I bought a little bunny/The Seven Substitute Shinobi

[drakensis]

(nods) So ka, so ka. Communication is very important for teamwork, you should let your sensei know about these sorts of plans so he doesn't waste valuable time on redundant effort.

Or don't let him know - to make sure that he does waste effort on redundant effort while you are otherwise engaged.
What do you suppose the three of them might have been doing while Kakashi was engaged in calculating the bill?
And what might have happened to Zabuza (and arguably Haku) since circumstances differed so dramatically?
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

[drakensis]

"Hey guys, good morning!" called Kakashi as he arrived at the training ground.
The three genin didn't bother to rise from where they were sat in the clear zone at the edge of the heavily wooded training area. They were back to back, each with their legs stretched out in different directions. Shikanenai's reaction to Kakashi's arrival was the most expressive - he checked his watch and said: "Ten past ten," before pulling a couple of coins out of his pocket and passing them to Neshan. Katsu followed suit.
Kakashi raised his eyebrow. "I'm so glad that you're all here on time and ready to go," he said cheerfully. Then he giggled. All three genin stared at him, Shikanenai and Katsu turning their heads to do so over Neshan's shoulders. "When I tell you what this training's about you're all gonna flip," he predicted confidently.
"Final exam," Shikanenai said drily and turned back to examining his arc of the forest.
"Failure rate above sixty-six percent," Katsu added in an identical tone and followed suit.
Kakashi blinked at their matter-of-fact responses. "Apparently not," he conceded. "Okay, should I tell you what the exam is, or do you know what it is already?"
"Might as well make it official," 'Nenai suggested dismissively.
Kakashi whipped a clock out of his backpack and set it on a tree stump. "Okay, this is set for noon," he said, setting the alarm as he spoke. "Here are two bells." He held out a pair of bells to demonstrate. "Your task is to take these from me before noon. Those who cannot get a bell by noon, get no lunch. I'll not only tie you to one of those stumps but I'll eat right in front of you." To his disappointment, none of the boys looked terribly hungry. The smug little gits had evidently ignored his advice. Oh well. "You only need to get one bell. There are only two, so one of you will definitely be tied to a stump. And the person who doesn't take a bell fails. So at least one of you will be sent back to the Academy."
"You can even use your shuriken," he added. "You won't succeed unless you come at me intending to kill."
"When do we start?" Katsu asked bluntly.
Kakashi shrugged. "Now?" he offered.
Neshan and Shikanenai were on their feet in an instant, neshan entering the forest only a few seconds behind Shikanenai and obviously on the same route. Kakashi turned his eye on Katsu, who had leapt for the water instead. Splitting up already, not a good sign, the jounin mused. Then he saw the complex series of seals that Katsu had almost completed while he mused and his eye widened. "Crap."
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

[Rieverre]

Kakashi blurred, even as the Suiryudan no Jutsu-animated mass of water crashed into where he'd been standing.
Kirigishi was supposed to be good with ninjutsu, but nowhere had it been mentioned that he knew this level of Suiton. Besides which, he was standing on the water and not causing as much as a ripple in the process.
Surprise me once, shame on you. Surprise me twice ... Kakashi thought. He'd been expecting ... well, the Academy students usually had some problem with working up a proper killing intent. Apparently, this kid didn't. And that hadn't been a stock Suiryudan either. The dragon form hadn't been perfect, but it _had_ been noticably faster than the norm, actually forcing the Jounin to pour on the speed in order to evade.
The splashdown had thrown up a wave of water droplets into the air, but they didn't have time to be drawn back by gravity before the masked Leaf-nin shot through them. The next series of handseals the kid had gone into was familiar even without the use of Sharingan.
A good offense was often the best defense, especially while the enemy was busy with a longer technique.
And with Kakashi's speed, 'longer' was an arbitrary value at best. The circular water barrier rose upwards too late to hinder the Jounin from closing in, his speed making him seemingly appear behind Katsu out of thin air, save for the small splashes in places he'd stepped on the surface of the river.
That the genin hadn't reacted to the kunai against his neck clued him in that something was wrong, as did the fact that the water wall was still rising ...
... when he felt the concentration of chakra underneath his feet, he only had time for a brief ...
"Damnit."
The surface of the river exploded upwards while the water clone of Kirigishi exploded outwards, in a quick and dirty rendition of a Daibakufu no Jutsu that the Suijinheki barrier contained and directed, the water picking Kakashi up and hurling him into the air, while at the same time making him feel as if he'd suffered from the most painful bellyflop in history.
The Jounin's hands moved on instinct, kunai deflecting the barrage of same that had followed him up from underneath the water's surface, even as he directed his fall towards open ground.
When three Bakusta Neshans rushed from the treeline, naginatas sweeping in, he was forced to admit that he could have picked a better landing spot ...
All three blades buried themselves in three seperate logs. Or rather, sheered through them, and the smoke they'd replaced Kakashi's body in.
"Alright ... I may have given you too little credit," Kakashi said, raising his hand to uncover his left eye.
Only to find the hand refused to move. As did the rest of his body.
He looked down.
Right. Nara. Shadows.
Wonderful.

