And we now have the next piece. Thanks go out to Spud for beta-ing the piece, and to Ankh for both beta-ing and use of Enynn.
Tales of the Legendary
[A Hero Sandwich Production]
Smouldering Decay: Peace Offerings (pt. 1)
It took me the majority of the following day to transition my apartment into something resembling clean. A new vacuum and new sheets were acquired. The vacuum was put to work removing all the soot that I had failed to pick up the previous day. The sheets started to soak in my 'cauldron'. The cauldron was in reality a smallish metal trashcan, big enough to fit large projects (like an entire set of bed coverings), but small enough that I could still lift it when full of water. It currently sat on an industrial hot plate in the corner of the living room flanked by a plastic milk crates full of notebooks, and my toolbox. Aside from the sheets the trashcan was full of water, fabric softener, some aluminum hydroxide flakes, a small igneous rock, and a few other semi-magical items.
I didn't know the final magical enchantments I would use on the sheets. But that wasn't a reason not to get started. The longer the sheets steeped the more even the resulting enchantments tended to be. Soaking the sheets for longer than the six hours spent on the last set wouldn't save them if the enchantments I ended up placing on them weren't up to the task. But I hoped it would prevent them from suffering the same fate, mainly being full of little holes where the enchantment wasn't as evenly applied.
It was a little before six pm when I vanquished the last of the soot. There were still a few scorched body parts on the hallway walls, but those could be painted over at a later date. The washing machine had done an admirable job of removing the carbonized portions of clothing and linen fed into it. So barring any premature hedonistic romps with Chris, or energetic spell failure, my apartment was clean enough. This called for a celebration, or at least treating myself to a nice meal. I could get started on serious enchantment work after dinner. I turned the heat down on the hotplate, and hoped in the shower to clean up quickly.
I called Corrine as I was drying myself off and picking out clothing that would be suitable for both dinner and spellwork. Her voicemail picked up and I left a message. In my experience there were two only reasons why she wouldn't welcome the chance for hero gossip: she was otherwise occupied for the night, or she was worn out from work. Given Corrine's penchant for men and the somewhat hectic nature of MAGI I laid even odds on the two. In either case I would get a groggy call sometime tomorrow morning wanting to catch up.
One name did jump out at me while I was scrolling through the contacts on my phone though. Someone who I hadn't talked with in far too long and who might be able to help with the spellwork. Last I had heard, she might be just as preoccupied as Corrine, but it was worth a shot.
The phone picked up on the fourth ring to a somewhat groggy "Hello?"
"Hi Enynn, It's Decay. Sorry if I'm waking you." I said, and waited to hear if her response had any voices in the background.
There was some muted rustling before she replied "No, it's ok. I should be up anyway. What's going on?" She sounded marginally more awake, and there weren't any other questioning voices. Which meant that I probably hadn't interrupted anything.
"I need your help with some magic. I was going to offer dinner as payment, but maybe breakfast is more appropriate."
Enynn yawned and said "As long as the magic doesn't involve idiots in robes or aliens, food actually sounds like a good idea."
"Great. How does Hunan Slam sound? Or is Der Waffle House more up your alley?"
There was silence for a few seconds as Enynn mulled it over before she voted. "Hunan, see you there in … half an hour?"
"Half an hour." I confirmed. "Don't wear anything that can't get sooty."
"Yeah, yeah." She said through a smaller yawn. "When you're asking for magical help, soot is assumed."
"Ha ha ha." I deadpanned. "See you there."
"Later." Enynn said as she hung up.
I tossed my notebook and few other magical supplies into my satchel bag/overgrown purse and made my way out the door.
Hunan Slam was a smallish Chinese restaurant that was not afraid to make their food spicy. The owners were immigrants who knew how to make good authentic cuisine. At least I assumed the owners were immigrants, you don't get accents that thick and heavy growing up exposed to english. They were also not afraid to try and absorb traditional american dishes into their menu. More often than not their attempts were about as comprehensible as their speech, not at all. After making the mistake of trying the abomination they called 'chili', I have decided to stick the traditional dishes.
I was already seated at a table and doodling runes in my notebook when Enynn arrived. She saw me and worked her way over as I dropped my notebook in my bag. As Enynn made her way between the mostly vacant tables I was reminded that perhaps, just maybe, I should pay more attention to how I looked. She had on a simple camisole and skirt combo in dark red, accented with a braided belt in yellow and orange. High heel shoes of some variety were also evident, thought I picked that up more from how she walked than any clear view I had of them. It was simple clothing but it fit her well, conveying the idea of an outfit, a unified whole that matched, with far more subtlety than I was able to pull from my wardrobe.
"Hey Lisa, I didn't think you went for the gangster look." Enynn said with a nod to my bandana adorned head as she sat down. The bandana, a muted orange thing, was a throwback to my earlier days when I didn't have as fine grained control over my powers. It prevented my hair from going up in flames in a fight before I learned to modulate the temperate around my body. I had tried to match it with my shirt, a lighter orange tee, and cargo pants, rusty colored and full of pockets. But Enynn's comment echoed the doubt in my head that I would never turn more heads by walking into a room than by setting parts of it on fire.
