Um. Maybe I'm just oblivious? But I have *no clue* what you're referring to with your comment about "how that turned out".
As for the text... I can't say the treatment here intrigues me, exactly, but it's interesting, at least. If you're looking for critique, there's a lot of grammar errors and word choice errors in here, which I can only surmise would come back to bite you if your intent is to submit this commercially and/or professionally.
If you're just looking for gut reactions... I'm shrugging positively? I dunno. There isn't anything in here that hooks *me*, but that could easily just be me; I'm interested, but mostly in the "okay, show me something with some meat on it and I might like it" sense.
--sofaspud
--"Listening to your kid is the audio equivalent of a Salvador Dali painting, Spud." --OpMegs
As for the text... I can't say the treatment here intrigues me, exactly, but it's interesting, at least. If you're looking for critique, there's a lot of grammar errors and word choice errors in here, which I can only surmise would come back to bite you if your intent is to submit this commercially and/or professionally.
If you're just looking for gut reactions... I'm shrugging positively? I dunno. There isn't anything in here that hooks *me*, but that could easily just be me; I'm interested, but mostly in the "okay, show me something with some meat on it and I might like it" sense.
--sofaspud
--"Listening to your kid is the audio equivalent of a Salvador Dali painting, Spud." --OpMegs