Couldn't resist this one, considering where this thread is going...
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Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
Dr Schlambaugh, a senior lecturer at the Chemical Engineering Department, University of Oklahoma, is known for setting questions in final exam papers like "why do aeroplanes fly?".
In May 1997, the "Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer" exam paper contained the question "Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof". Most students wrote proofs of their thoughts using Boyles Law or similar. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First we must postulate that if souls exist, they must have a mass. If they do, then a mole of souls must also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell it does not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at some of the religions in the world today.
Some religions say that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. As there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell. Therefore with the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
Now we look at the rate of change in the volume of Hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of the souls and volume needs to stay constant.
Answer #1: So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
Answer #2: Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulation given to me by Teresa Banyan during fresher's week that "it'll be a cold day in hell before I sleep with you" and, taking into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Answer#2 cannot be correct: thus Quad Erat Demonstrandum that Hell is exothermic"
> The student got the only A
===================
Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
Dr Schlambaugh, a senior lecturer at the Chemical Engineering Department, University of Oklahoma, is known for setting questions in final exam papers like "why do aeroplanes fly?".
In May 1997, the "Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer" exam paper contained the question "Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof". Most students wrote proofs of their thoughts using Boyles Law or similar. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First we must postulate that if souls exist, they must have a mass. If they do, then a mole of souls must also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell it does not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at some of the religions in the world today.
Some religions say that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. As there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell. Therefore with the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
Now we look at the rate of change in the volume of Hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of the souls and volume needs to stay constant.
Answer #1: So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
Answer #2: Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulation given to me by Teresa Banyan during fresher's week that "it'll be a cold day in hell before I sleep with you" and, taking into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Answer#2 cannot be correct: thus Quad Erat Demonstrandum that Hell is exothermic"
> The student got the only A