---

Hmm. So. Do they tie Kakashi to the stump?
-Griever
When tact is required, use brute force. When force is required, use greater force.
When the greatest force is required, use your head. Surprise is everything. - The Book of Cataclysm

[classicdrogn]

Just kibbutzing, but - I expect that while they have the skill to pull this off and get the bells, none of them in their genin bodies have the stamina to really restrain him long enough for that. On the other hand, it WOULD be funny... espescially if he headed out to visit the monument before getting breakfast himself and then came straight to the training area...
- CDSERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
Dr. Akagi will recover. Observe, Rei smiled. Shinji-kun, are these your clothes?
Ritsuko shot up like a spring loaded meerkat. What? Shinji-kun is naked?
See, Anata? Dr. Hentai is alive and well. - Innortal's _I Do_
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

[drakensis]

Giving credit where credit is due, Kakashi probably has some means of countering the Shadow Binding. There is a reason that he has that fearsome reputation, after all. If he didn't, well Shikamaru demonstrated he could secure a dozen people for at least a minute, during the Sand-Sound invasion and Shikanenai is around the same level with that technique. If Kakashi couldn't break it then the fight would be over, which would make Team Seven way too overpowered.
Incidentally, the reason that I didn't put anything much about Neshan is that I figured that the Neshan waiting outside the area might be a bunshin. They've had four hours to prepare after all, so they might have been taking it in turns to go into the forest and lay a ridiculous amount of traps, Neshan being busy with that when Kakashi actually arrives. If they lure Kakashi into the trees then he should regret it.
I like the idea of Kakashi winding up tied up and gagged, so he can't tell them that they've passed while they eat up and debate ideas over what to do to him:
"We could take pictures of him without his mask and post them all over town."
"Keep him tied up and throw him into Anko's bedroom covered in dango."
"Send him back to the Academy for retraining? We did beat him pretty easily and I'm sure Iruka would go along with it."
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

[Rieverre]

---

Giving credit where credit is due, Kakashi probably has some means of countering the Shadow Binding. There is a reason that he has that fearsome reputation, after all.

---

Yeah, that's what I figured as well. I just thought that'd be a good break point before the guy takes things more seriously.
And I agree with the trap idea. That would be neat. Katsu being an opportunistic bugger and hitting the area with a Kirigakure just before the first trap goes off would be perfectly in character too.
-Griever
When tact is required, use brute force. When force is required, use greater force.
When the greatest force is required, use your head. Surprise is everything. - The Book of Cataclysm

[drakensis]

Shadow Binding was a powerful jutsu and the Nara clan's bloodline affinity for it made them one of the more respected clans of Konohagakure, limited largely by their scanty numbers. However, the jutsu did have the occasional weakness and during his stint in ANBU, Hatake Kakashi had made a point of being able to counter the most common jutsu of the major clans.
Weakness number one was that Shadow Binding only restricted physical movement - and while chakra was usualkly channelled through seals, doing so without movement was not impossible, merely very very difficult. Kakashi could only reproduce a very few jutsu without resorting to seals, but one of them would be ideal for utilising the other weakness of Shadow Binding - the requirement for the user's shadow to touch the target.
Channelling a pulse of chakra from his feet, Kakashi literally blasted up a few inches from the ground and bounded away from the grasping shadows as a fuuma shuriken whirled through the space he'd been occupying.
Obviously either Kirigishi or Bakusuta had taken his warning too heart and was trying to take the bells from his cold dead body. Equally obviously, Nara was helping them. Teamwork, in other words. It was tempting to simply declare the test was over, since the three of them had all demonstrated the traits that Kakashi was looking for. What was even more tempting, however, was to let the game play out. To see exactly what else they could pull on him.

Kakashi looked around and both eyes widened appreciatively as the Sharingan revealed parts of the intricate web of traps around him. And that was only those that had been concealed solely with genjutsu. There were three obvious routes, but they were far too obvious for Kakashi to risk - given the skill used to lay out these traps, the routes had to be even more cunningly trapped. Anyone who broke the genjutsu and bolted impulsively for supposed safety would regret it only briefly, Kakashi suspected - he could see slight signs of other, very well concealed traps that would close the routes and turn them into literal deathtraps.
With a shrug of his shoulders, Kakashi knelt and scooped up the small scroll that rested invitingly on the floor of the forest. The three genin wouldn't have gone to such lengths to trap him if they planned to use such an obvious trigger.
The message was short.
'Bells, balls, what's the difference?'
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

[classicdrogn]

So where did the original Team 7 end up, anyway?
Sasuke landed in a version of modern day Japan, and was hired by the son of a high school headmaster who beleived himself to be a noble samurai...
Sakura ended up in a different part of the same world a decade or so earlier, and later became a nurse at a very strange high school the next district over...
Naruto landed even further back, being taken in by a couple from the secretive magic user community, eventually becoming one himself and gaining the title of the Thousand Master, surpassing all previous magi...
... so really, it's not like they missed out on having an exciting life, just because they got displaced from their original world. Even if Sasuke did have to fetch and carry for the idiot or his psycho sister now and then, he picked up valuable skills with toxins and antidotes and had lots of free time to train for the day he'd eventually return, and there was certainly a sufficient supply people around hwo had unique and effective taijutsu styles, and the occasional oddball yet powerful ninjutsu as well, even if they weren't really ninja as such. Just the thoguht of the look that would be on Itachi's face, being defeated in sugh a way, was enough to ... well, not bring a smile to his face, but perhaps a slight softening of his scowl, or the occasional twitch upward of one corner of his mouth.
- CDSERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
Dr. Akagi will recover. Observe, Rei smiled. Shinji-kun, are these your clothes?
Ritsuko shot up like a spring loaded meerkat. What? Shinji-kun is naked?
See, Anata? Dr. Hentai is alive and well. - Innortal's _I Do_
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

[drakensis]

