Let's take a walk through one element at a time, shall we?
(Dear god, I must be mad!)
There's antimony (metal)
arsenic (poisonous!)
aluminum (metal)
selenium, (possible a liquid, depending on the local temperature)
And hydrogen (gas, flammable)
and oxygen (gas, flammable)
and nitrogen (gas)
and rhenium (very dense)
And nickel (thump!)
neodymium (rare earth, used in very small magnets)
neptunium (radioisotope, may go boom!)
germanium, (natural semiconductor, used in crystal radios)
And iron (thump!)
americium (used in smoke detectors! Transuranic, may go critical!)
ruthenium
uranium, (radioisotope, may go boom!)
Europium (rare earth)
zirconium (flammable! transparent to neutrons!)
lutetium (rare earth)
vanadium (thump!)
And lanthanum
and osmium (Powdered osmium is oxidized in air at room temperature to form highly toxic osmium tetroxide)
and astatine
and radium (radioactive!)
And gold, (thump!)
protactinium (highly radioactive and toxic!)
and indium (thump!)
and gallium (inhale)
And iodine (A song about Iodine)
and thorium (radioactive, but slowly)
and thulium (rare earth)
and thallium. (rare earth)
There's yttrium, (used in lasers!)
ytterbium, (rare earth)
actinium, (precursor to the heavy radioactives)
rubidium (just need some cesium and I can make intradermal translators!)
And boron, (BO-RING!)
gadolinium, (not so rare earth)
niobium, (was she just a rad driver in that third Matrix movie?)
iridium (thump!)
And strontium
and silicon (thump!)
and silver (thump!)
and samarium,
And bismuth, (isn't that the capital of North Dakota?)
bromine, (oh, THAT old bromine.)
lithium, (our friend in a pill!)
beryllium (bologni!)
and barium. (ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Barium Manilow!)
(Isn't that interesting?
I knew you would.
I hope you're all taking notes, because there's gonna be a short quiz next period.)
There's holmium (wholenium?)
and helium (it's a gas)
and hafnium (And here's Halfnium!)
and erbium (Erbie! Wasn't he a Volkswagen bug?)
And phosphorous (BURN! FOR THE ROYALTY!)
and francium (cheese-eaters!)
and fluorine (it's in our water to control our minds!)
and terbium (atomic turbium to speed!)
And manganese (thump!)
and mercury, (cutest of the Senshi... wait, wrong universe)
molybdinum, (thump!)
magnesium, (ignitable!)
Dysprosium (is it 'pro' or 'dis', make up your mind!)
and scandium (Finland!)
and cerium
and cesium (oh THERE it is.)
And lead, (thump!)
praseodymium, (say THAT five times fast)
and platinum, (thump!)
plutonium, (radioisotope, may go boom!)
Palladium, (makers of twinky games for far too long)
promethium, (he gave fire-ium to the Greeks!)
potassium, (yay!)
polonium, (a game played with ponies)
and Tantalum, (My Tante Lum told me I'd go mad one day.)
technetium, (....ow)
titanium, (thump!)
tellurium, (inhale)
And cadmium (you cad!)
and calcium (milk! it makes a body good.)
and chromium (shiiiiiiiny)
and curium. (radioactive, and named after a woman.)
There's sulfur, (stinky)
californium (dude!)
and fermium, (sweet!)
berkelium (like, wow)
And also mendelevium, (named after the first guy to make a periodic table of the elements, Dmitri Mendeleev)
einsteinium (named after Albert Einstein, who discovered that if you were smart enough no one cared about your hair)
and nobelium (named after Alfred Nobel, a prize guy)
And argon, (glowing gas)
krypton, (Superman came from here)
neon, (another glowy gas!)
radon, (it's a gas! it's radioactive! It'll kill you TWO ways!)
xenon, (more glowy gas)
zinc (this now has everything, including the kitchen zinc)
and rhodium (it carries the instruments for the rest of the elements)
And chlorine, (bleach!)
carbon, (thump!)
cobalt, (changes color when dry!)
copper, (thump!)
Tungsten, (thump!)
tin (thump!)
and sodium. (BOOM in water)
These are the only ones of which the news has come to Hahvahd,
And there may be many others but they haven't been discovahed.
I started getting a little silly there. Sorry.Brazil has decided you're cute.
