ROTFL: The comeback

[zojojojo]

“Okay… if I may? If I may, I would just like to point out a few things here,” Shinji says at the tactical briefing called upon the discovery of the latest Angel.

“Ahem. A list should suffice. One: we have never found an Angel before it attacked us, much less in an apparently dormant and embryonic state. Two: this Angel is in possibly the most hostile location on the planet, over a thousand feet beneath the surface of an active volcano, surrounded by molten rock where it will be a challenge to know whether the crushing pressure or the intense heat will destroy something first. Three: the Type-L equipment will not work under such conditions, because we would be going into boiling hot magma, a significant point considering that the Type-L was designed to counter the increasing power of the Angels. Four: boiling hot magma is incredibly dense and would thus impede motion massively. Five: the Evas are not physically dense enough to actually sink into boiling hot magma, so to actually get down that deep would require extra dense weights to be added, which would impair movement even more than the sort of heavy armour required to actually survive while surrounded on all sides by boiling hot magma. Six: the last report from the probe said that the Angel was sinking deeper into the boiling hot magma. Seven: boiling hot magma!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3946501/9/Thousand_Shinji
-Z, Post-reader at Medium
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If architects built buildings the way programmers write programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.