I scowled briefly and tucked some of the burnt ends of hair that had worked their way free from under the bandana back into hiding. "Hey En. It's the least evil of the options I had available." I replied and couldn't quite keep the smile off my lips as I remembered once again what had lead to my impromptu haircut.
"You need better options." Enynn said with a smirk as she perused the menu.
"I'll take the occasional impromptu haircut over having to deal with shaving my legs, thanks" I said as I glanced over their beer selection. Sigh, nothing but cheap asian imports, the eastern equivalent of bud.
"One of these days you're going to overdo it and end up bald and missing your eyebrows." Enynn said, her tone half way between warning and joking.
"I haven't lost my eyebrows." I objected.
"Yet." was all Enynn had to say.
I didn't have an immediate comeback for that, so I settled for conceding her point with a slight nod.
I tried to think of a way to breach the topic I needed her help on that would minimize the inevitable teasing. My brain failed to up with one and I was left steering the conversation towards safer topics, like amusing costume gaffes in Atlas and failed villain plot of the week. Enynn was kind enough to not to bring up the topic I had mentioned over the phone, and was now avoiding, as we enjoyed spicy food and talked about nothing of major significance.
At least she waited until after we had finished our meals and I was waiting for the check.
"Soo…" Enynn drawled out, as she leaned back in her chair. "What magical problem messes up your hair, has you smiling more in past hour than I've seen in the past three missions we've been on together, and then causes you to avoid it like small rodents run from Sammy?"
I felt myself deflate and blush at the same time. I hid as best I could by putting my elbows on the table and burying my face in my hands. "prophylactics" I muttered.
I could see Enynn perk up through my fingers. "What was that?"
"Prophylactics." I said a little more clearly "I need some that don't melt."
"What do yo- Ooooh." Enynn said her voice shifting from confused to amused as pieces fell into place. She paused for a second then continued in a much more confidential tone. "Soo, who is it?"
When I didn't answer right away she began to guess. "There weren't any nuclear explosions, so it wasn't Terr. Which I honestly thought this was all about. Hmm, not Superball? I'd heard rumors that you two were seen together." She trailed off, waiting for a response.
"Flaming Wreckage!" I blurted out, more out of fear that people might consider my disastrous date with Superball something that could occur in this reality, than anything else.
Enynn's smile got wider. "Did Kentucky join in as well? I always thought that those two were joined at the hip. Having both at once, mmmm"
"What? No!" I said a little louder than I expected, feeling my face renew it's blush at that thought. I took a quick glance around, if the few other diners had taken notice of our conversation they were being polite and pretending they hadn't. "I'm not… safe for Kentucky to be around when I get excited." I continued in a quieter voice.
I saw a flicker of something behind her smile. "So you get a little hot when you get bothered, that's not exactly unique." Enynn said with a gesture to herself. "And it seems like you have found a guy who can scratch your itch. I'm not seeing the problem. It's not like many viruses or bacteria can function above 200 degrees celsius or so, not that I think Flaming Wreckage has any."
"Of course he doesn't." I said, perhaps unnecessarily.
I was about to explain exactly what the problem was, and further embarrass myself, when I saw the waiter approaching with the check. "Thanks." I said to the waiter as I gave the check a brief once over and dropped enough cash on the table to cover the meal and tip. I turned back to Enynn "We aren't having this conversation here. I can explain things better at the apartment."
Enynn just smiled and nodded. I'm not sure if she was more amused by my reactions or the thought of me with Chris.
The train ride back to my apartment wasn't as bad as it could have been. Enynn spent most of the time digging for details about what Chris is like. Her command of the double (and occasional triple) entendre was impressive. I would have been highly amused if I wasn't the one being questioned. I managed to weather the storm of questions by answering with in as few syllables as possible.
When we finally arrived at my humble abode Enynn had given up on getting a detailed description of Chris's "abilities". I turned on the lights, locked the door, took my shoes off, and lead the way into the kitchen. I was grateful we didn't go far enough down the hallway for her to see the sections of scorched wall in any detail. Enynn crossed her arms, leaned against the kitchen counter, and raised an eyebrow. The expression on her face making it clear that an explanation for my continued delaying tactics would be appreciated.
I stalled for another few seconds, depositing my bag on the counter and getting both of us a beer. Before I finally said "I don't want kids."
Enynn sipped at the beer and said nothing, waiting for me to elaborate.
"I don't want kids." I repeated, and then continued. "And condoms just kinda melt. And my body thinks the hormonal changes from the pill is damage to be fixed. And everything I've been able to dig up magically is about increasing the odds of conception." I took a sip of my beer and then corrected "Ok, not everything. But there is no way I'm using watered down curses on myself."
"So your just worried about conception?" Enynn asked.
