I dont think I will get around to finishing this one so here is the opening. It was based on an offhanded remark and Lord Omega and the decalf incident some months back.
It was so logical, so rational, and so simple, that it could have only come from a machine. Which was all good, because the plan had been born in the digital synapses of Lord Omega himself. Was it a plan for world domination. No. A destruction reigned down on the flesh-sacks that they would forever remember, at least until the last degenerate one of them died, gripped in a choking metal fist? No. A mild interruption to Wednesday night traffic, followed by a bitter editorial in the Thursday Paragon Times. No.
Lord Omega had simply put an end to coffee shipments into Paragon City. His meticulous research had shown that the removal of coffee from Paragon would cause a 20% drop in work efficiency, a 1.3% reduction in the economy, and a 16% increase in inter-personal conflict. All it took was a handful of drones in the shipping areas of Independence Port and Talos. Simple, efficient and effective.
The results had not been all he had expected, as his master plan had ignored the presence of decaffeinated coffee, which by its very nature, did not meet his very rational definition of the beverage. There had been a drop in efficiency and economy, but they had not been as pronounced as he had planned. There had been another problem.
Someone had taken it personally.
* * *
Incoming! Fire in the hole! Superball dove through the doorway, rolled across the floor and slid in behind Australis, crouching low and hiding behind the antipodean hero's legs. Were all going to die! Horribly!
Superball, for the last time, I am not going to kill any of you. Bella appeared at the doorway, her red eyes glowing. However, should I choose to retract this uncharacteristic mercy, I assure you that you shall be the first to know; followed shortly thereafter by the smoke detectors, fire suppression system and medical transporters.
Still no coffee? Australis shuffled slightly, trying shake Superball from his leg.
None. Bella collapsed into a chair and rubbed at her temples. And no I would not like a cup of tea or decaf, but thank you for the unspoken, and all too common of late offer.
Bonjour mes braves. Jackie Frost sauntered in, a stoneware mug held in one hand. She raised it to her full, red lips and took a sip, obviously relishing it intensely.
No. Bella cradled her head on her arms and tried to sink further into the table. Not even for that.
I shall ask again tomorrow. Jackie settled down on the corner, leaning back and arching her spine to better display her tremendous assets. She languidly placed the mug within Bellas reach. The heat appears to have left it. Bella, ma cher, if you could please.
Bella reached out a hand and dragged to mug across the table. She cupped it reverently between her palms; leaning forward to inhale deeply over the liquid. A thin trickle of stream rose from the mug. Bellas red eyes met Jackies cool blue ones. With an act of supreme willpower, Bella pushed the mug back to Jackie. Australis sighed deeply and extracted a five dollar bill from his pants pocket and dropped it to Superball. Bella arched a single eyebrow at the pair; causing Superball to cower further and Australis to pale ever so slightly under his heavy tan. They eyebrow ratcheted another few degrees as Jackie dipped two fingers into her massive cleavage and extracted two fives, handing one to each of the men.
Am I to understand. Bellas soft, Spanish flavored accent became as hard and unyielding as iron. That the three of you have been betting on whether or not I will let myself be seduced for a single cup of coffee?
Oui. Jackie confirmed taking a sip. Mon dieu! Tres chaud. Though you should be aware that it is not merely a cup of coffee. It is Jamaican Blue Mountain beans; roasted dark in the French fashion and brewed in the proper continental tradition.
Australis considered the tableau in front of him. His relaxed demeanor betrayed slightly be a stiffness in his spine. This was the moment of truth; his Kheldhian instincts were screaming at him to trigger the transformation to his larger and somewhat more fire resilient dwarf form. He fought back the impulse; he had a good read on Bellas body language; her temper was under control and she was unlikely to lose it and explode at the revelation.
Superball. Jackie. Australis. Bella leaned back in her chair. I am serving notice that my uncharacteristic mercy is hereby revoked.
Before the comment had left Bellas lips, Jackie leapt through the door of the kitchen, sealing the doorway behind her with a thick wall of ice. Australis; fully transformed into dwarf form, plowed through it a moment later, trailed by Superball who was making meep-meep noises.
