ROTFL: Can has Cheeseburger?

[drakensis]

Avatar Fanfiction in the form of sequential art: Water Tribe

Featured around an amnesiac Admiral Zhao, who's taken a level in Badass Asshole to go with his previous levels of Manly Sideburns. The art is spot
on: matching seamlessly to the Avatar cartoon - particularly the facial expressions.

Yueh: "I'll warn you only once. Don't talk to my girl again. Don't even try to get close to her!"

Zhao: "Oh? And who's going to serve me drinks? You?"

Yueh: "Show respect to an army officer!"

Zhao: "Are you? I thought I was talking to a jealous little kid."

Yueh: "That's it old man! AGNI KAI!"

Zhao: "Agni what?"

Innkeeper: "Go get the guards!"

Innkeep's Daughter: "But I'll miss the fight!"

Innkeeper: "GO!"

Innkeep's Wife: (to Zhao) "TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF!"

Innkeeper: ...

Innkeep's Wife: (impassive) "It's a duel. That's part of Fire Nation custom. He's gotta learn to do it properly."

Warning, the fancomic is 447 pages long. Counting a picture as equal to 1,000 words (traditional) that's the equivalent of almost half a million words.
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

[drakensis]

"I get it," said Sokka. "It's actually decent of you to be loyal, you know, to pretend she's the best even when you know that there
are other girls who are superior in every way." Sokka nodded sagely. "I'm sure she'd be very happy."




"My girlfriend could kill you," Zuko said, with lazy satisfaction. "Before you even drew your sword, if she wanted to."




Sokka sighed. "You are completely missing the point of this conversation."




Zuko turned his head and gave Sokka a pitying look. A look that clearly communicated his belief that it was, in fact, Sokka who was missing the point.




"She carries fifty-seven knives," he said. "On her body."




Sokka was incredulous. "You're making that number up. There's no way."




The corners of Zuko's mouth turned up in a smirk. "I counted."




Sokka stared at him for a long moment, opened his mouth, and then closed it again as he formulated his response. "...Really?" he heard himself
asking.




Zuko leaned forward conspiritorially and Sokka leaned in as well, but when Zuko spoke he didn't whisper. "She only sleeps with ten, though."




Sokka sat upright again, back straight. "Yeah, well, Suki and I- this one time we kissed. A lot. For...it was- had to have been over an hour."




Zuko made a strange noise and Sokka glared at him when he realized that it was a snicker.




"That's very...nice," said Zuko, in far too kindly a manner. "Did you hold hands afterward?"

Male Bonding
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

[ECSNorway]

Vivio's Magical Omake Theater!

"So let me see," Hayate said to Nanoha. "According to this report, Vivio seems to be progressing well in her training."

"Mmn!" Nanoha said happily. "She's studying very hard under Vita-chan. She's learning new things almost as fast as we did, and without the constant pressure of life-or-death battle."

"So speaks the proud mother. But I did have a question. Vita was talking to me about some of Vivio's upgraded abilities that she created for herself. There's an enhanced personal barrier, Eisengeist. There's an enhanced shield, Eisenschild, and even an enhanced attack spell, Eisenfaust. Are you sensing a pattern?"

Nanoha sighed.

"You should see her room at home. Graf Eisen wall-scrolls. Graf Eisen PVC statues. Graf Eisen T-shirts. She even has a Graf Eisen body pillow and sheets!" Nanoha hung her head and sighed. "My...my daughter has warhammer moe..."

--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[Bob Schroeck]

I have just stumbled across http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3038705/1/G ... _Gabrielle]G is for Gabrielle, a somewhat older Harry Potter fic (with a most unlikely shipping -- Gabrielle Delacoeur and George Weasley), and its second chapter has a two passages I wanted to share. The first is about Gabrielle, ensconced at the Burrow before Bill and Fleur's wedding, going over an odd, old book her grandmother had given her before she left for England:

Reading the book was more of a problem than expected. It was written in French, but it was Old French, when spelling and grammar were more haphazard. Also, words she didn't recognize or didn't exist anymore were mixed in with Latin phrases. Gabrielle thought she got the gist of most of it.

