My comment was in relation to the previous section you posted, not the most recent update...which wasn't there when I started composing my reply.
Look at the timestamps, they're sufficiently close together.
I was talking about the questions you're leaving unanswered. That sorta thing is fine. In fact, it's a good thing. You don't wanna lay cards on the table too soon, after all.
Which doesn't mean the last bit was bad. Exposition-heavy, yes, but...it works. What Kestrel said. The explanations work, since they're in-relation to a long process the narrator's going through...and something he'd naturally reflect on. It's natural, so it's cool.
-- Acyl
Look at the timestamps, they're sufficiently close together.
I was talking about the questions you're leaving unanswered. That sorta thing is fine. In fact, it's a good thing. You don't wanna lay cards on the table too soon, after all.
Which doesn't mean the last bit was bad. Exposition-heavy, yes, but...it works. What Kestrel said. The explanations work, since they're in-relation to a long process the narrator's going through...and something he'd naturally reflect on. It's natural, so it's cool.
-- Acyl