Quite interesting! I see that ANBU is up to it's usual standard of security. Unless of course the Hokage is already on to her, and is just letting her hang around until Naruto finishes counter-recruiting her, which I could totally see the wily old bastard doing.
A few typos:
and
Also, you never really describe what Yugito looks like, or even what her age is, which makes the kissing scene slightly creepy. I think the only reference to her appearance is that she has blond hair.
And finally, Yugito's target list looks kinda large for one person to do all by their lonesome, especially if she's gonna try a grab some of them unwillingly.
Oh, and I have to agree with the Kancho thing as well. It would be considered childish, but not really perverted.--
"There are crazed martial artists out there looking to improve their skills and find inner peace through exterior violence!"
--
If you become a monster to put down a monster you've still got a monster running around at the end of the day and have as such not really solved the whole monster problem at all.
A few typos:
Quote:and
I hear a cue when I hear one
Quote:I think you mean "In any event". Also, that paragraph felt a little confusing. You might want to swap it around so it mentions that she joined with a small group, then say how long it took her to get where she was going, since you mentioned it was only a two hour trip just a few lines before.
In the event it took her almost three hours
and
Quote:Forgot another "to" in there.
I had to do it O-jiji just to get him to use my photo
Also, you never really describe what Yugito looks like, or even what her age is, which makes the kissing scene slightly creepy. I think the only reference to her appearance is that she has blond hair.
And finally, Yugito's target list looks kinda large for one person to do all by their lonesome, especially if she's gonna try a grab some of them unwillingly.
Oh, and I have to agree with the Kancho thing as well. It would be considered childish, but not really perverted.--
"There are crazed martial artists out there looking to improve their skills and find inner peace through exterior violence!"
--
If you become a monster to put down a monster you've still got a monster running around at the end of the day and have as such not really solved the whole monster problem at all.