"Yup." I said. "The heat makes normal STDs, not that either of us have one, a non-issue. And I haven't heard of anything magical I need to worry about."
"And abstinence won't work" Enynn said, more of a statement than a question.
I just snorted and took a swig of my beer.
"Rhythm method?" Her voice was skeptical even as she asked the question.
"If I was calm and level headed that might work." I said "But when was the last time you were calm and level headed two seconds before orgasm?"
Enynn gave a short laugh. "If you're calm and level headed, you're doing it wrong."
"What about a thicker plastic? Or something besides plastic?" She asked after a few seconds of thoughtful silence.
I looked at my beer for as I tried not to blush. "Thicker plastic just takes longer to melt, and it smells worse." My attempts not to blush failed as I continued "The only things that might work are thick leather or metal, everything else I've… experimented with went up in smoke. Literally in some cases."
"Sheepskin condoms never were a big hit." Enynn said, then laughed. "And despite what guys may say, I don't think they want literal brass balls."
"You see my dilemma." I said, getting a little depressed.
"Diaphragms?" Enynn said after a minute.
"Those melt too." I grimaced "and getting all the melted plastic bits out is a pain."
Enynn mirrored my frown for a second, then asked "What about one made out of leather?"
I opened my mouth to say something, then stopped. That could work! "Genius!" I said as I left the rest of my beer on the counter and started to drag Enynn towards the living room.
Enynn looked a little surprised, but followed. "Well I didn't think you swung this way either, and it wasn't what I planned for the night, but ok." She said with smile.
I had dragged us halfway into the living room before her words registered. "That's not what I need you for!" I protested, punching her lightly on the shoulder. "I need to study how the runes fail, and I can't do that nearly as well if I'm also the one providing the heat."
"Tease." Enynn said with a pout, but her tone was light enough that I knew she wasn't really mad.
I let go of Enynn and went to fetch the toolbox from where it sat in the corner, next to the still simmering trash can. Enynn sat down in one of the chairs as I carefully wheeled the toolbox over. It came up to my hip and weighed half of me easy, so it wasn't something I wanted to roll over a foot.
"Sure you have everything you need in there?" Enynn joked. "It would be a shame if you couldn't fit all your tools into your box."
"Har-de-har-har." I said as I started to dig through it and pull various things out. A thick ceramic baseplate, roughly the size of a cutting board came out first. Followed in short order by a few scraps of leather, a pair of heavy shears, and a variety of metallic felt tip pens. A few more moments of digging produced two pair of heavy goggles, one of which I passed to Enynn.
Enynn took the goggles, and then glanced down at the camisole she was was wearing. "I'm not going to end up with holes in my clothes am I?"
"I hope not, it's been a while since I've had something blow up in my face. I can get you a welding smock if you want." I said as I sat down cross legged on one side of the coffee table and began to set things up.
Enynn glanced at the table top and the arm of the chair she was sitting in. Both surfaces had a scattering of small burn marks. "Don't bother" She said, and stripped. "Unless you need me to wear it?" she teased as she sat down on the floor across the table.
"No" I said quickly, grateful that the coffee table hid everything below the waist. I focused on cutting templates out of the leather scraps.
Enynn glanced at the size I was making the diaphragms, roughly six inches across, and raised an eyebrow. "And I thought that only guys exaggerated their size. If you're that big around any guy will have adequacy issues."
I gaped at her for a second, and before my brain could come up with a response she tacked on "Well that or I really need to borrow Flaming Wreckage."
I sputtered for a few seconds before I managed to get out "Experiments… larger… I'm not… arg!" I gave up and rested my head on my arms, hiding my now red face.
The sounds of Enynn struggling to keep in laughter caused me to look up. Apparently the sight of me flabbergasted and blushing was too much, she laughed loudly for a few seconds and then fell onto her side giving little wheezy hiccups. I tried not to be distracted by what the laughter did to her chest.
I took several deep breaths to calm myself and said "If you are quite finished. These are double to triple the size needed so that I can quickly draw the needed runes. The final product will be done in metal wire, which is much thiner than the felt pens." I tried not to frown as Enynn got her breathing under control and heaved herself vertical again.
"Sorry sorry." She said, and she actually managed to look it too. "It's just that you are normally much better with the banter." She paused and then added "This pregnancy thing really bother you that much?"
"No. Yes. Maybe." I sighed "I don't know. This is the first relationship that might actually work for me here. And I like Wreck, and I want it to work, and the sex is great. But I don't know if I can bring myself to have kids. One of these days the eggheads in portal corps are going to finally track down where I came from and I might have to go back to help with the war. If I'm still with Wreck when that happens, well he's an adult and he can decide for himself. But I don't think I could do that if I had a kid. I couldn't leave a kid without their mom, and I certainly couldn't bring them with me."
I studied my hands a bit more. "So if I had a child, I would be giving up on going home. I would be admitting that my world is lost forever, or that there isn't anyone left to go back to." I sniffed a bit rubbed at my eyes, making sure the tears there didn't fall. "Sorry, that was more than you asked for."
