ROTFL, Part II

[Aleh]

From Metal Gear Solid: Slytherin Eater, a HP/MGS crossover --

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"But why do I have to let him get away with that?"
"You don't have to. You just have to fight him differently. Insult him right back. Preferably with a better thought out insult. Insult smarter basically. If he gets angry enough to use violence, then you have carte blanche to respond with similar level of non-lethal force. Never throw the first punch, but make damn sure to throw the last one."
"Oh. So that works?"
"It lets you keep the moral high ground as well as being very satisfying. No lasting damage though, try not to break any bones."
"Soft tissue damage only?"
"That works yes."
Big Boss couldn't help but think he had made a mistake somewhere there. He went out to get the mail.
Wolf figured now wouldn't be the best time to mention that she had used a silenced .22 rifle she had found in the house to snipe Dudley's Nintendo and TV from the roof on the house on the other side of them.

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Or there's this --

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"My brother says there's something else girls are good for," the third remarked, "Said that the ones with big tits are the best." He leered at her. "Yeah, you're gonna be really good for that. Maybe I'll let ye be my girlfriend, show you want I'm talking about."
The three laughed and began to seemingly congratulate each other. Wolf smiled though.
Saladin had said that those kinds of comments were something she could happily respond to in kind. It took her a moment to think of the language, but she remember the kinds of insults the Iraqi soldiers she had once worked with had used on each other. She hoped the translated well, and were effective
"Like you would have any idea of what to do with a woman," she replied, "I mean you probably spend so much time sodomizing each other that you would be unable to tell one end from the other. I find your insults laughable, but you are pleasant to be around as while your personalities are bothersome, the heat generated by your flaming homosexuality makes the coping with the winter that much more pleasant." She wasn't actually sure what this meant, but it had the desired effect.

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