I'm always hesitant to be the first about these things, and I'm not sure why. So, ahem, sorry about the delay. I read it straight away, y'know. 
I liked this quite a bit, though Realpolitik is a complete unknown to me prior to this bit. I feel like I know him a bit better now, except I don't think I've ever actually met him, so to speak. That said...
... well, hell, Acyl. As usual, at the technical side of things I can only gape in envy.
So, yeah. Very well crafted, loved the perspective -- you really rock the internal monologue thing, you know? -- and for what it is it's very, very well done.
It's just too damn short.
No, seriously. If there's a fault here, I think it's that we have the setup, the climax, and the finale -- all in one gulp, with no real transition between them. It feels like a one-shot -- it IS a one-shot, if I'm reading the notes right -- and in that sense all that is fine. I mean, it's a short story, emphasis on short, and it's self-contained. No harm there.
But the characterization is deep enough, and the repercussions of whatever-it-is the girl is doing (and who IS she, by the way?) are dire enough, that it feels ... I'm not sure. It feels too big for a one-shot short story.
And by god, man, now you've got me wanting to know what the history between Realpolitik and Sell-Sword actually is.
So all in all, kudos on a job well done! It IS well done. I just wish there was more meat to chew on, and hope that you've got more in the pipeline somewhere... 'cause it doesn't feel quite done yet, to me. This steak is done to a fine rareness; now we need the side dish and a fine wine to complete the meal. *grin*
--sofaspud
--"Listening to your kid is the audio equivalent of a Salvador Dali painting, Spud." --OpMegs
I liked this quite a bit, though Realpolitik is a complete unknown to me prior to this bit. I feel like I know him a bit better now, except I don't think I've ever actually met him, so to speak. That said...
... well, hell, Acyl. As usual, at the technical side of things I can only gape in envy.
So, yeah. Very well crafted, loved the perspective -- you really rock the internal monologue thing, you know? -- and for what it is it's very, very well done.
It's just too damn short.
No, seriously. If there's a fault here, I think it's that we have the setup, the climax, and the finale -- all in one gulp, with no real transition between them. It feels like a one-shot -- it IS a one-shot, if I'm reading the notes right -- and in that sense all that is fine. I mean, it's a short story, emphasis on short, and it's self-contained. No harm there.
But the characterization is deep enough, and the repercussions of whatever-it-is the girl is doing (and who IS she, by the way?) are dire enough, that it feels ... I'm not sure. It feels too big for a one-shot short story.
And by god, man, now you've got me wanting to know what the history between Realpolitik and Sell-Sword actually is.
So all in all, kudos on a job well done! It IS well done. I just wish there was more meat to chew on, and hope that you've got more in the pipeline somewhere... 'cause it doesn't feel quite done yet, to me. This steak is done to a fine rareness; now we need the side dish and a fine wine to complete the meal. *grin*
--sofaspud
--"Listening to your kid is the audio equivalent of a Salvador Dali painting, Spud." --OpMegs