"It's ok." Enynn said, her voice softer, more subdued. Then she gripped one of my hands across the table in a silent show of support. "It's exactly what I asked for."
We stayed like that for a few seconds until I got my breathing back under control. I looked up to see Enynn giving me a small, more serious smile.
"All right, serious mojo time. What do you need me to do?" She asked.
I nodded and answered "I'll draw a set of runes on the leather. I need you to heat it slowly to about 700 degrees, preferably over the heat shield." I tapped the ceramic slab "Because setting the table on fire is bad.
"At some point the runes will fail. I will be studying exactly how they fail so the next attempt will last longer. We repeat this until we find a set of runes that works, we run out of materials, or we get too tired to safely do the experiment. Any questions?"
Enynn actually looked serious for the first time this evening. "Nope."
"Ok" I said, picking up the first leather template and covering one side with runes in swift sure strokes.
Six beers, four burned scraps of leather, and more runes than I cared to remember later, we had success.
"Yes!" I shouted throwing my hands up in the air and collapsing back against the chair I was sitting in front of.
Enynn let the fire in her hands die and dropped the singed rounded triangle of leather onto the ceramic plate. She arched her back and I heard several pops. I kept my eyes firmly on the ceiling. One of these days I'm going to have to setup an actual worktable with proper ergonomics.
"Crap." Enynn said after a few seconds.
"What?" I asked, not moving from my reclined position.
"Some of the runes are turning black." She answered morosely.
I groaned and pulled myself upright again to look at the damage. Sure enough several of the runes had little black lines worming along their surface. I took off my goggles and poked at them with a finger, making sure that the magic I had willed into the runes was still intact. The black lines smeared away leaving tacky silver paint beneath. "We're still good." I said with a smile. "That's just impurities in the paint settling on top."
"Yay." Enynn said with less than the normal amount of enthusiasm as she pulled off her goggles.
Between the chair and the table I managed to lever myself upright and stand semi-vertical. My legs complained about this sudden demand with pins and needles. The movement also peeled my shirt free from my back, where it had been stuck with dried sweat. I reached over the table and offered a hand to Enynn. "Come on, get up. we both need a shower and you get first dibs."
"Thanks." Enynn said as I pulled her up.
I was quickly reminded about her less than dressed state, but I was too worn out to do much besides blink. "Take a left down the hallway, another left at the end. Bathroom is through my bedroom. Clean towels should be on the door." Enynn nodded and walked a slightly crooked path to the door.
I started the cleanup process. Empty beer bottles went in the recycling bin. Burned leather and other carbonized substances went in the trash. Ceramic slab, tools, and unused leather went back in toolbox. The successful leather prototype went on top of the toolbox, which was dragged back to it's corner. I'd do a final copy tomorrow. I glanced at my simmering trash can. There was no way I was getting to that tonight, and it had stewed in there for long enough. I turned off the hotplate and stuck the lid on the can. I'd finish that project later.
I didn't have the energy to finish the bedding problem tonight. But knew I should at least write down a few ideas that could be adapted from tonights experiment while they were fresh in my head. A few minutes of fruitless searching through my milkcrate of notebooks later, I remembered the one labeled "sheets" was in my bag, in the kitchen. I dragged myself back to the kitchen to acquire it when I noticed the clock on the microwave. There was no way it was only 10pm. I felt far too tired for it to be anything earlier than midnight.
But standing around staring at clocks wasn't going to solve anything, so I grabbed my bag and stumbled back to the living room. Writing down as many of the nebulous thoughts and ideas as I could force into logical sentences I managed to fill three whole pages. How much of that I would understand in the morning was an entirely different question, and one I couldn't quite bring myself to care about right now.
I was staring at next blank page, trying to nail down the nagging feeling I was forgetting something, when Enynn reappeared. The towel she wore around her chest barely reached her hips, and her still damp skin glistened a bit. I ignored the little nagging voice in the back of my head that said 'see, this is exactly why local-you has Terr and Rhea'. I ignored it because it had been made crystal clear to me how fragile local-me thought her relationship was, and what would happen to me if I endangered it. I didn't need that kind of stress in my own relationship. Not when I had just gotten it started.
Further ruminations on love polygons were interrupted when Enynn waved a hand in front of my face. "Hey you still awake in there?"
I blinked up at her and noticed that she had gotten dressed when I wasn't paying attention. That didn't make me disappointed, really. "Huh? Ya. I'm awake." I said, closing the notebook and getting up. "Sorry, more tired than I thought."
"Thanks for dinner and the shower, but it looks like I should go. You're falling asleep on your feet."
I couldn't really disagree. So I followed her to the door, opened it, and mumbled some semi-intelligible thanks for her help.
Enynn said something about expecting testing results I didn't quite catch and was out the door. I closed the door and locked the door with a negligent brush of my fingers, and stumbled off to bed. A shower could wait until I remained conscious long enough to finish it.