Obviously either Kirigishi or Bakusuta had taken his warning to heart and was trying to take the bells from his cold dead body. Equally obviously, Nara was helping them. Teamwork, in other words. It was tempting to simply declare the test was over, since the three of them had all demonstrated the traits that Kakashi was looking for. What was even more tempting, however, was to let the game play out. To see exactly what else they could pull on him.
First things first, he thought, uncovering his left eye.
It was fortunate that he had managed that, he concluded, dashing for cover inside the woods. The swarm of shuriken that had descended upon him were not a problem - he was able to pick out which were real and which were bushin with relative ease, but that had only been a diversion from the real attack and not much short of Sharingan would have detected the lethal ripples in the air behind the shuriken - someone had been studying into kamaitachi jutsus, he noted, and wondered which of the three had ties to Sunagakure.
He flipped a few senbon in the most likely direction for whoever was using the Sand's jutsu to be evading and was rewarded by a shout of: "Gami no Yoroi jutsu," from 'Nenai, wrapping himself in a layer of paper that shed the needles with relative ease.
What the hell? Who used paper like that?
Kakashi had no time to ponder the event, or his failure to get a look at the jutsu for his Sharingan to record as he once again had to Kawarimi away from Neshan's naginata and found himself directly in the path of Katsu. Blocking the combination of strikes - most of which would have been crippling or even mortally wounding had the landed, held him in place long enough for Shikanenai. still wearing his paper covering, to grapple him. Countering that - the kid's taijutsu was definitely up to the level of the others, let Katsu land a kick that would have cracked a knee cap if he hadn't turned his leg _just_ right. And then One of them tried to snag him with a genjutsu, which he broke just in time to get distracted by a pair of Bushin that looked _exactly_ like Mitarashi and that punk sensei of the kids' (what was his name, Irupa?) getting it on behind a bush.
The jounin blinked, fended off a pair of snatches at the bells and regretfully chucked a couple of shuriken through the bushin - any entertainment now would be more than counterbalanced by the later pain should Anko find out about it.
Then silence.
He was all alone in a forest glade, quite deep into the training ground, with no sign of his prospective students.
Kakashi looked around and both eyes widened appreciatively as the Sharingan revealed parts of the intricate web of traps around him. And that was only those that had been concealed solely with genjutsu. There were three obvious routes, but they were far too obvious for Kakashi to risk - given the skill used to lay out these traps, the routes had to be even more cunningly trapped. Anyone who broke the genjutsu and bolted impulsively for supposed safety would regret it only briefly, Kakashi suspected - he could see slight signs of other, very well concealed traps that would close the routes and turn them into literal deathtraps.
With a shrug of his shoulders, Kakashi knelt and scooped up the small scroll that rested invitingly on the floor of the forest. The three genin wouldn't have gone to such lengths to trap him if they planned to use such an obvious trigger.
The message was short.
'Bells, balls, what's the difference?'
Kakashi paled behind his mask. They were kidding - right?
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

[drakensis]

"Please," Kakashi begged. "If you have any mercy in your heart, Hokage, give me a mission where I can kill them and hide the bodies."
"Kakashi," the Hokage sighed. "If I give you that sort of mission they'll kill _you_ and hide the body. I don't have so many jounin that I can spare you." He rested his chin on his hands. "Still, it is a shame to keep you all cooped up in the village. I'll give you a C-rank mission. It's a bodyguard assignment, protecting a certain individual."
The three junior members of Team Seven looked at each other. "It's got to be better than chasing that damn cat," Katsu snorted. "I swear the damn thing can kawarimi."
Shikanenai looked suddenly intrigued. "Interesting idea," he mused. "I'm pretty sure that I could make that work..."
The Hokage coughed. "Well since you're so enthusiastic, why don't I introduce you to your charge," he offered when he was sure that he had Shikanenai's attention. *Important to send our best team to the Wave, since they'll be out on their own. Have to rely on themselves and their sensei's skills. Can't think of a better team than this deal with anything that might come up in Wave Country. _Vital_ to get them out of Konoha before they get up to any more mischief.* "Hey, will you come in here."
The door slid open to reveal a disreputable old man clearly well into the bottle of booze that dangled from one of his hands. "What's this?" he asked. "They're all a bunch of super-brats. Especially... the four-eyes with the stupid hair."
Kakashi covered his visible eye with one gloved hand. "We're supposed to protect him, Neshan... don't kill him."
Neshan looked innocent, focused more on counting the explosive tags he was carrying. *Two hundred seventy-one, two hundred seventy-two...* "I thought he was talking about himself," he said out loud, indicating the old man's glasses and the tufts of hair visible around the bald crown of his head.
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

[Rieverre]

Finally got to doing this. Heh. Better late than never, I guess.
Why now? Umm ... well, remember that 'if I have anymore caffeine I'll either puke or write a new web browser' bit?
Something like that. Just replace 'web browser' with 'fanfic segment'.

---

The crack of dawn illuminated an odd sight. At least when one considered the shinobi involved.
Leaves rustled in the wind.
Bakusuta Neshan, Special Jounin of the Hidden Leaf, and head of their Archives.
Nara Shikanenai, Chunin of the same, intrepid traveller, explorer, and someone who'd come by the nickname of 'Eternal Tourist' honestly and legitimately.
Kirigishi Katsu, Jounin of the Hidden Mist, currently residing in the Leaf along with his Genin team as a gesture of good will ... that, at least, was the official reason.
"So ... wolf still at the door?" Neshan broke the silence, shooting the Mist-nin a look.
"Mhm ... yup." the Mist-nin said. In between munching on a skewer's worth of dango. Something, it should be noted, that he'd never really bothered with even as recently as a day ago.
If asked, he'd claim he'd picked up the habit from when he'd been involved in planning sessions with a person who was obsessed enough with the stuff to always bring some along.
Katsu raised an eyebrow at 'Nenai. "Bells, balls ..."
"... what's the difference?" the Nara smirked. Looked to Neshan. "Team Seven ..."
"... sanjo!" Neshan finished.
The trio blinked at one-another.
Each had a hand outstretched, holding a roll of white toilet paper.
They grinned.
A ways off, and behind a few walls, Hyuuga Hiashi shivered in his sleep.
***

