The advice is definitely helping. ![[Image: smile.gif]](http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/smile.gif)
Rewriting some of the combat in a different way is keeping it fast and kinetic. Between dialogue with characters in a scene, and frequent scene changes, the reader is treated to the entire fight from several different angles, at several different times in the fight. Plus, they overlap, so something that might not make sense immediately in the fight makes more sense later when you see what was happening elsewhere.
As for Nene being frontline, she's not. However, I've always felt that Mackie was underused, and I'm addressing that. The upshot of that however is that Nene will tend to be more active when the boy she's smitten with races into the fray on his own initiative.
As for her loadout, the shoulder pods were a necessary touch. Electronics warfare or not, you don't put a girl in power armor in the field unless she can stand up to her enemies in a fight. And trusting to hacking talent (which mostly involves standing around motionless) is a bad idea. The shoulder pauldrons make sense for her because they're mostly computer-aimed and fired. She's not a combat type, and depends heavily on the computer to target for her.
---
Those who fear the darkness have never seen what the light can do.
Rewriting some of the combat in a different way is keeping it fast and kinetic. Between dialogue with characters in a scene, and frequent scene changes, the reader is treated to the entire fight from several different angles, at several different times in the fight. Plus, they overlap, so something that might not make sense immediately in the fight makes more sense later when you see what was happening elsewhere.As for Nene being frontline, she's not. However, I've always felt that Mackie was underused, and I'm addressing that. The upshot of that however is that Nene will tend to be more active when the boy she's smitten with races into the fray on his own initiative.
As for her loadout, the shoulder pods were a necessary touch. Electronics warfare or not, you don't put a girl in power armor in the field unless she can stand up to her enemies in a fight. And trusting to hacking talent (which mostly involves standing around motionless) is a bad idea. The shoulder pauldrons make sense for her because they're mostly computer-aimed and fired. She's not a combat type, and depends heavily on the computer to target for her.
---
Those who fear the darkness have never seen what the light can do.