-Terry
-----
"so listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today"
TF2: Spy
Tales of the Legendary
[A Hero Sandwich Production]
Smouldering Decay: Peace Offerings (pt. 1)
It took me the majority of the following day to transition my apartment into something resembling clean. A new vacuum and new sheets were acquired. The vacuum was put to work removing all the soot that I had failed to pick up the previous day. The sheets started to soak in my 'cauldron'. The cauldron was in reality a smallish metal trashcan, big enough to fit large projects (like an entire set of bed coverings), but small enough that I could still lift it when full of water. It currently sat on an industrial hot plate in the corner of the living room flanked by a plastic milk crates full of notebooks, and my toolbox. Aside from the sheets the trashcan was full of water, fabric softener, some aluminum hydroxide flakes, a small igneous rock, and a few other semi-magical items.
I didn't know the final magical enchantments I would use on the sheets. But that wasn't a reason not to get started. The longer the sheets steeped the more even the resulting enchantments tended to be. Soaking the sheets for longer than the six hours spent on the last set wouldn't save them if the enchantments I ended up placing on them weren't up to the task. But I hoped it would prevent them from suffering the same fate, mainly being full of little holes where the enchantment wasn't as evenly applied.
It was a little before six pm when I vanquished the last of the soot. There were still a few scorched body parts on the hallway walls, but those could be painted over at a later date. The washing machine had done an admirable job of removing the carbonized portions of clothing and linen fed into it. So barring any premature hedonistic romps with Chris, or energetic spell failure, my apartment was clean enough. This called for a celebration, or at least treating myself to a nice meal. I could get started on serious enchantment work after dinner. I turned the heat down on the hotplate, and hoped in the shower to clean up quickly.
I called Corrine as I was drying myself off and picking out clothing that would be suitable for both dinner and spellwork. Her voicemail picked up and I left a message. In my experience there were two only reasons why she wouldn't welcome the chance for hero gossip: she was otherwise occupied for the night, or she was worn out from work. Given Corrine's penchant for men and the somewhat hectic nature of MAGI I laid even odds on the two. In either case I would get a groggy call sometime tomorrow morning wanting to catch up.
One name did jump out at me while I was scrolling through the contacts on my phone though. Someone who I hadn't talked with in far too long and who might be able to help with the spellwork. Last I had heard, she might be just as preoccupied as Corrine, but it was worth a shot.
The phone picked up on the fourth ring to a somewhat groggy "Hello?"
"Hi Enynn, It's Decay. Sorry if I'm waking you." I said, and waited to hear if her response had any voices in the background.
There was some muted rustling before she replied "No, it's ok. I should be up anyway. What's going on?" She sounded marginally more awake, and there weren't any other questioning voices. Which meant that I probably hadn't interrupted anything.
"I need your help with some magic. I was going to offer dinner as payment, but maybe breakfast is more appropriate."
Enynn yawned and said "As long as the magic doesn't involve idiots in robes or aliens, food actually sounds like a good idea."
"Great. How does Hunan Slam sound? Or is Der Waffle House more up your alley?"
There was silence for a few seconds as Enynn mulled it over before she voted. "Hunan, see you there in … half an hour?"
"Half an hour." I confirmed. "Don't wear anything that can't get sooty."
"Yeah, yeah." She said through a smaller yawn. "When you're asking for magical help, soot is assumed."
"Ha ha ha." I deadpanned. "See you there."
"Later." Enynn said as she hung up.
I tossed my notebook and few other magical supplies into my satchel bag/overgrown purse and made my way out the door.
Hunan Slam was a smallish Chinese restaurant that was not afraid to make their food spicy. The owners were immigrants who knew how to make good authentic cuisine. At least I assumed the owners were immigrants, you don't get accents that thick and heavy growing up exposed to english. They were also not afraid to try and absorb traditional american dishes into their menu. More often than not their attempts were about as comprehensible as their speech, not at all. After making the mistake of trying the abomination they called 'chili', I have decided to stick the traditional dishes.
I was already seated at a table and doodling runes in my notebook when Enynn arrived. She saw me and worked her way over as I dropped my notebook in my bag. As Enynn made her way between the mostly vacant tables I was reminded that perhaps, just maybe, I should pay more attention to how I looked. She had on a simple camisole and skirt combo in dark red, accented with a braided belt in yellow and orange. High heel shoes of some variety were also evident, thought I picked that up more from how she walked than any clear view I had of them. It was simple clothing but it fit her well, conveying the idea of an outfit, a unified whole that matched, with far more subtlety than I was able to pull from my wardrobe.
"Hey Lisa, I didn't think you went for the gangster look." Enynn said with a nod to my bandana adorned head as she sat down. The bandana, a muted orange thing, was a throwback to my earlier days when I didn't have as fine grained control over my powers. It prevented my hair from going up in flames in a fight before I learned to modulate the temperate around my body. I had tried to match it with my shirt, a lighter orange tee, and cargo pants, rusty colored and full of pockets. But Enynn's comment echoed the doubt in my head that I would never turn more heads by walking into a room than by setting parts of it on fire.