Three haggard looking nins stumbled into the Training Area.
A blond boy wearing a pair of baggy orange pants, sandals, and an equally orange jacket over a net shirt.
A pink haired girl in fatigues, one of those odd foreign dress shirts and an overcoat.
A black haired boy, in black fatigue pants, a shinobi vest over a ragged-sleeved t-shirt, and a pair of reinforced gauntlets.
"Sakura-chan, I was so worried!" Uzumaki Naruto exclaimed. "Everybody's gone crazy or ..."
The pink haired girl, oddly enough, seemed to actually minutely relax at the exuberant exclamation.
"You ... the situation ..." Uchiha Sasuke attempted to put his thoughts into words. And failed miserably. "Do any of you have any idea?"
Sakura twitched. Rapidly shook her head. "Nope. No. No. No ideas here. Absolutely no ideas here, Sasuke-kun."
It was a bit before they'd gathered their thoughts enough to voice them in a somewhat coherent manner.
"I was ... I mean. I woke up," Naruto scratched his head in embarassment. "Ya know I live alone, right?"
The other two nodded.
"Well, I woke up at Shikamaru's place. And there was stuff there that coulda've been mine ... and pictures. Like they adopted me or something," the blond's mind was still reeling at the idea, the possiblity, of having an actual family. Also, he thought he shouldn't mention the fact that that nutsoid Sand-chick was hanging off him in some of the pictures (and trying to kill him in others).
"I ... used to live in an apartment. Still do. I woke up today because I was ... disturbed by something. Apparently, I've acquired a roommate," the whip and chain-weapon collection something in his memories told him belonged to Yamanaka and which occupied the biggest wall of the common room of the two bedroom apartment was disturbing ... but he'd also had to stop himself from grabbing a kusari-gama upon leaving for some reason. Most odd. No odder than the fact that the living arrangements seemed ... oddly comfortable for some reason. Though he'd also noticed that his room had several locks on the door ...
Both boys looked to Sakura.
Sakura blinked. And seemed to want to disappear inside the voluminous coat, judging by the fidgeting.
"Somehow, I've got an apartment ... and, err, I ... umm ... sortofwokeupinbedwithHyuugaHinata," she mumbled, beet red.
The birds chirped as the silence stretched on.
Oh, yes. This was going to be a looooooong day.

---

I'd blame the caffeine, if it weren't for the fact that the ideas for this came about a while back already and 'only' needed to be written down.
-Griever
When tact is required, use brute force. When force is required, use greater force.
When the greatest force is required, use your head. Surprise is everything. - The Book of Cataclysm

[katreus]

---

"Somehow, I've got an apartment ... and, err, I ... umm ... sortofwokeupinbedwithHyuugaHinata," she mumbled, beet red.

---

Ahahaahahahahaha.
To be a fly on that wall...

[classicdrogn]

---

Somehow, I've got an apartment ... and, err, I ... umm ... sortofwokeupinbedwithHyuugaHinata," she mumbled, beet red.

---

(cackles madly) Well now, THAT'S a pair-up you don't see every day, at least not without being part of a threesome/harem. It is to wonder if Hina-chan wasn't being a bit daring with the wake-up call that morning, as well - somehow, Sakura never struck me as the morning-person type, espescially if there's warm snugglies involved.
- CDSERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
A kung-fu nun in a leather thong was no less extreme than anything else he had seen that day. - Rev. Dark's IST: Holy Sea World
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

[drakensis]

Kakashi tried very hard not to groan as he woke. It was quite hard, he'd evidently taken a serious knock to the head and the sunlight filtering through the trees was quite painful. He tried to move and discovered to his consernation that he was tied to something and his thumbs had been quite securely laced away from the rest of his fingers - he would be hard-pressed to escape if he couldn't make any seals.
What the hell had happened? he wondered. And whose hands had he fallen into? He must have been on a mission... he could remember crouching by the Memorial Stone remembering his own team before he went to collect his... his... new... genin.... students. Oh _fuck_.
With his senses clearing, he could hear three voices faintly, obviously speaking from well outside the range of the handful of techniques available to him in such a position.
"We could take pictures of him without his mask and post them all over town."
"Keep him tied up and throw him into Anko's bedroom covered in dango!"
"Send him back to the Academy for retraining? We did beat him pretty easily and I'm sure Iruka would go along with it."
"Nah, what use is a Jounin who can't beat off three green-as-grass genin?"
"You're right - let's sell him to Hidden Cloud for the bounty."
"I hear that the summoning ritual for Manda involves human sacrifice - anyone want to be a Snake Summoner?"
There was a long silence and Kakashi tried very, very hard to hide any visible signs of fear at what these buddinng psychopaths might chose to do. On the plus side, it looked like they weren't leaning towards the Anko/dango option. On the down side, he was sure that Hidden Cloud would be only too glad to get hold of him even without the side-benefit of obtaining a Sharingan.
He heard a rustling and saw 'Nenai observing him thoughtfully.
"Ha!" the young Nara said smugly. "Called it. Not even sweating!"
Two small coins came flying towards him on parabolic arcs and the boy easily snatched them out of the air. The next moment a kunai hit the post and Kakashi felt his bonds loosen enough for him to make a start on escaping them.
He paused as a sharp edge pressed gently against his jugular vein.
"The Academy doesn't actually give classes in negotiating from a position of strength," Shikanenai said from the other end of a sword that would give new definition to the concept of death by paper-cut. His voice was calm and conversational. "How are we doing?"
Kakashi smirked behind his mask. "Not bad... for beginners," he said. Then his smirk faded as he felt the Shadow Binding settle on him again and the bonds tighten up.
"So, about this test thing... how are we doing?"
Kakashi could tell that the vein on the side of his head was throbing. It was a good thing his hitae-i disguised the reaction. "I suppose we can call this a pass," he said. "You _do_ have the bells, don't you?"
The Shadow Binding faded away and 'Nenai stepped back. "Take my word for it?"
"Sure, we're both Leaf-nin, aren't we?"
"Great," said Neshan, stepping out from behind Kakashi's field of view. "So, lunch?"
"Er... could you let me loose?" Kakashi requested as the boys turned their backs and began to walk away.
The tip of a kunai traced a line down the side of his mask, barely dimpling the skin underneath.
"After we've eaten," whispered Kirigishi Katsu and then walked after his teammates, whistling merrily and spinning the kunai in his hand.
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

