Quote:
Flamethrower by J. Geils Band
Quote:Must've missed it.
Already defined as a Simulacrum song - specifically, it "[c]onjures a simulacrum of Sailor Mars."
Quote:
I've Been Everywhere by Johnny Cash
Quote:Good catch, but really that would just mean that Doug could choose from whichever version was convenient for him. Presumably they'd both be valid, if either was.
That's a cover, with the place names changed from the original Australian ones. (It was originally by Geoff Mack, back in 1962.)
One thing I'd like to know is if a transportation song that involved teleporting to a location merely because the song is about there would be valid. Teleportation beyond the area of effect is already available with Homeward Bound, the issue is just that there's usually no relevant verb with these sorts of things.
If so, there's plenty of possibilities, e.g. New York, New York, I Love L.A., Dirty Water, South of the Border, Moons of Jupiter, etc. But a ruling on this would be helpful before time was spent looking for 'em.
One more suggestion:
Off Limits--
Our House by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. (If Neil Young's involvement is a problem, well, he didn't _write_ the song, so perhaps a cover would be suitable)
In practice, this song has a somewhat delayed effect. It doesn't appear do anything at all until about halfway through the song ("Our house is a very, very fine house") at which point whatever house Doug has been living in drops out of the sky. As do two cats, which aren't necessarily Doug's cats, they're just whatever was convenient for the song to grab; the cats are unlikely to survive. What actually happens is that the house is teleported to a great height above wherever Doug was standing when he started the song; the altitude is determined by a few factors (Doug's altitude at the time, air resistance, etc.) so that it will impact when the fatal lyric comes around. It totally wrecks the house, and the wreckage could be on the other side of the world from where the house was, so that even salvaging whatever's left inside is a pain. If Doug's been living in an apartment, the building will be left with a gaping hole in it.
Doug imagines that this would be spectacularly effective against witches (who are known to be vulnerable to houses dropped on them), but since the cleanup is a pain, and it's all very expensive, and no one who lives under the same roof is willing to let him experiment, it hasn't been conclusively determined.
Of course, he only found out what the song did when he tried it that one time. And he's forever banned from getting homeowner's insurance as a result.
Quote:
I'll light the fire
You put the flowers in the vase
That you bought today
Staring at the fire
For hours and hours
While I listen to you
Play your love songs
All night long for me
Only for me
Come to me now
And rest your head for just five minutes
Everything is good
Such a cosy room
The windows are illuminated
By the sunshine through them
Fiery gems for you
Only for you
Our house is a very, very fine house
With two cats in the yard
Life used to be so hard
Now everything is easy
'Cause of you
And our la,la,la, la,la, la, la, la, la, la, la.....
Our house is a very, very fine house
With two cats in the yard
Life used to be so hard
Now everything is easy
'Cause of you
And Our
I'll light the fire
And you place the flowers in the jar
That you bought today