I scowled briefly and tucked some of the burnt ends of hair that had worked their way free from under the bandana back into hiding. "Hey En. It's the least evil of the options I had available." I replied and couldn't quite keep the smile off my lips as I remembered once again what had lead to my impromptu haircut.
"You need better options." Enynn said with a smirk as she perused the menu.
"I'll take the occasional impromptu haircut over having to deal with shaving my legs, thanks" I said as I glanced over their beer selection. Sigh, nothing but cheap asian imports, the eastern equivalent of bud.
"One of these days you're going to overdo it and end up bald and missing your eyebrows." Enynn said, her tone half way between warning and joking.
"I haven't lost my eyebrows." I objected.
"Yet." was all Enynn had to say.
I didn't have an immediate comeback for that, so I settled for conceding her point with a slight nod.
I tried to think of a way to breach the topic I needed her help on that would minimize the inevitable teasing. My brain failed to up with one and I was left steering the conversation towards safer topics, like amusing costume gaffes in Atlas and failed villain plot of the week. Enynn was kind enough to not to bring up the topic I had mentioned over the phone, and was now avoiding, as we enjoyed spicy food and talked about nothing of major significance.
At least she waited until after we had finished our meals and I was waiting for the check.
"Soo…" Enynn drawled out, as she leaned back in her chair. "What magical problem messes up your hair, has you smiling more in past hour than I've seen in the past three missions we've been on together, and then causes you to avoid it like small rodents run from Sammy?"
I felt myself deflate and blush at the same time. I hid as best I could by putting my elbows on the table and burying my face in my hands. "prophylactics" I muttered.
I could see Enynn perk up through my fingers. "What was that?"
"Prophylactics." I said a little more clearly "I need some that don't melt."
"What do yo- Ooooh." Enynn said her voice shifting from confused to amused as pieces fell into place. She paused for a second then continued in a much more confidential tone. "Soo, who is it?"
When I didn't answer right away she began to guess. "There weren't any nuclear explosions, so it wasn't Terr. Which I honestly thought this was all about. Hmm, not Superball? I'd heard rumors that you two were seen together." She trailed off, waiting for a response.
"Flaming Wreckage!" I blurted out, more out of fear that people might consider my disastrous date with Superball something that could occur in this reality, than anything else.
Enynn's smile got wider. "Did Kentucky join in as well? I always thought that those two were joined at the hip. Having both at once, mmmm"
"What? No!" I said a little louder than I expected, feeling my face renew it's blush at that thought. I took a quick glance around, if the few other diners had taken notice of our conversation they were being polite and pretending they hadn't. "I'm not… safe for Kentucky to be around when I get excited." I continued in a quieter voice.
I saw a flicker of something behind her smile. "So you get a little hot when you get bothered, that's not exactly unique." Enynn said with a gesture to herself. "And it seems like you have found a guy who can scratch your itch. I'm not seeing the problem. It's not like many viruses or bacteria can function above 200 degrees celsius or so, not that I think Flaming Wreckage has any."
"Of course he doesn't." I said, perhaps unnecessarily.
I was about to explain exactly what the problem was, and further embarrass myself, when I saw the waiter approaching with the check. "Thanks." I said to the waiter as I gave the check a brief once over and dropped enough cash on the table to cover the meal and tip. I turned back to Enynn "We aren't having this conversation here. I can explain things better at the apartment."
Enynn just smiled and nodded. I'm not sure if she was more amused by my reactions or the thought of me with Chris.
The train ride back to my apartment wasn't as bad as it could have been. Enynn spent most of the time digging for details about what Chris is like. Her command of the double (and occasional triple) entendre was impressive. I would have been highly amused if I wasn't the one being questioned. I managed to weather the storm of questions by answering with in as few syllables as possible.
When we finally arrived at my humble abode Enynn had given up on getting a detailed description of Chris's "abilities". I turned on the lights, locked the door, took my shoes off, and lead the way into the kitchen. I was grateful we didn't go far enough down the hallway for her to see the sections of scorched wall in any detail. Enynn crossed her arms, leaned against the kitchen counter, and raised an eyebrow. The expression on her face making it clear that an explanation for my continued delaying tactics would be appreciated.
I stalled for another few seconds, depositing my bag on the counter and getting both of us a beer. Before I finally said "I don't want kids."
Enynn sipped at the beer and said nothing, waiting for me to elaborate.
"I don't want kids." I repeated, and then continued. "And condoms just kinda melt. And my body thinks the hormonal changes from the pill is damage to be fixed. And everything I've been able to dig up magically is about increasing the odds of conception." I took a sip of my beer and then corrected "Ok, not everything. But there is no way I'm using watered down curses on myself."
"So your just worried about conception?" Enynn asked.
"Yup." I said. "The heat makes normal STDs, not that either of us have one, a non-issue. And I haven't heard of anything magical I need to worry about."
