity and much better taste in facial hair. Doing alright for himself, in fact, and we still exchange the odd email.
So, yeah. I met Hitler before he was famous, and he was an ordinary bloke.