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The Loon and the Ladies From Avalon, First Chapter Draft
 
#15
hmmm. The one that keeps sticking out to me is:
Quote:A tank's diesel engine going full-throttle.

Sensing the slight tremor in the Earth under my butt, I quickly turned to look where the noise was coming from . . . and then gaped on seeing a very impressive-looking machine come out from behind a thick stand of trees, racing down a nearby path at a VERY good clip. On recognising said tank as a Leopard 2 – the main battle tank of the German Army and a few other armies – I then blinked as nearly-forgotten briefings on such machines came back to me. Leopards were diesel-driven machines; they didn't have the turbine engine an M1A1 Abrams possessed.

clearly, if the canadian version of the Lep 2 has a turbine, you shouldnt say its a diesil in the line before. Might be others like that, but they arn't as stuck in my mind at the moment
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-

NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children
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Messages In This Thread
[No subject] - by robkelk - 07-01-2012, 04:41 PM
[No subject] - by Pyeknu - 07-01-2012, 05:34 PM
[No subject] - by robkelk - 07-01-2012, 07:36 PM
[No subject] - by Pyeknu - 07-01-2012, 09:47 PM
[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 07-02-2012, 03:05 AM
[No subject] - by Pyeknu - 07-02-2012, 04:53 AM
[No subject] - by Pyeknu - 07-02-2012, 04:59 AM
Wetter Hexe's military rank - by Pyeknu - 07-02-2012, 05:00 AM
[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 07-02-2012, 02:35 PM
[No subject] - by Pyeknu - 07-02-2012, 06:10 PM
[No subject] - by Pyeknu - 07-08-2012, 01:23 AM
[No subject] - by Star Ranger4 - 07-08-2012, 04:59 AM
[No subject] - by Pyeknu - 07-08-2012, 05:58 AM
[No subject] - by Star Ranger4 - 07-08-2012, 07:27 AM
[No subject] - by Pyeknu - 07-08-2012, 08:27 AM
First Part On the Website - by Pyeknu - 07-11-2012, 04:42 AM

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