"And abstinence won't work" Enynn said, more of a statement than a question.
I just snorted and took a swig of my beer.
"Rhythm method?" Her voice was skeptical even as she asked the question.
"If I was calm and level headed that might work." I said "But when was the last time you were calm and level headed two seconds before orgasm?"
Enynn gave a short laugh. "If you're calm and level headed, you're doing it wrong."
"What about a thicker plastic? Or something besides plastic?" She asked after a few seconds of thoughtful silence.
I looked at my beer for as I tried not to blush. "Thicker plastic just takes longer to melt, and it smells worse." My attempts not to blush failed as I continued "The only things that might work are thick leather or metal, everything else I've… experimented with went up in smoke. Literally in some cases."
"Sheepskin condoms never were a big hit." Enynn said, then laughed. "And despite what guys may say, I don't think they want literal brass balls."
"You see my dilemma." I said, getting a little depressed.
"Diaphragms?" Enynn said after a minute.
"Those melt too." I grimaced "and getting all the melted plastic bits out is a pain."
Enynn mirrored my frown for a second, then asked "What about one made out of leather?"
I opened my mouth to say something, then stopped. That could work! "Genius!" I said as I left the rest of my beer on the counter and started to drag Enynn towards the living room.
Enynn looked a little surprised, but followed. "Well I didn't think you swung this way either, and it wasn't what I planned for the night, but ok." She said with smile.
I had dragged us halfway into the living room before her words registered. "That's not what I need you for!" I protested, punching her lightly on the shoulder. "I need to study how the runes fail, and I can't do that nearly as well if I'm also the one providing the heat."
"Tease." Enynn said with a pout, but her tone was light enough that I knew she wasn't really mad.
I let go of Enynn and went to fetch the toolbox from where it sat in the corner, next to the still simmering trash can. Enynn sat down in one of the chairs as I carefully wheeled the toolbox over. It came up to my hip and weighed half of me easy, so it wasn't something I wanted to roll over a foot.
"Sure you have everything you need in there?" Enynn joked. "It would be a shame if you couldn't fit all your tools into your box."
"Har-de-har-har." I said as I started to dig through it and pull various things out. A thick ceramic baseplate, roughly the size of a cutting board came out first. Followed in short order by a few scraps of leather, a pair of heavy shears, and a variety of metallic felt tip pens. A few more moments of digging produced two pair of heavy goggles, one of which I passed to Enynn.
Enynn took the goggles, and then glanced down at the camisole she was was wearing. "I'm not going to end up with holes in my clothes am I?"
"I hope not, it's been a while since I've had something blow up in my face. I can get you a welding smock if you want." I said as I sat down cross legged on one side of the coffee table and began to set things up.
Enynn glanced at the table top and the arm of the chair she was sitting in. Both surfaces had a scattering of small burn marks. "Don't bother" She said, and stripped. "Unless you need me to wear it?" she teased as she sat down on the floor across the table.
"No" I said quickly, grateful that the coffee table hid everything below the waist. I focused on cutting templates out of the leather scraps.
Enynn glanced at the size I was making the diaphragms, roughly six inches across, and raised an eyebrow. "And I thought that only guys exaggerated their size. If you're that big around any guy will have adequacy issues."
I gaped at her for a second, and before my brain could come up with a response she tacked on "Well that or I really need to borrow Flaming Wreckage."
I sputtered for a few seconds before I managed to get out "Experiments… larger… I'm not… arg!" I gave up and rested my head on my arms, hiding my now red face.
The sounds of Enynn struggling to keep in laughter caused me to look up. Apparently the sight of me flabbergasted and blushing was too much, she laughed loudly for a few seconds and then fell onto her side giving little wheezy hiccups. I tried not to be distracted by what the laughter did to her chest.
I took several deep breaths to calm myself and said "If you are quite finished. These are double to triple the size needed so that I can quickly draw the needed runes. The final product will be done in metal wire, which is much thiner than the felt pens." I tried not to frown as Enynn got her breathing under control and heaved herself vertical again.
"Sorry sorry." She said, and she actually managed to look it too. "It's just that you are normally much better with the banter." She paused and then added "This pregnancy thing really bother you that much?"
"No. Yes. Maybe." I sighed "I don't know. This is the first relationship that might actually work for me here. And I like Wreck, and I want it to work, and the sex is great. But I don't know if I can bring myself to have kids. One of these days the eggheads in portal corps are going to finally track down where I came from and I might have to go back to help with the war. If I'm still with Wreck when that happens, well he's an adult and he can decide for himself. But I don't think I could do that if I had a kid. I couldn't leave a kid without their mom, and I certainly couldn't bring them with me."
I studied my hands a bit more. "So if I had a child, I would be giving up on going home. I would be admitting that my world is lost forever, or that there isn't anyone left to go back to." I sniffed a bit rubbed at my eyes, making sure the tears there didn't fall. "Sorry, that was more than you asked for."
