ROTFL, Part II

[ordnance11]

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Look, Kuno, it's not that I don't hate your guts or nothin', because I do," Ranma said apologetically as he backed off, slipping his hands into his pockets, "but I'm afraid this little archrivalry thing we have going here, you know, where you attack me for some reason made up on the spot and I blast you with a comical level of indifference? It's just not working out anymore."
Kuno stopped ranting, and gave Ranma a curious look as he panted, out of breath. "It's... it's not?"
"No, it's not. I mean, it was fun at first, knowing that I could whoop the biggest bully in school with both hands in my pockets, and it feels great to fight somebody because chicks like me and think you're an ass. But, well..." Ranma scratched the back of his head as he searched for the right words. "It's just, you're not really what I'm looking for in a serious archrivalry, and it's time to move on. I think we should start fighting other people," he finally blurted, shrugging apologetically.
Kuno stepped back, his mouth agape. "Is... Is there someone else?"
The pigtailed boy nodded. "Yeah, actually there is. You see, I met this guy the other day, and, well... he turns into a monster, okay? We duked it out a bit, he beat me to within an inch of my life, and I managed to eke out a victory at the last moment with a brilliant diversion tactic. I mean, he's immune to my flame powers, he plays a key role in my dark and vaguely angst-ridden past, we have perfect chemistry together! Or, you know, against each other. Whatever."
"So, that's it then?" Kuno asked angrily, hot tears beginning to fall from his eyes. "You savagely beat me a few times, and that's it? It's over? Were you just using me all this time to sate your blasted ego!"
"Hey, hey, don't be like that, man," Ranma said softly, patting the taller boy on the shoulder. "You'll find yourself a real archrival someday! I know it! You're going to make some poor loser a great enemy, mark my words! And besides, we can still loathe each other! We just won't fight anymore!"
"IT'S NOT THE SAME!" Kuno sobbed, turning dramatically and sprinting away, dropping his shattered bokken in the process as he fled to a nearby walkway bench and collapsed onto it.
Ranma sighed and turned away, knowing that there was nothing he could do that could remedy the situation. "Man... that was way harder than just socking him in the jaw. I hope love isn't this complicated."

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Hilarious and at the same time..disturbing
__________________
Into terror!,  Into valour!
Charge ahead! No! Never turn
Yes, it's into the fire we fly
And the devil will burn!
- Scarlett Pimpernell