[classicdrogn]

I'm sticking this here due to the tangential connection to Kirigakure, since this is where we've seen the most of Katsu, but I was originally musing about Konoha, how big it is, and how many non-mission ninja it needs seem to run all the city offices. This led its way by twists and turns to a connection to "the noble family of Konoha" and the thoguht that it might be BECAUSE of the Hyuuga that Konoha is so large, and has so many at-least-average nin to administrate, and furether has a population that produces enough exceptional nin to turn out an entire graduating academy class's quota of mission team genin who can take on the Sound Five (who whooped up on chuunin) less than a year later. Namely, Hyuuga can see the inner coils system of anyone they care to cast an eye over, and despite Rock Lee's counter-example it's the people with the best inner coils systems who are most suited to being ninja. So? So any Hyuuga who happens to be passing through a normal town or trade caravan or whatever, can do a quick check and see if there's anyone worthy recruiting, either as kids young enoguh to go directly to the academy or as adults worth encouraging to move to Konoha to be part of the gene pool. I'd imagine that being a ninja, even an admin-nin liike most non-clan-affiliated academy kids become, pays better than most other careers at that tech level, and as a bonus they can read, write, do arithmetic, and handle minor rowdiness even after getting to their thirties or fourties and retiriring as ninja. Of course, only a total idiot would press-gang anyone into it, but in the manpower crunch after Zabusa'a killing spree Mist might have tried it (which could explain how many Mist nukenin we've seen relative to other villiages, actually) and after the Sand/Sound war the Leaf could well have offered financial incentives to people willing to come to Konoha and put a child into the Academy - or even just send the kid.
- CDSERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
A kung-fu nun in a leather thong was no less extreme than anything else he had seen that day. - Rev. Dark's IST: Holy Sea World
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

[Valles]

---

When the fuzz cleared from Ino's mind she immediately glanced around, trying to figure out what her opponent had done, since why was obvious, in retrospect - he'd prepared for her, and likely all of his potential foes, the same way he'd done for Neji.
"It's called the Threshold of the Mind's Eye," said a voice she didn't recognize, and when she turned to face it it took her a moment to place why the speaker looked familiar. Neshan wasn't the tallest of her old Academy classmates, nor the sturdiest, but he came close in both categories and the older boy - young adult, really - looking her calmly in the eye was pretty obviously supposed to be a somewhat older version of her opponent. "A semi-permanent external seal jutsu, originally intended for use against various sorts of mind-reading genjutsu. It fell out of use when they did, and your family simply isn't numerous of influential enough to keep people familiar with it."
Belatedly, she realized that the flaring coat he was wearing was in the pattern assigned as part of a department head's uniform. "That's why you let me use the Shintenshin... I suppose it also blocks me from disengaging?"
He shook his head. "Nope. But, unless you hid only some of your study notes - which I'd be shocked at, since you'd have no reason to expect anyone to even look for them - none of the new jutsu you've learned are good enough to keep me from hammering you to a pulp once you break the link. Since the Threshold's effectiveness is, in large part, based on turning the matter into a battle of wills rather than chakra, sticking around is probably your best bet."
He was telling her that?! "You're that confident?" she asked.
He pushed his glasses up slightly. "Yes. The ninjutsu and genjutsu practicals always brought my academy grades down, you know that, but out here in the real world I can compensate more effectively, and given how good I am at expanding my own advantages and that Asuma-sensei's a pretty lousy teacher... Yes. I am that confident."
"Asuma-sensei is not incompetent!" she snapped, and tried to figure out just what the heck a 'battle of wills' was supposed to mean in this context.
"No, he's not," Neshan agreed. "But teaching isn't something he's really trained for - try comparing how much you learned when Iruka-sensei went around and did individual sessions with each student with how much you pick up from him in the same amount of time. The fact that he's got no real clue how to pass on what he knows doesn't mean he doesn't know it.
"Kakashi's even worse, actually, but I've always had to teach myself a lot of things anyway to stay even, so that hasn't slowed me down any."

---

===============================================
"Puripuri puripuri... Bang!"

[Rieverre]

Been a while since I was here. Hmm ... let's see, how was it supposed to go again ...?