"It's ok." Enynn said, her voice softer, more subdued. Then she gripped one of my hands across the table in a silent show of support. "It's exactly what I asked for."
We stayed like that for a few seconds until I got my breathing back under control. I looked up to see Enynn giving me a small, more serious smile.
"All right, serious mojo time. What do you need me to do?" She asked.
I nodded and answered "I'll draw a set of runes on the leather. I need you to heat it slowly to about 700 degrees, preferably over the heat shield." I tapped the ceramic slab "Because setting the table on fire is bad.
"At some point the runes will fail. I will be studying exactly how they fail so the next attempt will last longer. We repeat this until we find a set of runes that works, we run out of materials, or we get too tired to safely do the experiment. Any questions?"
Enynn actually looked serious for the first time this evening. "Nope."
"Ok" I said, picking up the first leather template and covering one side with runes in swift sure strokes.
Six beers, four burned scraps of leather, and more runes than I cared to remember later, we had success.
"Yes!" I shouted throwing my hands up in the air and collapsing back against the chair I was sitting in front of.
Enynn let the fire in her hands die and dropped the singed rounded triangle of leather onto the ceramic plate. She arched her back and I heard several pops. I kept my eyes firmly on the ceiling. One of these days I'm going to have to setup an actual worktable with proper ergonomics.
"Crap." Enynn said after a few seconds.
"What?" I asked, not moving from my reclined position.
"Some of the runes are turning black." She answered morosely.
I groaned and pulled myself upright again to look at the damage. Sure enough several of the runes had little black lines worming along their surface. I took off my goggles and poked at them with a finger, making sure that the magic I had willed into the runes was still intact. The black lines smeared away leaving tacky silver paint beneath. "We're still good." I said with a smile. "That's just impurities in the paint settling on top."
"Yay." Enynn said with less than the normal amount of enthusiasm as she pulled off her goggles.
Between the chair and the table I managed to lever myself upright and stand semi-vertical. My legs complained about this sudden demand with pins and needles. The movement also peeled my shirt free from my back, where it had been stuck with dried sweat. I reached over the table and offered a hand to Enynn. "Come on, get up. we both need a shower and you get first dibs."
"Thanks." Enynn said as I pulled her up.
I was quickly reminded about her less than dressed state, but I was too worn out to do much besides blink. "Take a left down the hallway, another left at the end. Bathroom is through my bedroom. Clean towels should be on the door." Enynn nodded and walked a slightly crooked path to the door.
I started the cleanup process. Empty beer bottles went in the recycling bin. Burned leather and other carbonized substances went in the trash. Ceramic slab, tools, and unused leather went back in toolbox. The successful leather prototype went on top of the toolbox, which was dragged back to it's corner. I'd do a final copy tomorrow. I glanced at my simmering trash can. There was no way I was getting to that tonight, and it had stewed in there for long enough. I turned off the hotplate and stuck the lid on the can. I'd finish that project later.
I didn't have the energy to finish the bedding problem tonight. But knew I should at least write down a few ideas that could be adapted from tonights experiment while they were fresh in my head. A few minutes of fruitless searching through my milkcrate of notebooks later, I remembered the one labeled "sheets" was in my bag, in the kitchen. I dragged myself back to the kitchen to acquire it when I noticed the clock on the microwave. There was no way it was only 10pm. I felt far too tired for it to be anything earlier than midnight.
But standing around staring at clocks wasn't going to solve anything, so I grabbed my bag and stumbled back to the living room. Writing down as many of the nebulous thoughts and ideas as I could force into logical sentences I managed to fill three whole pages. How much of that I would understand in the morning was an entirely different question, and one I couldn't quite bring myself to care about right now.
I was staring at next blank page, trying to nail down the nagging feeling I was forgetting something, when Enynn reappeared. The towel she wore around her chest barely reached her hips, and her still damp skin glistened a bit. I ignored the little nagging voice in the back of my head that said 'see, this is exactly why local-you has Terr and Rhea'. I ignored it because it had been made crystal clear to me how fragile local-me thought her relationship was, and what would happen to me if I endangered it. I didn't need that kind of stress in my own relationship. Not when I had just gotten it started.
Further ruminations on love polygons were interrupted when Enynn waved a hand in front of my face. "Hey you still awake in there?"
I blinked up at her and noticed that she had gotten dressed when I wasn't paying attention. That didn't make me disappointed, really. "Huh? Ya. I'm awake." I said, closing the notebook and getting up. "Sorry, more tired than I thought."
"Thanks for dinner and the shower, but it looks like I should go. You're falling asleep on your feet."
I couldn't really disagree. So I followed her to the door, opened it, and mumbled some semi-intelligible thanks for her help.
Enynn said something about expecting testing results I didn't quite catch and was out the door. I closed the door and locked the door with a negligent brush of my fingers, and stumbled off to bed. A shower could wait until I remained conscious long enough to finish it.
-Terry
-----
"so listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today"
TF2: Spy