(Dear god, I must be mad!)
There's antimony (metal)
arsenic (poisonous!)
aluminum (metal)
selenium, (possible a liquid, depending on the local temperature)
And hydrogen (gas, flammable)
and oxygen (gas, flammable)
and nitrogen (gas)
and rhenium (very dense)
And nickel (thump!)
neodymium (rare earth, used in very small magnets)
neptunium (radioisotope, may go boom!)
germanium, (natural semiconductor, used in crystal radios)
And iron (thump!)
americium (used in smoke detectors! Transuranic, may go critical!)
ruthenium
uranium, (radioisotope, may go boom!)
Europium (rare earth)
zirconium (flammable! transparent to neutrons!)
lutetium (rare earth)
vanadium (thump!)
And lanthanum
and osmium (Powdered osmium is oxidized in air at room temperature to form highly toxic osmium tetroxide)
and astatine
and radium (radioactive!)
And gold, (thump!)
protactinium (highly radioactive and toxic!)
and indium (thump!)
and gallium (inhale)
And iodine (A song about Iodine)
and thorium (radioactive, but slowly)
and thulium (rare earth)
and thallium. (rare earth)
There's yttrium, (used in lasers!)
ytterbium, (rare earth)
actinium, (precursor to the heavy radioactives)
rubidium (just need some cesium and I can make intradermal translators!)
And boron, (BO-RING!)
gadolinium, (not so rare earth)
niobium, (was she just a rad driver in that third Matrix movie?)
iridium (thump!)
And strontium
and silicon (thump!)
and silver (thump!)
and samarium,
And bismuth, (isn't that the capital of North Dakota?)
bromine, (oh, THAT old bromine.)
lithium, (our friend in a pill!)
beryllium (bologni!)
and barium. (ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Barium Manilow!)
(Isn't that interesting?
I knew you would.
I hope you're all taking notes, because there's gonna be a short quiz next period.)
There's holmium (wholenium?)
and helium (it's a gas)
and hafnium (And here's Halfnium!)
and erbium (Erbie! Wasn't he a Volkswagen bug?)
And phosphorous (BURN! FOR THE ROYALTY!)
and francium (cheese-eaters!)
and fluorine (it's in our water to control our minds!)
and terbium (atomic turbium to speed!)
And manganese (thump!)
and mercury, (cutest of the Senshi... wait, wrong universe)
molybdinum, (thump!)
magnesium, (ignitable!)
Dysprosium (is it 'pro' or 'dis', make up your mind!)
and scandium (Finland!)
and cerium
and cesium (oh THERE it is.)
And lead, (thump!)
praseodymium, (say THAT five times fast)
and platinum, (thump!)
plutonium, (radioisotope, may go boom!)
Palladium, (makers of twinky games for far too long)
promethium, (he gave fire-ium to the Greeks!)
potassium, (yay!)
polonium, (a game played with ponies)
and Tantalum, (My Tante Lum told me I'd go mad one day.)
technetium, (....ow)
titanium, (thump!)
tellurium, (inhale)
And cadmium (you cad!)
and calcium (milk! it makes a body good.)
and chromium (shiiiiiiiny)
and curium. (radioactive, and named after a woman.)
There's sulfur, (stinky)
californium (dude!)
and fermium, (sweet!)
berkelium (like, wow)
And also mendelevium, (named after the first guy to make a periodic table of the elements, Dmitri Mendeleev)
einsteinium (named after Albert Einstein, who discovered that if you were smart enough no one cared about your hair)
and nobelium (named after Alfred Nobel, a prize guy)
And argon, (glowing gas)
krypton, (Superman came from here)
neon, (another glowy gas!)
radon, (it's a gas! it's radioactive! It'll kill you TWO ways!)
xenon, (more glowy gas)
zinc (this now has everything, including the kitchen zinc)
and rhodium (it carries the instruments for the rest of the elements)
And chlorine, (bleach!)
carbon, (thump!)
cobalt, (changes color when dry!)
copper, (thump!)
Tungsten, (thump!)
tin (thump!)
and sodium. (BOOM in water)
These are the only ones of which the news has come to Hahvahd,
And there may be many others but they haven't been discovahed.
I started getting a little silly there. Sorry.Brazil has decided you're cute.