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Arc 5361: Striking Midnight
 
#4
*nods* Any idea why the dialogue wasn't smooth, or is it just a general feeling of clunkiness? =P

I'll probably have to take another pass at it, honestly. My own guesses on why the main mission dialogue might not work work:

1) Montague's text might be too heavy on the info dump.
2) It's pretty formal and stilted (Monty's a serious sort in the canon arc, but even so...)
3) Looking back, I think I just wrote this thing, I didn't read the dialogue out loud or anything.

Does that seem right? I can try improving it.
-- Acyl
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Messages In This Thread
Arc 5361: Striking Midnight - by Acyl - 04-09-2009, 06:05 AM
[No subject] - by Matrix Dragon - 04-09-2009, 05:31 PM
[No subject] - by His Lovely Wife - 04-10-2009, 01:19 PM
[No subject] - by Acyl - 04-10-2009, 08:51 PM
[No subject] - by OpMegs - 04-12-2009, 03:08 AM
[No subject] - by His Lovely Wife - 04-12-2009, 10:19 AM
[No subject] - by Acyl - 04-13-2009, 03:09 AM
[No subject] - by OpMegs - 04-23-2009, 03:33 PM
[No subject] - by Acyl - 04-23-2009, 06:23 PM
[No subject] - by Ankhani - 04-23-2009, 11:39 PM
[No subject] - by Acyl - 04-23-2009, 11:58 PM

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