"Hold knave! What unseemly display of foolhardyness would lead you to challenge the invincible Blue Thunder within the hallowed domains of..."
Ranma politely heard the idiot out. For fifteen minutes. At long last Kuno paused for air, and Ranma seized the opportunity to interpose a remark of his own. "Inestimatable foe, in the interests of saving time, may I assume you are now finished?"
"Very well, if you seek to hasten your inevitable defeat."
"You're sure that you're through?"
"I believe that I have made my intent clear to even an unlettered barbarian such as yourself."
"Finished?"
"Absolutely, spawn of the uncivilised west!"
"You're positive?"
"Your annihilation is at hand, foul outlander!"
"Good," Ranma nodded. "Then I'll finish this quickly - before you start talking again."
"If there is anything more revolting than a dumb pervert, it is an ugly dumb pervert." There was a pause. "So put that pipe down and get out of my way you ugly dumb pervert or I'll impale you on it like an olive."
"Oh shit, Ranma's here," Ryouga observed, nervously. All heads turned to the door. Happosai and Ranma were standing at the entrance clutching opposite ends of Happosai's pipe, held between them. Each had one hand on the pipe.
"Why are you grunting, you monkey-faced child?" Happosai inquired. "Getting tired?"
"Grunting? Who's grunting?" Ranma grunted. "That's the sound of your muscles snapping. When I get this thing away from you, would you prefer that I make you eat it? Or perhaps you would prefer to complete your resemblence to a monkey sitting on a stick?"
"When I tire of toying with you," Happosai replied, "I will stick this pipe through that hollow bone between your ugly ears and then roast you over a slow fire to extract the only worthy thing in your entire existence: whale blubber."
They both grunted, simultaneously. There was a sudden sharp crack, and they fell into each others arms and for a moment, Nabiki actually feared someone had been shot. But then the two broke from each other's embrace. Each held half of the pipe, which had shattered neatly in the middle, in their hand.
Happosai looked impressed. "That pipe's broken more stupid student's heads than I've had hot dinners," he said matter of factly. "I really wasn't sure anything could break it."
"Sh-shampoo!" Ranma managed again. "What are you doing in Japan?!"
The girl, Shampoo evidently, smiled. "Kill Ranma," she said brightly, but then her face fell. "Fortune cookie say today bad day for vengeance."
"That's too bad," Ranma muttered, somewhat insincerely.
"Tomorrow much better," Shampoo assured her. "Find you then."
"Great."
"No pout," the taller girl admonished Ranma. "Wind change, maybe make pout forever." She glanced around and seemed to see Akane, Yuka and Sayuri for the first time. "Nihao!"
Akane returned the greeting, her friends still clutching at each other in terror. "Are you a friend of Ranma's?" she asked, a little coldly.
Shampoo blinked. "No." She brandished one of the maces. "Going kill Ranma. Tomorrow."
D for Drakensis
You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
Ranma politely heard the idiot out. For fifteen minutes. At long last Kuno paused for air, and Ranma seized the opportunity to interpose a remark of his own. "Inestimatable foe, in the interests of saving time, may I assume you are now finished?"
"Very well, if you seek to hasten your inevitable defeat."
"You're sure that you're through?"
"I believe that I have made my intent clear to even an unlettered barbarian such as yourself."
"Finished?"
"Absolutely, spawn of the uncivilised west!"
"You're positive?"
"Your annihilation is at hand, foul outlander!"
"Good," Ranma nodded. "Then I'll finish this quickly - before you start talking again."
"If there is anything more revolting than a dumb pervert, it is an ugly dumb pervert." There was a pause. "So put that pipe down and get out of my way you ugly dumb pervert or I'll impale you on it like an olive."
"Oh shit, Ranma's here," Ryouga observed, nervously. All heads turned to the door. Happosai and Ranma were standing at the entrance clutching opposite ends of Happosai's pipe, held between them. Each had one hand on the pipe.
"Why are you grunting, you monkey-faced child?" Happosai inquired. "Getting tired?"
"Grunting? Who's grunting?" Ranma grunted. "That's the sound of your muscles snapping. When I get this thing away from you, would you prefer that I make you eat it? Or perhaps you would prefer to complete your resemblence to a monkey sitting on a stick?"
"When I tire of toying with you," Happosai replied, "I will stick this pipe through that hollow bone between your ugly ears and then roast you over a slow fire to extract the only worthy thing in your entire existence: whale blubber."
They both grunted, simultaneously. There was a sudden sharp crack, and they fell into each others arms and for a moment, Nabiki actually feared someone had been shot. But then the two broke from each other's embrace. Each held half of the pipe, which had shattered neatly in the middle, in their hand.
Happosai looked impressed. "That pipe's broken more stupid student's heads than I've had hot dinners," he said matter of factly. "I really wasn't sure anything could break it."
"Sh-shampoo!" Ranma managed again. "What are you doing in Japan?!"
The girl, Shampoo evidently, smiled. "Kill Ranma," she said brightly, but then her face fell. "Fortune cookie say today bad day for vengeance."
"That's too bad," Ranma muttered, somewhat insincerely.
"Tomorrow much better," Shampoo assured her. "Find you then."
"Great."
"No pout," the taller girl admonished Ranma. "Wind change, maybe make pout forever." She glanced around and seemed to see Akane, Yuka and Sayuri for the first time. "Nihao!"
Akane returned the greeting, her friends still clutching at each other in terror. "Are you a friend of Ranma's?" she asked, a little coldly.
Shampoo blinked. "No." She brandished one of the maces. "Going kill Ranma. Tomorrow."
D for Drakensis
You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.