A few favorites of my own...
"You're going to hell, you realize that," Flash said to Usagi as they walked down the walk and out the gate.
"I'll be in good company," Usagi said, making a gesture of dismissal. "Besides, ruling the dead is a career goal anyone can aspire to."
-- from The Amazing Spiderwoman, chapter 12, by StudioPC
"Giles, mate, I," he said, pointing at himself, speaking very slowly to be sure that Giles understood what he was saying. "Am a vam-pire." He made an almost Monty-Python gesture of fangs with his fingers. "I do bad things. I knock out the kids in my care. I abandon my baby-sitting duties." With every statement, a more horrified look crossed his face. "I am evil!"
"And the fact that you were doing babysitting duties in the first place does not in any way undermine your statement that you are, in fact, a terribly evil vampire," Minerva said innocently, not looking up from the page she was marking.
Spike scowled at her. "Minnie, luv, you're ruining my reputation."
"No, Billy," she looked up and smiled sweetly at him. "You're successfully doing that all by yourself."
-- from "The Eighth Weasley", chapter 58, by Fyre
In what remained of Tokyo-Disney, a forty-meter tall statue of Mickey Mouse opened its eyes, glowing red.
Fortunately for us, the statue couldn't move, and since no one visited Tokyo-Disney anymore, no one would ever face the Thirteenth Angel.
-- Shinji and PenPen's Bogus Journey, by Innortal
"Hey Potty," Malfoy arrived to make his yearly attempt to ruin everyone's good time. "What have you done to my mother?"
"I'll tell you when you're older," Harry smiled.
-- from "Let's Do The Time Warp Again," Chapter 6
"Oh, shitburgers," the princess said primly.
-- from "On A Clear Day You Can See Forever", Chapter 18, by Mark MacKinnon
"Allow me to stand you a drink, Harry."
"Aren't I underage?"
"Not today," Dumbledore said, "none of you are. Laphroaig on me, all around! And that's including Miss Lovegood's invisible friends." Cheers rang out from a dozen metaphysical throats, and Luna was suddenly there beside them in the street, dressed like Emma Peel, if Emma Peel had a taste for plaid and carried a winged hamster on her shoulder.
-- from "Harry Potter and the Unexpected Plot Twist", by Andrew Aelfwine
Harry let the portrait close behind him, then pressed himself up against the cold stone wall to one side, head back and eyes closed. He took a deep breath, then another. He truly hoped Hermione was wrong. He just couldn't think of a time when she ever was before. And that meant he had another mortal enemy. An incompetent, cowardly, prancing nancy-boy of a mortal enemy, but still.
-- from With Malice Aforethought, Chapter 8, by S. P. Smith
The guide smirked at the sight. "Quick, mister customer! Jump into spring! Spring put out fire!" Turning to Ranma, he sighed, his smirk vanishing. "{I just hope he doesn't jump into an unbound spring.}"
Ranma raised an eyebrow while wringing out her hair. "{What happens then?}"
The guide shrugged, watching the old man leap towards a spring. "{We get dirt and fill in new spring of drowned pathetic bastardly excuse for a father.}"
-- from "Ranma: The Pacifist", chapter 1, by Brian Randall
Putting on his most charming smile, Soun turned back to Misuto. "Can you help us find the foul thing, Misuto-san?"
"Of course!" Misuto said happily. "With your woma... your lov... your acquaintance by your side, you will bravely face the ravening claws of the demonic horror, and be torn into small pieces. Your blood will mix and flow together towards the sea. Such tragedy!" She dabbed gleefully at her eyes. "Oh, I haven't seen a good doomed quest in ages!"
Soun swallowed. "Misuto-san, I am expecting to win."
"Oh, of course you are," the kami said cheerfully. "It's more tragic that way."
-- from PastPresent, Chapter 8, by Susan Doemine
"I think teachers are required to regard even one demon in the dormitory as an administrative problem," said Draco.
-- Draco Sinister, chapter 1, by Cassandra Claire
"I'm assuming you have a more detailed plan than 'be bitter as killer robots descend upon us'?" said Nadia pointedly.
"I've got two actually," said Hikaru, "and seeing as the first one involves a bathtub full of champagne, a violinist, and a bottle of sherry, we're probably going to have to go with the second one."
Nadia blinked. "Are you sure about that? Because I'm definitely intrigued."
"Yes, I know, it would have been magical, but we're going with door number two," said Hikaru.
-- "Defending", chapter 6, by David Dee
Some things were just a given. The sky is blue. Water is wet. Genma can't be trusted farther than Kasumi could throw him. You never really stop to ask why.
-- White Rose, by Andrew Lemly
-- Bob
---------
...The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...