The book, Gabrielle deduced, was really in three parts. The first part basically covered how to attract a warrior to your side. It was actually pretty tame compared to the flirting tips in the muggle women's magazines she read while Fleur tried on clothes. The second part covered what to do with the warrior once you got one. Getting a warrior was now something that Gabrielle intended to avoid as long as possible. She had not needed to work out the text for this part of the book. The drawings were extensive, detailed, and, Gabrielle thought, highly unlikely. She cringed recalling the 'fourth devotion'. That could just not be possible. She wished she could ask Fleur about it, or even her Maman, but then that would lead them to knowing she had looked at the book.

The third section covered sending the warrior into battle. There were a number of rituals to protect the warrior, to motivate the warrior, and to add to his fighting prowess. There was even a ritual to bring about a warrior's defeat. Gabrielle supposed this was for when you wanted a new warrior, or perhaps if you wanted to stop the 'devotions'.

Even though the third part was describing a kind of ritual magic that could make a warrior supposedly invincible in battle, a magic that Gabrielle could potentially do, she found it far more believable than the second section. She would love to use the defeat curse on the toaster back home - it still burned her toast occasionally, even after she had chipped a bit off of it as a warning using the knife from Gaston. Unfortunately, the rituals in the book all took a lot of time, a lot of candles, and not a lot of clothes. There was also a lot of mention of the 'blood sacrifice'. That wasn't too appealing. Gabrielle couldn't imagine her Maman's reaction if she caught Gabrielle surrounded by candles marking out a pentagram, writhing naked on top of the toaster, chanting in Latin and waving a dead rat.

And then there's this dinner scene:

There was a seat open next to Fleur, one open next to Mr. Weasley, and another open next to George. It was obvious that she was supposed the sit next to Fleur. The seat next to Mr. Weasley was for his wife, and no Weasley besides Bill ever sat next to Fleur by choice. Ginny wouldn't be coming down, though. Gabrielle decided to sit between the twins again, and just for fun tapped George on the shoulder and demanded imperiously, "Oy! Birge up!"

George looked at her blankly, then at Fred. Fred said, "I'm not the one for languages. Try speaking slowly and loudly to her."

Gabrielle decided that it hadn't sounded right, and tried again tentatively, "Booj up?"

"(Tell me, has the circus come to town? Why are you dressed as a clown?)" Fleur scolded after noticing Gabrielle.

"(It is a hideous dress, isn't it? I found it in my trunk. I don't know who packed it,)" Gabrielle replied. "Boodge up?" The twins were making faces and gesturing at her now trying to show they didn't understand. It was difficult to not laugh.

"(You look like a diseased chicken with those striped socks. It is embarrassing our family,)" declared Fleur.

"(Think of them as stems for the ridiculous flowers stuck on the front of this horrid rag,)" snapped Gabrielle.

"I think 'budge' is the word you're looking for, dear," whispered Mrs. Weasley as she went past. She glanced at Gabrielle's legs, then at Fleur, and smiled.

"Oy! Budge up!" Gabrielle exclaimed. She knew it was something like that. Fred jumped to his feet, grabbed his plate, and started pushing Harry over. "You heard her highness, budge up!"

Harry hit the ground with a shout, but came up laughing and shoving at Ron. Ron slid halfway onto Tonks seat, his ears quite pink. Tonks lowered her shoulder and bulled her way onto Shack's seat. The bald auror looked at Moody, who glared back at him with the magical eye first then his real one too, and went to the other side of Moody and sat in Bill's lap. Bill, laughing loudly, rolled out from beneath Shack and scooped up Fleur. She squealed in surprise. Bill deposited her into the open seat that was next to her and kissed her.

"I have 'boojed'," announced Fred amid the shuffling of plates as people reclaimed their dinners. Gabrielle looked at the twins who were now dramatically indicating the open seat between them. She sat down.

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Bob Schroeck]

Another little bit from "G is for Gabrielle", this time from chapter 15 -- George has taken Gabrielle (who is still all of 11) into a rather dodgy leather shop in Knockturn Alley to get her "best quality" dragonhide gloves:

Lunky and George had moved off to poke through sheets of leather hanging in frames. Dove left her when he heard the door to the shop open. At least no one will recognize me while I am in this shop, thought Gabrielle. What do people do with whips these days? She took a piece of cake from the tray.

