Songs For The Loon and the Ladies From Avalon

[Pyeknu]

In The Army Now (1981), by Rob and Ferdi Bolland, covered by Status Quo (1986 version)
Lyrics:
A vacation in a foreign land,
Uncle Sam does the best he can.
You're in the army now.
Oh!  Oh!  You're in the army . . . now.
Now you remember what the draftman said:
"Nothing to do all day but stay in bed."
You're in the army now.
Oh!  Oh!  You're in the army . . . now.
You'll be the hero of the neighbourhood.
Nobody knows that you left for good.
You're in the army now.
Oh!  Oh!  You're in the army . . . now.
Smiling faces as you wait to land,
But once you get there, no one gives a damn!
You're in the army now.
Oh!  Oh!  You're in the army . . . now.
Hand grenades flying over your head . . .!
Missiles flying over your head!
If you want to survive, get out of bed!
You're in the army now.
Oh!  Oh!  You're in the army . . . now.
Shots ring out in the dead of night!
The sergeant calls, "Stand up and fight!"
You're in the army now.
Oh!  Oh!  You're in the army . . . now.
You've got your orders:  "Better shoot on sight."
Your finger's on the trigger,
But it don't seem right!
You're in the army now.
Oh!  Oh!  You're in the army . . . now.
You're in the army now.
Oh!  Oh!  You're in the army . . . now.
Night is falling and you just can't see.
Is this illusion or reality?
You're in the army now.
Oh!  Oh!  You're in the army . . . in the army, now.
You're in the army now
Oh!  Oh!  You're in the army . . . now.
Oh!  Oh!  You're in the army . . . in the army, now . . .
Oh!  Oh . . .!
Power and effects:  Allows Doug to learn all military traditions in whatever universe he happens to be in.
Limitations:  His powers will automatically default to allow him to learn American military traditions if there is a version of his homeland in the dimension he is using this song in.