Deja Vu, Chapter 01

[SkyeFire]

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Oh, my, oh, my, I had forgotten all about this.
I am so glad to see more!

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Awww, I bet you say that to all the author-wannabes....

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(After reading)
Nice. Very nice. I definitely want to see more -- you've taken the jokey spamfic and turned it into a hell of a story beginning.

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Now I just have to hope I can keep it up.
I hadn't intended it get quite so serious, but what was drop-dead funny to us was definitely *not* to Leon. That's probably why I switched to Daley for my viewpoint character for most of the chapter -- *he* can still see the humor in the situation.

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The only quibble I have at the moment is the line "being 'niichan's 'neesan". "'nii" means exclusively "older brother", to the best of my knowledge. You want to use "ototo", which IIRC is "little brother".

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Really? Oh, heck. I always thought that the "-chan" suffix would suffice. Darn Japanese, always killing my alliteration....