It would be fair to say that Purrfect Archer was not having a good day. It had started with Sammy beating her to the last of the Hami-Os cereal, leaving her with just toast. Then she’d had to go deal with a Praetorian plot in the sewer network, leading to the discovery her new boots had a tiny crack in them, just big enough for the water to get in.
Then, with a soggy foot and a headache from all the Seers, she got a phone call from the PPD, regarding someone that looked like her in a black version of her usual costume robbing a bank and blowing up two police cars. There was no doubt in anyones mind it was yet another clone by the 5th Column, or an evil Alice from another dimension, or a Nemesis automaton, or possibly a new way of using her face for evil, but it was still a terrible pain, and Alice had to go meet with the PPD, as opposed to going and getting lunch.
Then she found the police station full of Malta operatives, all of them trying to kill her, an idiot uniformed police officer that actually believed she’d turned evil, and was claiming she’d already turned herself in... And then Silent Blade showed up, claiming she’d been hired to kill her for her crimes
It would be fair to say that Purrfect Archer was not having a good day. It would be more accurate to say she was having a miserable day, and she’d taken her frustrations out on one of the worlds greatest assassins. Had she been less irritated, she’d have been rather amazed at how easily she beat down the woman, Silent Blade never even touching her before being disarmed and embedded in the floor.
Of course, the day was made even worse when her double showed up, furious at her interference. Five seconds later, Alice was brushing dust off her hands, glaring at the woman climbing out of a shattered desk. “Sit down and don’t move,” she snarled, stepping on the clones bow and snapping it.
“You won’t get away with this you villain!” the duplicate growled, switching tactics. “I don’t know how you were able to defeat me, but I’ll find a way to stop you.” Alice rolled her eyes and let fire dance over her hand, making the clone shut up.
“A minute ago you were going on about your Malta allies in front of video and audio surveillance, so don’t try the old ‘I’m the real me’ routine,” she muttered. “I’m having a bad day and if you keep it up, I’ll demonstrate how easy it is to turn off your bladder control.”
“... What?” the girl blinked.
“Adult diapers for the rest of your life if you keep annoying me.”
“... I’ll be good,” the duplicate said, looking rather horrified all of a sudden.
“Good girl,” the real Archer said. “Now, let’s discuss who you really are, and why you decided to rob some banks with my face.”
Behind her, Silent Blade pulled herself back to a standing position, watching the scene quietly for a long moment. She stared at Alices back, then at the duplicate. Then she darted forward, grabbing her sword from where it had fallen, bringing it up in a swing designed to take the duplicates head clean off-
Only to have the blade glance off Alices armored gauntlet in a shower of sparks. “Oh what the hell?” the catgirl snarled.
“I was hired to kill Purrfect Archer,” Silent Blade said calmly, meeting Alices eyes with a cold amusement that only irritated the heroine even more. “And so I shall. The Purrfect Archer guilty of the crimes that resulted in my contract. It is no longer your concern.” Behind her, her duplicate squeaked in terror.
Flames and psychic energy wrapped around Purrfect Archers body. “No one is murdering anyone today, understood?”
“I shall not underestimate you again, but I will dispose of my target,” Blade said, then lunged. Archer twisted, avoiding the blade with ease, then drove her fist into Silent Blades face, a pulse of telekinetic force throwing her across the room again. Her ears twitched at the sound of movement behind her and she turned to look at her clone, who was currently trying to sneak away.
“Sit. Down.” The telepathic command accompanying those words weren’t really needed as the duplicate did as she was told. Alice terrified her, honestly. Nodding in satisfaction, she turned back to Silent Blade, then casually avoided the next lunge, blasted her away again, then put an arrow through the womans leg.
“Ngh! You... will not stop me from claiming my target,” she managed, actually standing up again. Alice growled in frustration, ears going flat, and then about half a dozen Malta operatives charged around a corner and her temper snapped.
“That’s it! Everyone’s volunteered for a trip to the burn ward!”
***
The duplicate stuck her head up from behind the ruined desk, looking at the scattered piles of bodies around a completely untouched Purrfect Archer. Her original paid no attention to her, stalking over and pulling Silent Blade out of a crushed file cabinet. “Now then. Let me say this one last time, and let’s see if you get the message. You go around murdering people, and I’ll break you.” Staring into her eyes for a moment, Alice nodded and dropped her, turning back to her twin. “Okay you, we need to talk.”
“... okay,” she managed, looking rather terrified. Alice smiled, breaking the effect.
“Don’t worry, you behave and you’ve got nothing to worry about. I mean, you didn’t kill anyone, right?”
“I... don’t think so?” she replied, still looking somewhat nervous as Alice came over and sat down next to her. “They just wanted me to make a really big mess and make you look bad.”
“So you went along with it?” Alice wondered, and she nodded again. “What’s your name, anyway?”
“... My name?” the girl asked, looking confused. “Why would I have a name?” It was an honest question, and Alice sighed, placing a hand on her shoulder.
“What did they call you?”
“Uh... Subversion Unit Seven-nine,” she replied, blinking again as Alice groaned. “Did... Did I do something wrong?”