---

"Wow ..." Shikanenai recoiled in a gesture of badly acted out shock. "Let me just fix this image in my mind as proof that the world is ending."
"Don't make me carve out your spleen," Katsu retorted, though the threat lacked any actual intent or substance. In fact ...
"Come on, you're downright bright-eyed and bushy tailed today," the Nara said as Kirigishi vaulted up and onto a treebranch that had become one of his semi-regular perches when just practicing his patience at Team Seven's chosen training ground. "Even you've got to admit that's not something that happens very often. Not unless you've poured ridiculous amounts of coffee into yourself again."
Katsu paused, faux-considered, then shrugged out a: "No."
The last time the Nara had seen him in that sort of light hearted mood had been a week and a half ago, back during the aftermath of their little raid on the Hyuuga compound. Closest the once and future Jounin had come to it on other occasions was a sardonic sort of satisfaction in the wake of a successful mission.
"Kirigishi ..." Shikanenai drawled out, "I know where you live. I know where you sleep. I know what you like to have for breakfast."
Well, no, he didn't. But it wouldn't be difficult to find out.
Katsu actually chuckled. And not darkly, either.
"Sorry, it's just that ... I've missed this," he gave a shrug.
"What, being a genin?" 'Nenai gave him a skeptical look.
"We're outnumbered, in territory that will shortly turn very hositile if things go as predicted, likely on the hit list of the renegade Sannin of Konohagakure," Katsu's grin widened. "What's not to like?"
"If I didn't know how much of that insane bloodlust you're giving out is an act, I'd likely be freaked out beyond the capacity for rational thought," the other genin replied, deadpan.
"Maa ..." Kirigishi threw up his hands in a gesture of frustration.
"Right, now that that's done and over with, give."
"I'm just getting a refresher course on how enjoyable it is to teach a willing and apt student," Katsu shrugged.
"Wait, what ... Yamanaka? You actually went through with that?"
"I got bored, and I did sort of promise. I try to keep my word when I can. The girl has a surprising amount of potential."
"Other than her family jutsus, the Academy files don't really have her down as anything noteworthy," 'Nenai left that hanging in a half-inquiry of sorts.
Katsu snapped his fingers. "Ah. Yeah, you and 'Maru were helping Hatake and Neshan deal with Hinata's little problem when she fought Kiba."
"Wait, wasn't that a draw?"
"Considering that most of the Jounin present were betting on Kiba, I'm impressed. Though more by the way she did it. They bloodied one-another for over fifteen minutes."
"Didn't think she had that much endurance," 'Nenai mused. "How was it a draw, anyway? Kiba was too fast of the Shitenshin and his taijutsu and ninjutsu were just plain better."
"She took a hostage and threatened to cut their head off. Stone cold. The kunai didn't as much as shake in her hand," Katsu's tone carried more than a little appreciation.
"The mutt," 'Nenai grinned. He could appreciate that sort of basic nastiness leading up to an easier than usual win. That Yamanaka had manage to force a draw was impressive in and of itself.
"Give that girl some motivation and she's as cold as any of us on a good day," Katsu replied. Then sobered. "Though I think I'll have to talk to Neshan about giving her some pointers about her mind jutsus."
Shikanenai nodded. The bespectacled genin's sheer breadth of knowledge was impressive on its own, but coupled with the fact that it was matched by the depth regarding most of the topics it was a sure bet that he could help with the matter.

---

Ino has always struck me as someone who didn't do the angst thing. Not really. Hence, the above.
-Griever
When tact is required, use brute force. When force is required, use greater force.
When the greatest force is required, use your head. Surprise is everything. - The Book of Cataclysm

[Valles]

*raises hand* Wait - did or did not Ino make it to the actual third test? 'Cause I had written that last assuming that she had...
*goes back and checks* Oh, damn. My bad.
Hm. I have this sudden image of how the rest of the tournament goes: Neshan beats Neji, Tenten lucks past Shino, and Kankuro and Katsu both forfeit. Second round, Neshan knocks Tenten over with a feather (Shino's bugs ate real well, see), then Shikanenai forfeits to Gaara. Possibly with some wisecrack about the places he doesn't want to get sand.
Then, for the third round, Neshan forfeits, making some remark to the effect that he's not getting paid enough to tangle with a Jinchuuriki, anyway.
*smiles beatifically* It all that doesn't get his 'coonness hopping mad, nothing will.
Note: the following is from the Devil Cat arc.

---

When the four shinobi met at the agreed-on place, a ragged, craggy pillar of granite that heaved itself up above the forest canopy right outside the cleared zone surrounding the village, they had barely had time to exchange greetings when a razor-edged chill danced its way across their spines. "Is that..." Shikanenai asked, and all three of the others nodded in unison.
"Without a doubt," Neshan said, and bit at his thumb before crouching to scrawl a quick, sloppy glyph across the bare stone. When he looked up, a slight film of chakra could be seen dancing across his glasses. "That way," he said, pointing, then took off at a fast cruise that any competent ninja could maintain for hours on end.
Katsu poured on a short burst of speed and fell in beside him, frowning. "The flash came from that direction," he said with a slight nod towards the facing he meant.
"Yes. But cats kill their prey quick, once they decide to. It's already too late to stop it from making the kill, and its den... is right here," Neshan finished as he snapped to a halt perched in the crux of a branch.
"Below us?" Kakashi asked, since the streambank below them didn't seem to have any kind of cave that would be suitable for a creature that size.
Katsu's nostrils flared. "Yes," he said flatly.
"Messy eater?" the third Genin broke in, not quite jokingly.
"No. Just a heavy one."
Training and practice and experience being what they were, none of the team's four members actually tensed at the second pulse of power; while the reaction would have slightly improved their ability to act and react quickly, it would also have made their chakra patterns stand out vivdly against the calmer background of the forest, and called them to the attention of any moderately sensitive animal or civilian.
Neshan brought his free hand up and let the fingers flicker through a short message in Konoha's basic finger-sign. 'proposal', the message went. 'shadow/water twin scouts, (lays traps?), distraction/bait. twin uses jutsu, tests defenses-endurace. assuming loss-destruction, second twin provokes enemy into open and signal's combined attack from all team elements; reccomend shadow-lock as opening. concur/refine?'

---

Ja, -n

===============================================
"Puripuri puripuri... Bang!"