Dove reappeared, his head visible over the racks of leather things. He was speaking to someone. Gabrielle moved to a better vantage point and could see the couple Dove was speaking to. The wizard, to Gabrielle, looked like any of the tired clerks in Papa's office. He was a little heavy, more sagging than fat, with thinning hair. The witch with him, on the other hand, looked amazing and would stand out anywhere. She was as tall as the wizard in her high-heeled boots, had glossy hair that was impossibly black, and wore blood-red lipstick to set off her pale skin. Her robes were also a shiny black, and were slit almost all the way up the sides revealing the fishnet stockings she wore. Gabrielle watched the witch prod her companion with something Gabrielle at first thought was her wand but could then see was a riding crop. That's one way to deal with boys, thought Gabrielle.

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[ECSNorway]

Just to keep this thread near the top of the list...

"What shall we make them?" Ayeka asked as she surveyed the kitchen in
dismay. She had never truly felt at home in the place. There were too many
foreign concepts here that eluded her.

"Well...." Akane paused for a moment, following Ayeka's line of thought
almost precisely. "I'm not really that good of a cook," She hated to admit
it, but she might as well get it out in the open before Ranma did. "...so I
think we should keep it simple."

Ayeka looked at Akane with a smile of understanding. "I am not well
practiced in cooking either." She was glad that she had found a kindred soul
of sorts in the Tendo girl. "What would you suggest?"

Akane returned Ayeka's smile happily. "How about some chocolate chip
cookies?" An easy recipe. Surly they could pull it off together. This was
going to be fun!

The universe, for one single instant shuddered with fear.

Splitting Heirs
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[OpMegs]

*reacts as if punched from the impact of the pun in the title*

Ow. That was bad.
---
"Oh, silver blade, forged in the depths of the beyond. Heed my summons and purge those who stand in my way. Lay
waste."

[Norgarth]

I remember that fic, their 'cookies' somehow turns into a tenatcled blob which Ranma and Tenchi have to rescue them from. 8)
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin

[ECSNorway]

Revisiting the TFF Random Time-Loop Insanity threads, I found this gem...

"Get up! I said get up you lazy oafs!" Bellatrix Black Lestrange screeched as she kicked her cousin Sirius Black as hard as she could in the ass, mostly because it was impossible to reach his balls in the position he had passed out in on the floor of the hotel suite. Fortunately, the unregistered dog animagus was still too inebriated from last night's celebrations to do more than grumble and mutter 'five more minutes, Mum.'

The witch sneered in frustration at the general lack of response from her idiot relative. It had taken her weeks to track him and his current cohorts down to this room in Las Vegas. How they had managed to escape magical detection for so long still boggled her mind. Especially after seeing the state they three were in.

"Someone turn off the alarm. It's too loud," Harry potter groaned from the bed as he pulled the covers over his head to try to drown out the noise.

"Who the fuck let 'Tuney in here?" Severus Snape mumbled drunkenly from the couch as he reached for something heavy to toss at what he had mistaken for Lily's annoying older sister in his haze.

Bella didn't even bother to look at Snape as she sidestepped the ashtray that would have hit her in the back of the head and snapped, "What do you bastards think you're doing? Do you have any idea how stuffed up everything is at home? The Dark Lord is missing, the Order has been going spare attacking us for "kidnapping" you three and Lucius has been whining non-stop about not being invited to your little exercise in debauchery!"

"Not our fault the idiot went and got married so young," Sirius muttered. "No way 'm messin' with Cissy frettin' over his arse."

That bit of conversation was enough to make Harry look up blearily from the bed and realize that the appearance of Tom's right-hand woman was not a drunken hallucination. All he could really think about that, though, was "Tom's missing? Did you check the tub? He might have gone to puke."

"Nah, I thin' we leftum at the titty bar," Sirius slurred.

"What are you two dunderheads rambling about? Oh, when did you get here Bella? I don't recall ordering a raging bitch from room service. At least not one that's fully clothed," Snape commented as he felt the first stages of a major hangover setting in as he sat up.

Bellatrix looked ready to kill all three of the wizards in the room with her bare hands as she growled, "Do you mean to tell me you three went off gallivanting with the Dark Lord for three weeks, stalling the entire war effort, only to LOSE him at a MUGGLE STRIP CLUB?!"

"Course not!" Sirius protested, still unwilling to get up or open his eyes.

"It was a demonic strip club a friend of ours named Xander introduced us to a few loops ago. Tom would freak out muggle women with the whole snake-faced thing, but the Naga women go nuts for him," Harry elaborated with a dopey smile.

