ROTFL, Part II

[Sirrocco]

Ah! Wish I had the chance to read that.
The world needs more good Silent Bob crossover fanfic.

[Bob Schroeck]

Nah, that's all there is, Sirrocco. Read that and you've read it all. It was just a weird scenelet that came to Gryphon about five years ago when he put a Silent Bob figure on his mantle next an Anthy figure.
He followed it up with a NXE-influenced fragment, which I think is just as funny: Rei and Silent Jon.

---

"... so Gendou says, 'No fuckin' way!' And I'm all, 'Way, man.' And he's all, 'NO, fuckin', WAY!' And I'm all - hey, where the fuck is Shinji, anyway?"
(Jon shrugs.)
"Oh well. Whatever. So anyway, I say 'Listen, Gendou, I was fuckin' there, OK, and I saw the bitch totally shoot the dude.' But you know Gendou, he just won't believe it. What a fuckin' tool that guy is."
(Jon nods.)

---

-- Bob
---------
...The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...

[ECSNorway]

---

Daria Morgendorffer, I would be delighted to continue this conversation, or any other conversation with you, at a time and place of your choosing.
Any other conversation? Daria asked. Good. I choose the one between Stalin, Truman, and Churchill. And this time lets not concede Eastern Europe so readily.

---

--
"I give you the beautiful... the talented... the tirelessly atomic-powered...
R!
DOROTHY!
WAYNERIGHT!
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[Black Aeronaut]

*Snickers* Ahhh, Daria. How I miss seeing you attmept to have a battles of wits with unarmed opponents on MTV.

---

Black Aeronaut Technologies Group
Aerospace Solutions for the discerning spacer
"But first, let's test it on the penguin."
"Meep?" O.o

---

[Cobalt Greywalker]

Found this old saved post.
From: martinl@rice.edu (Martin Leslie Leuschen)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.gurps
Subject: Re: Questions about Mecha/Mechs
Date: 30 Aug 2001 17:40:28 GMT
Organization: Rice University, Houston TX
Mike Miller (cray74@hotmail.com) wrote:
: It could. OTOH, you might want to look up "tank panic." Big,
: unstoppable machines generate fear in any shape or size (except
: giant pink bunny tanks, which would just be weird.)
"We shot it with our guns, it kept going,
Hit it with some anti-armor rockets, it kept going,
Tankers hit it with their main gun, it kep going,
Hit it with a wire guided missile, and it kept going,
Called in an air-arty strike, it kept going,
We thought the tacnuke got it,
But when it hopped from that fused-galss crater, it was still going.
It was a damnfine thing when the batteries ran dead."
From _The Energizer Bunny goes to War_

Regards,
martinl

[robkelk]

Well, if we're going to repost old Usenet messages, there's this old gem:

---

Ideas stolen from: Monty Python's Flying Circus, Neon Genesis
Evangelion.
Spoilers: Oodles.
Stupidity: Massive.
Apologies to: Andrew Huang.
-----------------------------------------------------
NEON GENESIS PYTHONGELION
by Daniel Snyder
-----------------------------------------------------
"I wish to register a complaint! Yo, dude!"
"What do you mean, 'Yo, dude'?"
"I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to complain about this Ayanami
which I purchased not a half hour ago from this very boutique."
"Ah, the Japanese Blue. Is something wrong with her?"
"Yes. She's dead, that's what's wrong with her."
"No, she's just asleep."
"Look, Dr. Akagi. I know a dead Ayanami when I'm seeing
one..."
*flop*
"...and I'm looking at one right now."
"She's just asleep, Commander."
"All right. If she's asleep, I'll wake her up. HELLO, REI
AYANAMI! I'VE GOT A NICE CUP OF VEGETARIAN RAMEN
FOR YOU WHEN YOU WAKE UP! YUM, YUM!"
*whump*
"There! You see that! She moved!"
"That was you jostling the table!"
"Well! I never!...All right, I was."
"HELLO, REI AYANAMI!"
*whamwhamwhamwham*
"OHAYOOOOO GOZAIMASUUUUUU!"
*whamwhamwhamwham*
"Now that's what I call a dead Ayanami."
"She's stunned."
"Stunned?"
"Yeah. You stunned her just as she was waking up. Ne, what an
Ayanami, Commander? Lovely blue hair."
"Her hair doesn't enter into it, I've had about as much of this as
I care to take. That Ayanami is stone dead. And yet when I
brought her out of here not a half hour ago, you assured me that
her total lack of movement was a result of her being tired and
shagged out after hugging an Angel with three N2 mines
shoved down her Eva's gullet."
"Um...she's probably pining for the LCL tank."
"Pining for the LCL tank? What kind of nonsense is that? Look,
why was her plug suit stapled onto her?"
"Because...if it wasn't, she'd become so enthralled about fighting
that she'd tear off the suit, get out of the Eva, and go 'Yarg!'
tearing off after the Angel."
"'Yarg'?"
"'Yarg'."
"Ritsuko, this Ayanami wouldn't go 'Yarg' if you pumped her
full of amphetamines. Now I want a replacement, and I want it
now."
"No, she's just pining..."
"She is NOT pining. She's dead. She's sent out for take-out for
the last time. She's switched the flaps on her kimono. She's
shuffled off to Tokyo-2. Today was a good day to die, and she
took them up on the offer. She's beyond the help of modern
medicine, science, and even Washu. She hasn't got Akira. The
Qiometer on her reads Nought. Kore de shida no da. She has
been punished in the name of the Moon, and the Moon Scepter
has Eliminated. This is a Dead-Type Ayanami!"
"Well, I'd better replace her then."
"Damn. In this town, you've got to go 'blah blah blah' until
you're blue in the bloody face. Or hair. Well, Doctor, what
news?"
"I've had a look around back, and we're fresh out of Ayanamis."
"I see. I see. I get the picture."
"I've got a penguin."
"SQUAWK!"
"Can it pilot an Eva?"
"SQUARK! SQUAWK! WAAAK!"
"Oh, yeah."
"Right, I'll have that one, then."
-----------------------------------------------------
Copyright 1999 Daniel Snyder. Permission to duplicate in any
digital/binary/e-mail form; however, any physical printout is
strictly prohibited. Shin Seiki/Neon Genesis Evangelion by
Gainax. Monty Python's Flying Circus by Python (Monty)
Pictures Ltd. and the BBC. Any resemblance to persons living,
dead, or repeatedly brought back to life is purely coincidental.
Did I say "Apologies" to Andrew Huang? I meant to say "Lots of
Apologies" to Andrew Huang. Gomen, gomen, gomen...

---

-Rob Kelk
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[WengFook]

That usenet post with the monty python sketch... that frigging brilliant! rofl inducing, gut busting good stuff!
thanks for a nice laugh to kick off my day
_______________________________
We're definitely playing this game wrong. I thought Vampire was
supposed to be a game of personal horror, not about ninja airstrikes
at night.
- A friend after playing a session of Dark Ages Vampire.
_________________________________
Take Your Candle, Go Light Your World.

[Bob Schroeck]

From Chicks Dig Giant Robots, by Rorschach's Blot:

---

"Shinji," Misato screamed into the radio. "What did you just do?"
"Dad gives me a really cool laser rifle and you don't expect me to play with it?" Shinji asked with a smirk. "What are you nuts?"
"You vandalised the moon and destroyed several satellites," Misato screamed.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Shinji said with a hurt look on his face.
"So you expect us to believe that some other boy in a giant robot wrote on the moon with a giant laser?" Misato asked sarcastically.
"When you put it that way," Shinji said. "Yes, yes I do."

---

-- Bob
---------
...The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...

[Black Aeronaut]

---

"Ritsuko, this Ayanami wouldn't go 'Yarg' if you pumped her
full of amphetamines."

---

*Slowly recovers from shattering*
Oh God... That is hilarious. I wonder what sort of reactions I'll get at Eyrie for putting that in my sig.