“A few things,” the woman replied with a soft smile. “Let’s see what we can do about fixing that.”
Then, with a soggy foot and a headache from all the Seers, she got a phone call from the PPD, regarding someone that looked like her in a black version of her usual costume robbing a bank and blowing up two police cars. There was no doubt in anyones mind it was yet another clone by the 5th Column, or an evil Alice from another dimension, or a Nemesis automaton, or possibly a new way of using her face for evil, but it was still a terrible pain, and Alice had to go meet with the PPD, as opposed to going and getting lunch.
Then she found the police station full of Malta operatives, all of them trying to kill her, an idiot uniformed police officer that actually believed she’d turned evil, and was claiming she’d already turned herself in... And then Silent Blade showed up, claiming she’d been hired to kill her for her crimes
It would be fair to say that Purrfect Archer was not having a good day. It would be more accurate to say she was having a miserable day, and she’d taken her frustrations out on one of the worlds greatest assassins. Had she been less irritated, she’d have been rather amazed at how easily she beat down the woman, Silent Blade never even touching her before being disarmed and embedded in the floor.
Of course, the day was made even worse when her double showed up, furious at her interference. Five seconds later, Alice was brushing dust off her hands, glaring at the woman climbing out of a shattered desk. “Sit down and don’t move,” she snarled, stepping on the clones bow and snapping it.
“You won’t get away with this you villain!” the duplicate growled, switching tactics. “I don’t know how you were able to defeat me, but I’ll find a way to stop you.” Alice rolled her eyes and let fire dance over her hand, making the clone shut up.
“A minute ago you were going on about your Malta allies in front of video and audio surveillance, so don’t try the old ‘I’m the real me’ routine,” she muttered. “I’m having a bad day and if you keep it up, I’ll demonstrate how easy it is to turn off your bladder control.”
“... What?” the girl blinked.
“Adult diapers for the rest of your life if you keep annoying me.”
“... I’ll be good,” the duplicate said, looking rather horrified all of a sudden.
“Good girl,” the real Archer said. “Now, let’s discuss who you really are, and why you decided to rob some banks with my face.”
Behind her, Silent Blade pulled herself back to a standing position, watching the scene quietly for a long moment. She stared at Alices back, then at the duplicate. Then she darted forward, grabbing her sword from where it had fallen, bringing it up in a swing designed to take the duplicates head clean off-
Only to have the blade glance off Alices armored gauntlet in a shower of sparks. “Oh what the hell?” the catgirl snarled.
“I was hired to kill Purrfect Archer,” Silent Blade said calmly, meeting Alices eyes with a cold amusement that only irritated the heroine even more. “And so I shall. The Purrfect Archer guilty of the crimes that resulted in my contract. It is no longer your concern.” Behind her, her duplicate squeaked in terror.
Flames and psychic energy wrapped around Purrfect Archers body. “No one is murdering anyone today, understood?”
“I shall not underestimate you again, but I will dispose of my target,” Blade said, then lunged. Archer twisted, avoiding the blade with ease, then drove her fist into Silent Blades face, a pulse of telekinetic force throwing her across the room again. Her ears twitched at the sound of movement behind her and she turned to look at her clone, who was currently trying to sneak away.
“Sit. Down.” The telepathic command accompanying those words weren’t really needed as the duplicate did as she was told. Alice terrified her, honestly. Nodding in satisfaction, she turned back to Silent Blade, then casually avoided the next lunge, blasted her away again, then put an arrow through the womans leg.
“Ngh! You... will not stop me from claiming my target,” she managed, actually standing up again. Alice growled in frustration, ears going flat, and then about half a dozen Malta operatives charged around a corner and her temper snapped.
“That’s it! Everyone’s volunteered for a trip to the burn ward!”
***
The duplicate stuck her head up from behind the ruined desk, looking at the scattered piles of bodies around a completely untouched Purrfect Archer. Her original paid no attention to her, stalking over and pulling Silent Blade out of a crushed file cabinet. “Now then. Let me say this one last time, and let’s see if you get the message. You go around murdering people, and I’ll break you.” Staring into her eyes for a moment, Alice nodded and dropped her, turning back to her twin. “Okay you, we need to talk.”
“... okay,” she managed, looking rather terrified. Alice smiled, breaking the effect.
“Don’t worry, you behave and you’ve got nothing to worry about. I mean, you didn’t kill anyone, right?”
“I... don’t think so?” she replied, still looking somewhat nervous as Alice came over and sat down next to her. “They just wanted me to make a really big mess and make you look bad.”
“So you went along with it?” Alice wondered, and she nodded again. “What’s your name, anyway?”
“... My name?” the girl asked, looking confused. “Why would I have a name?” It was an honest question, and Alice sighed, placing a hand on her shoulder.
“What did they call you?”
“Uh... Subversion Unit Seven-nine,” she replied, blinking again as Alice groaned. “Did... Did I do something wrong?”
“A few things,” the woman replied with a soft smile. “Let’s see what we can do about fixing that.”