[drakensis]

Gaara was watching Shikanenai with eager eyes as the judge backed away. His whole posture screamed 'attack me so I can rend you limb from limb'.
For his part, Shikanenai was so relaxed that some of the audience were wondering if he was heavily sedated. To be honest though, it was more the result of having been up all night getting bawled out by his mother over the whole Temari in his bed situation and then sneaking out to drug Kankuro's breakfast... he was bushed. He really didn't have the endurance for that sort of thing back when he was twelve...
"Sleep well last night?" he asked lazily.
Gaara glared. "No."
"What?" Shikanenai asked innocently. "I had nothing to do with that - I didn't get much sleep last night myself..."
(Somewhere in the stands, Nara Yoshino twitched and rose from her seat to push towards where Temari was sitting. The young woman had no living mother and apparently no one had taught her proper behavior... Temari shivered and wondered what had sent that frisson of fear through her.)
Back in the arena, Shikanenai produced a stick of pocky. "Pocky?" he asked Gaara, who simply shook his head.
"Do you think I am a fool, like Kankuro?"
In response, the Nara clamped the stick of chocolate between his teeth like a cigar... or the judge's ever-present senbon and shrugged his shoulders. "Never know until you try."
"Get started!" came a jeer from the crowds.
Gaara smirked. "Enough talk," he hissed and a fist of sand smashed through the cloud of smoke where Shikanenai had been. A bushin!? Where...?
There was a tap on Genma's shoulder and he snapped his head around, twisting his body out of the way of any incoming attack and raising a kunai with lethal intent... against Shikanenai?
"Kid..." he groaned. "What?"
"I quit."
"Huh?"
"Y'know, forfeit." The boy gave him a lazy look. "Team Seven may have something of a reputation, but we're not Kage-level combatants. And trust me, that's what it would take to stop him head on."
Genma blinked, then shook his head and raised one arm. "Nara Shikanenai forfeits! Gaara of the Desert wins!"
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

[drakensis]

"I have one question," Kankuro said sourly as the two genin walked up the long stairwell that led back to the balcony from which the other contenders were waiting. "How the devil did you manage to get poison into my breakfast?"
Shikanenai shrugged his shoulders, keeping out of arm's reach - and upwind - of the puppeteer. "Oh, that? Quite simple really. During our last meeting..."
"Wait, wait - I haven't seen you since the preliminary round."
The other boy shook his head and tsked. "Oh, on the contrary. We have met many times since then, although you knew me by another name. Let me refresh your memory. While your sensei was returning to Sunagakure, you arranged with one of the porters to put certain... other services... onto your hotel bill. Such a helpful lad..."
"Oh crap," Kankuro muttered.
"Yes! I was the geisha."
"You were..." If the previous statement had caused Kankuro to pale behind his make-up, this one left him slack jawed and leaning heavily on the rail. "Wait, you were - I don't believe it! You? Arisa-chan?"
Shikanenai batted his eyes and spoke in a husky voice: "You're so tense, Kankuro-dono... would you like a backrub?"
"But... didn't I grab your...?"
"Such a vigorous young shinobi," Shikanenai cooed, smirking cruelly.
"And then Temari hit me over the head with her fan," Kankuro said slowly, "and you went to her room with her and..."
"Gave her some tips on how to use her feminine wiles on some young Leaf-nin who's offended her," the other boy replied with a straight face. "Since apparently sneaking into his bedroom and trying to strangle him in his sleep didn't work..."
"But didn't you..."
"Tactical kissing," Shikanenai observed tranquilly, "is one of the many feminine wiles that the uninitiated underestimate."
Kankuro shook his head, and gave 'Nenai a somewhat fearful look. "Is there anything you won't sink to?"
Shikanenai smirked again. "You Suna-nin... you're so very powerful... and so very, very dumb..."
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

[Rieverre]

---

It was both better and worse than fighting a 'human' opponent ... the fact that some shinobi had delved so far into things best left alone that they could barely be considered such included.
Everything else aside, there was a difference to the mind.
The creature had mass enough to be the rough equivalent of a large tiger where weight was concerned, though it wouldn't seem so at first glance - the limbs were generally slimmer and longer, as was the torso, so it appeared quite a bit larger than that. Two prehensile tendrils of inky blackness extended upwards from the like colored fur of the beast's back.
Clones were torn apart in a moment, before the beast's shadow was snagged by that of Shikanenai, augmented by the shadows of the trees ... which lasted until the youkai blinked out of existence.
'Nenai immediately shot to the side, springboarded off the trunk of a tree, and narrowly avoided being eviscerated by the shape barreling in his direction from what had been his blind spot mere instants ago.
Said tree was not so lucky, trunk ending up little more than a cloud of splinters that momentarily obscured the beast from view, save for its twin 'tentacles' which whipped around wildly around its supposed position.
A Suiryuudan crafted dragon of pressurized water reared up into the sky from the nearby stream, and shot downwards, jaws open, a darker shape falling down within the water of the chakra construct.
The jutsu slammed into nothing at all, and a tree-bound Bakusuta Neshan parried a claw swipe that came, literally, out of nowhere, with the shaft of his naginata, only to cry out as jaws shattered past it and closed around his ribcage ...
... which was when the Kagebushin exploded right in the cat demon's maw, numerous explosive tags being set off as one and blowing away flesh and bone ...
Kirigishi Katsu, still dripping from his immersion in the water dragon jutsu, shot towards the staggering, mostly headless body from the point of the abovementioned dragon's impact ...
In an eyeblink, the mass of ragged flesh that had once been a head convulsed, twisting itself back into its original shape.
A tentacle snapped forward, extending beyond what had previously seemed its physical limit, slamming into Kirigishi's chest.
The genin's body taken clear off his feet, and catapulted backwards through the air ... even as another one seemed to split off from within him just before the impact, continuing the dash underneath the tentacle swipe, trailing water droplets.
The airborne Katsu slammed into a tree and lost cohesion, revealing himself to be little more than a chakra shaped mass of water, even as the original dove under and past his assailant, slashing upwards with a kunai as he slid between the beast's paws.
Retaliation was immediate, and made less effective only due to a second water dragon slamming down between the genin and the youkai, courtesy of said genin's Jounin-sensei.
Kakashi fought with experience, Neshan with a sort of calmness that made you think he was always several steps ahead of his enemy, and 'Nenai added a wildcard sort of balance to his melding of the two ...
... Kirigishi was usually something close to that lattermost attitude, but there and then he ran almost purely on instinct, face set in a snarl as he bounced, bounded, and finally crouched on the trunk of a tree ...
The youkai's roar of indignation and pain sounded. The wound to its belly wasn't healing.
"It works! Use steel!" Katsu shouted out as he lashed out with a spread of thrown kunai before bounding off.