---

Black Aeronaut Technologies Group
Aerospace Solutions for the discerning spacer
"But first, let's test it on the penguin."
"Meep?" O.o

---

[Aleh]

From an Anime addventure thread in which Ranma gets a seriously messed up curse (those of you familiar with KOTOR should be able to guess what his curse is):

---

Anything further that might have been said instantly died as a heavily battered panda flew over the outlying wall of the Tendo abode, and slammed into the ground. The creature shakily stood up, backing away from the wall and dropping into a defensive stance. Before any of the members of the Tendo family were able to recover enough senses to speak, a seven foot tall man made entirely out of metal jumped over the wall, creating a small crater in the ground when it landed.
In a synthesized voice that clearly held barely-restrained anger, it said: "Declaration of Intent: If you think you can decide who I am to be marrying, and expect me to just follow along with another of your insipidly moronic plans, you are clearly in need of psychological treatment, you walking mound of dessicated excrement!! Sarcastic Query: Were you inebriated beyond the ability to think rationally when you came up with this brilliant idea of yours; or had you merely suffered from one too many blows to the head!?"

---

-- This message brought to you by Ely Lilly, makers of SeraFem: Happy Pills for PMS.

[The Hunterminator]

*Spits his morning coffee all over his monitor*
Ranma as AK-47... that's brilliant! I MUST know where in the Anime Adventure it is.

[Black Aeronaut]

*Shatters!*
Oh wow. I agree with HUnterminator there. That is so brilliant that maybe even Gryphon might like it despite his distaste for Ranma. Though that does not mean that I'm gonna go and broach the subject over on Eyrie. =p

---

Black Aeronaut Technologies Group
Aerospace Solutions for the discerning spacer
"But first, let's test it on the penguin."
"Meep?" O.o

---

[Aleh]

It's from a recent thread entitled "HK Ranma"; that episode was posted not long before I posted that message, so it should probably still be in the recent episodes section.
Of course, it's only one episode so far...-- This message brought to you by Ely Lilly, makers of SeraFem: Happy Pills for PMS.

[CattyNebulart]

a link for future reference;
HK-Rnama:
addventure.bast-enterpris...82640.html
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

[Aleh]

From the latest episode of Master of Orion:

---

"I deliberately placed the charges so that the buildings would collapse into the street," Sousuke explained as dozens of bolts of light flew overhead into the obscuring cloud of bubbles, "when the youma charge our exposed position, we can bury and entangle them instead."
"Do you have any plans that don't involve annihilating this entire block?" Luna seethed. Sailor Mars would have added her own two cents, but was frowning deeply as she looked around.
"Yes, I do," Sousuke said calmly, "assuming you are specific in preserving this block rather than the destruction of any adjacent series of buildings, in which case, no, I do not."

---

-- This message brought to you by Ely Lilly, makers of SeraFem: Happy Pills for PMS.

[Epsilon]

---

Master of Orion

---

Link?
-------------------
Epsilon

[Florin]

This should be the first post in the thread. It's mostly written by Black Dragon, the guy who did Guardian and Millenium--
Comb your hair, damn anime hippies.
--
If you become a monster to put down a monster you've still got a monster running around at the end of the day and have as such not really solved the whole monster problem at all. 

[Aleh]

From a recent Addventure episode:

---

Ninja burger? Ranma echoed.
Yes, Asuka repeated her idea. Ninjaburger. A fast food delivery service with a ninja theme.
Ninja burger?
Well, you do have these ninja running around. A franchise will be the perfect cover for them to infiltrate society unnoticed.
But they are ninja, Ranma protested. They dont need a cover to sneak in! Thats what ninja means.
Yes, Asuka observed, theoretically anyway. But you have to admit that for ninja they are a rather noticeable lot.
I guess, Ranma admitted. But ninja burger?
Would youd prefer samurai pizza catgirls?
ah, no

---

-- This message brought to you by Ely Lilly, makers of SeraFem: Happy Pills for PMS.

[Aleh]

...-- This message brought to you by Ely Lilly, makers of SeraFem: Happy Pills for PMS.

