Well, as previously mentioned, my grasp of Actual Canon is not so very good. I can be wrong. I also noticed on reread that he didn't actually *say* anything about the fox *itself* to anyone but Naruto, so that bit's taken care of. He sure do skirt the edges of what he is and isn't allowed to explain, though, don't he?
I'll admit that some of these are just kibitzes. If you read something and your reaction is "yeah. So?" then you're probably right. Also, I have been enoying the story (and wow, but it's awfully long for a single chapter). I just figured I'd toss in my thoughts as they came.
I notice that he tends to use Killing Intent as a "shut people up" technique a lot - by itself or in combination with minor genjutsu. Given that Killing Intent is essentially taking a deep, inner desire to cut someone down where they stand, and projecting it outwards through your face/voice/stance/aura... well, okay, there might well be techniques for shaping and showing Killing Intent even when none actually existed, but even so....
"Sensei doesn't like it when people speak out of turn. He really, *really* doesn't like it."
My, but he's got a bit of vendetta in him, doesn't he?
Of the various things to Update For New Data, it seems a bit odd that the 4th's name didn't make the cut. I can understand why - it just seems a bit odd.
"He was my senior in the ninja business" seems a strange turn of phrase when you've said that Recca got into being a ninja in reaction to the events surrounding the death fo the 4th.
The idea of breaking someone with Barney and the Telletubbies - it's amusing, sure, but it does tend to destealth the crack a bit.
I can't help but feel a bit odd about the idea of leaving the same team (less one) on border patrol for 3 years. Don't they get rest/refit time? a bit of time for vacation?
Yorg. I would *definately* suggest that you break it up a bit.
I'll admit that some of these are just kibitzes. If you read something and your reaction is "yeah. So?" then you're probably right. Also, I have been enoying the story (and wow, but it's awfully long for a single chapter). I just figured I'd toss in my thoughts as they came.
I notice that he tends to use Killing Intent as a "shut people up" technique a lot - by itself or in combination with minor genjutsu. Given that Killing Intent is essentially taking a deep, inner desire to cut someone down where they stand, and projecting it outwards through your face/voice/stance/aura... well, okay, there might well be techniques for shaping and showing Killing Intent even when none actually existed, but even so....
"Sensei doesn't like it when people speak out of turn. He really, *really* doesn't like it."
My, but he's got a bit of vendetta in him, doesn't he?
Of the various things to Update For New Data, it seems a bit odd that the 4th's name didn't make the cut. I can understand why - it just seems a bit odd.
"He was my senior in the ninja business" seems a strange turn of phrase when you've said that Recca got into being a ninja in reaction to the events surrounding the death fo the 4th.
The idea of breaking someone with Barney and the Telletubbies - it's amusing, sure, but it does tend to destealth the crack a bit.
I can't help but feel a bit odd about the idea of leaving the same team (less one) on border patrol for 3 years. Don't they get rest/refit time? a bit of time for vacation?
Yorg. I would *definately* suggest that you break it up a bit.