vorticity Wrote:Um, I asked about a Minako-kai... you know what, never mind.
<blink> You know, my eye passed right over that. I must have been more tired than I thought last night.
vorticity Wrote:Maybe there hasn't been a lot of response because the chapter was kind of what we expected from you, based on previous steps and the advance scenes: Doug arrives in alternate Tokyo, sets up a job for himself, we are introduced to the cast of characters, and Doug makes his first subtle alteration to the plot. Actually, the most unusual thing is that Doug found the center of the story[1] pretty much first thing, and got a lot of exposition out of the way very quickly. Most of the time he's fumbling around the setting trying to put all of the pieces together, but somehow he's managed to bypass all of that this time. I will probably miss that, as Doug's awkwardness around a setting that the reader knows better than he is a signature part of your writing style. And it's super funny.
[1]: The one leading to the many is Tsukino Usagi. Usagi is the one.
This is true. But trust me... the changes that cascade from here on -- well, you know, I'll just let you discover them as they happen. But Doug's still going to be fumbling about. While at the same time being very competent at the things he's got long practice in. I mean... he hasn't realized it yet, but he's just set himself up as a practicing public superhero for the first time in literally decades -- in fact, since he was ejected from Warriors' World. (Just to complicate things, one of his last stops before this world, if not the last stop, was the "Moses" nanoStep, where he spent 20 years or so in a nomadic Iron-Age society... It hasn't affected his ability to fit back in to modern life yet...)
-- Bob
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Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.