Bella sighed and let her head drop back down to the table. It would only get worse from here. It was already worse, Jackie had taken the cup of coffee with her.
It was so logical, so rational, and so simple, that it could have only come from a machine. Which was all good, because the plan had been born in the digital synapses of Lord Omega himself. Was it a plan for world domination. No. A destruction reigned down on the flesh-sacks that they would forever remember, at least until the last degenerate one of them died, gripped in a choking metal fist? No. A mild interruption to Wednesday night traffic, followed by a bitter editorial in the Thursday Paragon Times. No.
Lord Omega had simply put an end to coffee shipments into Paragon City. His meticulous research had shown that the removal of coffee from Paragon would cause a 20% drop in work efficiency, a 1.3% reduction in the economy, and a 16% increase in inter-personal conflict. All it took was a handful of drones in the shipping areas of Independence Port and Talos. Simple, efficient and effective.
The results had not been all he had expected, as his master plan had ignored the presence of decaffeinated coffee, which by its very nature, did not meet his very rational definition of the beverage. There had been a drop in efficiency and economy, but they had not been as pronounced as he had planned. There had been another problem.
Someone had taken it personally.
* * *
Incoming! Fire in the hole! Superball dove through the doorway, rolled across the floor and slid in behind Australis, crouching low and hiding behind the antipodean hero's legs. Were all going to die! Horribly!
Superball, for the last time, I am not going to kill any of you. Bella appeared at the doorway, her red eyes glowing. However, should I choose to retract this uncharacteristic mercy, I assure you that you shall be the first to know; followed shortly thereafter by the smoke detectors, fire suppression system and medical transporters.
Still no coffee? Australis shuffled slightly, trying shake Superball from his leg.
None. Bella collapsed into a chair and rubbed at her temples. And no I would not like a cup of tea or decaf, but thank you for the unspoken, and all too common of late offer.
Bonjour mes braves. Jackie Frost sauntered in, a stoneware mug held in one hand. She raised it to her full, red lips and took a sip, obviously relishing it intensely.
No. Bella cradled her head on her arms and tried to sink further into the table. Not even for that.
I shall ask again tomorrow. Jackie settled down on the corner, leaning back and arching her spine to better display her tremendous assets. She languidly placed the mug within Bellas reach. The heat appears to have left it. Bella, ma cher, if you could please.
Bella reached out a hand and dragged to mug across the table. She cupped it reverently between her palms; leaning forward to inhale deeply over the liquid. A thin trickle of stream rose from the mug. Bellas red eyes met Jackies cool blue ones. With an act of supreme willpower, Bella pushed the mug back to Jackie. Australis sighed deeply and extracted a five dollar bill from his pants pocket and dropped it to Superball. Bella arched a single eyebrow at the pair; causing Superball to cower further and Australis to pale ever so slightly under his heavy tan. They eyebrow ratcheted another few degrees as Jackie dipped two fingers into her massive cleavage and extracted two fives, handing one to each of the men.
Am I to understand. Bellas soft, Spanish flavored accent became as hard and unyielding as iron. That the three of you have been betting on whether or not I will let myself be seduced for a single cup of coffee?
Oui. Jackie confirmed taking a sip. Mon dieu! Tres chaud. Though you should be aware that it is not merely a cup of coffee. It is Jamaican Blue Mountain beans; roasted dark in the French fashion and brewed in the proper continental tradition.
Australis considered the tableau in front of him. His relaxed demeanor betrayed slightly be a stiffness in his spine. This was the moment of truth; his Kheldhian instincts were screaming at him to trigger the transformation to his larger and somewhat more fire resilient dwarf form. He fought back the impulse; he had a good read on Bellas body language; her temper was under control and she was unlikely to lose it and explode at the revelation.
Superball. Jackie. Australis. Bella leaned back in her chair. I am serving notice that my uncharacteristic mercy is hereby revoked.
Before the comment had left Bellas lips, Jackie leapt through the door of the kitchen, sealing the doorway behind her with a thick wall of ice. Australis; fully transformed into dwarf form, plowed through it a moment later, trailed by Superball who was making meep-meep noises.
Bella sighed and let her head drop back down to the table. It would only get worse from here. It was already worse, Jackie had taken the cup of coffee with her.