It was only the fact that Bellatrix needed the three drunkards around her alive to find the Dark Lord that help her from offing the lot of them with the killing curse then and there. She swore, when she got the four of them home there would be hell to pay for this.

--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[Black Aeronaut]

*Jaw drops at the cracktastic insanity*

Dear God, man, give us the link!

[ECSNorway]

Continuing the cracktastic insanity with Negima/Evangelion:

There were a lot of things for Eva to dislike about the current loop. For starters, her alleged superiors, especially the Commander, were people she wanted to hit with a Lightning Axe on general principle. Her fellow pilots weren't much better. But there was one very pleasant benefit for being a pilot for NERV from the perspective of a nosferatu...

LCL. Ritsuko claimed that it was a synthesized compound, but Eva knew what it really was. Blood. Sweet, power rich blood, hers for the taking. And partake of it she did, to the point where the technicians were wondering why every time she piloted or had a sync test, her plug apparently formed a leak.

It had taken her some effort, but she had finally found the main storage facility of all of that wonderful blood deep beneath the GeoFront. Using the power she had gained from her previous samplings, a spell to force open the doors was simple.

The crucified Angel in the room was unimportant to Eva. What really mattered was that below it was the only sea of blood to exist outside of poetic license. More blood than any vampire would ever see in their entire unlife. Millions upon millions of gallons of blood, and it was all hers.

Three hours later, Central Dogma was shaken by a belch of colossal proportions. Fifteen minutes after that, Evangeline Athansia Katherine McDowell passed into the Next Great Iteration by means of a truly spectacular case of indigestion.

--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[Black Aeronaut]

O_o;

That's actually gotta be a bit of an embarrasing way to go for a Vampire. Were I in her shoes, I'd've been happy with the supply in the plug.

[Matrix Dragon]

blackaeronaut wrote:

---

O_o;




That's actually gotta be a bit of an embarrasing way to go for a Vampire. Were I in her shoes, I'd've been happy with the supply in the plug.

If time keeps cycling and repeating, with only the occasional variety from timelines merging and separating, and you can't properly die... I can see her
waking up after kicking off the reset. "So worth it..."

[NifT]

Matrix Dragon wrote:

---

If time keeps cycling and repeating, with only the occasional variety from timelines merging and separating, and you can't properly die... I can see her
waking up after kicking off the reset. "So worth it..."

It has been implied that most or all of the Anchors have done similar stupid things and waking up the next loop with that same thought. Can't say I blame
them. Were I an Anchor, I'd do it too ^_^

[Black Aeronaut]

Ah, I see. So where the heck is this thing at?

[Matrix Dragon]

I have no idea. I've read some of it before, but I lack a link. Norway, a little help please?

[VladimirTherin]

The time loop threads are spread around on TFF in the various "Ideas" sections. Heres a link to the hp one:

http://z14.invisionfree.com/The_Fanfict ... opic=14164

The negima "fused loop" thread ( usually means a cross over of some sort with another looper around somewhere.) I suspect this is the source.

http://z14.invisionfree.com/The_Fanfict ... opic=15587

[ECSNorway]

What Vlad said. There are Loop threads under Harry Potter, Ranma, Naruto (the longest, and the one where it all started - I think they were mocking Chuunin
Exam Day at the time), Star Wars, and a few other places as well, I think.

At least one of the Ranma ones is getting turned into a full-up fic - Nanya's "Numbers in Nerima". It starts with Ranma looping into Jail
Scaglietti's place at about the start of StrikerS, and deciding to throw a prank war at Nanoha and the gang. Once that's done he and all the Numbers
end up in Nerima in an otherwise-apparently-canon (except for a looping Nabiki) Ranmaverse Nerima.
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[Morganite]

Fate stroked her bulging belly lovingly with one hand while grasping Nanoha’s hand with the other. The blond placed her wife’s hand on her firm stomach and held it there for a few moments till a tiny foot bumped Nanoha’s hand.”

“She kicked!”

“Pacis says, ‘Hi Mama!’” Fate beamed.

“Pacis? I thought we were going to name it after Lindy or my dad?”

“Rinis used to say that it means 'peace',” Fate replied while gazing at her belly lovingly, “If we have ‘liveliness’ with Vivio, then we can have ‘peace’ with Pacis. If anything, this world could use a little peace even if it is just a name.”

