from: axecrazy.loligoth
to: rec.fen.firearms
Subj: Re: I'm sure you've seen the news from Illinois State by now.
Okay kid, you're dealing with some of the most contemptible lifeforms in the history of modern media: local TV news. Nothing, and I mean *nothing* can be lower, meaner or baser than a local network affiliate in hot pursuit of a ratings-worthy scoop. We're talking below the bar set by Fox fucking News here, this is so low. The fact that they somehow sussed your home phone and called at fuck-you-thirty o'clock to harass you about it says volumes about the quality of people you're dealing with. Normally I'd be the one drilling down on some unsuspecting asshole's face but I've never liked local news to begin with so here's some free advice:
1) No comment. In these situations, no comment isn't your friend but it'll pretend to be long enough for the jackals to back off. If they're going to jump on you like the clickbait-seeking shitheads they are, this will at least keep you from sticking your foot in it.
2) We are cooperating with the investigation. This is true, and honestly you *are* cooperating since you'd like to know how this shitbird got hold of one of your fucking handcannons, right? It'll also direct the media to go annoy the local yokels and the Patrol, or stage a sit-in at the consulate or what the fuck ever.
3) Get an attorney and/or a press agent, then direct any further questions to them. These assholes shouldn't be calling you at all hours so they can pretend to be Baba Wawa. In a horrible breach of ethics that I couldn't give the least fuck about, ping me privately & I'll give you a list of smart people who can be trusted for this shit.
If all else fails, call me. I'll tell Katze to fire up the pirate transmitters and we'll get your side out.
MvS
Mr. Fnord interdimensional man of mystery
FenWiki - Your One-Stop Shop for Fenspace Information
"I. Drink. Your. NERDRAGE!"
to: rec.fen.firearms
Subj: Re: I'm sure you've seen the news from Illinois State by now.
Okay kid, you're dealing with some of the most contemptible lifeforms in the history of modern media: local TV news. Nothing, and I mean *nothing* can be lower, meaner or baser than a local network affiliate in hot pursuit of a ratings-worthy scoop. We're talking below the bar set by Fox fucking News here, this is so low. The fact that they somehow sussed your home phone and called at fuck-you-thirty o'clock to harass you about it says volumes about the quality of people you're dealing with. Normally I'd be the one drilling down on some unsuspecting asshole's face but I've never liked local news to begin with so here's some free advice:
1) No comment. In these situations, no comment isn't your friend but it'll pretend to be long enough for the jackals to back off. If they're going to jump on you like the clickbait-seeking shitheads they are, this will at least keep you from sticking your foot in it.
2) We are cooperating with the investigation. This is true, and honestly you *are* cooperating since you'd like to know how this shitbird got hold of one of your fucking handcannons, right? It'll also direct the media to go annoy the local yokels and the Patrol, or stage a sit-in at the consulate or what the fuck ever.
3) Get an attorney and/or a press agent, then direct any further questions to them. These assholes shouldn't be calling you at all hours so they can pretend to be Baba Wawa. In a horrible breach of ethics that I couldn't give the least fuck about, ping me privately & I'll give you a list of smart people who can be trusted for this shit.
If all else fails, call me. I'll tell Katze to fire up the pirate transmitters and we'll get your side out.
MvS
Mr. Fnord interdimensional man of mystery
FenWiki - Your One-Stop Shop for Fenspace Information
"I. Drink. Your. NERDRAGE!"