"You're going to hell, you realize that," Flash said to Usagi as they walked down the walk and out the gate.
"I'll be in good company," Usagi said, making a gesture of dismissal. "Besides, ruling the dead is a career goal anyone can aspire to."
-- from The Amazing Spiderwoman, chapter 12, by StudioPC
"Giles, mate, I," he said, pointing at himself, speaking very slowly to be sure that Giles understood what he was saying. "Am a vam-pire." He made an almost Monty-Python gesture of fangs with his fingers. "I do bad things. I knock out the kids in my care. I abandon my baby-sitting duties." With every statement, a more horrified look crossed his face. "I am evil!"
"And the fact that you were doing babysitting duties in the first place does not in any way undermine your statement that you are, in fact, a terribly evil vampire," Minerva said innocently, not looking up from the page she was marking.
Spike scowled at her. "Minnie, luv, you're ruining my reputation."
"No, Billy," she looked up and smiled sweetly at him. "You're successfully doing that all by yourself."
-- from "The Eighth Weasley", chapter 58, by Fyre
In what remained of Tokyo-Disney, a forty-meter tall statue of Mickey Mouse opened its eyes, glowing red.
Fortunately for us, the statue couldn't move, and since no one visited Tokyo-Disney anymore, no one would ever face the Thirteenth Angel.
-- Shinji and PenPen's Bogus Journey, by Innortal
"Hey Potty," Malfoy arrived to make his yearly attempt to ruin everyone's good time. "What have you done to my mother?"
"I'll tell you when you're older," Harry smiled.
-- from "Let's Do The Time Warp Again," Chapter 6
"Oh, shitburgers," the princess said primly.
-- from "On A Clear Day You Can See Forever", Chapter 18, by Mark MacKinnon
"Allow me to stand you a drink, Harry."
"Aren't I underage?"
"Not today," Dumbledore said, "none of you are. Laphroaig on me, all around! And that's including Miss Lovegood's invisible friends." Cheers rang out from a dozen metaphysical throats, and Luna was suddenly there beside them in the street, dressed like Emma Peel, if Emma Peel had a taste for plaid and carried a winged hamster on her shoulder.
-- from "Harry Potter and the Unexpected Plot Twist", by Andrew Aelfwine
Harry let the portrait close behind him, then pressed himself up against the cold stone wall to one side, head back and eyes closed. He took a deep breath, then another. He truly hoped Hermione was wrong. He just couldn't think of a time when she ever was before. And that meant he had another mortal enemy. An incompetent, cowardly, prancing nancy-boy of a mortal enemy, but still.
-- from With Malice Aforethought, Chapter 8, by S. P. Smith
The guide smirked at the sight. "Quick, mister customer! Jump into spring! Spring put out fire!" Turning to Ranma, he sighed, his smirk vanishing. "{I just hope he doesn't jump into an unbound spring.}"
Ranma raised an eyebrow while wringing out her hair. "{What happens then?}"
The guide shrugged, watching the old man leap towards a spring. "{We get dirt and fill in new spring of drowned pathetic bastardly excuse for a father.}"
-- from "Ranma: The Pacifist", chapter 1, by Brian Randall
Putting on his most charming smile, Soun turned back to Misuto. "Can you help us find the foul thing, Misuto-san?"
"Of course!" Misuto said happily. "With your woma... your lov... your acquaintance by your side, you will bravely face the ravening claws of the demonic horror, and be torn into small pieces. Your blood will mix and flow together towards the sea. Such tragedy!" She dabbed gleefully at her eyes. "Oh, I haven't seen a good doomed quest in ages!"
Soun swallowed. "Misuto-san, I am expecting to win."
"Oh, of course you are," the kami said cheerfully. "It's more tragic that way."
-- from PastPresent, Chapter 8, by Susan Doemine
"I think teachers are required to regard even one demon in the dormitory as an administrative problem," said Draco.
-- Draco Sinister, chapter 1, by Cassandra Claire
"I'm assuming you have a more detailed plan than 'be bitter as killer robots descend upon us'?" said Nadia pointedly.
"I've got two actually," said Hikaru, "and seeing as the first one involves a bathtub full of champagne, a violinist, and a bottle of sherry, we're probably going to have to go with the second one."
Nadia blinked. "Are you sure about that? Because I'm definitely intrigued."
"Yes, I know, it would have been magical, but we're going with door number two," said Hikaru.
-- "Defending", chapter 6, by David Dee
Some things were just a given. The sky is blue. Water is wet. Genma can't be trusted farther than Kasumi could throw him. You never really stop to ask why.
-- White Rose, by Andrew Lemly
-- Bob
---------
...The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...