It was then that Nanoha remembered all the reasons why she had fallen in love with the woman next to her. Fate saw the joyful ending rather that the immediate discomfort and the person through the pain. Nanoha kissed her wife again, but her fears melted in the warmth of Fate’s strength. A bright smile finally emerged on Nanoha’s face, and she leaned over Fate’s belly.

“Grow up strong, Pacis. Mama can’t wait to meet you!”

Nanoha kissed the solid stomach but yelped when she felt a tiny foot kick her mouth, “A punk already?”

Fate laughed deeply as Nanoha rubbed her lips, “She’s already taking after her Nanoha-mama!”

“Huh!?”

“She’s trying to be your friend,” Fate laughed.

I don't normally like befriending jokes, but that's cute.

Source: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4730902/1/L ... Magic_Word

-Morgan.

"Arm yourself because you might find something here you want to save."

[OpMegs]

Nanoha and Fate coming out of the class utterly traumatized was about as funny as that one line. That and Nanoha's internal doom radar about Fate's
mood swings.

From Endless Dreams, a Rin-As-Caster-As-Counter-Guardian Peggy Sue fic...

(Crickets.)

Rider: Um....

Caster: Where's Medea?

Assassin: She hasn't arrived yet.

Caster: She's late?

Assassin: Who knows.

Medea: I'm here!

Rider: Ah, here she is.

Caster: Medea! Where have you been?

Caster: Fufufu, plotting your demise! The final phone call, the last letter, has been sent! Soon, we shall ally and overthrow the tyranny of the Main
Heroines!

Caster: OK, what the hell?

Medea: If I'm correct, the letter has arrived, and soon she shall show up!

Caster: Who will show up?

Medea: Who else?! Yumizuka Satsuki! The first, and most powerful, of all us spurned females of Type-Moon! With her by my side, I shall be unbeatable!

(Knock knock)

Medea: That must be her! Assassin! Let her in!

Asssasin: Sure, sure. Whatever.

(Door opens)

Medea: Fufufufu... soon you shall-

????: Yo, what's going on here?

(Kagetsu Tohuya OST: Track 03 plays)

Medea: .......

Caster: That doesn't look like Satsuki to me.

Arcueid: Yo.

Medea: What... what are you doing here!

Arcueid: Oh, yeah. Well, Sacchin got this letter the other day inviting her here. But she's busy. So I, having nothing better to do, offered to go in
her place.

Medea: BUSY? Busy with what?!

Arcueid: Oh, haven't you heard? They're remaking Tsukihime. She's busy getting her new route done.

Medea: ........................................................................................................................


Caster: I think you killed her from the shock, Arcueid-san.

Arcueid: Ehhhh hey, what is this place anyways?

Rider: Caster's Comment Corner, a comedy side section for the Fanfic "Endless Dream."

Arcueid: Ooohhhhhhh. Sounds like fun! Last time I was in a comedy side section Ciel kept on hitting me.

Medea: AAHHHHHGGGGGGHHH!!!!

(Ancient Greek Laser Beams!)

Arcueid: Owie! Just like that! Only with less flashy special effects!

Assassin: Thank you, I put a lot of work into them.

From inside the story itself, after Berserker is taken out and Ilya moves in at Shirou's house...

Taiga arrived just a few minutes after dinner started. Seeing the food, she instantly began serving herself.

"Soo...." Taiga glanced at Illya, "Why are you here, anyways?"

"My name is Illyasviel von Einzbern, Miss." Illya said with a sweet smile. "These are my maids, Sella and Leysritt."

"Ma-maids? Are you rich or something?"

"Oh very." Illya grinned.

"Eeehhh then why are you here?" Taiga frowned, "I mean, if your rich enough for maids shouldn't you be at a mansion or fancy
hotel?"

"Hmmm..." Illya paused, "Why is everyone else here?"

"Oh?" Taiga paused, "Well... ah. Sakura-chan is here because she's practically Shirou's wife."

"Guh... Sensei..." Sakura muttered.

"Caster-san is Shirou's aunt, and Saber-chan and Rider-chan are her daughters."

"I see." Illya nodded, "Well then, I guess I can tell the truth then, since nobody but family is here."

"...family?" Caster asked.

"Yes... you see, the truth is... I am Emiya Kiritsugu's love child!"

"Guuuhhha?" Shirou stared.

"Love child? No way!" Taiga stared, "You're joking, right?"