---

*grumble* That seemed ... awkward. Took longer than I thought it would, too.
And yeah, cheap trick with the 'steel/iron' thing. Katsu's actually got a few kunai on him that are cold iron, not steel - he got them right after Kakashi became their sensei, just because he hasn't been without at least one cold iron weapon ever since his early Mist-genin days and the much referred to East Continent mission. Just goes to show that hindsight may be 20/20, but sometimes it does help.
Suggestion: fight commences, they manage to pin it for Kakashi to finish off with a Chidori.
-Griever
When tact is required, use brute force. When force is required, use greater force.
When the greatest force is required, use your head. Surprise is everything. - The Book of Cataclysm

[Rieverre]

An amusing thought that occured to me when thinking about a certain cat.

---

Neshan gave the seals a last critical glance, then handed it off. Shikanenai did likewise. So did Katsu, completing the circle. Neshan pocketed the two slips of paper.
He'd done most of the seal work, with Katsu adding in 'his' experience with self-perpetuating chakra constructs (when asked he'd mumble about something called 'Gu-rei-puu-ni-ru') to do the bits that leeched ambient energy from both the person to activate the Seal and the ...err, subject.
Then 'Nenai had looked over the initial project and pointed out redundancies without which the whole thing turned out to be considerably more efficient.
... so much that it was actually marketable. They'd agreed to see about patenting it next morning.
"So, how many D-Class missions' worth should we charge the daimiyo for this, do you think?" Katsu asked as he stood and stretched the kinks out of his limbs.
"Just him? What about the other teams?" 'Nenai's grin was downright predatory. "After all, we're saving them from ever having to hunt down that damn cat again."
The 'Lost and Found' tag and retrieval set proved to be an instant success.
And the Hokage's office staff had to spend the following month coming up with some different kind of reusable D-Class mission they could fill in the blanks of the day's roster with.

---

I've been channeling Kirigishi lately and wondering whether or not there's a 'Konohagakure no Jutsu' out there somewhere. Or one that specifically uses a storm of chakra enhanced leaves as an attack/obfuscation.
-Griever
When tact is required, use brute force. When force is required, use greater force.
When the greatest force is required, use your head. Surprise is everything. - The Book of Cataclysm

[drakensis]

If there isn't I'm sure we could invent one. Shodaime had an affinity for leafy jutsu IIRC.
-----------------------------------------------------
Shikanenai tried to pretend that he hadn't seen the rather obvious fake rock that was creeping up on the team. It was an ugly ruse, but it was better than seeing the travesty that was inside. For the fifth time that week he weighed the merits of battering the box until it actually looked like a natural rock against the flaws of ANBU dragging him in front of the Hokage to explain the hospitalisation of Sarutobi Konohamaru.
Not worth it. Damn.
"Burning Power of -!" The rest of the sentence was 'Youth Explosion Jutsu' but 'Nenai had bullied his cou- er, twin brother into devising a variant of the family's technique that would force the target's facial expression to mimic that of the user. And since his lips were sealed, so were those of the Konohamaru Corps as they were frozen in mid-attack upon their leader's 'Great Rival'.
Katsu and Neshan looked on with sympathy masked by rough humour. "It's good that the children have someone to look up to," Katsu observed wisely.
"Lee's really very good with children," Neshan agreed as Shikanenai raked the eight-year-olds with a depressed look.
After a minute, the Nara released his prey.
"Very perceptive!" Konohamaru shouted. He was truly as loud as his inspiration. "Just as I expect of my Great Rival!" He puffed up his chest and thrust out an upraised thumb.
Shikanenai gave him an unamused look. The boy had managed with obvious effort to tame his hair into what was recognisably a bowlcut, and was wearing a rather baggy green jumpsuit. The genin could only be glad that the rest of 'Team Konohamaru' hadn't followed suit. Instead, Udon was wearing leather wrap around his head and a baggy jacket, while Moegi had adopted a chinese shirt and had cut her hair into two small bobbles.
"Konohamaru," 'Nenai said, with obvious effort to keep his temper under control. "I want your firm promise to forever abstain from spandex."
"But that would mean I couldn't be like Lee-sensei! and Maito-ji-sama," the boy protested only to recoil as Shikanenai's clawing fingers barely missed his throat. Neshan and Katsu exchanged glances and seized their red-faced teammate by opposite arms.
"Do you remember the first rule?" Neshan asked the kids brightly.
"When in danger or in doubt, run for your life?" Moegi asked sunnily.
Katsu gave them an evil grin and nodded. Shikanenai managed to pull forward by about a step, dragging the other two behind him. Team Konohamaru got the point almost immediately.
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.