[Bob Schroeck]

From White Knight, Grey Queen by Jeconais:

---

"Think of us as your own ego-busting squad," Hermione smiled.
"I didn't think I needed it," Harry pointed out.
"You don't," Pansy agreed. "But it's always good to be prepared. And to remind you that you are only human. Out there, you will always be Harry Potter, Boy Who Lived, Saviour, Hero, and Sex God. With us, you'll just be Harry, our friend and love."
"And Sex God," Daphne added with a grin.

---

-- Bob
---------
...The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...

[Aleh]

From A Matter of Force:

---

The whole band was giving him the eye and had gone silent. Anna's smile somehow got bigger. Malfoy, let me give you a little sound advice. This is a rock concert. The most awesome thing about Rock, is that evil, arrogant, selfish pricks, such as yourself, can put aside their small, deformed penises, and enjoy the dark message of the electric guitar. It doesn't really matter if anyone knows you were here, or how much you enjoyed it after. Forget that you hate everyone else in the room, sit back, and relax. We are Tenacious D, and we will rock your fucking socks off.

---

-- This message brought to you by Ely Lilly, makers of SeraFem: Happy Pills for PMS.

[Balentius]

From today's "Order of the Stick"
www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0410.html
"Nothing says 'Condolences on the loss of your uncle' like a ninja death squad in the night."

[Logan Darklighter]

From 'A Matter Of Force'

---

The Weasley twins were sitting together in the dorms. The other boys around them ignored them as they snickered together with a case of Chocolate Frogs between them. They each took one from the box and bit into it with a wide grin on their faces. Fred bit his clean in half, George mangled his quite a bit, but stopped when he realized something felt strange. They'd gotten them earlier in a package they'd assumed was from home. A small note warning them to share with each other was enclosed.
Remember the last time we ate an entire case? Fred seemed pleased with the memory.
George was unwrapping one as Fred picked one out. They held the small squirming candies and bit into their respective frog at almost the same time.
George spit the chocolate frog back out onto the cardboard case as the ten other frogs all seemed to look on at the broken and whimpering form. It looked like the confection was badly injured and struggling to crawl away.
What's wrong with me? I'm not good enough for you? You can devour my one true love in front of me, but I'm not delicious enough?! Eat me! Damn you! It was crying and beating it's one good left front flipper against the cardboard surface. The cards that came with the frogs were all rolling with laughter as the two boys looked on in horror.
Oh god! I can't watch this anymore! Sheila, I love you! Another frog jumped towards Fred's horrified mouth. The twins were close to tears they felt so bad. He couldn't close it in time and bit the frog in half as he tried to jerk his mouth shut. The legs fell back down and twitched a few times. Chocolate syrup was dripping down his chin.
Noo! Larry! George was targeted by the next of the suicidal frogs. They were crawling from the box and onto the boy's robes as they started making dives at their mouths, screaming and lamenting their fallen loved ones as they did so.

---

And...

---

The man said nothing as he seemed to think about it. A very wild theory. He didn't seem impressed.
Well, I'm not worried about finding ingredients until I get this right. I've made six batches and they're still a little off somehow. I think I was overheating the venom a little. I'll probably be at this a while, I've got a few other things I want to tweak before I settle in and make a few batches more to be sure. I'll get it done though. After all, I'm the Greatest Potions Genius in the Universe.
Snape was about to speak up, when something so odd happened that he found himself unable to speak.
Two small puppets appeared on her shoulders, both looking like tiny crude versions of her, each in a miniature Hogwarts uniform.
Anna, you're the greatest! chimed one of them in a high pitched voice.
Anna, you're the best! agreed the other.
Anna! Anna! Anna! they both cheered together. Yeah!
Snape looked down at her in what appeared like disgust before walking away without another word.

---

--
SHUT UP AND TOUCH THE MONKEY!!

[CattyNebulart]

Second Law of Ranmadynamics....
www.fanfiction.net/s/3204655/1/
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

[Bob Schroeck]

Hey, Gundam Shinobi -- welcome to the forums!
Yeah, lots of funny stuff in the latest "Matter of Force", but I think Carrot's starting to throw too much into it, and the whole thing is threatening to come apart at the seams.
-- Bob
---------
...The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...