"Why would someone as rich as me claim to be the love child of a traveling weirdo unless it was true?" Illya answered calmly.

"Sh-shirou, that means this girl is your sister!" Taiga whispered. "Did you know this?"

"... no, this is the first time I've heard it." Shirou deadpanned.

"Yup. Well, Onii-chan, can you take care of me?" Illya said cheerfully.

"Um... well. I guess so, Illya."

"Yay!" Illya suddenly seemed to get closer to Shirou.

"Illya...?"

"Onii-chan. I want you to talk to me like a little sister, OK?" Illya suddenly said.

"Um..." Shirou paused.

"Shirou, if she's your sister, you need to show her proper affection!" Taiga whispered.

"Umm...." He sighed, "Fine, um, Illya-neechan." He muttered.

"...ahh..." Illya's eyes sparkled. "Onii-chan!" She grabbed into his arm, "Thank you thank you!"

"Guh..."

"Awww isn't that cute." Taiga grinned.

"...yes." Sakura tried not to glare.

"I-Illyasviel! Release Shirou!" Saber nearly shouted.

Night came, chores were assigned and done. And another day ended.

---
"Oh, silver blade, forged in the depths of the beyond. Heed my summons and purge those who stand in my way. Lay
waste."

[SkyeFire]

From the latest chapter of Greg Landsman's Nobody Dies:

"That was Plan B?" Misato asks, blinking, "I like Plan B! I could see Plan B through my eyelids!"

"Welcome to NERV," Yui says, rubbing her eyes, "God's in his Heaven because He's scared of our superior firepower."

[Wiregeek]

From Greg Landsman's Nobody Dies, which I highly reccomend:

"I've been keeping in touch with Asuka behind Kyoko's back," she says, "That's part of the reason I keep pushing Kihl for the
transfer. Something is seriously wrong over there, Gendo."

"And we both agreed to shove Shinji into the giant robot. I daresay neither of us are getting parent of the year awards."

Muttering, she slaps the folder down on his desk. Hands on the desk, he slowly turns to stare at her, pushing his glasses back up his nose.

"You're insufferable," she says.

"I'm patient," he responds, "We're not going to get any more done by blatantly undermining Dr. Sohryu's authority."

"How about subtly undermining her authority?"

A small grin parts his face.

"Are you pondering what I am pondering?" he asks.

She leans closer, faces inches from each other.

"I think so, dear," she says, "But I have no idea where we would get saran wrap in that bulk."
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies

[Black Aeronaut]

Oh, you think that was good? I'm especially fond of how Chapter Five ends...

In Central Dogma, Rei claps her hands together and squeals.

"Oh my God!" she screams, "They explode! My life has new meaning!!"

Sitting at the highest station, Kozou Fuyutsuki raises an eyebrow. Gendo Ikari blinks.

"We need to switch that girl to Decaf."

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/5/NGE_Nobody_Dies

[Glidergun]

Yeah, that's a great fic.

"That was Plan B?" Misato asks, blinking, "I like Plan B! I could see Plan B through my eyelids!"

"Welcome to NERV," Yui says, rubbing her eyes, "God's in his Heaven because He's scared of our superior firepower."

[yesilmavi]

potter/deadpool. (raised by)
http://www.tthfanfic.org/Story-21031-5/ ... +Boxes.htm

Professor Xavier was looking out the window, enjoying the first
long stretch of quiet he’d had since Logan took Harry to the Savage
Land. His tea was hot, the sun was out and the grass was green. All in
all, it was a pretty good day.
“Professor?”
“Yes, what
is it Hank?” Charles Xavier asked as he turned around in his hover
chair. The blue furred mutant scientist Hank McCoy held a printout in
his hands.
“We have the results of the genetic test,” Beast said, gripping the paper. “Harry is a mutant.”
“Oh, really, then his ability to talk to snakes…?”
“No, that’s not his mutant power,” said a very worried Hank McCoy. “I didn’t want to say anything, considering your…issue.”
“Hank, I have long since come to terms with my inability to walk,” the Professor said, waving the thought away.
“That’s not really what I meant.” Hank hesitantly passed the print out over. “Harry’s mutant power. It’s hair regeneration.”
“What?”
“Harry will never go bald.”
“Are you serious?”

“And his hair will never go gray,” Beast said quickly. The professor
gave him a long silent look before just floating back to his office.
And that’s why Professor Charles Xavier became Onslaught.